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Something Old, Something Bold Something Old, Something Bold (cid:1) Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties Beth Montemurro Rutgers University Press New Brunswick,New Jersey,and London Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Montemurro,Beth,1972– Something old,something bold :bridal showers and bachelorette parties as traditions of transition / Beth Montemurro. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13:978-0-8135-3810-5 (hardcover :alk.paper) ISBN-13:978-0-8135-3811-2 (pbk.:alk.paper) 1. Showers (Parties)—United States—History. 2. Bachelorette parties— United States—History. 3. Marriage customs and rites. I. Title. GV1472.S5M66 2006 793.2—dc22 2005028197 A British Cataloging-in-Publication record for this book is available from the British Library Copyright © 2006 by Beth Montemurro All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,or by any information storage and retrieval system,with- out written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers University Press,100 Joyce Kilmer Avenue,Piscataway,NJ 08854–8099.The only exception to this prohibition is “fair use”as deﬁned by U.S.copyright law. Manufactured in the United States of America For my bridesmaids:Christy,Traci,Candy,Diane,Jen,and Jennifer Contents List of Illustrations ix Acknowledgments xi 1 Introduction: Joining the Party 1 2 Origins of Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties 20 3 Something Old: Etiquette, Tradition, and Femininity at Bridal Showers 44 4 Something Borrowed and Blue: The Bachelorette Party 85 5 Something New: Consumption, Materialism, and Excess in Pre-wedding Rituals 132 6 Something Different: Variations in Pre-wedding Rituals 167 7 Conclusion: Bashful Brides and Bold Bachelorettes 191 Notes 205 References 207 Index 215 vii Illustrations 1.1. A bride displays a gift for guests at her bridal shower 8 1.2. A bride adorned with a bridal headband and veil that she wears during her bachelorette party 10 3.1. As a bride opens her presents, her maid of honor keeps a record of gifts and givers 45 3.2. Learning the ropes: a young girl assists the bride-to-be 48 3.3. A bride and her mother pose for a photo 52 3.4. Decorating the bride with a bow bouquet and hat constructed with the ribbons and bows from the gifts she received 55 3.5. The bridesmaid-shower hostesses with the bride 62 3.6. Domestic gifts at a bridal shower 66 3.7. Bridesmaids lead traditional shower games 69 4.1. Pre-party games: Embarrassing the bride with risqué “mad libs” 94 4.2. Completing a bachelorette party task: Removing the tag from a random man’s briefs 101 4.3. Bachelorette party games: Suck for a Buck 104 4.4. Friends buy a bride-to-be shots of alcohol 109 4.5. Male exotic dancers often wear costumes that exemplify hyper-masculinity, such as this one, who made use of handcuffs and a nightstick during his routine 114 ix