Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist: Five Mindful Practices to Silence Negative Self-Talk

178 Pages·2018·1.5 MB·English

by  Cynthia Kane

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Change Your Words, Change Your World N

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TA L K T O
There are hundreds of books, workshops, and classes that teach us how
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to communicate effectively with others, but very few of us pay attention to
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how we speak to ourselves.
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Best-selling author and communication expert Cynthia Kane believes YO U R S E L F
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this is a problem, and she is sounding the alarm! Kane writes that there is
an unreported epidemic of negative self-talk in our culture today.
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Many of us speak to ourselves in demeaning and hurtful ways, using
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language we would never use with anyone else. To make matters worse, we
L I K E A

often don’t even realize when we are doing this, as these old mental tapes Y
play in repeating loops without our awareness.
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In Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist, certifi ed mindfulness and meditation
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instructor Cynthia Kane introduces the Middle Path of Self-Communica-
B U D D H I S T
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tion, which consists of fi ve mindful practices—Listen, Explore, Question,
Release, and Balance—all of which are grounded in Buddhist principles. S
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This book will show you how to: L
• Identify and release the judgments that are F Five Mindful Practices
poisoning your self-communication
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I ttoo SSiilleennccee NNeeggaattiivvee SSeellff--TTaallkk
• Practice a system of balanced internal
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communication based on truth and compassion
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Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist teaches you how to turn off the enemy A
in your mind—and create a new relationship with yourself and the world
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around you—simply by noticing, investigating, and changing the words you
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use to speak to yourself.
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Cynthia Kane received her MFA from Sarah Lawrence College. Her work D
has appeared in numerous publications, including the Washington Post, H
BBC Travel, and Yoga Journal. She lives in Washington, DC and offers
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workshops and private programs. Visit her at www.cynthiakane.com. S
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CCYYNNTTHHIIAA KKAANNEE
$16.95
Author of How to Communicate Like a Buddhist
978193828970551695_Kane_TalkLikeBuddhist_V2.indd 1 2/15/18 9:28 AM
Praise for Cynthia Kane’s previous book,
How to Communicate
Like a Buddhist
“Engaging, clear, practical, honest and wise, Cynthia
Kane has done a wonderful job illuminating for us a
wise path for enhancing communication and relation-
ships in daily life. Start with the people you’re most in
touch with and just imagine the ripple effects.”
— Elisha Goldstein, PhD.
Co-founder of The Center for Mindful Living &
author of Uncovering Happiness
“Well-organized, easy to digest, and overflowing with
nuggets of wisdom.”
— Sasha Tozzi,
writer, holistic recovery coach & humanitarian
Praise for Cynthia Kane
from former students
“I have noticed numerous changes. The biggest is that
more often than not, I am able to pause before thinking
and consciously evaluate what I am going to say before
I say it! That is a huge deal! In my communication
with others, I am also much more aware of when
they are responding with default reactions and when
they are speaking consciously. I can use these opportu-
nities as learning experiences for my own behavior.”
— Maria J.
“Awareness changes everything. I became aware of
how my emotions and communication are intertwined.
Good communication = good emotional health.”
— Luke S.
“Cynthia’s practices have helped me in several ways.
I am more confident in my interactions. I have fewer
judgments. I am more present in my conversations. I
am more patient and tolerant of others. I think more
before I speak. I am more silent in conversations and
allow others to finish speaking before I talk. I am in a
better mood when I speak to people.”
— Colleen R.
“I was diagnosed with PTSD from my past military
service. Now I have the tools to help myself, to feel
better about who I am, and to suffer less.”
— Misty K.
“I really feel like this content is life-changing for any-
one who takes it to heart and puts it into practice. I
thought all of the material was very clearly presented
with examples and I knew how to apply it in my life
right away.”
— Matt M.
“The course was life-changing for me. . . The practices
Cynthia taught us are so simple yet powerful and easy
to integrate into daily life.”
— Oliver K.
“I found the information so very relevant and helpful.
With these practices, I will always keep discovering
and reaping the benefits.”
— Ben S.
“Cynthia’s practices are such a valuable tool for me.
Thank you so much for sharing these gems.”
— Carol F.
“I am much more confident in all my interactions. My
social anxiety is practically gone! People are opening
up to me more and my connections with a wide range
of people are growing. I am also getting clearer about
my needs and expressing them more effectively.”
— Barbara G.
“Well-thought out and not too complicated. It’s easy
to incorporate the exercises into daily life without
too much effort. Results come easily with Cynthia’s
system.”
— Helena B.
Talk to
Yourself
Like a
Buddhist

TA L K T O
YO U R S E L F
L I K E A
B U D D H I S T
Five Mindful Practices
to Silence Negative Self-Talk
CYNTHIA KANE
Copyright © 2018
by Cynthia Kane
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this
work in any form whatsoever, without permission in writing
from the publisher, except for brief passages in connection
with a review.
Cover design by Emma Smith
Cover art by Steinar || Shutterstock
Interior Design by Steve Amarillo
Hierophant Publishing
8301 Broadway, Suite 219
San Antonio, TX 78209
888-800-4240
www.hierophantpublishing.com
If you are unable to order this book from your local
bookseller, you may order directly from the publisher.
Library of Congress Control Number:
2017964300
ISBN: 978-1-938289-70-5
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed on acid-free paper in United States of America
Table of Contents
Introduction 1
CHAPTER 1
What Is Negative Self-Talk and
How Does It Manifest in Our Lives? 11
CHAPTER 2
Judgment: The Accomplice
of Negative Self-Talk 29
CHAPTER 3
The Middle Path of
Self-Communication Overview 49
CHAPTER 4
The Practice of Listening 55
CHAPTER 5
The Practice of Exploration 69
CHAPTER 6
The Practice of Questioning 91
CHAPTER 7
The Practice of Releasing 109