Supporting Women After Domestic Violence: Loss, Trauma and Recovery

160 Pages·2007·3.08 MB·English

by  Hilary Abrahams

Supporting Women after Domestic Violence
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Supporting Women after
Domestic Violence
Loss, Trauma and Recovery
Hilary Abrahams
Foreword by Cathy Humphreys
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
First published in 2007
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
116 Pentonville Road
London N1 9JB, UK
and
400 Market Street, Suite 400
Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright © Hilary Abrahams 2007
Foreword copyright © Cathy Humphreys 2007
All rights reserved. No part ofthis publication may be reproduced in any material form (including
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claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
Library ofCongress Cataloging in Publication Data
A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library ofCongress
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 84310 431 5
ISBN eBook pdf978 1 84642 615 5
In memory of my mother, Dorothy,
for whom there was never any refuge
Acknowledgements
This book was made possible through the interest, involvement and support of
many women. My thanks go to:
(cid:1) the residents and former residents of Penzance, Birmingham and York
Women’s Aid refuges, who were willing to share their experiences and
thoughts to establish a better understanding of their issues and
support needs and to help other women
(cid:1) the workers, volunteer staff and management at the refuges who took
time out of their busy lives to explain, advise, discuss and comment
(cid:1) all the members of Women’s Aid who have helped in shaping the
research on which this book is based with their ideas, comments and
feedback
(cid:1) my advisors, Ellen Malos and Nicola Harwin, and my support group,
especially Emma, Judith, Louise and Mandy
(cid:1) and finally to Ian, for his unfailing support and encouragement.
Contents
FOREWORD 9
INTRODUCTION 11
1: Why Doesn’t She Just Leave? 17
The effects ofdomestic violence 17; A framework for understanding 21;
Post traumatic stress disorder 23; Loss and grief 25; Loss, trauma and
recovery 27; Summary 28; Notes 29
2: Starting the Journey 31
Taking the decision 32; Filling the information gap 32; Making the
break 34; Arriving at the refuge 34; Assessing support needs 36; First
steps 37; Safety 39; Reactions 40; Summary 42; Notes 43
3: Exploring the Route 45
Loss45;Anger47;Oscillatingemotions48;Safety,trustand
empowerment49;Changingneeds51;Advocacy53;Mutualsupport55;
Summary56; Notes 58
4: Someone to Talk to, Someone to Listen 59
Mutual support 60; Worker support 61; Someone to listen 63;
Counselling 63; Therapeutic group work 66; Life skills and activities 67;
Being a family 69; Summary 70; Notes 72
5: Living Together 74
Daily life 74; Conflict 77; Participation 80; Other experiences of refuge
life 83; How it could be 84; Summary 86; Notes 88
6: Moving Out, Moving On 89
Problems ofrehousing 90; Fears and hopes 92; Support after rehousing 93;
Keeping in touch 96; Beginning a new life 97; Realignment 99;
Summary 101; Notes 102
7: The Best Things Were… 104
Safety 104; Respect 106; A non-judgemental attitude, being believed 107;
Mutual help and support from other residents 109; Time to talk and be
heard 110; Attitude and approach ofthe workers 112; Rebuilding the
capacity to cope 114; Summary 115; Notes 117
8: Putting the Pieces (Back) Together 118
Loss, transition and recovery 119; The extra burden 120; How these
concepts affect support giving 121; A way ofunderstanding 123;
One size will never fit all 124; Wider implications 125; Conclusions 126;
Summary 127; Notes 128
POSTSCRIPT 129
APPENDIX 1: WOMEN’S AID FEDERATION OF ENGLAND 131
APPENDIX 2: THE RESEARCH PROJECT 133
APPENDIX 3: PRÉCIS OF TOPIC GUIDE FOR INTERVIEWS WITH
PAST AND PRESENT SERVICE USERS 142
APPENDIX 4: RESOURCE MATERIALS 145
REFERENCES 148
SUBJECT INDEX 153
AUTHOR INDEX 156
Figures
1.1 Maslow’s hierarchy ofhuman needs 22
A2.1 Residents and ex-residents by age 139
A2.2 Children by age 139
A2.3 Residents’ and ex-residents’ length ofstay in refuge 140
A2.4 Distance travelled to refuge by informants 140
A2.5 Workers directly involved with supporting residents and ex-residents 141
Table
1.1 Examples ofdomestic violence 18