Tales for Coaching: Using Stories and Metaphors with Individuals and Small Groups

225 Pages·2010·1.11 MB·English

by  Margaret Parkin

Tales for
CoaCHING

Tales for
CoaCHING
Using stories and metaphors
with individuals and
small groups
Margaret Parkin
Publisher’s note
Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in this
book is accurate at the time of going to press, and the publishers and author cannot
accept responsibility for any errors or omissions, however caused. No responsibility
for loss or damage occasioned to any person acting, or refraining from action, as a
result of the material in this publication can be accepted by the editor, the publisher or
the author.
First published in Great Britain by Kogan Page Limited in 2001
This edition 2010
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism
or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publi-
cation may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic
reproduction in accordance with the terms and licences issued by the CLA. Enquiries
concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent to the publishers at the
undermentioned addresses:
120 Pentonville Road 525 South 4th Street, #241 4737/23 Ansari Road
London N1 9JN Philadelphia PA 19147 Daryaganj
United Kingdom USA New Delhi 110002
www.koganpage.com India
© Margaret Parkin and named authors, 2001, 2010
The right of Margaret Parkin and the named authors to be identified as the authors of
this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act 1988.
ISBN 978 0 7494 6101 0
E-ISBN 978 0 7494 6102 7
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Parkin, Margaret.
Tales for coaching : using stories and metaphors with individuals and small groups
/ Margaret Parkin.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-7494-6101-0 -- ISBN 978-0-7494-6102-7 (e-bk) 1. Personal coaching.
2. Positive psychology 3. Change (Psychology) 4. Storytelling. I. Title.
BF637.P36P37 2010
158’.3--dc22
2020020215
Typeset by Jean Cussons Typesetting, Diss, Norfolk
Printed and bound in India by Replika Press Pvt Ltd
Contents
Introduction 1
Part 1: Are You Sitting Comfortably? 5
1. Introducing Storytelling 7
The Story Begins 7; How Do Stories Work? 12; Stories and
Unconscious Learning 19
2. Coaching and Storytelling 23
Coaching – The Story So Far 23; The Purpose and Benefits
of Coaching 24; The Modern-Day Coach 30; Storytelling
as a Coaching Tool 32
3. Finding and Using Stories in Coaching 37
Finding Stories 37; Using Storytelling Activities in
Coaching 44
4. Telling the Tale 53
‘Cric! Crac!’ –Making the Connection 53; The Storyteller’s
Perspective 55; The Listener’s Point of View 58; Telling
the Story 62
Part 2: Then I’ll Begin… 69
The Tales 71
How to Use the Tales 71
Envisioning and Goal Setting 75
‘So, What Do You Want To Achieve? 75
1. Midas and the Golden Touch 77
vi  Contents
2. Look Before You Leap 79
3. The Star Thrower 81
4. The Wise Fisherman 83
5. Let There be Light 86
6. The Spider 88
7. Arrows 90
8. In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting 92
9. Golf Story 96
10. The Ignorant Thief 99
Problem Solving 101
‘How Are You Going To Achieve It? 101
11. The Gordian Knot 103
12. Tiger Teaching 105
13. The Prophet – on Talking 107
14. Edison and the Light Bulb 109
15. It’s Easy 111
16. Pandora’s Box 114
17. The Devil’s Toolbox 116
18. Alice and the Croquet Ground 118
19. Look After the Pennies 120
20. David and Goliath 122
Reframing and Creativity 125
‘Let’s Look At This Another Way…’ 125
21. The Grand Canyon Story 127
22. Sour Grapes 129
23. Making a Spectacle 131
24. Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby 133
25. Belling the Cat 136
26. Two Caterpillars 138
27. Changing Course 140
28. Cable Cars 142
29. Trip to Vesuvius 145
30. Style 147
Empowerment 149
‘You Can Do It!’ 149
31. Not Ham Again! 151
32. The Choice Is Yours 153
33. The Processionary Caterpillars 156
Contents  vii
34. The Elephant Story 158
35. Sticking to the Rules 160
36. Stamp Out Creativity! 162
37. Empowerment Involves Risk 164
38. The Four-Minute Mile 166
39. Seeing Through the Glasses 168
40. Walls 171
Success and Self-Esteem 173
‘I Told You That You Could Do It!’ 173
41. I Like Your Socks! 175
42. KNC Consulting 177
43. The Ugly Duckling 181
44. Did You Pass? 185
45. The Acorn Principle 187
46. The Hidden Gold 190
47. EnorMouse Moves On 192
48. Red Necks 194
49. The Firemen’s Rule 197
50. A Final Note… 199
References and Further Reading 201
Useful Addresses and Contacts 205
Index 209

Introduction
Are you a storyteller? The chances are you’ll reply ‘Who me? Certainly
not’, having in your mind a picture of some strange mediaeval creature
prancing around in cap, motley and bells, or possibly of a favourite
comedian or raconteur, spitting out well-rehearsed and scripted lines
at the speed of light. You might even think of the word ‘storyteller’ in
a derogatory way, as someone who is prone to exaggeration or being
economical with the truth. Even dictionaries list ‘storyteller’ as synony-
mous with ‘liar’.
The fact is, if you are involved in coaching, instructing, mentoring or
educating other people, with a view to helping them achieve optimum
performance, and if your aim is to do this in a way that is stimulating
and memorable, then the chances are that you are incorporating some
of the skills that the original storytellers crafted centuries ago: educat-
ing and entertaining their listeners, painting verbal pictures to enhance
memory, using metaphor and analogy to add colour, and passing on
cumulative wisdom.
If you can relate to some or all of these amazing skills then you’re in
good company – Aesop, Jesus Christ, William Shakespeare and Hans
Christian Andersen amongst others – and the purpose of this book is
to help you to develop these skills even further, to bring them up to
date within a modern business context, and to show how storytelling
can be used in a powerful way to enhance one-to-one or small-group
coaching.
Some of you may have read my first book, Tales for Trainers. Its
focus is how to use stories and metaphors to facilitate learning in a
group training context. Shortly after it was published, a woman came
up to me at a conference, clutching a copy to her chest, and said, ‘I
bought your book for our training department,’ and then added with a