Surviving your adolescents : How to manage and let go of your 13-18 year olds PDF
Preview Surviving your adolescents : How to manage and let go of your 13-18 year olds
Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Introduction Part I - A Different Planet Chapter 1 - Adolescence in America Prolonged Dependence Insult Chapter 2 - What Is Normal? Change Weirdness Distance Peers Inexperience Self-Consciousness Risk-Taking Variation Among Teens Chapter 3 - Is It Serious? Objectivity: The “Nine-and-One” Rule What Child Is This? Your Teens Have Their MBAs! Other MBAs What Are Not MBAs? Part II - Communication and Safety Chapter 4 - Risky Business On the Road Drugs and Alcohol Sex Communication and Safety Chapter 5 - The Four Cardinal Sins Ouch! 1. Spontaneous Problem Discussions 2. Nagging 3. Insight Transplants 4. Arguing Chapter 6 - Getting Along Active Listening Openers Questions Reflecting Feelings Checks or Summaries Talking about Yourself Shared Fun No problems! One-on-one is better Consistency No martyrdom allowed The sure thing (?) Positive Reinforcement How Well Do You Get Along? Where Do You Start? Part III - Problems! Chapter 7 - Midlife Parent How Are You Doing? Dreamer Meets Disillusioned Emotional Dumping War! What to Do Pass the Buck? Maybe Chapter 8 - Understanding Your Job Four Possible Roles 1. All in all, how well is your child functioning? 2. How good is your relationship? 3. How serious is the problem? Getting Mixed Up Chapter 9 - Observer The Awful Scale Chapter 10 - Advisor Do Something Weird! Chapter 11 - Negotiator 1. Agree to negotiate 2. Pick a good place and time to talk 3. Define the problem clearly to start with 4. Let’s make a deal Chapter 12 - Director I: The Major/Minor System The Major/Minor System Negotiating the Major/Minor System Chapter 13 - Director II: Evaluation and Counselling Anxiety Disorders Depression Attention Deficit Disorder Conduct Disorder Eating Disorders DivorceRelated Problems Sexual Abuse Finding a Therapist Not Living Together Chapter 14 - Managing Risk Taking Driving: Prevention Driving: Trouble Drugs and Alcohol: Prevention Drugs and Alcohol: Trouble Sexual Activity: Prevention Sexual Activity: Trouble Part IV - Emotional Blackmail Chapter 15 - Testing and Manipulation Behavior with a Purpose Tactic 1: Badgering Tactic 2: intimidation (Temper) Tactic 3: Threat Tactic 4: Martyrdom Tactic 5: Butter Up Tactic 6: Physical Chapter 16 - Managing Testing and Manipulation Important Basic Principles Testing and Manipulation by Parents The ‘Guilt vs. Anger’ Problem Managing Testing and Manipulation Part V - House Rules Chapter 17 - Guidelines for Specific Problems Arguing Bedtime Bumming around town Car: care, use, gas Chores Church Appearance College plans Depression Family outings Friends and dating Grades and homework Grammar Hours Music Meals and eating habits Messy rooms Money, allowance, loans Negative attitude Parties: home and away Phone Sibling rivalry Smoking Swearing Behavioral trouble at school Using your things Vacations: kids stay home Work Chapter 18 - SYA in Action Part VI - The Future Chapter 19 - Ten Years from Now Straight Thinning Get Ready for the Future! Index Copyright © 1998, PARENTMAGIC, INC. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Any resemblance between persons described, in this book and actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional. This book. is not intended to replace appropriate treatment, when indicated, by a qualified mental health professional. Cover copy by Brett Jay Markel Illustrations by Margaret Mayer Distributed by Independent Publishers Group Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 For more information, contact: ParentMagic, Inc. 800 Roosevelt Road, B309 Glen Ellyn, Illinois 60137 Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publiction (Provided by Quality Books, Inc) Phelan, Thomas W., 1943- Surviving your adolescents /Thomas W. Phelan. --2nd ed. p. cm. ISBN: 1-889140-08-2 1. Parent and teenager. 2. Parenting. 3. Child rearing. I. Title. HQ799.15.P44 1998 649’. 125 QB198-614
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