The 11 Rules of Persuasion: How to Master People's Emotions, Understand their Intrinsic Motivations and Convince them of Your Ideas Incl. NLP and Dark Psychology

90 Pages·2021·0.13 MB·english

by  Matthew Bennett

The 11 Rules of Persuasion

How to Master People's Emotions, Understand their Intrinsic
Motivations and Convince them of Your Ideas Incl. NLP and
Dark Psychology

Matthew Bennett
Copyright © [2021] [Matthew Bennett]

All rights reserved.

The author of this book owns the exclusive right to its content.
Any commercial usage or reproduction requires the clear consent of the author.

ISBN – 9798749805963
Table of Contents
Introduction to The Rules
Chapter One What Is “Persuasion?”
Chapter Two An Introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP
Chapter Three Rule One: Control Yourself First
Chapter Four Rule Two: Reciprocity Breeds Relationships
Chapter Five Rule Three: Generate Interest
Chapter Six Rule Four: Communication Is King
Chapter Seven Rule Five: Persuade, but Don’t Manipulate
Chapter Eight Rule Six: They Who Are Prepared and Confident Win
Chapter Nine Rule Seven: Play Hard to Get
Chapter Ten Rule Eight: Don’t Assume – Set Your Expectations
Chapter Eleven Rule Nine: Seeing Is Believing
Chapter Twelve Rule Ten: Be Ethical in Your Approach (How to avoid using “Dark
Psychology”)
Chapter Thirteen Rule Eleven: Commit, Don’t Quit
Chapter Fourteen What to Do with this Information
Chapter Sixteen That’s a Wrap
Disclaimer
Introduction to The Rules
Success. Money. Influence. We are not going to beat about the bush here – we
all want to be in control of our own goals, don’t we? Whether it is the sort of
control that lends itself to a life of quiet contentment – everything in its proper
place, no surprises – or the sort that leads you to the top of the ladder, the tip of
the mountain, we all want to be able to look at a situation and know that we have
the advantage. And a lot of these situations require influencing to make them
move in a direction that benefits us. Some are reliant on making sure a person
supports and pushes our ideas, some are about convincing that person our ideas
are the best way to go. That is where this book comes in.
In the following pages, I have identified and described what I call the Eleven
Rules of Persuasion. These rules are designed to be simple, easy-to-implement
guides and collected advice that you can use in your day to day to give yourself
every advantage possible in the fight to make yourself heard. In business
settings, in social settings, anywhere that you want to implement a way to
convince, persuade and get people on your side from the moment the
conversation with them starts.
What is this book? Well, to start you off on the right foot – it is not a quick
guide to making money, nor is it a way to try and manipulate people into doing
things they don’t want to or should not be doing. When I talk about convincing
and persuading, I mean winning people over to your side, making them see that
your ideas and your emotions are worth following and worth investing their time
into. I do not mean manipulating or coercing them, and there is a chapter later on
that focuses on just that. We are looking to build long term, lasting success in the
goals we set and the milestones we want to achieve, which means no shortcuts –
but it does not mean that there are no ways to make the road easier, which you
will also find as you are reading. It’s about striking a balance, setting yourself up
so that you are the centre of conversation and the centre of the action, but in such
a way that those things last for a long time, rather than just aiming for short term
wins. Sound good? I thought it might!
So where do we start? First, an introduction to the rules you will be
becoming familiar with throughout this book.
Rule One: Control Yourself First
Rule Two: Reciprocity Breeds Relationships
Rule Three: Generate Interest
Rule Four: Communication Is King
Rule Five: Persuade, but Don’t Manipulate
Rule Six: They Who Are Prepared and Confident Win
Rule Seven: Play Hard to Get
Rule Eight: Don’t Assume, Set Your Expectations
Rule Nine: Seeing Is Believing
Rule Ten: Be Ethical in Your Approach
Rule Eleven: Commit, Don’t Quit
Some of these may immediately seem like common sense, which is a very
good start if that is the case! Some of them may seem counter-intuitive, or
strange – that is good too; use that unfamiliarity to kick-start a charge into
learning and developing a new way of looking at how you can persuade people.
But these rules are the key to unlocking and understanding how you can do all
the things that made you want to pick up this book in the first place. You will get
a reminder of these rules in each of the chapters to follow, to make sure it lodges
in your brain somewhere. By all means, though, copy them out or write them out
in a place you can see to hammer them home. Pop them on a sticky note on your
workstation, or next to your mirror. You want to be able to visualise the entire
chapter of information and advice as soon as you see the rules, so in turn, you
can apply that knowledge immediately and effectively every single day.
Now you have got a taste for what is yet to come, I hope you are ready to
learn. Once again, I would like to reiterate - this is not a quick guide to making
people want to be your friend. If that is what you want, this is not the book for
you. Rather, it is an in-depth look at the reasons for, ways of and
implementations of the methods that will help you to achieve long term success
in persuading and convincing the people around you. We will also be looking at
two linked parts of psychology to help us understand how our mission will work
– Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and how to avoid using “Dark Psychology” to
get what you want.
So, with all that in mind, we will move onto the book proper. I will start with
a small introduction to the ideas of Persuasion and Neuro-Linguistic
Programming, and beyond that will explain and hopefully advise you on the 11
Rules of Persuasion which I have worked hard to bring to life. I hope you are
ready to dive in!
Chapter One
What Is “Persuasion?”
I would like to take a brief few pages to introduce a word that you will be seeing
a lot in this book, for good reason; persuasion is the art of changing someone’s
mind, of making them think in your way. Persuasion has many forms and many
more outcomes and it is up to us, throughout this book, to identify situations and
places where persuasion can be used to not only its best effect but also to its
most long-lasting and repeatable effect.
Human beings can be fickle and changeable and as such, we need to be able
to adapt and change too. Being prepared for anything the future may throw at us
is one thing but what if we were able to be so persuasive, that the person we are
persuading stays on our side for the long term rather than just for the short term?
What if we used persuasion to make powerful allies in all corners of life, able to
help us not only reach our goals but push ourselves to new heights too?
No, it is not too good to be true. It is the power that persuasion has.
Being able to read a person, to tell what makes them tick and what makes
them respond, is a key tool in the fight to persuade and convince. We are driven
by thoughts and emotions; it is what makes our very bodies get up in the
morning and do whatever it is we need to do. So, if we can better understand
those emotions and feelings, learn how to read and respond to them
appropriately? Well, we will start opening doors that you never thought might
open on the road to completing your goals.
So how does the concept of persuasion come into this? In our day to day
lives, be it through work or socialising or any form of interaction with another
person, we are constantly, even subconsciously, putting our ideas and emotions
out into the air for all to see. We do it without expressions, our body language;
we do it without words and our actions too. All of these things, all of our senses
too, make up a clear picture of who we are and what we want. Being able to read
these pictures and tell what it is that people want, or what will work with them?
We are basically unlocking the power to change minds, to get people on our
team and to make them see the value and merit of our ideas. That is powerful
stuff, I am sure you would agree! And it is useful too. You see, once we have the
measure of a person emotionally, we can use that information to play to their
feelings, to register on a similar wavelength to them. Once we can do that, our
own ideas suddenly become much more important to them, and their want to
help us only grows if we keep nourishing that connection and making them see
that those ideas are worth pursuing. Then, it is simply a case of making sure that
is pointed in the right direction. Need a pay raise? Then you might want to use
the information you find in this book to persuade your boss that is a good idea.
Struggling to understand where someone is coming from emotionally? You will
be able to read their picture better than before – and they will want to help you in
return.
Nothing in this book is illegal, or shady, or any of the other cheap tricks
some people might try and force on you in the name of “persuasion”. Some
people would have you believe that persuasion and manipulation are the same
things, but nothing could be further from the truth. Persuasion takes hard work,
effort, and most of all a willingness to change how you think and see and interact
with other people. Put simply – this book, used correctly, will change your life.
Read on to find out how.
Chapter Two
An Introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming,
or NLP
So, what is NLP? For the uninitiated – NLP stands for neuro-linguistic
programming, which is a fancy sort of way of saying that it is a series of
behavioural therapies based around shaping your own mental habits and external
communication. The idea was put together by Richard Bandler and John Grinder
in the 1970s and is shaped into three broad components: Subjectivity,
Consciousness and Learning, which I will break down here.
Subjectivity - Our sight, taste, smell, hearing and touch guide us in every
situation, and Bandler and Grinder proposed that these five senses were used to
create subjective representations of our lives – what I am going to refer to as
‘maps’ of our life from here on out. But everyone, not just you or me, are doing
this – creating subconscious and subjective representations of the world around
us. So, the most successful people have their own map, which we can use our
own senses to follow and adapt our behaviours to.
It is a little confusing at first, but think of it this way: