The A to Z of Practical Wisdom

106 Pages·2010·0.7 MB·English

by  Lorraine Hockley

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The A to Z of Practical Wisdom

by

Lorraine Hockley

ISBN: 0-7443-1890-4

Copyright 2010 by Lorraine Hockley
All Rights Reserved

Published by SynergEbooks
http://www.synergebooks.com

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DEDICATION

To my husband, Gary
You are my strength and my comfort

To my beautiful daughters, Olivia and Kirsten
I am so very proud of both of you

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK

1. ACCEPTANCE: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
The small stuff…The big stuff…The river...The Serenity Prayer

2. BALANCE: HOW DO I ACHIEVE IT IN MY LIFE?
Juggling balls…Taking inventory…HALT technique…Less is more

3. CHOICES: CAN I REALLY CHOOSE THE LIFE I WANT?
Expectations…Themes…Choose fun!

4. DEATH: IS IT THE END OF ME?
Fear of death…Proof of life after death…Awareness of your
mortality…Legacy

5. EMOTIONAL PAIN: WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD?
Fear…Depression and obligation…It will pass

6. FAITH: CAN THE IMPOSSIBLE HAPPEN?
Courage…Trust

7. GRATITUDE: AM I A GRATEFUL PERSON?
Attitude of gratitude…Serenity…Humility…Learn to be grateful

8. HAPPINESS: WILL I EVER BE TRULY HAPPY?
Happy habits…Give your self permission

9. INTUITION: AM I LISTENING TO IT?
Three sources of intuition…The power of insights

10. JUDGMENT: WHO AM I TO JUDGE PEOPLE?
Judging by appearance…The ‘compare and compete game’

11. KNOWLEDGE: DO I REALLY NEED IT?
Children…Adults…Knowledge in your twilight years

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12. LIFE PURPOSE: WHY AM I HERE, ANYWAY?
Experience…Unique talent…Values and contribution

13. MONEY: WHY DOES IT RULE MY LIFE?
Consumerism…Currencies…Contribution

14. NEGATIVITY: HOW DO I OVERCOME IT?
Sabotage behavior…Media influence…Harmlessness

15. ONE GOD FOR ALL: WHO OR WHAT IS GOD?
Getting to know God…God in action…One world religion

16. PERSEVERANCE: HOW CAN I FACE TOMORROW?
One day at a time…Quitting is not an option…Hope

17. QUALITY OF LIFE: HOW DO I GET IT AND KEEP IT?
Remove tolerations…Life review…Hopes and dreams

18. RELATIONSHIPS: WHY CAN THEY BE SO DIFFICULT?
Self Love…Conditional relationships…Letting go of toxic
relationships

19. SELF-ESTEEM: WHY DO I WORRY ABOUT MY APPEARANCE?
Body image…Personal style…Inner being

20. TIME: WHY IS THERE NEVER ENOUGH?
Priorities and planning…Buffer zones

21. UNCERTAINTY: HOW DO I COPE WITH IT?
Be proactive…Creating natural rhythm…Clubs and networks

22. VALUES: WHY ARE THEY IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE?
Definition of values…Identifying your values…Live your values

23. WISDOM: WHAT IS IT, AND DO I HAVE IT?
Knowledge…Experience…Awareness

24. THE X FACTOR/ACTION: HOW CAN I MOTIVATE MYSELF?
Discipline…Minimum standards…Rituals…Rewards

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25. YOU MATTER: WHY DO PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER ME?
Boundaries…Neutral communication…Support crew

26. ZEN: CAN I EXPERIENCE A DEEPER REALITY?
Meditation…Mindfulness…Nature

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WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK

I am just an average person, a wife and mother. I am not a guru, nor do I follow
one. I don’t have a particular religious or spiritual belief system yet I believe in
God.

What I care about, passionately, is making this journey called life as painless, as
joyful and as successful as possible – for me, for my family, and for as many
people as I can help along the way.

You may not believe or accept some concepts in this book and that’s fine. But if
there is even one thing you read within these pages that lightens your load just a
little, then the book was worth writing.

I meant for this book to be practical. I am tired of reading ‘airy fairy’ books with
little substance and no strategies for improving our lives.

That is how The A to Z of Practical Wisdom came to be. Now it is up to you what
happens next…

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ACCEPTANCE:
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window.
(Ashleigh Brilliant)

Acceptance is about allowing life to unfold. Allow people to develop at their own
rate, in their own way – that is how they learn. Meanwhile, you learn tolerance
and patience. Allow experiences to happen with little interference. There is so
much you don’t know; trusting the Universal Plan is the greatest acceptance of
all.

* * *

Have you noticed that you only question fate when it is something you don’t want
to happen? When your car is dented or your house burgled, the first thought is:
‘Why me? It’s not fair’. Yet if you win the lottery, you think: ‘Fantastic! I deserve
this good luck’.

Acceptance is recognizing that our growth comes from surviving the tough times
and remaining humble when our boat comes in. It is a sign of emotional maturity
when you can practice acceptance no matter what is happening in your life.

Every day you are given a blank canvas, a brand new day full of endless
possibilities. Even if you have issues from the day before, they will not be exactly
the same today. You have the choice to shape your attitude, to turn resentment or
self-pity into acceptance.

Acceptance: The Small Stuff

Many years ago, I read a story in the Reader’s Digest: I have never forgotten it,
although the details may have blurred with the passing of time.

A man with a large family dreamed of having a den one day; his own private
space that no one would invade. At last the front door closed after the eldest child
left home (who, of course, was dearly loved and would be missed). The man
rubbed his hands together with glee. ‘Now I will have my den.’

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Within weeks, the man’s elderly father became ill and needed long-term care. The
man didn’t hesitate: he moved his father into the vacated room he had set aside
for his den. He made his father comfortable on the first night, and as he turned to
leave the room, he had a flash of insight. ‘This is my life, right now, not how I
want it to be one day.’

The man saw that fate always had a path mapped out for him, but his fantasy den
prevented him from appreciating it. His dream was for privacy and a quiet life.
His reality was being a pivotal person in a large, busy, loving household. The
insight brought the man acceptance and peace.

I think about that man and his long-awaited den when I am yearning for overseas
travel or a new car. It helps me to focus on accepting what is right under my nose:
a comfortable house, good food, a wonderful husband and healthy children. I may
get to travel, buy a new car, or I may not. It doesn’t matter.

Acceptance: The Big Stuff

When she was younger, Marguerite had a stillborn baby and she nearly died.
Sadly, it left her infertile. Today, Marguerite is a dynamic education expert; she
has poured her energy into improving the education of children and her work is
attracting international interest.

Other women may have been sad and bitter for years at being infertile. Not
Marguerite. She took the hand life dealt her and used it to make a difference in
the lives of thousands of young people. Turning adversity into triumph is
acceptance at its highest level.

The River

Lack of acceptance is like trying to swim against the current in a river. You battle,
you curse – you may even get frightened – but you will make no progress. In
your heart you know it would be easier to give up and go with the current;
however, you have your own agenda and will not be swayed.

Life has a natural flow; it is the Universal Plan in action. When you swim with
that flow, everything that is meant to happen will happen, quite naturally. All you
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need to do is just float with the current and it will carry you to your rightful
destination.

If you are feeling out of sorts, I guarantee that you are fighting against the current.
Your dissatisfaction will escalate until it screams for attention, by which time you
(and everyone else) will be frustrated, resentful and exhausted. There is an
answer…

The Serenity Prayer

Go to a quiet room and breathe slowly and deeply until you feel calm. Then apply
The Serenity Prayer to the situation until you reach acceptance:

‘God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change’ (My teenage
daughter’s bedroom looks like a tip site), ‘courage to change the things I can’ (I
will pick a time when she is in a good mood and have a quiet chat) ‘and the
wisdom to know the difference’ (the messy room is a minor issue; thank goodness
it is not drugs).

Acceptance deserves to be the first chapter of this book because without
acceptance life can be a monumental struggle. Make a decision today to reach
acceptance on just one unresolved issue in your life. Then let that issue go and
feel the peace.

Let nothing disturb thee, let nothing dismay thee, all things pass.
(St. Teresa of Avila)
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