SIBLING SEXUAL ABUSE

347 Pages·2011·1.07 MB·English

by  Anne Welfare

SIBLING SEXUAL ABUSE: UNDERSTANDING ALL FAMILY
MEMBERS’ EXPERIENCES IN THE AFTERMATH OF
DISCLOSURE

Anne Louise Welfare

Bachelor of Science (Melbourne University, 1982)
Bachelor of Arts (hons) (Melbourne University, 1982)
Master of Family Therapy (La Trobe University, 1996)

This thesis was submitted in total fulfilment of the requirements
for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Degree

The Bouverie Centre
Faculty of Health Sciences

La Trobe University
Bundoora, Victoria, 3086
Australia

September, 2010

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

The opportunity to undertake this research arose when I was offered a three year
Dean’s Scholarship from the Faculty of Health Sciences, La Trobe University. I thank
La Trobe University and the Health Sciences faculty for this chance to pursue study in
an area that had long been neglected and one that attracts no grant opportunities.

I have worked for nearly 30 years at The Bouverie Centre, Victoria’s Family
Institute. This is a centre that values excellence and promotes research although most of
its activity is centred on provision of family therapy, postgraduate training and
community consultation. In order for me to do this research, I needed the support of my
colleagues from Bouverie and this was generously offered. I took five years off working
as a lecturer and clinician at this centre, leaving a burden of extra work for many of my
colleagues. I thank our past Director, Dr Colin Reiss for his total support in this
endeavour and now our new Director, Jeff Young. I particularly want to thank my
immediate supervisor, Robyn Elliott, as the last two years in particular have been
difficult as this study has been completed within a busy schedule of providing lectures to
our many postgraduate students. Robyn’s generosity has enabled me the degree of
flexibility to juggle all activities.

My first and long-term supervisor was Dr Jenny Dwyer. Jenny and I also
worked for many years together in the Sexual Abuse Team at the Bouverie Centre.
Jenny provided wise counsel in the setting up of this study. It was both stimulating and
joyful to have a supervisor who conceptualised in the same way as myself and held
similar values. Nevertheless, Jenny still had the capacity to challenge me as well as
support me. Thank you, Jenny, and I hope we will continue to work together in the field
and produce papers together.

Toward the end of this work, as I was producing many drafts of chapters, I was
taken under the wing of A/Prof Amaryll Perlesz. Amaryll became my primary
supervisor in the last eighteen months of this marathon and provided hours and hours of
learned support of my writing and theorising. I am truly indebted to Amaryll’s
extraordinary capacity to work relentlessly throughout my process of writing. I boast to
other doctoral students that she often returned a draft chapter with copious and valuable
comments within HOURS! Amaryll has been honoured by many awards in the
Australian family therapy field due to her amazing personal contribution. However, she
does not sacrifice support of others to achieve her own publishing and research outputs.
Thank you, Amaryll. This dissertation would not have been completed without your
support at every level.

My family has been amazing in their sustained practical and emotional support
over the years. My partner of 33 years, Mark Brentnall had no hesitation in supporting
me to embark on the doctoral journey although I know, like me, he had no notion of the
impact it would have on our lives. For many periods in the past ten years, he has lost
his companion, lost financial security and lost holidays as I locked myself away. He has
been stoic in these losses but is looking forward to a renewed phase in our life. Thank
you for your patience, Mark, and your love that has helped you wait for my return to
you.

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My three daughters, Elise, Eleanor and Charlotte, were aged 11 to 15 when I
commenced this work. They are all now grown up and my youngest, Charlotte, turns 21
on the day this thesis is submitted: my two babies come of age. They have had to learn
to share their mother with the research. I hope this has had a positive side and modelled
a love of learning. My parents-in-law, Ruth and Ron Brentnall, have provided
incredible practical support in the care of my children in the early stages of this study.
They collected them from school every day and dropped them at home – a round trip of
an hour. They have also provided the back-up emotional support of my children – if I
was pre-occupied, I knew that they would be attuned to the needs of my children and
alert me. Thanks to Ruth and Ron, my children were surrounded by loving adults even
when their mother disappeared at times.

My parents live in the country but have also provided me with sustained
emotional support throughout this time. My father, James Welfare, has been proud of
his daughter and has never doubted that I would complete this work. He became
seriously ill last year but continued to be interested in the progress of this dissertation.
My mother, Val Welfare, has been my emotional rock and best friend. We talk
frequently on the phone but I know that the impact of this study has meant that I have
not visited them enough and been with them in the ways that they deserve. Thank you,
Mum and Dad, for believing in me and teaching me what true care and connectedness of
children involves. Also my brother, Robert Welfare, has always maintained his interest
and support of my research. He lives in Darwin and organised several trips for me to
visit and stay in an apartment to write. Thank you, Robert, for this support and the
valuing of my work.

I want to thank all my colleagues and friends who work in the sexual abuse field
who have been so supportive of my research and assisted when I was despairing at being
able to recruit. Without your practical assistance there would not have been a study and
without your enthusiasm I would have given up. I want to thank Susan Manderson for
her exacting transcribing work - she was the third transcriber I tried and she was able to
truly transform the dialogue into words.

Most particularly, I want to thank the 40 people who generously talked to me
about their experiences. This was not an easy process and many other potential
participants could not abide the idea of talking to a researcher about their pain and
trauma. I thank you all for your bravery and generosity in providing the interviews for
this research and the material for thinking about recovery. I hope that I have represented
you well and that you can be proud of your contribution to the research and the field.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I
TABLE OF CONTENTS III
LIST OF TABLES VIIII
ABSTRACT IX
STATEMENT OF AUTHORSHIP XI
CHAPTER ONE: CONTEXT AND PREAMBLE 1
CHAPTER TWO: OVERVIEW OF THE LITERATURE IN SIBLING SEXUAL
ABUSE 9
What Is Sibling Sexual Abuse? 9
The confusion of definition. 9
Differentiating normal childhood sexual exploration from sibling sexual abuse. 11
What is known about SSA 13
Prevalence. 13
Age Differences. 14
Pattern of the Offending Behaviour. 15
Disclosure of Sibling Sexual Abuse. 16
Journey of Recognition of SSA in Research and Therapy 17
In the Beginning: The Family As The Locus Of Blame For Sibling Sexual Abuse 20
Survivors: The Impact of the Sibling Sexual Abuse and Pathways to Their
Recovery 28
Impact: PTSD/DESNOS 28
Is there an idiosyncratic impact for SSA compared to IGSA? 29
Neurobiological aspects of impact. 31
Connections between the severity and nature of the SA and the impact. 32
Variables that minimise impact. 33
Individual coping styles and parental support. 33
Re-viewing attachment: the importance of attachment to recovery of childhood
sexual abuse. 34
Pathways to recovery for sisters. 36

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Understanding the Complexity and Diversity of Child and Adolescent Sexually
Abusive Behaviour 38
Differences between adolescent sexually abusive behaviours and adult sexual
offending. 38
Recognising diversity: typologies for adolescents who sexually offend. 39
Factors that might contribute to the development of adolescent sexually abusive
behaviour. 40
Prior victimisation. 40
Sexual victimisation. 41
Early exposure to pornography. 42
Physical victimisation. 42
Emotional victimisation. 43
Attachment Problems. 43
Co-morbid Problems. 45
Models to explain sexually abusive behaviour. 46
Recovery pathways. 49
Other Family Members: What are their Experiences and Recovery Needs? 52
The Family as the Locus of Recovery: Increasing Awareness of Good
Attachments 53
Rationale for the Research 57
RESEARCH FOCUS 61
Aim 61
Research Questions 61
Goals 61
CHAPTER THREE: METHODOLOGY 63
The Research Paradigm: Interpretivism/Constructivism 63
The Method Journey 65
Ethical Considerations 69
Recruitment 70
Data Collection: Interviews 74
Analysis and Interpretation 78
Journal writing. 79
Memo writing. 80
Coding 81
Trustworthiness and Rigour 87
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Limitations of the Research 91
CHAPTER FOUR: THE VOICES OF ABUSED SISTERS 93
Introduction to the Sisters 93
Age Differences and Experiences of the Abuse 94
Nature of the Abuse 97
Disclosure Experiences 99
Disclosure decisions. 101
Fear of Loss of the family or Important Relationships. 101
Protection of fragile parents: “I can’t deal with supporting her as well as myself.”
103
Emotional protection of parents: “I can’t destroy mum and dad’s life.” 104
Lack of protection from parent: “I am not going to tell the person (my mother) who
was emotionally and physically abusing me”…. “It’s not going to make any
difference”… “It will be my fault.” 107
Protection of brother. 109
The myth of the perfect family: “Keeping up appearances.” 109
“I did not think I was complicit in the abuse.” 110
Summary of disclosure decisions. 110
Sisters’ experiences of the disclosure reaction from family members. 111
Parents gave nurturance and care. 113
Need for validation: “I want my parents to be shocked and distressed about this.”
116
Lack of importance of brother’s response to disclosure. 117
I want my parents to arbitrate justice: Legal justice versus intimate justice 119
Disbelief. 122
Avoidant parents: “Sweeping it under the carpet.” 124
Blamed: “You’ve wrecked the family.” 126
Blamed for not recovering: “Get over it” 127
Brother’s needs were prioritised. 127
Impact of the SSA and Recovery for Sisters 129
Impact of the Abuse. 129
Trauma symptoms. 129
Relational Issues. 129
Vocational/Academic impact. 131
Anger. 132
What is Recovery? 133
Linking Recovery and Disclosure Experiences 135
Summary 137
CHAPTER FIVE: BROTHERS WHO HAVE SEXUALLY ABUSED 139
Introduction to the Five Brothers 139
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The Brothers’ Experiences of Discovery 142
No memories: “My sister is insane.” 143
Reviewing memories and challenging distortions of complicity: “It was like kids
playing games.” 145
Understanding “my sister’s trauma and pain.” 149
Crisis of identity: “Am I someone who is a predator?” 152
Public and internalised shame. 154
Suicidality. 157
Implications of the Discovery 160
How can I be part of the family after this? 160
What does this mean to my partner and our relationship? 163
Can I fix it? 165
Brothers’ Understandings of Why They Abused 167
What is Good Recovery? 171
The process of accountability. 172
Systemic theory and accountability. 177
Finding integrity and self respect. 178
Summary. 179
CHAPTER SIX: VOICES AND JOURNEY OF PARENTS 181
Introduction to the Parents 181
Experience of the Disclosure/Discovery for Parents 183
Incomprehension and the complexities of belief and validation. 184
Shock and trauma. 187
Loss of identity. 188
Ambiguity of family integrity/intactness. 189
Shame and secrecy. 191
Self-blame and guilt: “I feel like I failed them.” 192
How do I Act and Manage this? 195
There are no “road maps” or “guidebooks.” 195
Should I take control? 196
I have to fix this. 198
Is it possible to care for and support both children? 198
Impact on Relationship with Daughter 202
Prior to Disclosure: “I was like the black and the white witch all in one.” 203
Ambivalence of Protection toward Parent: “She felt she had no choice but to protect
me.” 203
She can’t tell me the details of the abuse. 205
Anger: “I am on tenterhooks that she will attack – it is like being with a venomous
snake.” 206
My daughter is angry at my response to the disclosure. 208
Loss of relationship with daughter: “It just looked like all the world had daughters and
I didn't.” 210
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Relationship with Son 210
“He wants to kills himself.” 211
Protection of son. 213
Complexity of care: Supporting AND confronting son. 213
Justice and accountability: “She wants me to punish him.” 214
Recovery Pathways for Parents: Acceptance and Hopefulness for the Future 217
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE FAINT VOICES OF “OTHER SIBLINGS” 219
Introduction to Other Siblings 219
Belief and Disbelief for Other Siblings 223
Awareness of brother’s sexually inappropriate behaviour. 223
Prior relationship with siblings and view of family. 225
Prior role of other siblings in the family. 228
Impact for Other Siblings 231
Shock and shame. 231
Disconnection and change of family structure and identity. 232
Burden of care. 233
Taking sides. 233
Differences in View of Accountability and Justice 234
Summary 238
CHAPTER EIGHT: INTEGRATION OF THE FINDINGS AND CLINICAL
IMPLICATIONS FOR SSA 239
Timing of the Disclosure 240
Emotional Connectedness and Parental Care for both Sisters and Brothers 243
Daughter-Parent Connectedness. 244
Brother-Parent Connectedness. 246
Connectedness/Attachment in SSA. 247
Justice 249
Accountability 252
Sisters’ Anger 255
Forgiveness 256
Family Integrity, Grief and Adaptation 259
Recommendations for Clinical Intervention 262
Directions for Future Research 275
Conclusion 278
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APPENDIX A 281
Ethic Informed Consent Forms 281
APPENDIX B 290
Printout of Coding of Data from NVivo 290
APPENDIX C 308
Sibling Incest Severity Scale (Carlson et al, 2006) 308
APPENDIX D 309
Scoring for 17 Sisters on the Sibling Incest Severity Scale (Carlson et al, 2006) 309
APPENDIX E 310
Publications Arising From This Research and Previous Publications and
Conference Proceedings in the Area of Childhood Sexual Abuse. 310
REFERENCES 361

LIST OF TABLES

Table 1 Sisters’ Age of Abuse, Type of Abuse, Age of Disclosure and 95
Age at Interview

Table 2 Degree of Parental Support at Initially and at Time of Interview 112

Table 3 The Impact of the SSA for Each of the Sisters 130

Table 4 Brothers’ Age of Abusive Behaviours, Type of Abuse, Age at 141
Disclosure and Explanations

Table 5 Parents Interviewed, Marital Status, Coded Responses to the 182
Disclosure

Table 6 Other Siblings’ Family History and Their Role in the Family 221

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