Short-term couples therapy: the Imago model in action PDF
Preview Short-term couples therapy: the Imago model in action
Short-Term Couples Therapy Second Edition Short-Term Couples Therapy Second Edition The Imago Model in Action WADE LUQUET Foreword by Harville Hendrix New York London Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business Based upon the concepts of Imago Relationship Therapy© and the couples workshops developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of the best-selling works Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. Routledge Routledge Taylor & Francis Group Taylor & Francis Group 270 Madison Avenue 2 Park Square New York, NY 10016 Milton Park, Abingdon Oxon OX14 4RN © 2007 by Wade Luquet Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis Group, an Informa business Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 International Standard Book Number-10: 0-415-95380-4 (Softcover) International Standard Book Number-13: 978-0-415-95380-1 (Softcover) No part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying, microfilming, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the publishers. Trademark Notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation with- out intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Luquet, Wade. Short-term couples therapy : the Imago model in action / Wade Luquet.--2nd. ed. p. ; cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-415-95380-4 (pb : alk. paper) 1. Marital psychotherapy. 2. Brief psychotherapy. 3. Communication in marriage. I. Title. [DNLM: 1. Marital Therapy--methods. 2. Couples Therapy--methods. 3. Interpersonal Relations. 4. Psychotherapy, Bried--methods. WM 430.5.M3 L966s 2007] RC488.5.L826 2007 616.89’1562--dc22 2006009559 Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at http://www.taylorandfrancis.com and the Routledge Web site at http://www.routledgementalhealth.com To Marianne, my friend for life. To Cory, Alex, and Aubree, may you always look at the world with awe. CONTENTS List of Homework/Handout Sheets for the Couple xi Foreword to the Second Edition xiii Preface to the Second Edition xv Foreword to the First Edition xvii Preface to the First Edition xxi How to Use his Book xxv 1 Making Couples herapy Work: Start With the Basic Ingredients 1 First, a Temperature Check 2 A Base of Respect and Trust 3 Basic Couples Skills 4 he Research of John Gottman 4 Emotional Intimacy as a Key to Attachment 5 Putting All the Ingredients Together 12 2 Introduction to Imago Relationship heory and herapy 15 Cupid and Psyche 16 Romantic Love 17 he Imago and the Brain 18 he Power Struggle 20 Commitment, Safety, Couples Dialogue, and the Stretching Principle 28 Reimaging Your Partner 32 he Container Process 33 Cupid and Psyche Revisited 34 3 Couples Dialogue: he Essential Skill 37 Couples Dialogue 38 Case Study: Mike and Linda 41 he Gremlins Under the Behavior 43 What Does Couples Dialogue Do? 45 vii viii • Contents 4 Session One: he Cosmic Journey, the Brain, and Couples Dialogue 55 Connection: An Important Goal of the First Session 56 About the Lecture 59 Couples Dialogue 63 Dave and Diana: A Case Study 68 Dave and Diana: Session One 70 Session One 75 5 Session Two: Development, Childhood Experiences, and Mate Selection 79 Starting the Session 80 About the Lecture 80 About the Guided Imagery 81 Dave and Diana: Session Two 89 Session Two 92 6 Session hree: Developing Empathy and Reimaging the Partners 95 Starting he Session 96 Filling Out the “My Imago” Form 96 Using the Imago Workup 97 About the Lecture 97 Parent–Child Dialogue 99 he Holding Position 101 Dave and Diana: Session hree 102 Session hree 107 7 Session Four: Reromanticizing the Relationship 111 Starting the Session 112 About the Lecture 112 Caring Behaviors Exercise 114 Little Surprises Exercise 115 Belly Laughs Exercise 116 Mutual Relationship Vision Homework 117 Dave and Diana: Session Four 118 Session Four 122 8 Session Five: Restructuring Frustrations 125 Starting the Session 126 About the Lecture 126 Behavior Change Request Process 129 Dave and Diana: Session Five 133 Session Five 139 9 Session Six: Resolving Rage 143 An Option 144 Starting the Session 145 About the Lecture 146 he Container Process 147 Contents • ix Follow-Up Plan 151 Dave and Diana: Session Six 151 Outcome Measures 155 Ten Years Later: A Follow-Up 156 Session Six 158 10 After the herapy 161 Follow-Up Plan 162 11 Being Creative With the Basic Format and Working With Special Populations 167 An Eight-session Format 168 A 10-Session Format 169 A 12-Session Format 170 Additional Exercises 171 Special Treatment Populations 174 What If the herapy Does Not Work? 177 12 Case Studies 183 Staging in Couples herapy 183 “Just Fix It!” 195 Early Wounded Couples 198 he Rigid-Difuse Couple 201 Conclusion 208 Appendix I: Resources 209 Appendix II: he Eicacy of Short-Term Imago herapy 213 Appendix III: Brief Report 219 References 229 Acknowledgments from the First Edition 231 Homework and Handout Sheets for Couples 233
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