Serenade for a Small Family PDF
Preview Serenade for a Small Family
As a percussionist, singer and songwriter, Ingrid Laguna has toured Europe, Asia and Australia, recorded several albums, and run percussion and songwriting workshops. With performance group Ruby Fruit Jungle, she supported Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, playing at Australia’s biggest entertainment venues. In the Australian film industry, Ingrid worked as a crew member on numerous television commercials, a telemovie and a short film. She has held senior positions in arts administration. While in Central Australia, she directed the Northern Territory Youth Film Festival and was integral to the Kunka Career Conference for Aboriginal Women, the Indigenous Music Awards, and music programs for Aboriginal youths. She is currently studying media and communications at Swinburne University in Melbourne. This page intentionally left blank nade Sere for a Small Family I N G R I D L A G U N A First published in 2010 Copyright © Ingrid Laguna 2010 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act. Allen & Unwin 83 Alexander Street Crows Nest NSW 2065 Australia Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100 Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218 Email: [email protected] Web: www.allenandunwin.com Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available from the National Library of Australia www.librariesaustralia.nla.gov.au ISBN 978 1 74237 245 7 Illustration on page 227 and chapter detail by Madeleine Meyer Text design by Lisa White Set in 12/18 pt Bembo by Bookhouse, Sydney Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 The paper in this book is FSC certified. FSC promotes environmentally responsible, socially beneficial and economically viable management of the world’s forests. These are my memories. Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of others. ‘We never know how high we are Till we are called to rise . . .’ Emily Dickinson, 1830–1886 Part One This page intentionally left blank 1 Mum, Benny and I were having dinner on yet another hot December night in Alice Springs when I felt a tightening squeeze around my abdomen and lower back, way too early in my pregnancy. My fork clinked as I half dropped it onto my plate. ‘I think I’ll go and sit on the couch for a minute.’ Mum and Benny turned to me, and the candle flickered. I bit the corner of my lip until it stung. ‘What’s happening, Inky?’ asked Benny. ‘You okay?’ The tightening was starting again. ‘Umm . . . n ot sure . . . actually I think I’m going to call the hospital.’ Two rings and a woman answered. ‘It’s probably nothing,’ she said. ‘But best to come in and get it checked out.’ 3 I N G R I D L A G U N A While Benny drove, I lay along the back seat with my knees up and my hands splayed over my tightly pregnant belly. He was beside me when the obstetrician spoke: ‘I’m sorry . . . you’re two centimetres dilated.’ Ben and I had been through hell to get me pregnant. I wailed long and loud from deep deep down, my eyes squeezed shut. Not this, not this. ‘Shhhh, Inky . . . Shhhh!’ Ben leant over me and turned my face towards his. ‘Inky . . . Inky!’ His tone was firm. ‘There’s still a chance but you have to stay calm . . .’ I was given pills to delay labour, and I didn’t give birth that night. Contractions were further apart for a while, but by morning they were close together again. ‘Will the babies be alive when they are born?’ I asked the midwife. She looked into my eyes and for a couple of beats said nothing. ‘They will probably gasp for air and then they will stop breathing.’ They will stop breathing because they are coming out too soon, I thought, filled with panic. If they stayed in, they would not stop breathing. This is my fault. A social worker was sent in to talk to us. ‘Will we see the babies?’ I asked. ‘It’s up to you,’ she said. ‘Some people like to hold their babies and others don’t.’ I tried to picture them, but I didn’t know what they would look like. I should want to hold them but I don’t know. 4
The list of books you might like
