Storying Relationships: Young British Muslims Speak and Write about Sex and Love PDF
Preview Storying Relationships: Young British Muslims Speak and Write about Sex and Love
STORYING RELATIONSHIPS ii STORYING RELATIONSHIPS Young British Muslims Speak and Write about Sex and Love Richard Phillips, Claire Chambers, Nafhesa Ali, Kristina Diprose and Indrani Karmakar Zed Books Bloomsbury Publishing Plc 50 Bedford Square, London, WC1B 3DP, UK 1385 Broadway, New York, NY 10018, USA 29 Earlsfort Terrace, Dublin 2, Ireland BLOOMSBURY and Zed Books are trademarks of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc First published in Great Britain 2021 Copyright © Richard Phillips, Claire Chambers, Nafhesa Ali, Kristina Diprose and Indrani Karmakar, 2021 Richard Phillips, Claire Chambers, Nafhesa Ali, Kristina Diprose and Indrani Karmakar have asserted their right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as Authors of this work. For legal purposes the Acknowledgements on p.xi constitute an extension of this copyright page. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publishers. Bloomsbury Publishing Plc does not have any control over, or responsibility for, any third-party websites referred to or in this book. All internet addresses given in this book were correct at the time of going to press. The author and publisher regret any inconvenience caused if addresses have changed or sites have ceased to exist, but can accept no responsibility for any such changes. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress. ISBN HB: 978-1-7869-9846-0 ePDF: 978-1-7869-9845-3 ebook: 978-1-7869-9843-9 Typeset by Integra Software Services Pvt. Ltd. To find out more about our authors and books visit www.bloomsbury.com and sign up for our newsletters. This book is dedicated to the young people from Muslim backgrounds who participated in the Storying Sexual Relationships project as interviewees, writers, performers, facilitators, tutors and critical friends. vi CONTENTS List of Figures ix List of Tables x Acknowledgements xi Introduction 1 Chapter 1 SINGLE 17 Chapter 2 MEETING 31 Interlude 1 COMING TO TERMS 45 Chapter 3 DATING 59 Chapter 4 LOVE 73 Interlude 2 SPEAKING TO STEREOTYPES 85 Chapter 5 PRESSURE 101 Chapter 6 MARRIED 115 Interlude 3 (NOT SO) DIFFERENT 128 Chapter 7 SEX 143 viii Contents Chapter 8 DREAMING 157 Conclusion 171 Guide to Literary Sources 186 References 191 Index 201 FIGURES 0.1 Creative writing journal written by Bilal, who took part in a series of workshops in Bradford in 2018. This extract from Bilal’s diary, with its beautiful writing and crossings-out, is at once elegant and uncertain, still searching 5 2.1 A scene from the animated film Halal Dating, which was made by the participants in Workshop Series 1. This shows an imaginary Muslim dating gameshow. The presence of all family members acts as a humorous illustration of the collective rather than individualistic approach to relationships. The participants in this workshop described this as a common experience for British Muslims, particularly for those with South Asian heritage 32 3.1 ‘To date or not to date: Halal is the question’. This still from the animated film Halal Dating, which was made by the participants in Workshop Series 1, visualizes the conundrum faced by many young Muslims: the question of whether or not dating can ever be religiously permissible 63 3.2 Traditional first meetings between potential brides and grooms are symbolized by the tea and biscuits which are typically served by the young woman, with all eyes on her. Tea and biscuits are, of course, also symbols of Britishness, Pakistaniness, and wholesome hospitality. This still image is from the animated film Halal Dating, which was made by the participants in Workshop Series 1 64 3.3 Those who entertain the possibility that dating can be religiously permissible tend to agree that it should not involve physical contact and that it should be chaperoned. Given the challenges of the former for two young people who are drawn to each other but find themselves anxious about the awkwardness of being chaperoned, some young Muslims speak of dating over the phone and online. This image, illustrating such virtual dating, is from the animated film Halal Dating, which was made by the participants in Workshop Series 1 64 6.1 In this light-hearted depiction of marital conflict, a woman throws a shoe at her husband for his smoking habit. This scene is taken from the animated film Halal Dating, which was made by the participants in Workshop Series 1. This image, and the storyline accompanying it, express realistic rather than idealistic ideas about marriage. The young animators acknowledge the existence of conflict and exasperation, even in marriages that generally work 126
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