Standing in the Fire: Leading High-Heat Meetings with Clarity, Calm, and Courage

241 Pages·2010·0.78 MB·English

by  Larry Dressler

More praise for Standing in the Fire
“Larry Dressler helps us to increase our capacities and practices to lead
meetings that are often a test by fi re, enabling us to feel the burn and not
be burned out but rather be inspired to achieve more effective outcomes.”
—Susan A. Bouchard, Senior Business Development Manager,
Cisco Systems Inc., and author of Enterprise Web 2.0 Fundamentals
“Clear and potent, Standing in the Fire presents a transformed way of being
for conveners and facilitators of confl ictual meetings. Learning to appreci-
ate and apply its principles and practices sets the stage for breakthrough
possibilities for today’s challenged leaders.”
—Juanita Brown and David Isaacs, coauthors of The World Café
“Dressler offers a new perspective and a new set of tools to help channel fi re
into transformative outcomes. This is a must-read for anyone who must
navigate through a sea of emotionally charged issues.”
—Russell Coff, Associate Professor of
Organization and Management, Emory University
“Today’s business leaders have to practice the capacity to stand with confl ict
and confusion in the kinds of challenges they face. Larry Dressler’s fi ne
book gives everyone a framework to understand what’s going on in these
moments and the skills to stand in a powerful combination of strength
and sensitivity.”
—Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea, coauthors of The Circle Way
“Larry Dressler writes with clarity and deep understanding. He provides an
accessible perspective and practical wisdom for moving past the urge to
react when things go scarily out of control.”
—Saul Eisen, PhD, Program Coordinator,
Organization Development Program, Sonoma State University
“Standing in the Fire affi rmed for me that learning to lead others through
uncertainty and confl ict is, at its heart, a spiritual journey. Larry Dressler
has written another provocative and inspiring book that I’ll use and share
with colleagues for many years to come.”
—Steve Fox, Executive Vice President,
Central Conference of American Rabbis
“The more complex the challenges, the more likely the solutions involve
passing through the fl ames of change. Offering compelling wisdom from
the inside out, Standing in the Fire equips you to support groups in making
it through. Step in with both feet!”
—Peggy Holman, coauthor and coeditor, The Change Handbook
“We mediators and facilitators pride ourselves in having a sophisticated
understanding of group processes, of complex issues, and of what makes
groups tick. But self-awareness, which is crucial in this profession, is some-
times elusive. Larry Dressler challenges us to look deeply at who we are and
how we can best use ourselves in our work.”
—Mary Margaret Golten, Partner, CDR Associates
“Larry Dressler has done a remarkable job of unpacking what it takes to walk
thoughtfully, deliberately, and effectively through even the most challeng-
ing leadership moments.”
—Terry Kellogg, Chief Executive Director, 1% for the Planet
“One’s being has as much impact as one’s doing, and Larry shares stories
and insights that deepen one’s capacity to be and do with integrity and
intention.”
—Carolyn J. Lukensmeyer, President and founder, AmericaSpeaks
“No matter what our job titles are, Larry Dressler teaches us how the tough-
est work ‘out there’ is always an opportunity to do the work ‘in here.’”
—Jennifer Orgolini, Sustainability Director, New Belgium Brewing
“Standing in the Fire argues that change requires not only the right tools
wielded by skilled hands but more importantly the knowing heart of a
facilitator to foster true transformation in people and institutions.”
—Paul Michalec, Program Chair, Curriculum and Instruction,
Morgridge College of Education, University of Denver
“Larry touches the heart of the matter for those of us who are called to do
the work of opening and holding space for learning and transformation. To
be ourselves in the fi re takes an inner strength that does not come for free.
Larry’s invitation to practice this stance in our own way is most timely.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller, cofounder, The Art of Hosting
“Eloquent, clear, and wise. Key distinctions in the Being of facilitation are
grounded in pragmatic practices that really work.”
—Doug Silsbee, author of Presence-Based Coaching
“Dressler speaks not with the voice of abstract authority but as one fi re
tender to another. He shows us how personal practice transforms facilita-
tion into an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-mastery, and he
offers a wealth of tips for strengthening our presence, agility, and joy along
the way.”
—Susan Szpakowski, Executive Director, ALIA Institute
S TA N D I N G
I N T H E F I R E
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Standing
in the
Fire
LEADING HIGH-HEAT
MEETINGS WITH CALM,
CLARITY, AND COURAGE
Larry Dressler
Standing in the Fire
Copyright © 2010 by Larry Dressler
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or trans-
mitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other elec-
tronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher,
except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other
noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the
publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
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San Francisco, California 94104-2916
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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-57675-970-7
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-60509-010-8
IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-60509-772-5
2010-1
Designed and produced by Seventeenth Street Studios
Copy editing by Karen Seriguchi
Cover designed by Mark van Bronkhorst, MvB Design
DEDICATION
To my dad, Harold Wasserman Dressler, and my cousin,
Sidney Wasserman—youthful elders who possessed
clarity of conviction, practical intelligence, and a wide-
open heart—all in the service of family and community.
They changed the world with each person whose
lives they touched.
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C O N T E N T S
Foreword by Roger Schwarz ix
Preface xiii
INTRODUCTION
THE POWER OF FIRE 1
PART I
THE FIRE 7
1 Fire for Better or Worse 9
2 We Are Fire Tenders 24
PART II
SIX WAYS OF STANDING 35
3 Stand with Self-Awareness 38
4 Stand in the Here and Now 54
5 Stand with an Open Mind 65
6 Know What You Stand For 80
7 Dance with Surprises 97
8 Stand with Compassion 110
PART III
PRACTICES 125
9 Cultivate Everyday Readiness 127
10 Prepare to Lead 149
11 Face the Fire 162
12 Refl ect and Renew 180
CONCLUSION
STEPPING INTO THE FIRE CIRCLE 199
vii