Secrets of the Sex Masters

279 Pages·2014·2.55 MB·English

by  Carl Frankel (ed.)

ABOUT MANGO GARDEN PRESS AND
THE CENTER FOR THE INTIMATE ARTS
Mango Garden Press is the publishing arm of Sheri Winston’s Center for the
Intimate Arts. The mission of Mango Garden Press and the Center for the
Intimate Arts is to provide empowering, enlightening, entertaining erotic
education for everyone.
We envision a world where sex is understood, honored and free from shame,
where our bodies’ ecstatic potential is explored and celebrated, and relationships
are based on integrity, compassion and love.
Our products and services include:
In-person and online classes, workshops and presentations for lay people
and professionals.
Individual and couples coaching and counseling (in-person and via
phone/skype).
Books in digital and hard-copy format, which we publish via our imprint,
Mango Garden Press. For more information, visit
MANGOGARDENPRESS.COM.
Articles, written blogs and video ‘vlogs’ by Sheri Winston and Carl
Frankel. These can be found on our website as well in articles by Carl
Frankel at YourTango.com.
For more information or to sign up for our newsletter, please visit us at
INTIMATEARTSCENTER.COM.
©2015 Carl Frankel / Mango Garden Press
COVER & INTERIOR DESIGN: Tilman Reitzle
ILLUSTRATIONS: Christopher King/Dreamstime (cover);
Sheri Winston (Chapters 1 and 16) ; Amy Noseworthy (Chapter 2)
PHOTO CREDITS: FlamingPumpkin/iStock (cover & title page);
AUTHOR PHOTO IDENTIFIER (BACK COVER)—clockwise, from bottom left: Patricia
Taylor, Karen B.K. Chan, Carl Frankel, Jessica O’Reilly, Reid Mihalko, Sheri
Winston, Charles Muir, Caroline Muir, Joseph Kramer, Eve Minax, Michael
Winn, Jaeleen Bennis, Charlie Glickman, Megan Andelloux, Carlyle Jansen,
Tallulah Sulis, Ernest Greene, Nadine Thornhill, Nina Hartley, Jon Pressick
ISBN 978-0-9898138-4-6
Library of Congress #: 2014917112
Mango Garden Press
PO Box 3184
Kingston, NY 12402
www.MangoGardenPress.com
Printed on Forest Stewardship Council-certified, 30% post-consumer recycled
paper.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
ESSENTIAL INFORMATION
1. The Dance of Anatomy and Energy—Sheri Winston
2. Sensational Oral Sex—Carlyle Jansen
3. Anal Sex—Jon Pressick
4. Power Exchange—Nina Hartley and Ernest Greene
5. Touch—Joseph Kramer
FREEING MIND, HEART AND BODY
6. Accessing the Lover Within—Caroline Muir
7. Sex as Improv and Creative Play—Karen B.K. Chan
8. Sex and Shame—Charlie Glickman
9. Keeping the Flame Alive—Jessica O’Reilly & Nadine Thornhill
10. Eroticizing Safer Sex—Eve Minax
11. Fantasy, Role Play and Communication—Megan Andelloux
ADVANCED SKILLS AND SPECIAL TREATS
12. Expanded Female Orgasm—Patricia Taylor
13. Non-Ejaculatory Male Orgasm—Michael Winn
14. Female Ejaculation—Tallulah Sulis
15. Bondassage—Jaeleen Bennis
16. Tantra—Charles Muir
17. Energy Sex—Reid Mihalko
Resources
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they
are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Erotic Happiness.
—The U.S. Declaration of Independence
[tweaked]
Acknowledgments
NO BOOK IS TRULY A SOLO PROJECT. Authors are influenced by friends, lovers,
family, other writers and much more. This is true for bad writing, it’s true for
good writing, and it’s especially true for this work, which would not exist but for
the contributions of the sex masters of the title.
So: My heartfelt thanks to the ‘sexperts’ who contributed their time,
knowledge and talents to this project: Carlyle Jansen, Caroline Muir, Charles
Muir, Charlie Glickman, Ernest Greene, Eve Minax, Jaeleen Bennis, Jessica
O’Reilly, Jon Pressick, Joseph Kramer, Karen B.K. Chan, Megan Andelloux,
Michael Winn, Nadine Thornhill, Nina Hartley, Patti Taylor, Reid Mihalko,
Sheri Winston and Tallulah Sulis. I am grateful to you both for appreciating the
project’s potential and for your collegial collaboration.
A special shout-out goes to my life and business partner Sheri Winston,
who also contributed a chapter. As I write this, we’ve been together going on
nine years. Through and alongside her, I have come to know an extraordinary
community of people who are individually and collectively committed to
creating a world with a healthy, responsible, celebratory attitude towards sex.
These people are passionate about their vision; they are passionate about
passion; and some of the best and most passionate contributed to this book.
Sheri, thank you for introducing me to this fun and fascinating world.
Thank you for the many gifts you’ve given me. Thank you for your integrity,
intelligence, companionship and support.
Thanks also to our colleagues Bryan Thomlison, Fatima Nasim and
Cynthia S. for keeping our business humming while my head was down in this
book.
Thank you, Val Vadeboncoeur, for your stellar proofing and copy-editing
contributions. And thank you, Leilani Arenas, for being such a courteous, skilled
and easy to work with transcriber.
Thank you, Tilman Reitzle. You are a book-design orisha. Sheri and I
place offerings at your altar—and in your bank account—regularly.
*

When Sheri and I first got together, I was middle-aged. Which makes me
middler-aged now. It’s said that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but I beg,
woof woof, to differ. I’ve learned new tricks. Sex-master tricks.
Compiling and editing this book has been good for me. I hope it will be
good for you, too.
Introduction
by Carl Frankel
WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT APTITUDES. Joe is great at math but terrible at reading
social signals. Carl’s smooth in the salon, but present him with a mechanical
challenge and he becomes a small domestic animal confronting a Rubik’s Cube.
Some people—the lucky ones—are gifted at sex. Really gifted at sex.
These are the sex masters of this book’s title. They’re clear channels about
matters erotic.
For many of us, sex is as confusing as it is compelling. For this we can
thank, if that’s the word for it, a triumvirate of factors: the hugely powerful
nature of the sex drive, the urgent need to control it so as not to harm ourselves
and others—kind of like managing a hurricane—and, last but not least, our
culture’s ignorant, misguided and often sex-negative views about the entire
territory. Put these together—the power of lust, our need to channel it, and our
culture’s wildly mixed messages—and it’s no wonder that a great many of us
don’t know which end is up when it comes to that wild energy running through
our loins.
The sex masters of these pages missed out on all that confusion, or got
past it somehow. They see sex for what it really is, beyond and behind all the
trappings it comes bedecked in. And what do they see, exactly?
A magnificent gift.
An unparalleled way to connect.
A source of amazing pleasure.
And, on a parallel note, they see a human tragedy in all the sex-negativity
that’s out there.
They also know how good sex can be, which is a lot better than your
average bear—or human—believes possible. They understand that there’s sex
the way it’s usually done, and there’s sex the mind-blowing, boundary-busting,
better-than-you-could-ever-imagine way. And they see both kinds of sex—but
especially the second kind of sex, the ‘supersex’ kind of sex, the sex that so
many people don’t know about—as our erotic birthright.
The usual sexual scenario features limited foreplay, a single ejaculatory
orgasm by the man and an orgasm or two by the woman . . . sometimes, maybe.
(This is, of course, the heterosexual version. Adjust as appropriate for
(This is, of course, the heterosexual version. Adjust as appropriate for
gay.)
And then there’s the insanely ecstatic alternative—leisurely foreplay that
can lead to full-body, non-ejaculatory ‘dry’ orgasms for the man and massive
‘megasms’ for the woman that continue for hours and hours.
To do Shakespeare a gross disservice: There are more things in heaven
and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your pornography.
If this sounds over the top—the sex, not the wordplay—it’s not. I’ve both
witnessed and experienced these things and I’m not even a sex master. The
difference between your usual sex and the amazing, transcendent sex that these
sex masters teach and practice is like the difference between a country-club golf
champion and a touring pro. Same sport, different league.
Are these people special? Yes—they have secret knowledge—and no—
they’re just folks. With the right attitude and information—all laid out in these
pages—you can, as they say, have what they’re having.
That’s why I curated this project. So you could be a sex master, too.
Not Just Technical Guidance
When I launched Secrets of the Sex Masters, I assumed I’d be assembling
a range of technical guidance on how to be a great lover. And I have. In these
pages, you’ll find chapters on Tantra (Charles Muir), male non-ejaculatory
orgasm (Michael Winn), female expanded orgasm (Patti Taylor), energy sex
(Reid Mihalko), female ejaculation (Tallulah Sulis), female genital anatomy and
sexuality (Sheri Winston), oral sex (Carlyle Jansen) and anal sex (Jon Pressick).
There is technical guidance a-plenty here.
But the book turned out to be more than that. Time and again, I found
these ‘sexperts’ addressing the ‘why’ of sex along with the ‘how to.’ They kept
stressing that sex isn’t only about physical pleasure, it’s also about connecting.
Over a century ago, the novelist E.M. Forster had an improbably prescient
epigram in his novel Howard’s End: “Only connect.” It’s an attitude shared by
the sex masters, with this addendum: “And a great way to connect is through
(responsible) sex.”
What I eventually came to think of as ‘my’ sex masters also spent an
unexpected amount of time discussing our many emotional obstacles to
connecting. By the time the book was done, I had a chapter on sex and shame
(Charlie Glickman), one on (among other things) honoring our erotic fantasies
(Megan Andelloux), and another on finding the lover within (Caroline Muir).
The importance of communication also kept cropping up. When I asked