Table Of Content

The 7 Habits of a Highly-Fulfilling Marriage By Matthew and Lisa Jacobson www.MatthewLJacobson.com www.Club31Women.com All Scripture is taken from the KJV Bible. Copyright © 2014 by Matthew L. Jacobson and Lisa Jacobson Cover design by Triumph Assistants ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this book may be reproduced in any form—photocopying, electronic, audio recording, or otherwise—without written permission from the authors. To find Matthew and Lisa Jacobson on the web: Blog: MatthewLJacobson.com Facebook: MatthewLJacobson Twitter: @MLJacobson Blog: Club31Women Facebook: Club31Women Twitter: @LisaClub31Women Pinterest: Club31Women Instagram: instagram.com/club31women If you enjoy this book, please consider leaving a review at Amazon. Thank you! Introduction An Uncommon Love The conversation wasn’t intended for my ears and I knew it. But somehow I couldn’t seem to help myself. I so desperately wanted to hear what he was going to say next. My husband was on the phone with a longtime friend from Canada whom he hadn’t spoken with since well before our wedding. They were talking about our marriage. About me, to be precise. You can understand then why I’d be incredibly anxious to hear what he would say. So quietly - and maybe wrongly - I stood by the door and listened while my husband confided in his friend. And that’s when I heard this…. “My wife and I are blessed with an uncommon love,” he was explaining. He probably said more, but I never heard anything further. My heart was too busy soaring. An uncommon love. Not merely love, but in his eyes we were enjoying an uncommonly beautiful love. How Did We End Up With an Uncommon Love? Now at about this point, you might be wondering what kind of woman I must be. Is there something special about me? Am I any different than you? I bet she’s one of those easy-going, servant-hearted sweethearts. I wish. But I’m afraid not. Oh, then it’s him. He must be the most incredible, most lovable man. He is. But that doesn’t mean you’d want to be married to him. Well then, I guess you two were simply made for each other. And so we are. But do you want to know what a pastor of a large church was overheard pronouncing on our wedding day? “Those two will undoubtedly wake up hating each other.” Not exactly the prediction you want to hear as you’re starting out your life together, is it? You see, we are made of the stuff that leads two people to hating – not to loving. Then how did we end up with an uncommon love? Amazingly enough, the Lord has taken this feisty, self-willed thing, matched her up with that intense, determined, visionary man and somehow made love out of it. So how do two people – destined for hate – learn to love? Exactly the question I asked myself. And quite possibly the question you’re asking yourself as well. So what are they going to offer, “Seven easy steps to an uncommon love?” Yes. And, no. I mean, sure, there are steps a spouse can take – although there aren’t exactly seven of them and some of them are easier than others. But isn’t marriage like that – a journey made up of a bunch of small steps and tiny moments? It’s certainly not like in the movies where love is portrayed as one dramatic and wild event. As something that either “works” or “doesn’t work”. No, marriage is more like a long, slow walk together. One step at a time. Sometimes we step backwards and lose a little bit of ground. At other times we find we’re making great strides. In any case, our Lord intended for us to walk it together and to walk in love. What Wonderful Things Christ Can Do In Your Marriage He can take something ugly and turn it into something beautiful. I know because I’ve watched Him do it right before my very eyes. For instance, he’s taken these two potential “haters” and turned them into lifelong lovers. He can take something sorrowful, and turn it into joy. Most couples walk through grief at some time or another. A season when sadness threatens to overtake all known happiness, yet He can bring comfort and healing to you and your marriage. He can take something bitter and turn it into something sweet. Bitterness is one of the great destroyers in a relationship, but forgiveness and letting go can restore a love and joy that seemed all but lost. He can also take something good and turn it into something truly wonderful. While many can attest to a “good” marriage, the Lord desires more for us than even that—He wants us to walk deeply in love for the rest of our days together. We can start by putting our hope in what the Lord says about our marriage and not listen to any voice which says otherwise. We can remember that we were made for love – and not just any love, but an uncommonly beautiful love – much like the love He has for us. God’s message to every couple is this: You can have a highly fulfilling marriage. No matter where you are, God’s message is the same. If you are going to consistently enjoy a highly fulfilling marriage, there are seven habits that you need to embrace and walk in – seven things that God is calling you to do as a spouse. And, don’t worry, this isn’t all about how the wife needs to do more, or how the husband falls short. There is something here for both husband and wife, but don’t wait for your spouse to hear the message designed for him/her. This is a message for both. So, let’s get focused on where God wants to take our marriages. How You Can Prepare Your Heart Before you begin reading any further, here are some things to do in preparation for the 7 topics we’ll be covering.  Pray. Commit to seeking God in prayer for what He desires to reveal to you.  Prepare. Prepare your mind to resist the temptation to think of how this material applies to your spouse.  Ask. Ask yourself, “What is the message in my marriage?” To your spouse, to your children, to the people who know you, and to those who don’t? God cares deeply about the message your marriage speaks to others. If you and your spouse commit to learning and walking in the 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage, you can experience the depth and satisfaction that God desires for you both. Chapter 1 The Powerful Habit of Choosing Kindness For The Wives By Lisa I was always so happy to see her. Whenever my friend dropped by – I dropped everything. Smiled and gave her a hug. Suggested that she stay awhile and made her a cup of tea. They were just little things, I know. But it was my way of saying “I care about you” and “you are dear to me”. Simple, small acts of kindness offered in friendship. My husband watched it all from the other room. I think I’d forgotten he was even home that day. Observing it all from his favorite chair. Then I noticed a rather melancholy look in his eyes. Sort of sad with a bit of regret. And so later I asked him about it. “What? What were you thinking while Susan was here?” He shrugged, but I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. I had to know. Please tell me. Even if hurts. He started out slowly, “I couldn’t help wishing. And wondering.” Yes….I urged impatiently. “Well, why you wouldn’t smile like that at me. You know, drop everything and give me a big hug when I walked through the door. Offer to make a pot of coffee. Things like that…things like you did for her.” He was right. And it did hurt. My husband – that man I love – was only looking for a little kindness. Small gestures of thoughtfulness. From me. His wife. You might say it was a turning point for us. Before that I considered kindness as something you “felt” toward someone – more like a sentimental impulse. I didn’t understand that it was something you could simply choose. And I certainly didn’t understand that this was something my husband needed from me. A Kind Wife Who… Smiles warmly. She lights up when she sees her man. He’s not old news or simply that familiar face. He’s the guy who lights up her world. Looks up lovingly. When he walks in the room Sure, she’s busy, but always has a