Resilient Relationships: Techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation, and a mental health crisis PDF
Preview Resilient Relationships: Techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation, and a mental health crisis
Resilient Relationships Designed to be used as a companion to couple therapy, this book is based on a trailblazing study of over 1400 individuals. It presents over 75 techniques to help relationships thrive in the long-term and provides insights into the challenges faced by contemporary couples. Through in-depth interviews, this book takes pertinent questions from young couples and puts them to couples who have been together for decades. The time-tested secrets of thriving couples are presented in a new guise for a new generation. Capturing the efects of the COVID-19 pandemic, the study includes people from 52 countries and is the largest cross-sectional, multi- national study on long-term relationships to date. It highlights the dynamic and protective factors that lead to relationship longevity, as well as societal pressures, to guide therapists on how to manage these with their clients. The authors uncover how long-term relationships promote resilience, emotional, mental, and physical health, and protect against loneliness and harmful behaviours. Therapists and couples need to know what goes right in long-lasting relationships. Providing essential data and practical skills for psychologists, counsellors, and other professionals, this book is a must-read for anyone working with couples to explore and understand what leads to resilient relationships in a harsh, complex world. Christian Heim, FRANZCP, PhD, is Clinical Director of Tasmania North Mental Health Services, a senior lecturer at the University of Queensland, and a Churchill Fellow who gives keynotes internationally on preventative mental health. In private psychiatry, he subspecialized in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. Caroline Heim, PhD, is an associate professor at Queensland University of Technology. She has published two books in theatre studies. Caroline gives keynotes internationally, and her numerous articles cover various topics from global audiences to the mental health of her university students. Caroline is a certifed Lifeline crisis counsellor and facilitator. Resilient Relationships Techniques for Surviving Hyper-individualism, Social Isolation, and a Mental Health Crisis Christian Heim and Caroline Heim Designed cover image: Kimberly Hollingsworth First published 2023 by Routledge 4 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN and by Routledge 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158 Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business © 2023 Christian Heim and Caroline Heim The right of Christian Heim and Caroline Heim to be identified as authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Heim, Christian, 1960- author. | Heim, Caroline, author. Title: Resilient relationships : techniques for surviving hyper- individualism, social isolation, and a mental health crisis / Christian Heim, PhD, Caroline Heim, PhD. Description: Abingdon, Oxon ; New York, NY : Routledge, 2023. | Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: LCCN 2022051060 (print) | LCCN 2022051061 (ebook) | ISBN 9781032203928 (hardback) | ISBN 9781032203911 (paperback) | ISBN 9781003263395 (ebook) Subjects: LCSH: Couples therapy. | Couples therapy—Case studies. | Mentally ill—Family relationships. | Mentally ill—Family relationships—Case studies. | Marital conflict. Classification: LCC RC488.5 .H43 2023 (print) | LCC RC488.5 (ebook) | DDC 616.89/1562—dc23/eng/20230125 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022051060 LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022051061 ISBN: 9781032203928 (hbk) ISBN: 9781032203911 (pbk) ISBN: 9781003263395 (ebk) DOI: 10.4324/9781003263395 Typeset in Sabon by Apex CoVantage, LLC Contents About the authors vii Acknowledgements ix Introduction 1 CAROLINE HEIM PART I The context 15 1 Resilient relationships versus hyper-individualism: selfsh genes, altruism, and attachment 17 CHRISTIAN HEIM 2 Resilient relationships and mental health: attachment underlying both 49 CHRISTIAN HEIM 3 Resilient relationships versus social isolation: efects of screen technology, atomization, and distancing 70 CHRISTIAN HEIM PART II Our study 91 4 Survey fndings: couples surviving COVID-19 93 CAROLINE HEIM vi Contents 5 Interview and survey fndings: couples thriving 40+ years 117 CAROLINE HEIM PART III The techniques 169 6 Techniques to build pro-relational values 171 CHRISTIAN HEIM 7 Techniques to build resilient relationships 214 CHRISTIAN HEIM Appendix 1 More couple insights on relationship issues 250 Appendix 2 The Surviving COVID-19 Survey 258 Appendix 3 The Married 40+ Years Survey 260 Index 263 About the authors Christian Heim, FRANZCP, PhD is currently Clinical Director of Tasmania North Mental Health Services. He is a consultant psychiatrist in general adult psychiatry who has been in long-term private inpatient and outpa- tient practice. Christian subspecialized in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and in couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. He is a Senior Lecturer at the University of Queensland and lectures to trainee psychiatrists. He has given keynote addresses internationally. A composer and pianist, previously Christian was a lecturer at several universities in classical music composition. He is a Churchill Fellow having researched the use of music in hospital environments, and is a recipient of the Newton- John Award for creativity in professional practice. His research area is pre- ventative mental health, and in this he publishes and lectures to lawyers, doctors and therapists, university students, and the general public to help avoid burnout, compassion fatigue, mental illness, and to help couples keep their relationships together. Christian and Caroline have worked in thea- tre, counselling, and performing situations together and are developing an online presence. Caroline Heim, PhD is an Associate Professor in Theatre at Queensland University of Technology and a global authority on theatre audiences and the psychology of relationships in the theatre. Her frst book, Audience as Performer: the changing role of theatre audiences in the twenty-frst cen- tury (Routledge 2016) is regarded as a leading authority on theatre audi- ences. Her second book, Actors and Audiences: conversations in the electric air (Routledge 2020) received an Honourable Mention in the Rob Jordan book prize. Caroline gives keynotes internationally, and her numerous arti- cles cover various topics from global audiences to the mental health of her university students. Specializing in empirical research, she has inter- viewed over 200 actors and audience members internationally. Caroline’s PhD (The University of Queensland) explored and trialled a new model for post-performance discussions. In the Creative industries, Education and Social Justice Faculty at QUT she lectures, coordinates courses, and viii About the authors has implemented a mental health program for her students using humour and clowning. Caroline is a certifed Lifeline crisis counsellor and facilita- tor. Caroline and Christian have published and given conference papers together. www.drchristianheim.com Acknowledgements Our sincere thanks go to the wonderfully brave couples who shared so much of their life stories and personal relationship experiences. We are deeply grateful for the generosity of each of the 90 couples we had the privilege of interviewing from many parts of the globe. Thank you for opening up your homes and stories to us. The interviews would not have been possible to secure without the assis- tance of the following people who went out of their way to assist in the dif- fcult task of recruiting willing couples or provide research resources: Rob Dunn, Laurel Gray, Michelle Fezza, Donna Burness and Paul Burness, Joy Lawn, Mark Grenning, Robin McKenzie, Marina Tuskan, Phil Mathers, Anne Mills, and Sue Brown. Special thanks goes to Merv Richens, who went above and beyond in helping us fnd interviewees through his many lifetime Probus connections. Several organizations were pivotal in facilitat- ing the interviews and survey respondents, and we are very thankful for their assistance: Springwood Probus, Hobart Men’s Probus, Exeter Probus, Bankstown Probus, Princess Cruises, Association Napolitana, Sydney Bul- garian Cultural and Social Association, the Estonian Society of Sydney and Curious Things. We would also like to acknowledge our universities: Queensland Univer- sity of Technology and The University of Queensland. QUT recognized the importance of this research in granting much needed research leave over these past fve years. Our editor, Vilija Stephens at Routledge, has provided much enthusiasm and direction from the start and given much appreci- ated advice. Several readers ofered valued critical comments: Dr Peter Devadason, Dr Cynthia Gray, Emma Felton, Peter Driessen, Shardé Heim, and Reuben Heim. The latter two’s salty comments and savvy insights often shared over steaming hot chocolates, helped us bridge some gen- erational gaps. A special thank you is due to Shardé for her help with all things technical and to Kimberly Hollingsworth for the metaphorical cover photograph.
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