Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

297 Pages·1995·17.99 MB·English

by  Philip Miller

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New Milestonein BDSM Literature-Thirteen chapters cover allofthe BDSM Basic skillareas, both mental and
physical...the authors' irreverent, yetpractical attitude isoften hilarious, butalways useful...[including] fascinating
bondage ideaswhich haven'tbeenshown inbooks before,theoutrageously funny profilesoftypesofundesirables
one sometimes meets inthescene and online, the hilarious cartoons showing the importance ofcommunication.
The Community Standard, Arlington, Texas
Theonly REALcriticism Ihaveofthis bookisthatitistoobigtofitonthebackofmytoilet.Seriously, it's
one hellofabook. I'veread mostofthe introductory booksforperverts...this one isabsolutely andtotally thebest.
Yeah,itcoversalltheregulartopics, howtotieupandwhackyourpartnersafely,sanelyandconsensually,
and has lotsofpics anddiagrams and such.There's even bitsabout building your own equipment with plansand
all, from simple cuffs and collars to slings. It's totally jam-packed with information... Butthat's notwhy I likedthe
book.Ilikedthebookforitstreatmentofthepsychology ofdominance andsubmission.ALLTHROUGH THEBOOK
there isanawarenessofthethings Ihaveheard,felt,seen,touched andtasted since I'vebeen inthescene,things
I've never seen described anywhere else. The authors are smart-ass and silly throughout, making the book
extremely FUNto read.
Jackie Patti, quoted from the Internetnewgroupalt.sex.bondage
Brother [Philip'scomputer "handle'1and Molly didan INCREDIBLE job with this book -which hardly surprises me
considering theirwell-deserved reputation...Thebookcanbeconsidered an"S/Minstructionmanual"encompassing
the physical andemotional sidesofthe Scene -expressed with candor, clarity and alargeserving ofwit. Itcovers
everything from gags, different types of bondage including diagrams with specific how-tos, to a drawing showing
pulse points to help explain where the pressure should NOTbe placed. There are photographs and explanations
ofwhips,paddles,dungeons,sceneplayersandbondage.Alsoincludedareinstructionsonhowtomakeaspreader
bar, cuffs, whipsandaslingforsuspension. Allprojectedwith humor and explicittutorials that makeitabookthat
is VERY difficult to putdown.
Quotedfrom the Majornet's Adult Extremes Forum
It's one ofthe best manuals I've seen, taking one from beginner to advanced play. Itcombines the best of Race
Bannon's conceptual approach withthe hands-on how-toofothertexts. And happily, theappendixes alone willbe
worth thepurchase price.The addition ofanindexismarvelous and morethorough (andhelpful) thanthose found
inother books I've seen. It'sentertainingly written withthe same high good humor Ifindinthe bestteachers (and
the oneswho most lovetheir subjects andstudents alike).It's beautifully done, and Iamproud and pleasedto be
associated with your excellent work.
Robert Dante, Boudoir NoirMagazine, Toronto
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns...is a gentle and experienced guide taking the reader from the
introduction ofthe principles ofS/Mtostep-by-step instructions on how to apply and receive 'discipline'.
Intherecentpast,S/Mhascomeoutoftheclosetandisgainingpopularityamongconsensualparticipating
partners as a means to broadening the pleasures oftheir sexuality. Dominants and submissives practicing within
theguidelinesofPhilipMillerandMollyDevoninthisbookcanfindasafeandrewardingwaytomakerealityoftheir
fantasies.
S/Misnotfor everyone, especially those who are offended bysexual openness and exploration with an
eyetofindingthelimitsoftheirsexuality. Butevenforthesepeople,IwouldrecommendChaptertwo,SexualMagic,
as aprologue to thinking creatively about anytype ofsexual activity.
Dr. William Granzig, PresidentofThe American Board ofSexology
Itisan EXCELLENTbook. Afterreading manybooks,whichareallgood intheirdomain, Ifindthisbooktobethe
new,generalanddetailed S&MsceneBIBLEfornovicesandforadvance players. Theirwriting styleisararegem
to come by filledwith humour andgood sense. Itisa mustto have...
Princess Sheeba, Montreal, Canada
Itis,simplythe BESTbook Ihavereadonthe topic ofBDSM...[Philip's andMolly's] experience, inputfromothers
in the scene, and a lot of interviews and research combine to make this THE book to own! You WILL read it,
because it's good, and youWILL learn from it,cause it's allthere!
'Lite Brite", Rockport, Massachusetts
Your words about 'natural submissives' were wonderful to read after so many years ofwondering ifanyone would
everunderstand me.IwishIhadbeenexposedtosuchacceptancemuchearlier inmylife.Hopefullyyourbookwill
reach manypeople who needto hearthose words.
A memberof The English Palace BBS
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Foreword by Dr. William Granzig ,
Fairfield,Connecticut
ThecoverdesignandfrontcoverphotographarebyPhilipMillerandMollyDevon.Thebackcoverphotographis
thepropertyofJanetteHeartwoodandisusedbypermission.
ScrewtheRoses,SendMetheThoms.Copyright©1995byPhilipMillerandMollyDevon.Printedandboundin
theUnitedStatesof America.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbook maybereproducedinanyformorbyany
electronic or mechanical meansincludinginformationstorageandretrieval systemswithoutpermissioninwriting
fromthepublisher,exceptbyareviewer,whomayquotebriefpassagesinareview.Allmodelsdepictedhereinare
overtheageof 18,releasesareonfilewithMysticRoseBooks.
Publishedby
Mystic RoseBooks
P.O. Box1036/SMS
Fairfield,CT 06432.
Incooperationwith
MarrakechExpress,Inc.
720WesleyAvenue,#10
TarponSprings,FI34689
We're not lawyers,so we can'tsay whether any of this stuff is legal or .
not.Infact, mostofitprobablyis illegal where youlive,butlaws varya lotfrom
state tostate. Ofcourse,wewould nevertryanyof this stuff ourselves,beinglaw
abiding citizens, and everything you read here is pure conjecture... we don't even
fantasize aboutanyofit. Wejusteavesdropped,onenight,onsomesleazydrunks
weheardbabblingaboutitbehindabowlingalleyinBayonneandourmemories.are
impeccable.
We are not responsible for, and assume no liability for any action
undertaken by any person in utilizing this information. We not only think you're
nuts to tryanyofthis, you're obviouslyasickotoo.Anyperson,relying upon this
informationdoessoathisorherownrisk.Althoughtheauthorsandpublisherhave
exhaustivelyresearchedallsourcestoensuretheaccuracyandcompletenessofthe
information contained in this book, we assume no responsibility for errors,
inaccuracies,oromissionsoranyotherinconsistencyherein.
WewishtoexpressgreatappreciationforthearticlesbyRobertDante,MasterKenandSweetCream,andthefond
reminiscencesofJanetteHeartwoodreprintedherebyherpermission.
ISBN0-9645960-0-8
FirstEdition,firstprinting1995,twenty-sixthprinting2010
LibraryofCongressCatalogNumber95-79674
Quantitydiscountsareavailableonbulkpurchasesofthisbook. Forinformationcontact:MysticRoseBooks,P.O.
Box1036,Fairfield,CT06825 - [phone]oratwww.mysticrose.com.
Printingandbookpublishinginformationavailable fromMarrakechExpressInc,bookandpublicationprintersat
720WesleyAve.,#10,TarponSprings,Fl34689 [phone], [phone]orat www.marrak.com.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements i
The Color ofa Rose ii
Foreword by Dr. WilliamA. Granzig iii
Introduction v
1 Gee, Toto, I Don't Think WeAre In Kansas Anymore! 1
Yourhosts. Molly and Philip 2 Dominant 11
About thisbook 2 Submissive 11
What sadomasochism is 4 Natural submissivesand dominants 12
What sadomasochism is not 6 Topsand bottoms 13
Scenespeak, learning the lingo 7 Switch 13
Scene 8 Professional female dominants 15
Playing 9 Fetishist 15
Player 9 Sub-ChapterXY- Genderand sexual
Sadomasochism 9 orientation 15
Dominance and submission 9 Pronoun. pronoun. who'sgot the
Bondage and discipline 9 pronoun? 16
Thewho'swho ofSM 10 The gaySM scene 16
Masochist 10 Simple starts. safe starts 16
2 Sexual Magic
Why We Do Do That Voodoo 18
Trustand communication 24 Conditioning --Three ways to Skinnera
Talking 24 pussy 28
Learningthe bodyyou want to bludgeon 26 Visualization -- Scheherazade goes dom 29
The mind as an erogenous zone 27 Sensory relocation 31
Anticipation 27 Dominanceand submission 31
3 The Politics ofVery Strange Bedfellows
Sensible SM Relationships and Dangerous Liaisons 34
Steeringyour love-boat into the rapids 34 Public clubs 42
With 31 flavors available. whyserve Magazine and newspaperads 43
onlyvanilla? 36 Kinkgoes electronic 43
Catchinga live one 37 Would-bes,Wannabes. and other
The Law ofsupply and demand 38 forgettable characters 45
What to look for 40 The downside of the subside 47
Looking for Mr. Good-dom 40 Safety suggestions for meeting through
Seekingsuitable submissives 41 ads orBBS's 48
The hunt 42 Mistress Manners 49
Organizations &supportgroups 42
4 "YouWant To Worship My WHAT???"
Negotiation and Relationships 51
Compatibility 52 Level 4 -The Covenant of Dominance
The Ideal Dominant 53 and Submission 58
The Ideal Submissive 54 Level 5 -Absolute Ownership 59
Negotiating sexin SM 55 Ownership and Lifestylers 59
Levels ofdominant and submissive The three biggestlies 61
powerexchange 56 Abusive relationships 62
Level I - ConditionalCompliance 57 Limits -The lines never to be crossed 63
Level 2 - Restricted Ongoing Safe words 64
Acquiescence 57 Contracts and agreements 65
Level 3 - Provisional Submission 58 Sample contract ofsubmission 66
Negotiation Questionnaire 66
5 Straight Facts and Bent Phalluses
SexualAttitudes 69
Nogoals. no roles 71 Sign language 73
Philip's Tree House: Rediscovering thejoys of the flesh 74
!l!NoGirlsAllowed!!! 71 Molly's notes from the quilting bee 75
Aword aboutapproach 73 Bustingbarriers 77
6 Non-Government Sanctioned Sex and Torture 78
Clips. clamps. and clothespins 78 Self-trainingfor anal play 86
Fire and ice 80 Enemas 86
Electro-torture 81 Feeding the pussy syntho-meat 88
The cutting edge 82 Fisting 89
Anal play. general considerations 83 Forced sex (neversaynever) 90
Anal sex 84 Smoke and Mirrors 90
Anal training and object stimulation 85
7 Get Them By the Balls;Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow
Bondage Theory 93
First, you need a plan 95 The firstsession 101
Bondage safety 95 The second session 103
Ten rules tobe bound by 96 The tournament ofwills 104
Anatomy for safer bondage 99 The third and all the rest ofyour
Emergency quick release 100 sessions 106
Novice bondage 101
8 OfHumane Bondage
Bondage Techniques 107
Bonds that tie 107 Plasticwrap bondage 120
Finishingthe rope 108 Wristand ankle cuffs 121
Knots 109 Bondageharness and collars 123
Releasingyourvictim 112 Blindfolds 123
Asimplewrist bondage 113 Gags 124
Crossed ankle bondage 114 Aclothgaggage primer 126
Breastbondage 115 Hoodsand sensorydeprivation 128
Oriental rope dress 116 Spandex 128
Hints 119 Specialtyitems 129
Variations 119 Simple solutions for attachments 130
Rope alternatives 119
9 Philip's Philosophy ofPhloggingPhun
The Corporal Dimension 132
Environment 132 IV.Learnethwell the anatomyof
Beginninga session 133 thine targets. 142
Positioning 134 V. Thou shaltabide bySM safety rules
Bondage and Whipping 135 and practices. 143
Beginning 136 VI. Knoweth intimatelythe feel. range.
Endinga scene 137 and effectofeach ofthine
Kneelingbefore the lash 137 implements ofdestruction. It is
Philip's ten commandments of betterfor all to receive before
flagellation 138 one gives. 143
I.Thou shaltneverstrike thine How does it feel? 143
submissive in anger. 139 Orchestratingyour percussion 144
II.Thou shaltnotdamage thine sub. VII.Thou shalt develop properstance
Knoweth the difference between and technique. 145
hurt and harm. 139 VIII.Seeketh an expert's advice. training.
Marking 140 and counsel for the weaponsyou would
Reading the submissives'sbuttaftera master. 145
scene -a chart 141 IX.Thou shaltPractice! Practice! Practice!
III.Thine sub and thee shaltnegotiate and use upon a fanny only those toys
thoroughlyand each shall respecteth with which thou artan expert. 145
the limits ofthe other. 142 X. Never stopwatching! Focus is next
to godliness. 145
10 When the Inner Child Deserves a Spanking
Philip's (and Phriend's) Phurther Pheelings on Phlogging 146
Preparing the skin for a beating 146 Let this bea lesson to ya: Atutorial
Where to hit - a chart 148 on using the cat-stylewhip. orflogger 156
The warm up 150 Stance 156
Warming up for a heavy scene 150 The strokes 156
Spanking 151 Forehand overhead stroke 157
Paddling 152 Backhand overhead stroke 160
Face slapping 153 Figure-eight Stroke 160
Caningand cropping 153 Tipsand traps 160
Flogging 154 The single-lash whip 162
Cat-anatomy 154 Bullwhips are not onlyat home on the
Floggeror cat? 155 range (Abullwhip tutorial
How to practicewhipping 155 by Robert Dante) 162
11 It's OnlyPain. Dear, and It's OnlyYours
Why Take A Long Road To Enlightenment, When You Can Haul Ass On A Super
Highway'? 168
Flying: "ground control to Reprise; tops, bottoms and
MasterTom" 171 switches 181
The maiden voyage of rocket Molly 176 "Ouch... Mmmmmmmmrnmmm!"
Endorphin highs and other Experiencing pain as pleasure 181
vacation spots 177
12 Making the Upper Cheeks Red
Embarrassment, Humiliation and the Mind Fuck 184
Politicallyincorrectbut emotionally Public play 194
valid 190 Dressing 195
Verbal abuse 191 Sexual denial, the ultimate weapon 197
Humiliation 191 Emotional growth through SM 199
Mindfuck, not mental rape 193 Has anyone seen my self-esteem?
Exhibitionism 194 -Asearch for myself 199
13 FurnishingYour Dungeon 201
Where to playwhile the castle is The torture group 212
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beingrepainted 201 The bondagegroup 213
Lifewith children 202 The sex-toygroup 214
Hangingslaves and other decorative The hittinggroup 215
touches 203 Where to getyour goodies 218
RecyclingAuntSophie's ottoman, or, Found objects 219
why buya rack with a perfectlygood Travelingwith toys 220
workbench in the basement? 204 Makingyourown toys 221
Adungeon tour 204 Leathertips 221
Just for the dungeon 210 Designs 221
Glossary 226
AppendixA: SM Support Groups and Organizations 241
Appendix B: Stores, Suppliers, andArtisans 252
Appendix C:ComputerBulletin Boards 268
Appendix D: SM and Fetish Magazines 269
Appendix E: Recommended Reading 271
Appendix F: NLA Statement On Domestic Violence 273
Index 274
Acknowledgements
Noone accomplishes anything ofvalue by himself. We are grateful
to scores upon scores of people who contributed knowledge. patience.
assistance. and support in making this book possible. We can list only a
few. but thank you all. dear friends.
Foryourlove. friendship, guidance, andenduringourmanymoods,
thank you: Debbie T., Debbilynn, Lee, Mistress Eva Bathory, Charles
Walker,MasterKen. SweetCream,MarieConstance,John, RobertaridMary
Dante, Janette Heartwood, Jennifer. Rose, Rana, Mistress Raven, Dane &
LeslieAnn<GDG>, Joan, Hans,Josie, LiChen,Jocelyn, Rebecca.Sara.Ari,
Jake. Ali. Jen, Cathy. Robin, Donna, Don, Bob H.. both Franks and the
patronsofChezFrancesco, Marvin, Pete. two GeorgesandtwoLindas, Doc,
Fred. Strider. Kenny, Dr. Wm. A. Granzig. WendyK., Keri, Rerno, Heather,
Jerry. Marcia. Jackie. Brenda.Amy. Melissa. Ronil, LauraAntoniou,Adam
Selene. Gillian, Roberta, Mistress Sabrina, Kevin Johnson. Bruce, Kayla,
Toughlove, Lite Brite, April Greeley. Lynn "Chanti" K., Steve and Eileen
Lauer. PrincessSheeba,Veronica&DonP., AndyAnderson. Megan, Doogie
John, Songbird Birgit wherever you are, Erica. Tori, Steed. Quirt. Nix,
Sharon(C-Pet), Janet, BrookandtheVaultdenizens, Robert, Morgle, Ruth,
Queen Guillotine, Terry L.. Michael, Russ, Master Rick, Gregory, Domina
Sappho, Shoewolf, Danny. all those plying wanton keyboards on The
English Palace. Majornet, alt.sex.bondage, and other cyber-stops.