Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction: A Physician's Journey of Discovery, A PDF
Preview Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction: A Physician's Journey of Discovery, A
A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction A Physician’s Journey of Discovery The characters in this book are not real individuals, rather they are composites. The incidents and conversations are recreated from memory, supplemented with the author’s experience and that of countless others. Permission is granted to quote from this work for the purpose of reviews and discussions. Permission to quote from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous provided by AA World Services, Inc. Permission to quote from the works of Dylan Thomas provided by David Higham Associates, London. A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction A Physician’s Journey of Discovery © 2020 Linville M. Meadows. All rights reserved. Published by The Meadows Farm, Inc. Cover photographs by the Author. ISBN Print edition 978-1-7350258-0-3. ISBN eBook edition 978-1-7350258-1-0 Visit the author’s website at https://www.spiritualpathwaytorecovery.com/ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. --Reinhold Niebuhr A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction A Physician’s Journey of Discovery Linville M. Meadows, M.D. Table of Contents Getting There 9 Where to Begin? 17 Addiction is a Disease 36 Alcoholic Insanity 71 Addictive Character Traits 80 Begin with Baby Steps 101 Practical Ideas 117 Moral Inventory 126 Prayer and Meditation 144 Higher Power 155 A New Way of Thinking 168 I Can Control My Thoughts 181 Living by Spiritual Principles 203 A New Way of Living 216 The Fine Points 243 Annotated Bibliography 251 CHAPTER ONE Getting There “The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” —Lao Tzu I was sick, scared, and lost I stood alone in the Atlanta airport, arms full of baggage, looking for the someone who was supposed to meet me, when suddenly I dropped the bags, collapsed into an empty seat, and began to cry. I never felt more alone, more vulnerable, nor more frightened. It seemed that everything I had worked for my entire adult life was being swept away. There was no one or no thing I could turn to for help. It seemed impossible that only five days before, my nurses had intervened on me. My alcohol and drug use had gotten completely out of control and it was obvious that I was impaired. I was sure the Medical Board would show up, arrest 9 A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction me, and take away my medical license. Instead they sent me to detox. How- ever, they issued a stern warning: failure to complete an approved rehabilita- tion course at a center approved for physicians would result in the permanent loss of my medical license. Complete the course, usually some three or four months, and I would be welcomed back into the medical fold with open arms. I was at the absolute low point of my life. I had no idea what had happened to me, how a drink with dinner had become two bottles of wine every night, or how an occasional party drug had become an addiction I couldn’t control. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t quit. My life was a drunken drugged-out downward spiral. I was dying and I knew it. Some days I wanted desperately to quit. Other days I just didn’t care. Almost imperceptibly, a man about my age filled the seat beside me, caught my attention, and began to speak. “You must be Dr. Linville Meadows,” he said kindly. “What do your friends call you?” “Lin. People only call me Linville if they’re mad at me.” He put his hand out. “Name’s Mike. I’m your ride to rehab. C’mon. And I promise not to call you Linville, okay?” Mike was slightly balding and stocky; his hand- shake was strong, and his smile was genuine. He had a good bedside manner. “Deal. What did you say your name was?” I asked, blowing my nose. “Mike. From New Jersey. Obstetrician. Drug of choice: more.” “More?” “More of whatever you got,” he said. I managed a small laugh. He didn’t look like a drug addict and I couldn’t believe he was actually telling me about his addiction. There was no one back home who I could talk to about my own problems. In fact, my days were spent terrified that someone would discover my drug use, and yet, here he was, speaking openly about his. In a few minutes we were in his little green convertible with the top down, wheeling out of the airport. The fresh breeze felt good on my face. 10
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