So Young, So Sad, So Listen: A Parents' Guide to Depression in Children and Young People PDF
Preview So Young, So Sad, So Listen: A Parents' Guide to Depression in Children and Young People
PHILIP GRAHAM & NICK MIDGLEY THIRD EDITION So Young, So Sad, So Listen A Parents’ Guide to Depression in Children and Young People So Young, So Sad, So Listen So Young, So Sad, So Listen ’ A parents guide to depression in children and young people By Philip Graham and Nick Midgley Drawings by Christine Roche Foreword by Philip Pullman UniversityPrintingHouse,CambridgeCB28BS,UnitedKingdom OneLibertyPlaza,20thFloor,NewYork,NY10006,USA 477WilliamstownRoad,PortMelbourne,VIC3207,Australia 314–321,3rdFloor,Plot3,SplendorForum,JasolaDistrictCentre, NewDelhi–110025,India 79AnsonRoad,#06–04/06,Singapore079906 CambridgeUniversityPressispartoftheUniversityofCambridge. ItfurtherstheUniversity’smissionbydisseminatingknowledgeinthepursuitof education,learning,andresearchatthehighestinternationallevelsofexcellence. www.cambridge.org Informationonthistitle:www.cambridge.org/9781911623564 DOI:10.1017/9781911623557 ©RoyalCollegeofPsychiatrists1995,2005,2020 Thispublicationisincopyright.Subjecttostatutoryexception andtotheprovisionsofrelevantcollectivelicensingagreements, noreproductionofanypartmaytakeplacewithoutthewritten permissionofCambridgeUniversityPress. Firstpublished1995,TheRoyalCollegeofPsychiatrists Secondedition2005,TheRoyalCollegeofPsychiatrists ThirdeditionpublishedbyCambridgeUniversityPress2020 PrintedintheUnitedKingdombyTJInternationalLtd,PadstowCornwall AcataloguerecordforthispublicationisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary. LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData Names:Graham,P.J.(PhilipJeremy),author. Title:Soyoung,sosad,solisten:helpingdepressedchildren/byPhilipGrahamandNicholasMidgley;drawings byChristineRoche;forewordbyPhilipPullman. Description:Thirdedition.|Cambridge,UnitedKingdom;NewYork,NY:CambridgeUniversityPress,2020.| Revisededitionof:Soyoung,sosad,solisten/PhilipGrahamandCarolHughes.[Rev.ed.].c2005.|Includes bibliographicalreferencesandindex. Identifiers:LCCN2019058636(print)|LCCN2019058637(ebook)|ISBN9781911623564(paperback)|ISBN 9781911623557(ebook) Subjects:LCSH:Depressioninchildren–Popularworks.|Depressioninadolescence–Popularworks. Classification:LCCRJ506.D4G732020(print)|LCCRJ506.D4(ebook)|DDC618.92/8527–dc23 LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2019058636 LCebookrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2019058637 ISBN978-1-911-62356-4Paperback CambridgeUniversityPresshasnoresponsibilityforthepersistenceoraccuracyof URLsforexternalorthird-partyinternetwebsitesreferredtointhispublication anddoesnotguaranteethatanycontentonsuchwebsitesis,orwillremain, accurateorappropriate. ................................................................................................................................................................. Everyefforthasbeenmadeinpreparingthisbooktoprovideaccurateandup-to-dateinformationthatisin accordwithacceptedstandardsandpracticeatthetimeofpublication.Althoughcasehistoriesaredrawnfrom actualcases,everyefforthasbeenmadetodisguisetheidentitiesoftheindividualsinvolved.Nevertheless,the authors,editors,andpublisherscanmakenowarrantiesthattheinformationcontainedhereinistotallyfree fromerror,notleastbecauseclinicalstandardsareconstantlychangingthroughresearchandregulation.The authors,editors,andpublishersthereforedisclaimallliabilityfordirectorconsequentialdamagesresulting fromtheuseofmaterialcontainedinthisbook.Readersarestronglyadvisedtopaycarefulattentionto informationprovidedbythemanufacturerofanydrugsorequipmentthattheyplantouse. Contents ForewordtotheSecondEditionbyPhilipPullman vii Acknowledgements viii Introduction 1 1 HowCanYouKnowifYourChildIsDepressed? 5 2 UnderstandingDepressioninChildrenandYoung People 21 3 WhatParentsCanDotoHelpBuildaChild’sResilience toDepression 30 4 HelpingChildrenCopewithCommonStresses:WhatParents CanDo 40 5 WhenaChildIsDepressed:WhatParentsCanDo 54 6 GettingProfessionalHelp:AGuidetoServicesforChildren andYoungPeoplewithDepression 64 7 LastWords–fromaParent 77 8 MessagetoGovernments 78 ResourcesandFurtherReading 79 Index 82 v Foreword to Second Edition Depression:ithardlysoundslikeanillness,doesit?Itsoundslikeamood.Itsounds likesomethingyoucouldsnapoutof,withabitofwillpower;likesomethingyou’d havetobefeebletogiveinto. Ourancestorscalleditmelancolia,ormelancholy–butevenmelancholysounds mild.Itsoundslikethesortofpleasinggentlesadnesswemightfeelinautumnaswe seetheleavesturnbrownandfallfromthetrees. Noneofthesenamesdoesitjustice.There’snothingmildorgentleaboutwhat wecalldepression.Infact,atitsworst,it’sasavageandmercilessdisease.Thoseof uswhohavefeltitspowerdreaditandshunit,andknowthewayitcanravageand tormentthemind, and pursue usunrelentinglywhile shuttingoffeveryavenueof escape,untilthereseemstobeonlyonewayoutofthedarklabyrinthwe’retrapped in:andthatwayissuicide. It’s a horrible thing to suffer from. It’s bad enough for adults, although people who’vehadbrusheswithitcandevelopwaysofcopingwhentheysenseitlurking nearby.Keepingbusyhelps,andtakingexercise,andnotspendingtoomuchtime onourown,oringloomysurroundings. Butitcancatchchildreninitsgrip,too.Youngpeoplearejustassusceptible,and it’sharderforthem,becausetheyhavenothingtocompareitwith;andsometimesit strikeswhentheyaregoingthroughadolescence,thatmostconfusingandstressful period,whentheirbodiesarechangingrapidly,whentheyarebesetbyallkindsof socialandpersonalembarrassments,whensexualfeelingsareincreasinglyurgent, when every relationship isunder strain. Sometimes the starting pointof a bout of depressionmightbefamilyproblemsthatseemimpossibletodealwith–divorce, bereavement, or an abusive adult; but sometimes it strikes out of the blue, with hardly any apparent reason. Whatever the cause and wherever it comes from, if depressionstrikeswhenyou’reyoung,itstrikesveryhardindeed. Why it affects some and not others is still a mystery. The important thing to rememberisthattherearewaystodealwithit.Oneofthemostdeadlytricksofthis cunning and malevolent disease is to persuade us that the hopeless despair we’re sufferingisourfault:thatwearesomehowtoblameforthestatewe’rein,thatwe don’tdeservetoliveandbehappy. Thisiswheretheinformedhelpofotherpeoplecanbesoimportant.Thisbook isfullofhelpfulinformationnotonlyfortheyoungsufferer,butfortheirfriends, andforparentsandteachersandotheradultswhodealwithchildren.I’mgladthat suchasourceofgoodadviceandinformationexists,andIhopeitwilllightenmany burdens. PhilipPullman vii Acknowledgements CarolHugheswasasecondauthoronanearliereditionofthisbook,andwethank herforallowingustomakeuseofherinvaluablecontributions.Wearealsograteful toRoslynLaw,PhilippaPowell,GerryRobinson,TraceyRollings,PaulWilkinson, aswellasanumberofanonymousparentsandananonymouschildandadolescent psychiatrist for their valuable comments on drafts of this book. Quotations from young people and parents about their experiences of depression and treatment mostly come from the IMPACT-ME study, which was funded by the Monument Trust. We are also grateful to the members of the editorial staff of Cambridge UniversityPressfortheirhelpandencouragement,andtoChristineRocheforher wonderfulillustrations. viii Introduction Thisbookisaboutdepressioninchildrenandteenagersduringtheirschoolyears, fromfivetoeighteen.Itiswrittenprimarilyforparents,butwehopethatteachers, socialworkers,healthvisitorsandfamilydoctorswillalsofindituseful. Why do parents need to know about possible depression in their children? All childrengetsadandmiserablefromtimetotime.Sometimesitisdifficulttoknowif such normal unhappiness needs special attention. We aim to help parents in this situation. This is an example of a situation in which a mother describes how first she thought her son’s problem was nothing much to worry about but then she had to changehermind.Ben’smother,ateacher,describedthechangethatcameoverher ten-year-oldsonafterashortviralillness. ‘Hechangedsomehow.Thechangewassogradualthatitwashardtopinpointatfirst. We thought he was still recovering from the virus and took him to the doctor. But, slowly,webecameawarethatthingsweregettingworse.Heseemedtohavelosthis sparkle – he used to be such a lively, interested and interesting ten-year-old, with a passion for Arsenal! Then even football lost its charm for him. Wefelt he was just going through the motions of everyday life. He would agree to most things, but do themwithoutenjoyment.Hequicklybecametearfuloverminorincidents.Hestayed indoorsmoreandmoreandwerealisedthathespokelessfrequentlyabouthisfriends ortheirjointactivities.Unlesswepushedhimintodoingsomeactivity,hewouldjust do nothing. It was such an upsetting difference from the energetic, sometimes exhausting,livelychildthatwehadknown.’ Childrenandyoungpeoplethemselvesneedtoknowaboutdepressionsothatthey can better understand what is happening when one of their friends or they them- selvessufferfromit.Althoughthisbookiswrittenprimarilyforparentsandcarers, inthesectiononResourcesattheendofthisbook,wesuggestsomeplaceswhere childrenandyoungpeoplecanfindmoreinformation. Teachers need to know about depression because it can affect learning and behaviour in the school setting. Sometimes a child or young person with a depressive problem can show unmistakeable signs at school but appear or show verydifferentbehaviourathome.Sometimes,aswithEmma,behaviournotusually associatedwithdepressioncanbeasignofitspresence. 1
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