Success: The Psychology of Achievement

226 Pages·2017·20.55 MB·English

by  Dorling Kindersley

SUCCESS
PSYCHOLOGY
e
h
t
ofACHIEVEMENT
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SUCCESS
PSYCHOLOGY
e
h
t
ofACHIE VEMENT
DEBORAH A. OLSON, PhD
WITH MEGAN KAYE
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Senior Editors Hannah Bowen, Bob Bridle
Senior Art Editor Karen Constanti
Jacket Art Editor Harriet Yeomans
Senior Producer, Pre-Production Tony Phipps
Producer, Pre-Production Robert Dunn CONSULTING PSYCHOLOGIST
Creative Technical Support Sonia Charbonnier
Managing Editors Dawn Henderson, Angela Wilkes Deborah Olson, PhD
Managing Art Editor Marianne Markham Professor of Leadership and Management in the
Art Director Maxine Pedliham College of Business and Public Management at the
Publisher Mary-Clare Jerram University of La Verne, California, Dr. Olson specializes
US Publisher Mike Sanders in the areas of strengths-based leadership development
US Editors: Lori Hand, Michelle Melani and mid/late career growth. She has received awards
Written by Megan Kaye from the university for excellence in both teaching
Illustrations Keith Hagan and scholarship, and has over 30 years of experience
working in organizational development. In the 1980s,
First American Edition, 2017
she worked at Chrysler Corporation in the Learning
Published in the United States by DK Publishing
and Development department. She then worked as
345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
a consultant, and in 1995 became a partner at Hay
Copyright © 2017 Dorling Kindersley Limited
Management Consultants, an international leadership
DK, a Division of Penguin Random House LLC
development and human resource consulting firm. In
17 18 19 20 21 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
2001, she started her own consulting practice, which
001–271734–Jan/2017
focuses on designing and implementing leadership
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under the development processes and strengths-based human
copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be capital management systems.
reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system,
or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without
the prior written permission of the copyright owner. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Published in Great Britain by Dorling Kindersley Limited.
Deborah Olson:
All efforts have been made to contact the copyright holders It is with deep gratitude that I acknowledge my
and to obtain permission for the use of copyrighted material. husband and colleague, Dr. Kenneth Shultz, who
The publisher apologizes for any errors or omissions and through our three decades together has given me a
would be grateful to be notified about any corrections. clear understanding of what success means and how
the concepts discussed in this book are demonstrated
A catalog record for this book is
through the choices we make each day.
available from the Library of Congress
ISBN 978-1-4654-5360-0 The publisher would like to thank:
Nicola Erdpresser for design assistance; Bob Saxton
Printed and bound in China
and Alice Horne for editorial assistance; Georgina Palffy
All images © Dorling Kindersley Limited for proofreading; Margaret McCormack for the index;
For further information see: www.dkimages.com and US editor Lori Hand, for her help and expertise.
A WORLD OF IDEAS:
SEE ALL THERE IS TO KNOW
www.dk.com
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CONTENTS
8 FOREWORD 26 Clarifying your aims
Determining your
objectives
CHAPTER 1
A LIFE IN PROGRESS 28 Work-life balance
How to sort out
THE MEANINGS OF SUCCESS
your priorities
AND FULFILLMENT
30 A working life
12 What does success Managing career ups
look like? and downs
The diversity of fulfillment
32 Peer pressure
14 A success pinboard Does the support
Star traits of a of others matter? CHAPTER 2
thriving person STARTING WITH YOU
34 Achieving
16 More or less successful equilibrium POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY AND
Setting your scale A broader spectrum THE POWER OF BELIEFS
of achievement
36 The challenges 48 Fulfillment
18 Know your own mind of gender in the round
The success that works Different role expectations The whole-life picture
for you at home and work
52 Positive habits
20 A lifelong journey 38 Small steps Ways of thinking and being
Success as a Staying focused on progress
continuous process 54 True and actual selves
40 Sustaining clarity The importance of
22 Navigation skills Keeping your focus looking within
Finding your success path
42 Maintaining your 58 Emotional intelligence
routine Thinking with your feelings
Pay attention to what
you need 60 The sideways mirror
Seeing yourself as others
44 Learning from see you
mistakes
Keeping things 62 Delve deep
in perspective Understanding the inner you
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64 The power of grit CHAPTER 4
Developing resilience BASIC SKILLS
68 At ease with your mind FOR SUCCESS
Mindfulness, meditation,
clarity, and confidence AN EVERYDAY GUIDE TO EFFECTIVENESS
72 Finding your passion
114 A reed in the wind
Engagement, purpose,
The art of flexibility
and meaning
90 Wild horses
116 Make your own luck
74 When
Dealing with your emotions
The art of opportunity
disagreements arise
The harmony of conflict
94 The art of self-control
120 Taking it in stride
Holding out against
76 Taking stock of The art of acceptance
temptation
your strengths
Understanding your 122 When times get tough
96 The warp factor
unique advantages Coping skills
How stress can
undermine success
78 Nature versus nurture 124 Time management
Are people born to succeed? Priming yourself for success
98 Managing stress
Responding productively
128 Dealing with deadlines
CHAPTER 3 to pressure
How to focus on
HONE YOUR ATTITUDE the challenge
100 In the zone
EXERCISE YOUR THINKING Making stress work for you
130 Standing your ground
AND HARNESS YOUR SKILLS
Learning to say “no”
102 The enemy within
82 Beating negative Combating self-defeating
132 Decision time
thinking attitudes
Balancing your choices
The power of optimism
104 Imposter syndrome
134 Active planning
84 Learning to Accepting your own skills
Developing and refining
trust yourself
your strategies
Confidence-building 106 Want to win or
techniques scared to lose?
136 Taking the stage
When fear of failure
Public speaking skills
86 The value of leisure is holding you back
Staying refreshed and
138 Making a pitch
invigorated 108 Coping with failure
The art of selling
Changing your outlook
88 At ease with yourself
140 Safeguarding
The importance of a 110 The terrified winner
your team
healthy body image Dealing with the fear
How to protect your project
of success
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142 Taking charge 170 Personal cost control 198 Mentors and guides
Management When to hold on, The value of mutual support
and leadership when to let go
200 Credibility
144 Making memories 172 Your evolving network Talking the talk and
Maximizing your Maintaining a variety walking the walk
mental resources of relationships
202 Respect
146 Critical thinking 174 Building your Get others to recognize
The power of skepticism social capital your worth
Give yourself an edge
148 Knowing your 204 The psychology
blind spots 176 Creative responses of wealth
How to keep a Finding inventive How do you relate
rational perspective alternatives to money?
180 Learning from failures 206 Good friends
CHAPTER 5 How to keep an open mind The value of supportive
IN YOUR SIGHTS relationships
182 Avoiding burnout
GOAL SETTING AND GOAL GETTING Sustaining your progress 208 Successful in love?
over time Making romance work
for you
152 Master of your fate
184 Free time
Keeping yourself motivated
Optimizing your leisure 210 Creating a balance
time to nurture success Work, home, and
154 Thinking like a winner
a whole self
Ten beliefs to
motivate you CHAPTER 6
212 Success for life
SUCCESS How well-being
156 Beating
helps us
procrastination
A WHOLE-LIFE PROCESS
Using your time
214 Sources and
and resources well
188 Building Resilience bibliography
Fortifying your
160 The perils of
inner reserves 220 INDEX
perfectionism
When it’s wrong to be right
190 Lifelong learning
The path of development
162 Seeing your way
Visualization techniques
194 Feedback
Sharing ideas and
164 Catching a mood
hearing opinions
The power of emotional
contagion
196 Listening skills
How to tune into
166 Finding flow
what you hear
A state of engaged focus
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FOREWORD
C
larity is essential to create success and achieve goals that are important to us.
For over 30 years, I have worked with managers, executives, and students to
assist them in applying research-based practices to help them achieve their
goals—both personal and professional. During this time, I have noticed a specific
pattern: most of us can clearly describe what we don’t like about our lives, work, and
relationships, with the belief that if only we could do this or change that, we would
be successful. However, when asked to describe what we do want for ourselves, the
picture we conjure up tends to be blurry, for example: make more money, travel, be
promoted at work, have a loving relationship, or start our own business.
In a digital age, the pervasiveness of social media and the frequency with which we
“see” others succeed can make it more challenging to find clarity on what success
means to each of us. With a continuous stream of images that show how other people
seem to be succeeding, our lives, activities, vacations, relationships, and physical
appearance can appear to be “less than” in comparison. If we are not yet clear about
what we want to achieve, the images we see around us will only obscure our vision.
The ideas, tools, and approaches in the following pages summarize the research on
success and achievement. Each chapter is designed to help bring your thinking into
focus, enabling you to develop detailed and specific plans. This in turn will allow you
to sustain your momentum, even in the face of tendencies to procrastinate, negative
judgments from others about whether what you are doing is “right for you,” a fear
of failure, and concerns about what you may need to leave behind as you reach for
whatever it is that you wish to achieve.
The material in this book is based on the psychological research and applied
practices of positive psychology, which emphasizes the importance of building hope,
resilience, and optimism. Chapter one explores the many ways of finding out what
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