Taylor: A Magazine for Taylor University Alumni and Friends

44 Pages·1999·3.3 MB·English

by  Taylor University

SPRING 1999
i~^:
TaylorUniversity
The Taylor Family
Asyou listen to various people make reference to our life together, the most
common phrase usedis "The Taylor Family" Thiswas once common nomenclature
to describe groups ofpeople in manyenvironments even includingindustrial companies andtheir
workforce. In today's world, the term "family" is usedwith caution even when describing amarried couple
and theirchildren. Duringthe Carter administration a "White House Conference on the Family" concluded
thatto use thewordfamilyin this narrowwaywas "myopic and Umiting." We can understand atleastin part
the reasoning behindthis sensitivityto the rapid disintegration ofthe traditionalfamilyandthe manyadapta-
tions thatmodernityhas made to social reahties, including divorce, abuse, single parents, children born to
unmarriedwomen, teenage pregnancy same-sex marriages, adoption andeven clusters ofthe homeless
caringforeach other in abandoned buildings. In some sense, "family" can describe anyresponsible attempt
thatpeople make to care for each other
The unfortunate side ofour modem ethosis thatmanyhave foundtheword "family" itselfto be aword
too loadedwith pohtical overtones to use itatall. Management andlaborare devisedso adversariallythat to
callabusiness environment "family" is acynicaljoke to many Abuse has touched some in such adeep way
thattheydisplaybumperstickers that say "TheTraditional Familyis aPathology." Fearingto offend orlest
unattainable expectations are fostered, itis deemedprudent bymanyto avoidthe emotion-ladenterm
"family" atall.
AtTaylorwe fullyappreciatethe possibUitythatto celebrate aparentsweekend, agrandparents dayora
homecomingwe persistin the use ofthis much poUticizedword and referto theTaylorFamily
At Homecoming 96 1 referencedthe Robert Frostpoem, "Death ofthe Hired Man" and quotedthe hne,
"Home is the place thatwhenyou go there theyhave to takeyou in." This probablydescribes ouruse ofthe
term quitewell. AtTaylorwe learn to accept, appreciate, even celebrate the diversities thathave broughtus
together Some arefrom "traditional famihes," manyarefrom homes ofdisjuncture causedbypremature or
accidental death, some bydivorce, drugs, alcoholorotherinfluences outside our control. Some have been
"taken in" as in the case ofraciallydiverse students andfacultyorphaned bywar orproduced bythe
irresponsibihtiesthathave always resultedfrom occupying armies. We come from blue collar and affluent
homes. Some come from college graduate parents even stretching backseveral generations or, hke myself,
are the firstto receive a college degree. We are ofavarietyofraces andreUgious backgrounds, high church
and low church, sometimes athletic, sometimes studious, sometime neither, sometimes both, butwe all
arrive atTaylor
Forthosewho persist andfor thevastmajority, the Taylorexperience is a "family" experience. We are
"taken in," usuallyunderstood and often loved evenwhenwe are unable to receive itas fullyas itis offered.
This magazine is devoted to the varieties ofthe familyfoundatTaylorandpresentedwith thefond hope that
evenwherewe failwe determine to improve. But above all, not to lose thevision that allows us to longfor
"family" in the spirit thatJesus offeredwhen he said, "OurFather . . ." andmayitneverbe "myopic and
Umiting."
OfficeofthePresident
500WestReadeAvenue
XX /
Upland, Indiana46989-1001 FOf information Oil
765-998-5201 tlie Leadership
Fax: [phone]
Transition,
www.tayloru.edu
see page 23.
1
Taylor
v(-«.>r:iU4L OntheCOVER:Astained
glass window in the Rediger
Chapel/Auditoriumprovides
asymboliclookatthenature
of family and faith. This is-
volume 91, number 3 sue ofTaylor Magazine is
Spring 1999 dedicated to the family, both
the family of birth and the
familyofchoice.
i
TmxorUniversity
I
236WestReadeAvenue
Upland,IN46989-1001 2 Honoring the Family
[phone] 2 FaithfulnesstoAll Generations ...Afour-generationfamily
4 Soup'sOn! ... SoupHouseprovidesfamilyatmosphere
president:Dr JayKesler'58
provost:Dr,DarylYostHA'96 6 LineofDavid ... StudentssharestoriesoftheirJewishheritage
Fourgenerationfamily,p. 2 8 UntanglingtheTruth ... Alumnuscounselsabusesurvivors
Taylor;amagazinefortayloruniversityalumniand 10 NurturingYourChild... Wisdomforparentsofyoungchildren
FtRhIeEONfDfSic(eISoSfNUn1i0v7e3rs-i4t3y76R)eliastipounbisisCtoiepdynqgutairtte©rly19b9y9 1 MotivatingtheHearr...Practicaladviceforparentsofteeimgers
TaylorUniversity
12 Returning TO THE Roots OF Civil Rights
VICEPRESIDENTFORDEVELOPMENT:
GeneL,Rupp 58 January-term travelers who visitedseveralhistoricalsites ofCivil
RightsactivitiesintheSouthsharetheirthoughtsandexperiencesin
DIRECTOROFUNIVERSITYRELATIONS:
DonnaJ.Downs journalform.
editor:AmberL Anderson Faithheritageofstudents,p. 6 15 Lighthouse travelers pioneer new destination
GRAPHICSeditor:StovenChnslensen Sixteen Taylorstudents traveledto GhanaJor the first Lighthouse
ALUMNINOTESEDITOR:MartySonger78 trip tothisdestination.
PHOTOGRAPHYEDITOR:JinnGamnger
Profiles
ASSISTANTTOTHEEDITORS:AmaSmith'87 33 NelsonRedigercreateshisoivn Taylorlegacy
EDITORIALconsultants:ChrisLay,MaryAnn 34 SeniorBiancaLightbouniespendssemesterinHongKong
McDanlels,KarenRichards,JoyceWoodx'81
35 FourHartzlersistersbuilddeeperfriendshipsatTaylor
CONTRIBUTINGWRITERS:JimGarringer,G.Roselyn
Kerlin'55,LisaPaul'92,ArnaSmith'87,Dr 36 The Foundations of Taylor
StephenSnyder,DrCynthiaTyner Therootsofcivilrights,p. 12
STUDENTwriters:LindyBeam'99.YolandaDelevaux Newwebsiteallowsviewersto "click"into Taylorbuildingsand
'01,KellyFonfara'99,ChristyFreed'02,Janessa learntheirhistoryandcurrentuses.
Futrell'OI,SarahHinkle'02,KateJohnson'01,
Jat>JieceMcCraw'02.MichaelGrahamSchueler
'02,JeremieSolak'99,SarahSpinney'01,Allison
Stevens'00.LaTonyaTaylor'01.SaraWeinraub'00
SENDLETTERSTOTHEEDITORTO UniversityEditor.
TUapyllaonrd.UnIiNve4rs6i9t8y9.-2130601W,estReadeAvenue. 16 Academics
phone:[phone].Ext-5197 17 pAcum Upd,4TE
fax:[phone]
SistersmakeTaylorhome,p.35 18 FortW.wtveCampus
email:editor@tayloru,edu
SENDADDRESSCORRECTIONSTO:OfficeofAlumni 19 Upl\.ndCampis
Relations.236WestReadeAvenue,Upland.IN
46989-1001.orcall1 [phone],Ext,5115, 20 Athletics
VISITTAYLORONLINE:wvw.tayloruedu.
21 DEraLOPMENT
OPINIONSEXPRESSEDBYINDIVIDUALSINTHISPUBLICATION
DONOTNECESSARILYREFLECTTHEVIEWSOFTAYLOR 22 WlLLLWlT.«XORFonVDATION
UNIVERSmr.
23 LeadershipUpdate
BuiUingsofTaylor,p. 36 24 AlumniNotes
C%k^
y-f rtV
4
C:
J to ftro^ AAllll nG^ern^e,rations
'yourword, OXord, is eternal: itstandsfum in the heavens.
yourfaithfulness continues through allgenerations."'Psalm 119:89, 90a.
BJIisplayedprominently inArt andNelle Hodson's Marion, Ind., condominiumis a large wooden candlestick, formed
from wood salvaged from the oldMagee-Campbell-Wisconsin Dormitory, Nelle's home atTaylor. She treasures it as a
prizedpossession and eagerly shares memories ofherdormitory.
"Inthose days, the students were held inrigidtow," recalls Nelle '43. "One Saturday Iwas going shopping in
Marion, and a matron stopped me because I was in public without my gloves on. We couldn't even walk across campus
with a man afterdark. Social decorumwas very important."
Memories likethese tie Nelle toTaylor, butherconnection tothe University goesbeyondherown experiences.As
the daughter, motherand grandmother ofTaylor students, Nelle's tie toTayloris in the blood.
Nelle's father, Edwin Leisman, graduated fromTaylorin 1925. He passed his love forTayloron to his daughter,
NelleAlspaugh Hodson, the matriarch ofthe family, who in turnpassedtheTaylorgene on to herson, James "Mike"
Alspaugh '78, and hergrandson, Shawn, now afreshman.
TheTaylorUniversity from which Edwin Leismangraduated looked very differentthan the one fromwhich his
great-grandson will graduate. Though few ofthe currentbuildings existed, the spiritoffamily thatalways has defined
Taylorwas present.
Leisman came toTaylor as ahigh school student to finish his secondary degree atTaylor's "academy" before going
onto complete abachelor's degree. Farfrom home, Leismanfound a refuge atTaylor. "He liked the family atmosphere,"
saysHodson. "AtTaylor, you are taken in and you are part ofit."
Leisman, who became aBaptistminister, encouragedhis family tobecome part oftheTaylorfamily. His younger
MmmAxLA^
OafjAji£j[JLJ^
brother, Milton, graduated in 1926. Keeping the family
tradition, Nelle easily made the decision to attendTaylor.
"Growing up in my family, you always knew that when it
was time forcollege, it would be Taylor," says Nelle. She
wasn't disappointed with herdecision.
Lookingbackoverthe years, Nelle, who has lived near
the University formost ofher life, observed many changes at
Taylor, but is impressed with the University's ability to
maintain aconsistentmission.
"The spiritual commitment has remainedthe same," Nelle
says. "The clubs have changed, but the mission has not. There
are deeply committed people atTaylor. That is why we want
ourgrandson to grow up in that atmosphere."
Social restrictions during the 1920s may have made Nelle
wearhergloves, but they didn't preventherfrom meeting and
marrying herfirst husband, JamesAlspaugh "39. AfterWorld
War II, theAlspaughs settled in Upland.
"Theplan was to stay forjustone year," laughs Nelle.
"But we neverleft. We fell in love with the town."
TheAlspaughs had one son, Mike, who followedhis
parents' footsteps and graduated fromTaylorin 1978. Mike
now teaches in South Bend, Ind. His wife, Carole (Akers)
Alspaugh, also is a 1978 graduate.
"They were seated alphabetically," explains Nelle. "I
guess the two scared freshmen found solace in each other."
Afterherhusband's death in 1983, Nelle remained in
Upland andeventually marriedArtHodson x'34, a longtime
0^
friendofTaylorUniversity and aretired bankerfrom Grant 197"^
County. Once again, theTaylorconnection made decision-
making easierforNelle.
"The commonalties ofthe University andourvalues are
what ledus to marry afew years ago," says Nelle. Art and
Nelle were married at the prayerchapel onTaylor's campus,
with Dr. Jay Keslerpresiding.
The wedding and reception locations offeredthe couple a
unique opportunity to blend theirpasts with theirfuture. In the
prayerchapel, where the wedding ceremony was performed,
hangs aplaque listing Nelle's first husband, JamesAlspaugh,
as acontributorto the building. The Dining Commons where
the reception was held is named forArt and his first wife,
Mary, who died in January of 1996.
Nelle's grandson Shawnattendedhis grandmother's
weddingatTaylorandreturnedto thecampus afew years later
as astudent. Both Nelle andShawn admitthataTaylor
education was promoted shamelessly in theirfamily, but Shawn
isquick to notethat the decision tocome toTaylorwashis own.
"I chose Taylorbecause I wanted to step up my faith,"
says Shawn.Aresident ofGerig Hall, he is discovering the
same family atmosphere his great-grandfather, grandmother
and fatherfound.
Nelle smiles as she talks about hergrandson's decision to
attendTaylor. "We are proud that we are a four-generation
family, and that they came toTayloron their own," she says.
With Shawn's first yearatTaylornearing completion,
Nelle can now turnherattention to the nexttaskat hand,
convincing hersecond grandson, Matthew, to follow in the
family footsteps whenhegraduates from high school in 2000.
-AmberAnderson
While it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it Indian tea made from milk, tea, cardamom and cinnamon.
could be a lot offun living in a village," Fred Johnson "96 The residents host dinners throughout the year in which
remarks, laughing. "God gave us each other to work with several Taylor faculty and staff, as well as speakers visiting
andbe with. It's not right to go and be offon yourown the University, can enjoy food and fellowship.
forever, and working together with people has a lot of "A night at the house might include a numberof
rewards. This is a place where the idea is to gathertogether people sitting around doing their work while someone
and learn to live together." makes tea, orafull-blown deal where people are sitting up
Ifthere was a fun village community on Taylor's all night talking and watching movies," senior resident
campus, it undoubtedly would be the International Soup Mark Bane says. "One thing that is consistent is that it's a
House, a residence which has formed into a haven for little bit like 'Cheer's' without the alcohol. No matterwhat
missionary kids (MK's) from Africa, visitors from South kind ofday you've had, and even ifyou've neverbeen
America, and even girls living in Olson Hall originally here before, you are made to feel more welcome here than
from Michigan. In other words, the you would anywhere else."
Soup House is foreveryone. It This January, JeffRamsdale, a 1994
MK
started in 1990, when six male Taylor graduate and from Peru,
international students decided it brought an extraelement ofculture into the
was less expensive, and more house by hosting the SecondAnnual Soup
exciting, to live off-campus. For House Film Festival, where movies were
three years, the Soup House was shown every Wednesday and Saturday
located on First Street, where it night- for a month.
gained several regularvisitors and "The idea is to expose people to
put together a mission statement. foreign orclassic films that they wouldn't
In 1993 it moved to its current normally rent," says Ramsdale. "The Soup
location, behind Swallow Robin House works well forthe filmfest because
Hall, at the corner ofSecond and Wright Streets. we can spark interesting discussions from a variety of
According to the Soup House web site, maintained by individuals who take the conversation different directions
alumnus Tim Young '94, the mission ofthe house is, "to and offercommentary, and that makes it fun."
provide a place ofcomfort and social interaction forthe He continues, "The Soup House attracts the kindof
international student body in particular, though the whole person who is involved in foreign interests, foreign
ofTaylor is welcome ... it exists to provide a home for cultures and art. They are often a little more philosophical
those who have none in the area." in their approach to life, and a little less mainstream."
The eclectic atmosphere ofthe house adds to its The residents ofthe house also areknown forthrow-
homey feeling. When entering the large living room, a ing unique parties, in which the dress, lighting and even
collection ofmismatched couches is seen, arranged on top the food, coordinate with the evening's theme.
oforiental rugs, rolled overdark wood floors. The ceilings "Theblue party was themed aroundthe colorblue.
are high and old-fashioned; the woodwork detailed. On They put blue cloth overthe lamps that cast colored light
some nights, students sit under warm lights, reading and overeverything. They also had blue Jell-0 and cookies,"
studying. Other nights arelivelier, often including movies Bane said.
and group dinners. The sense ofcommunity offered from living or
Foreign foods, rangingfrom Indian toAfrican, often spending time at the Soup House is part ofthe ambiance of
are made in the kitchen, along with chai, a traditional the place. Finding an environment where you are listened
4 TAYLOR Spring 1999
to and genuinely made to feel at home is
essential. Since many students who make
up the house come toTaylordirectly from
othercountries, it is often difficult
making the cultural transition. The Soup House provides a family environment away from home.
Junior Heather Powell spent time at various spots overseas before living in Cote d'lvoire. West Africa, during high
school. "Coming to Taylor after not spending some ofthe most important social developmental years ofmy life in
America. I had absolutely no idea how people interacted here. All I knew was what my friends were doing in Cote
d'lvoire." says Powell. "The Soup House is a place where I feel much more comfortable and able to be myself. I have a
hard time meeting people; but ifI come here. I feel like this is my own place, that I can be confident here. This is where
I belong."
MK
Dave Frank, a "98 graduate fromTaylor, also an from Cote d'lvoire. says the community offered at the Soup
House, "was what let me belong. Not by the way I dressed or the way I looked, but by what I have to offer."
According to Young. "The result ofthe Soup House philosophy is that people learn to grow up. they learn to take
responsibility when it is needed, they learn how to love through friendship. Whenever one needs someone to talk to. the
Soup House always has someone with a willing ear. Whenever one is homesick, [s]he can always go to the Soup House
and whip up some food from his orherpart ofthe world, and find people willing to eat it with gusto and thanksgiving."
Mu Kappa, the organization forMK's and international students, is strongly connected to the house, where the
group's meetings often are held. The house also is where Mu Kappamembers meet before leaving campus for a camp-
ing trip or other annual events held overJ-term orfall breaks.
MK
According to andresident Dave Plate "99, "Althoughthe Soup House shouldn't be lifted upto some superhigh
standard, Ithinkitisaspecial place.As forMu Kappa, it's really goodbecausethe organizationhasalottoaddtoTaylor."
AfterformerMu Kappa members, ex-residents or friends who spent time at the Soup House graduate. Homecoming
weekend becomes an opportunity to reunite with Soup House friends.
"I didn't really understand the role that the house had until I
moved in and began hving here. Homecoming was a real revelation to
me. So many people were here, so many who had lived orhung out
here, andhad all gone their separate ways but converged forone
weekend," Bane said.
"The Soup House belongs tojust about everybody," said Bane.
"It's notjust anotherhouse where people live one year, and others
move in the next. Everything builds on what has come before."
-Sara Weinraub '00
MattGibson '00. DavePlate '99andEricGoddard 99.
allMK's, areSoupHouseresidentswhoappreciatethe
home'sculturalatmosphere.
Spring 1999 TA'iXOR 3
—
Imagineknowing yourfamily tree went back Bar Mitzvah —a ceremony initiatingJewish boys
toAbraham, and you and yourdescendents had into manhood and wearing a prayershawl and
been waiting4,000 years forthe coming Messiah. yarmulke. Though Ressler's father incorporated
Then, in the 20th century, you discoverthat Jesus Eastern world religions into his faith before he
Christ, who walked in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago, became abelieverin Christ, Ressler knew himself
was the Messiah for which your people had been to be ethnically Jewish.
waiting. This Christ is responsible for fulfilling the Ressler's mothercontinued to celebrate some
Judaism ofthe fathers offourTaylor students of ofthe Jewish religious days such as Passover and
Jewish heritage. Hanukkah with Louis and otherJewish families.
Being ofJewish descent has enriched the life "We would celebrate Hanukkah," he said. "Had she
ofjuniorLouis Ressler. Ressler's father, who was not done those things, I may neverhave considered
bom to Jewish parents, died when Louis was a little my Jewish heritage, but because she did, it imparted
overthree years old. Unbeknownst to Resslerand my heritage to me."
his mother, members oftheWillow CreekChurch Because ofhis father's heritage andhis
in Chicago w—itnessed to his father while he was in mother's desire to honor it, Ressler said, "It has
the hospital where he accepted Jesus as his been a sizable aspect ofmy life, especially since I
Savior. grew up in an area where there were a lot ofJews."
While in the hospital, Ressler's fathertold According to Ressler, a person isn't considered
members ofthe Willow Creek Church that he Jewish unless his orhermother is Jewish, but
wantedhis wife and son to become Christians too. having aJewish fathergave his Jewish peers an
But the family did not learn ofthis until afterhis added respect forhim.
death. Ressler said that afterhis fatherdied, his Ressler and his motherbecame Christians
motherwenton a spiritual search. several years later. He became abelieverat a
He does not have many specific memories of Willow Creek Church camp when he was about 10
his father, but he does have acassette tape ofhis years old.
father talking to him when he was young. Ressler Judaism also has played a significant role in the
also remembers a picture ofhis fathercelebrating life ofRachael Lieberman '00, whose father was
Ben '99andRebekahEisnerweremarriedunderatraditionalJewishHoopah, acanopywhichrepresentsGod'scovering
oftheHolySpirit. ThesonofaJewishfather, BenisthankfulforhisJewishheritage.
6 TAYLOR Spring 1999
bom again in his late twenties. He spoke in chapel last said. "Jesus was a full practicing Jew. Alot ofpeople don't
spring, where he shared abouthis background and ministry see Him—that way, but He was. Jesus came to fulfill
to the Jewish people. Judaism and he never referred to believers as Chris-
Lieberman shared that her father always has a written tians. We can take things from Judaism that can enhance
testimony ofhis conversion, which includesJesus' fulfill- ourrelationship with God."
ing his Judaism as the prophesied Messiah. She's amazed Junior SaraWeinraub's father also is aMessianic Jew.
at how many people herfatherknows, and how easily he He married Weinraub's mother, but they were divorced.
starts aconversation. Afterthe divorce, he was invited to a Bible study. At first
Lieberman's heritage has enhanced herunderstanding he was hesitant, but six months laterhe became a believer.
ofthe Bible. "When I'm reading aboutJesus" ministry on Herfather's conversion caused a rift in the family as
earth ... I feel like I have ... a greaterduty to ministerto the Weinraub's Jewish grandfather stmggled to accepthis
Jewish community," she said. son's beliefin the Messiah.
She also believes the Jewish festivals help herto His conversion did help mend one relationship,
understand more about the nature ofGod and his relation- however. Weinraub's parents remarried afterbecoming
ship with his people. believers; she was bom after theirremarriage.
Lieberman sometimes is afraid people will misunder- This summerherparents visited her in San Francisco,
stand Jewish believers (a Messianic Jew is a Jewish person where she intemed at the Jews forJesus world headquar-
by descent who believes Jesus Christ is the Messiah). She ters. "My father says I have the best ofboth worlds," said
saidthattherecan be misconceptions aboutMessianicJews, Weinraub.
"even though we have Jewish "I don't feel that because
blood... wecanstillgotochurch ''Jesus was a full prac- my father is a Messianic Jew I
and be Christians. We still be- am any more keen on inter-
A
lieve in things [other Christians ticing Jew. lot of preting the Bible, or anything
do], but wejust have adifferent people don't see Him else, more than the average
background." Christian," Weinraub added.
Senior Ben Eisner, the that way, but He was. "But it can be said that when
ownerofTheJumpingBeancof- Israel is hit with a bomb, I
fee shoponcampus, wasableto Jesus came to fulfill feel it inside and thank God
incorporate his Jewish heritage He has allowed me to live in
into his 1996 wedding with his Judaism...'' America. Or when I hearthe
wife, Rebekah. The Eisners statistic that only about
brought many Jewish traditions into their ceremony. They 65,000 out of 13,000,000 Jews believe thatY'shua (Jesus)
had a Hoopah (a canopy) over them, an idea which in part is their Messiah, it hurts. And I guess I've decided that I
comes from Psalm 91.—The Hoopah has fourcomers to rep- wantto help. Being halfJewish, working with Jews for
resent God's covering the Holy Spirit. Jesus oran organization like it, is where I feel pulled
The Yichud. aten to fifteen minute period ofseclusion toward in missions. Maybe that's my reasonable service."
afterthe ceremony where the bride and groom consider Though Weinraub's family, the Eisners, Resslers and
theirvows together, was another tradition that was part of Liebermans were not Orthodox Jews (those who devoutly
—
the wedding a time of"privacy and peace before the practice many ofthe original customs and traditions), all
public celebration," Eisner said. four said theirfamilies still have a high regard fortheir
Eisner adds, "Rebekah is the Gentile and I'm the Jew, Jewish heritage.
and we came together as one. It was a real picture ofthe Ressler asks people to give pause to considerthe
church and how God wants it to be someday. Our wedding Jewish people who are not believers and how that affects
was symbolic." the Church's ministry.
Eisner's fatherbecame aChristian abo—ut 25 years ago Ressler added, "I think the Church needs t—o focus
during the "Jesus Movement" ofthe '70s a Messianic more energy on ministry to the Jewish people based on
Jew led himto the Lord. "That time was exploding with a renewed cognizance that the Jewish people were the
Jews becoming Christians," Eisner said. chosen people ofGod and the primary recipients ofthat
His father's Jewish heritage was passed down to Ben blessing."
and has shaped some ofhis appreciation forJudaism, For fourTaylor students and their families, God's
especially in context with his faith in Christ. blessings seem especially great as they considertheir
"Jesus was a Jew. They called him 'Rabbi,'" Eisner Jewish heritage and Christian fahh.-Jeremie Solak '99
Spring 1999 TA"il,OR 7
IM
t^
Truth
^^^ elevision commercials and This decision altered her careerpath. breaking the silence about abuse
I magazine advertisements ol'ten Now. more than 25 years later. can help survivors along the path
^^epict the family as an idyllic Langberg specializes in counseling to healing. "To speak the truth to
unit where each member is protected, adult survivors ofsexual abuse: she someone ... is the beginning of
supported and nurtured. Outside the also works with Christian leaders freedom," she says. "Sexual abuse
world ofadvertising, however, many who have experienced some type of wounds, and wounds that are
families struggle with dark secrets trauma or life crisis, which may denied oruntended don"t heal. For
that lie hiddenjust beneath the include anything fri)m being a sexual someone to say. "I have been
surface. offender to being kidnapped on the sexually abused: this is what
Statistics suggest that one in four mission field. happenedtome." is the beginning."
girls and one in si,\ boys are victims According to Langberg.
ofsexual abuse. Often this abuse healing from sexual abuse is a
comes at the hands ofa relative, process ofseparating the truth
making the family a combat zone from lies. "A lot ofthe work I do
rather than a place ofcomfort. It is with survivors is very intricate
into this battlefield that Diane Mandl work. It's like taking a ball of
Langberg. Ph.D.. a 1970Taylor twine that got put togetherall
graduate and professional psycholo- l\\isled up and trying to tease
gist practicing in the Philadelphia apart the strings, to separate the
area, enters in hopes ofbringing truth from the lies," she says.
healing to victims. Determining the truth is
When Langberg entered the important because sexual abuse
professional world, se.xual abuse was teaches victims lies about them-
ataboo topic, even among counselors selves and others.
and psychologists. As the only woman As she works with adults who
on staffat a Christian counseling were abused as children, she helps
center, she was requested as a them to see that in the horrific
counselor by many female clients. moments that they were abused,
After hearing numerous accounts of they were deceived into believing
childhood abuse. Langberg asked her such lies as, "I caused this abuse,"
supervisor for advice on counseling For abuse survivors, Langberg "the abuse happened because I am
these women. takes a two-point approach to coun- a terrible person," or"the abuse
"He told me that women some- seling, and offers the same advice to means that I am trash; this would
times tell hysterical stories and that it ministers and counselors who work not have happened ifI were worth
was myjob not to get hooked by with victims ofsexual abuse. "First, something."As victims come to
them."" Langberg recalls. She sensed give them credibility," she says. recognize these lies. Langberg
truth in the women's stories, and "Believe them. Second, give them the begins the process of"teasing
determined to learn how to help these respect ofreally listening when they apart the strings"' to separate truth
women. ""1 told my clients that I didn't need to talk." from falsehood.
know anything about sexual abuse, Those struggling with memories Langberg, who also has
but I was willing to learn from them ofsexual abuse can take hope in published two books on the topic
and to help them in any way I could." Langberg's encouraging message: ofcounseling victims ofsexual
8 TAYLOR Spring 1999