Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New Heights of Sexual Arousal and Intimacy PDF
Preview Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New Heights of Sexual Arousal and Intimacy
SEXUAL PLEASURE Reaching New Heights Sexual of Arousal & intimacy Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. Best-selli •llM&MJXAdl — Sexual "Pleasure No matter what your level of experience or satisfaction with your sex life, you can benefit from the increased sense of play- fulness and deeper sensual enjoyment that the ideas in Sexual Pleasure will add to your lovemaking. By following the exercises and focusing on what truly pleases you, you and your lover will discover a new world o( wondrous and revitalized sex. Sexual Pleasure will teach you: simple body image work and self-caress techniques to lay the foundation for profound sensual awareness the essential differences between female and male arousal, and how they can complement each other for maximum pleasure how to focus attention at the exact point of touch — whether you are touching or being touched which makes you forget your anxieties and reduces perform- ance pressure how to last longer: exercises to intensify your arousal and prolong sexual pleasure ways to build trust, enhance intimacy, and heighten the desire between you and your partner Digitized by the Internet Archive 2012 in http://archive.org/details/sexualpleasurereOOkees SEXUAL ASU PLE RE New Reaching Heights of Sexual Arousal & Intimacy Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. ^Bfel © Copyright 1993 by Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. Photographs reprintedfrom Erotic by Nature: A Celebration ofLife, ofLove, andof OurWonderfulBodies, DavidSteinberg, ed., DownThere Press/RedAlderBooks, 1988. © 1988 by David Steinberg. Reprinted by permission. Illustrations in Appendix A reprintedfrom The Fertility Awareness Handbook © 1981 Barbara Kass-Annese and Hal Danzer, Hunter House Inc., Publishers 1992. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. No part ofthis publication may be reproducedor transmitted in anyform or by any means, electronic or mechanical, includingphotocopying and recording, or introduced into any information storage and retrievalsystem without the writtenpermissionofthecopyrightownerandthepublisher ofthis book. Brief quotations may be used in reviews preparedfor inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, orbroadcast Forfurther information, please contact: Hunter House Inc., Publishers P.O. Box 2914 Alameda, CA 94501-0914 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Keesling, Barbara. Sexual pleasure : reachingnew heights ofsexual arousal and intimacy/ Barbara Keesling. p. cm. — Includes index. ISBN 0-89793-149-1 : $21.95 ISBN 0-89793-148-3 (pbk.) : $12.95 1. Sex instruction 2. Sex (Psychology) I. Title. HQ31.K393 1993 613.9'6—dc20 93-23625 ORDERING: Trade bookstores and wholesalers in the U.S. andCanada, please contact: PublishersGroupWest 4065 HollisStreet, Box 8843 Emeryville CA94608 Phone: (800) 788-3123 Fax: (510) 658-1834 Special sales: Hunter House books are available at special discountsfor sales promotions, organizations, premiums, fundraising, and foreducational use. Fordetails please contact: Special Sales Department Hunter House Inc., Publishers P.O. Box 2914 AlamedaCA 94501-0914 Phone: (510) 865-5282 Fax: (510) 865-4295 Cover Design: Timm Sinclair andJil Weil Bookdesign: Qpfatfrapfiia Project Editor: Lisa E. Lee Editor: Deborah A. Grandinetti Production Manager: PaulJ. Frindt Marketing: Conine M. Sahli Promotion: Robin Donovan CustomerService: Laura O'Brien Fulfillment: SergioGaspari Publisher: Kiran S. Rana Printed and bound by Publishers Press, Salt Lake CityUT Manufactured in the United States ofAmerica 9 8 7 6 First edition Contents Acknowledgments xi Introduction Making Love Better than Ever 1 Who Can Use This Book? What You'll Find in Sexual Pleasure How to Use This Book A Personal Note Part I Sensational Sexuality Chapter 1 The Touch That Transforms Sex 10 Touch for Your Own Pleasure Focus on Sensations Stay in the Here and Now Eliminate Expectations from Your Touch Benefits ofTouching Chapter 2 Relaxation to Heighten Your Pleasure Response 21 The Physiology of Relaxation Increasing Your Relaxation Response The Brain, Relaxation, and Arousal Relaxation and Touching Anxious Thoughts But What If the Pressure is Real? Chapter 3 Learning the Ways of Your Body 32 Enhancing Touch with Sensuous Oils and Lubricants Chapter 4 Partner Caresses That Kindle Desire 49 How Sensate Focus Exercises Stir up Desire The Benefits of These Basic Exercises SEXUAL PLEASURE vi Part II Sexual Arousal and Men Chapter 5 The Male Sexual Pleasure Cycle 68 Male Sexual Response Sexual Desire Arousal Erection Orgasm Ejaculation Chapter 6 Making the Pleasure Last and Last 78 Chapter 7 Getting Better and Better (Erections) All the Time 91 Techniques for Erection Filling and Hardness Chapter 8 Ejaculation and Orgasm: From Ordinary to Extraordinary 105 Increasing Penile Sensitivity Advanced Orgasm and Ejaculation Exercises Part III Sexual Arousal and Women Chapter 9 The Female Sexual Pleasure Cycle 115 The Female Sexual Response Cycle Orgasm Changes During Orgasm Using Intercourse Positions to Your Advantage The Permission Factor Chapter 10 Awakening Your Full Capacity for Arousal .... 130 Chapter 11 Sensate Focus Techniques for Sensational Orgasms 140 Using Sexual Toys in Your Solo Explorations Enjoying Orgasm with a Partner . Exercises and Bonding Explorations vii Part IV Mutuality and Intimacy Chapter 12 Strengthening the Bonds That Sustain You .... 159 Drawing Close Through Better Communication Remembering to Play — Chapter 13 Beyond Sensate Focus Sexual Healing and Ecstasy 185 Sexual Healing Ecstasy Going Forward from Here Appendix A Male and Female Sexual Anatomy 192 Appendix B Help for Common Problems 194 Erections Rapid Ejaculation Difficulties with Ejaculation Female Orgasm IfAnxiety Has Been a Concern . . Suggested Reading 201 About the Photographers 202 Index 204 Exercises and bonding Explorations Exercises Exercise 1. Belly Breathing 34 Exercise 2. Relaxation Breathing 35 Exercise 3. The Daily PC Muscle Exercise 35 Exercise 4. The Advanced PC Muscle Exercise 37 Exercise 5. Pelvic Thrusts and Rolls 38 Exercise 6. The Simple Self-Caress 40 Exercise 7. The Genital Self-Caress 41 Exercise 8. "Solo" Peaking 42 Exercise 9. "Solo" Plateauing 45 Exercise 10. The Face Caress 53 Exercise 11. The Back Caress 55 Exercise 12. The Front Caress 57 Exercise 13. The Genital Caress 59 Exercise 14. The Sensate Focus Approach to Oral Sex 64 Exercise 15. Arousal Awareness for Men 79 Exercise 16. Peaking for Men 81 Exercise 17. Male Peaking with Intercourse 83 Exercise 18. Using the PC Muscle to "Put on the Brakes" 86 Exercise 19. Plateauing for Men 87 Exercise 20. Repetitive Penetration 89
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