Smart But Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD

290 Pages·2014·1.66 MB·English

by  Thomas E. Brown

More Praise for Smart but Stuck
“SmartbutStuckwillhelpyougetunstuck!Drawinguponalifetimeofclinical
experience,TomBrownonceagainstrikesgoldinthispractical,authoritative,
and,aboveall,helpfulbook.Nomatterwhereyouareinyourjourneyto
success,ifyouhaveADHDthisbookwillhelptospeedyouonyourway.
Icouldnotrecommenditmorehighly.”
—Edward(Ned)Hallowell,M.D.,author,DriventoDistractionandDelivered
fromDistraction
“ThisisanexceptionallyimportantbookforthosecopingwithADHDand
familymemberswhocareaboutthem.Itaddressesamuchoverlooked
componentofthedisorder—theimportanceofemotions.Clearlywritten,rich
indetail,andfullofhelpfuladvice,thisbookwillbebeneficialtoanyonewith
ADHDandtothosewhostruggletolivewith,understand,andhelpthem.”
—RussellA.Barkley,Ph.D.,clinicalprofessor,psychiatryandpediatrics,
MedicalUniversityofSouthCarolina;author,TakingChargeofADHDand
TakingChargeofAdultADHD
“Thisbook,reflectingDr.Brown’s35yearsofclinicalpracticecombinedwith
thelatestfindingsfromaffectiveneuroscience,isamust-readforanyonewho
isinterestedinADHD.”
—JamesJ.Gross,Ph.D.,professor,psychology,StanfordUniversity;editor,
HandbookofEmotionRegulation
“Dr.Brownintroducesaforgottenpieceinthelifeofthosesufferingfrom
ADHD:theroleofemotions.Heprovidesanintegrativeandeasy-to-
understandviewofhowexecutivefunctioningimpairmentsinteractwith
emotionalcontrolinADHD.Healsooffersthoughtfulstrategiestominimize
theimpactoftheseimpairments.”
—LuisAugustoRohde,M.D.,Ph.D.,president,WorldFederationofADHD;
professor,psychiatry,FederalUniversityofRioGrandedoSul,Brazil
“Theseengagingvignettesvividlybringtolifeemotionaldifficultiesthat,
evenforveryintelligentteensandadults,canleadtofrustrationandfailurein
effortstoovercometheirdeficitsinattention,organization,andmotivation.
HereTomBrowncombinesareader-friendlysummaryofrelevantresearch
withhisclinicalexpertiseinhelpingpeoplewithADHDtogetontrack
tosuccess.”
—MinaK.Dulcan,M.D.,professorofpsychiatry,behavioralsciencesand
pediatrics,Ann&RobertH.LurieChildren’sHospitalofChicagoand
NorthwesternUniversityFeinbergSchoolofMedicine
smart stuck
but
emotions in teens and adults
with ADHD
thomas e. brown, ph.d.
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FIRSTEDITION
HBPrinting 10987654321
contents
TheAuthor ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
1 ADHD and the emotional brain 7
AnewunderstandingofADHDandemotions;whyemotionscanbesotroublingin
thelivesofthosewithADHD;howtheADHDbrainprocessesemotionsdifferently;
theinfluencesoftemperamentandexperiencesonemotionsandmotivations.
2 Eric 43
“I’minagreatuniversitywhereIwanttodowell,butIjustcan’tgetmyself
motivatedtodothework.Ididreallywellinhighschool;nowmygradeshave
tanked.I’vebeenspendingtoomuchtimehangingoutwithmygirlfriendand
smokingweed.I’vetriedsomeADHDmedicines,buttheymakemetoojittery.”
—20-year-olduniversitystudent
3 Karen 65
“MyparentsalwaystaughtmethatIhaveanobligationtobehaveandachievein
waysthatwouldnotbringshameonmyfamily.WhenIfailedoutofcollege,they
helpedmepreparetotryagain.Iwantedverymuchtodoit,butonthatcriticalday
whenIwassupposedtostartthelasttwocoursesIneededtogetreadmitted,Iwas
tooafraidtowalkintheclassroomdoor.”
—22-year-olduniversitystudent
v
vi contents
4 Martin 81
“I’minMensa,butIearnednocreditsinmyfirsttwoyearsatcollege—Iwastoo
bakedtogetmyselftoclass.NowI’mdoingwellinafewcourseswheretheprofessors
arereallyinteresting,butIcan’tgetstartedonwritingpapersandoftenskipclass....
Withmymiserableacademicrecord,what’stheuseinmytryingtograduate?”
—23-year-olduniversitystudent
5 Sarah 103
“I’vebeenmarriedtwenty-fiveyears,havethreegreatkids,andhadadecentcareer
asajournalist,butIjustgotfiredbecauseIcouldn’tprioritizeandkeepupwithmy
work.SincemenopauseI’vehadtroublekeepingtrackofthingsandgettingworkdone.
I’vealwayshadsometroublewiththesethings,butit’srecentlybeengettingworse.”
—50-year-oldhomemakerandmother
6 Mike 119
“MydadalwayssaidthatI’msmartbutjustlazy;maybehe’sright.Igotputon
academicprobation,andnowIhavetodropout.I’malwaysspacingoutandcan’t
getmyselfstartedonanythinguntilthelastminute.Itriedmyfriend’sADHD
medicineandithelpedalot,butmydaddoesn’twantmegettingevaluatedfor
ADHDbecausehesaysthemedsarelikesteroids.”
—21-year-olduniversitystudent
7 Lisa 137
“Otherkidsdon’tseemtogetmyjokesandaren’tinterestedinwhoIam.Itryto
makefriends,butnooneevercallsmebackwhenIcallthem.Itrytotalkwithmy
parentsaboutit,butmydaddoesn’tunderstandkidsandmymom’salwaysyellingat
me.ADHDmedshelpmegetschoolworkdone,buttheydon’thelpwithsocialstuff.”
—15-year-oldhighschoolstudent
8 Steve 155
“Mywifedivorcedmethreemonthsago,andthenamonthlaterIgotfiredfrommy
job—bothbecauseofmyADHD!Medshelpsome,butnotenough.Igetstuckdoing
somethingsanddon’tgetaroundtodoingwhat’sreallyimportant.Iprocrastinate,
andeverythingtakesmewaytoolong.I’mgoodatprogrammingcomputers,butnot
atprogrammingmyself.”
—32-year-oldcomputerprogrammer
9 Sue 169
“UntilIgotintomiddleschool,Ialwaysgotreallygoodgradesandnevergotinto
trouble.NoweverybodythinksI’mhopelessjustbecauseIdressGothanddon’tdo
muchhomework.Myparentsandteachersalllookdownonmejustbecauseofthe
friendsIhangoutwith.Theydon’treallyknowmeormyfriends!”
—14-year-oldhighschoolstudent
contents vii
10 Matt 185
“WhenIwasinhighschool,Ihadfriends.WhenIgottocollege,Ididn’tknow
anyoneandwastooshytomakefriends.Ijustkepttomyselfandalmostneverleft
myroomexcepttogotoclassorgetmeals.Igotprettydepressed,andafterawhile
mysleepgotmessedup.I’vestoppedgoingtosomeofmyclasses.”
—18-year-oldcollegestudent
11 Lois 203
“Iteachspecialeducation,soI’vetaughtalotofkidswithADHD,butneverrealized
Ihaveit.Ihavetroubleorganizingmystuffandfinishingpaperworkontime,and
sometimesI’mforgetful.IgotthroughcollegeandI’vebeenteachingfortenyears,
butoverthepastyearI’vehadahardertime,andthoseADHDproblemsaregetting
worse—especiallysincedifficultiesathomebegan.”
—37-year-oldschoolteacher
12 James 219
“IfIdon’tfinishfourpapersthismonth,I’mgoingtobeputonprobationatschool.I
justcan’tgetmyselftofinish.I’vehadthisproblemforalongtime,butnowit’sworse
thaneverbefore.I’vedonetheresearchformostofmypapers,butIcan’tgetmyself
pastthefirstparagraphinanyoneofthem.I’mstuck!”
—20-year-oldcollegestudent
13 Getting Unstuck 235
Howdotheemotionsoftheseteensandadultsaffecttheireducation,work,family
interactions,andsocialrelationships?Whattreatmentsareusefulforhelpingpeople
withADHDgetunstuckfromthesedifficulties?Whatcanfamilymembers,friends,
teachers,clinicians,andcounselorsdotohelp?
QuestionsforDiscussion 243
NotesandAdditionalReading 251
Index 267