Stop the Screaming: How to Turn Angry Conflict With Your Child into Positive Communication

238 Pages·2009·1.44 MB·English

by  Carl E. Pickhardt Ph.D.

Stop the Screaming
How to Turn Angry Conflict with your
Child into Positive Communication
Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D.
STOP THE SCREAMING
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Also by Carl Pickhardt and from Palgrave Macmillan
The Future of Your Only Child: How to Guide Your Child to a Happy
and Successful Life
The Connected Father: Understanding Your Unique Role and
Responsibilities during Your Child’s Adolescence
For more books by Carl Pickhardt, see www.carlpickhardt.com
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STOP THE SCREAMING
HOW TO TURN ANGRY CONFLICT
WITH YOUR CHILD INTO POSITIVE
COMMUNICATION
Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D.
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STOP THE SCREAMING
Copyright © Carl E. Pickhardt, 2009.
All rights reserved.
First published in 2009 by
PALGRAVE MACMILLAN®
in the United States—a division of St. Martin’s Press LLC,
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
Where this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world,
this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited,
registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills,
Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS.
Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies
and has companies and representatives throughout the world.
Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States,
the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries.
ISBN-13: 978–0–230–60645–6
ISBN-10: 0–230–60645–8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the
Library of Congress.
A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library.
Design by Newgen Imaging Systems (P) Ltd., Chennai, India.
First edition: January, 2009.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America.
Shortly before she died at age 97, my stepmother gave
me a commission: “Read Heraclitus.” And so, like many times
before, she set me on another path of understanding:
That ancient Greek philosopher is the inspiration for this book,
which I dedicate with gratitude to them both.
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The poet was a fool who wanted no conflict among us. . . . From the
strain of binding opposites comes harmony.
—Brooks Haxton, Fragments:
The Collected Wisdom of Heraclitus
Conflict is a natural and even inevitable aspect of most ongoing close
relationships. So the issue that differentiates successful from unsuc-
cessful relationships is not whether there is conflict but, rather, how it
is handled.
—Daniel J. Canary, William R. Cupach,
and Susan J. Messman, Relationship Conflict
Though conflict is a human universal, so are efforts to reduce it.
—Steven Pinker, How the Mind Works
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CONTENTS
Disclaimer 10
Acknowledgment 11
Introduction 13
1 Cooperation and Conflict 21
2 Emotion and Conflict 47
3 Communication and Conflict 71
4 Intolerance and Conflict 93
5 Resemblance and Conflict 121
6 Change and Conflict 145
7 Authority and Conflict 173
8 Compromise and Conflict 207
Appendix A: Behaviors to Avoid in Family Conflict 217
Appendix B: A Code of Family Conflict 219
Appendix C: In Case of Violence 221
Notes 223
Further Reading 229
Index 233
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