Table Of Content

RENAISSANCE the writers' and artists' magazine of WayneCommunityCollege Goldsboro, North Carohna Volume 12, May 1996 AWARDS Cover Design ~ Victoria Turton Art~ Deborah Biegun, Arhss Sauls Pittman Poetry ~ Carrie Ditzler Short Story ~ Carol Lautier-Woodley Essay ~ Stephen Shadwick Editors' Award - Lee Patrick Editors Rosalyn Lomax Kathryn Spicer Marian Westbrook Nopartofthis magazinemay bereproducedwitiioutpermission. Copyright 1996 Renaissance Viewsexpressedarethoseofthe individualcontributorsanddonotnecessarilyreflecttheviews ofthe editors orofthis institution. Acknowledgments LiberalArtsFaculty PatriciaTurlington LynellKing PeggyJennette MediaDepartment Grace Lutz RuthBailey,MarjorieMurphy George Fouts StudentGovernmentAssociation and to AllArtistsandWritersPublishedHerein CoverDesign Front, VictoriaTurton, MedicalOfficeTechnology Back, DeborahBiegun, CollegeTransfer TABLE OF CONTENTS QuiltedFantasy 1 Arliss Sauls Pittman EvergreenPhoenix 2 DeanaCollins Charlotte 2 MichaelRussell TheEyes ofGod 3 CarolLautier-Woodley , CloseTheBook 4 JoyRogers WhatIAm 4 JoyRogers RememberMe 4 JoyRogers ShadowsofLeaf „ 5 DeborahBiegun FallingBoards 6 DarleneWilliamson , WhichWay 7 CherylCall Bluelightpushbluebutton 7 LeePatrick MemorableMoment 8 PatriciaHill IRemember 8 ParticiaHerring DotheDishes 9 HasanMcBride DoI Haveto BeAMommyToday? 9 Carol Waits Chant in F 10 CliftonTbler AnotherKindofWoodstock 12 CherrieFausnaught Frogs in the Bog 13 StevenHeusser Man ofaThousandFaces 13 HasanMcBride ARainy Day 14 KristiBailey HappyBirthday 14 LeePatrick ALongDriveHome 15 TeresaTorres-Johnson Summer 1995 16 DeanaCollins EarlyMorning 16 Arliss Sauls Pittman TheSuicide 17 TheresaWhite Chrysalis 18 JamieCallick EbbandFlow 19 GeorgeFonts Wmdow StainedGlass 20 CherylCall Communion 21 StevenHeusser Serendipity 21 ScottErvin MidnightSon 22 MichaelRussell BrokenHallways 23 Arliss Sauls Pittman Death 24 WoodrowAnderson Baseball Days 25 MarianWestbrook Cross Trainer 25 LyndonJohnson SlowDown? 26 RosalynLomax HeraldingHorns 26 DeborahBiegun FriedGreenTomatoesversusFriedCucumbers 27 StephenShadwick Plant 28 ChrisHowell MyGarden 28 Grace Lutz My Grandparents' Farm 29 JaniceMcDaniel ChildAbuse: APersonalLook 30 CatrinaGrugin Michaela'sHorse 31 ChrisHowell June2 32 IrmaWiggins Teardrop 32 MichaelRussell VisionofYou 32 IrmaWiggins Leaves 32 KarenHinson JohnnyStone 33 CarolLautier-Woodley Enchantee 33 DeanaCollins WhereDoesAnIdeaComeFrom? 34 PatriciaTurlington TheFlowerHeProtected 37 LeePatrick Who'sSeentheRain 37 LeePatrick BuffaloRoam 38 JenniferYates NativeImages 38 DeborahBiegun TheBeautyofMexico 39 JowharRasheed Maze 40 ChrisHowell InPrison 40 SteveJohnson IReachedOut 40 EdwardLong It'sNotBroken 41 HasanMcBride NursingStudent 41 AnneBarlow At$2.50 an HourtheTips Should Be Better 42 JenniferCampbell ThenandNow 43 ThomasSteves AViewof Humanities 43 ReneePhillips Whales 44 PeggyMoses Larry the Limb Lizard 45 StevenHeusser TVWatchers Beware 46 JenniferHeim HerringboneofIllusion 46 StephanieSutton LayerUpon Layer 47 SudieDavis KeyLime Pie 48 KimberlyEvans Down inthe Valley 50 Dori Eraser Reflections 50 Shannon Nevers Fourteen Years 51 BrentWilkie Homesick 51 MyraHowell LoveinCocoon 51 DorisWeaver NotJustAnotherNumber 52 Marilyn Ward Here Am 52 KimSmith I Society 52 KeithLewis Man at Work 53 LeePatrick ADiamond's Brilliance 53 DeborahBiegun MySixth Grade Classroom 55 JoanBrindley Night-Walking 54 Carrie Ditzler Morality Slept Last Night 55 Carrie Ditzler EulogyfortheLost 55 Carrie Ditzler Rising AboveItAll 56 Arliss Sauls Pittman Quilted Fantasy,Ar//55 SaulsPittman, CollegeTransfer CHARLOTTE Spiderveinsfromawebofwork A lifelonglivedweavesaround Thethreadoflovethrough Galeforceliveswithconcentrictrust Soamorsel ofdistress innately Pullshernearwhere shewombs Thestrugglingsoulintoacocoonofself-belief MichaelRussell CollegeTransfer EVERGREEN PHOENIX Thestorm isblowingthis way Ifeelthewindteasingmybody Ihearitcallingmyname andI hearthepinetrees screaming my rage astheclouds shedraindropsnotunlikemy owntears Thereisastormbrewing insideme It'sbeenbuilding its strengthforyears my strength temperedbymy shame,myanger,mydisillusions It'sluringmeoutsidenow callingmeawayfromthe lifeIno longerwanttolive It'stellingme itsbreath, its words, its whispers canconsoleme,easethepain, that its rain can wash the dirt away The clouds thatare such athreatto so many resembleagreatfeatherbed preparedformeforeternity promisingcool,restfulsleep awayfrommodemangstanddryness Theevergreensdancewithit swayinggentlytoandfro droppingtheoccasionaldeadorweakenedlimb yetthedancecontinues onandon, withitsunevencadence thewindisbreathingnewlifeintothemalso Idon'tknowhow many moredays Icanresist thiswelcomecryfromthewind Whileothershoverindoors,hidingfromitspower Iwalk intoit, withnocoat, wantingtoremove allthatcovers me andgodancing andletitbendmeandbreakme sothatlikethephoenix I maybegin again. Deana E. Collins Accounting 2 THE EYES OF GOD CarolLautier-Woodley, CollegeTransfer When Iwasthirteenyearsold, Icarriedourfamily Bible plate slipped out of his mouth and onto the podium as he toschooleveryday. Itswhite leathercoverandglowing, large whoopedand holleredaboutdeliverance. He was with Sister gold letters made it a somewhat conspicuous declaration of Katiethedayeveryonefoundout she was pregnant. my recent salvation. I'll admit that, in addition to my other Bishop Pitts said the Lord had led him to stop by Sister books, itwasawfullyheavy,butitwasaneffectivereminder Katie's house that coldJanuary morning and ask herto pray to my pubescent heart that while other girls were going to with him that soulsbe addedto thechurch's small congrega- partiesand learningtoputon make-up, Iwasto refrainfrom tion. suchactivities. Still,thepromiseofheaven inthelifetocome It seems that after a few seconds ofprayer. Sister Katie didnotmaketheFridaynightswhenschooldanceswereheld begancryingloudly"Oh myLord! myLord!" lesslonely. BishopPittsthoughtitwasthepoweroftheSpirituntilhe My grandmothernever understood why I was so sullen sawthewater. Heeven rodewith herin theambulance,pray- onthosenights. What, afterall,wasittosacrificeafewfleet- ingalltheway. BythetimetheyreachedChanceCountyHos- ing dances compared to the sacrifice thatJesus made on the pital, little Malachi Parkerhad arrived. crossforme? I came in from school thatWednesday to find mygrand- SisterKatieParker,however,bothunderstoodandprom- mothersitting solemnly in herrecliner. From the look on her ised that as I grew stronger in the Lord, I would lose those face,Iknewsomethingterrible hadhappened. desiresandcometorealizethatall Ineeded was in Him. Had "Sitdown. Baby. I have something totell you." it not been for her, I might have abandoned my faith com- "OhmyGod,"Ithought,"whodied?"Isaidnothing,how- pletely, butItrustedher,andintrustingher, Ilearnedtotrust ever, butobediently sat down on the sofa in front ofher. Godmore. "It'sSisterKatie,"Grandmapaused, lookingdownather SisterKatie wasourorganist,choirdirector, Bible study fingers as they stroked the binding ofherBible. She gripped teacher, some-timepastor,andspiritualcounselor. Shewasa the big black book with both hands and said, "Sara, Sister beautiful,bigcocoabrownwomanwithwavy,shoulder-length Katie is pregnant—well, not pregnant. She's already had the hair. She had a voice for singing and preaching that would baby." makethedevil wanttoliveright. Attheageofforty-two, she "Baby?" Iechoedincredulously. "Ijustsaw herSunday. wasasaved, sanctified virgin. She seemed—I mean, shepreached Sunday. She seemedfine, "I'drathergotoheaven inthearmsofJesus, than hell in then." I stopped talking. Well, ofcourse she was "fine," I si- thearmsofaman!"she'dproudlydeclaretoencouragethose lentlychastisedmyself. Beingpregnantwasn'tasickness. But ofuswhowereyoungerandweakerintheLord. Sheendured when you'renotmarried, itisa—. I stoppedthinking. Icould quiteabitofpersecutionbeing unmarried at herage. Every- not fathom sin being present in the woman we had all loved one in town knew she was a missionary, yet rumors of her andendeavoredtoemulate. being a lesbian persisted. The way she stood on the Word in "I'mgoing todomyhomeworknow." the face ofadversity made us all proud. I think every sister "Okay, Baby. Ifyou want to talk,just let me know." wanted tobe like her. I know Idid. "Yes, ma'am," I answered as I walkedto my bedroom. I admit that I was a bit puzzled when I sought, and she Closingthedoorbehindme,Irememberedallofthetimes provided, advice on how to handle my growing attraction to SisterKatie hadtalkedtomeaboutbeing savedandfreefrom boys. sin. Shehadextolledthe virtuesofchastityandspokenofGod "You have tofall in love with God, Sara." asher"bestfriend." ShespokeofthesufficiencyofHisgrace. "Fall in love with God?" Iexclaimed, afraidthat herad- I could see the tears welling up in hereyes as she assured me viceborderedonblasphemy. ofHis unconditional love. She assured me that this was what I needed to do and I, I picked up my own Bible. Holding it with both hands althoughuncertainofthemechanics,accepteditastruth. Sis- pressedflatoneitherside, Islowlyopenedit, lettingthepages ter Katie was, after all, wiser in the Word than I could ever fall freely. My eyes fell on afamiliar verse: Man looks at the hope to be. She was alsomy Christian role model. As amat- outwardappearance; God looks atthe heart. teroffact,atSt. Mark'sHolinessChurch, shewaseveryone's I don't know how long I sat starting at those words, but rolemodel. when I looked up again, the sun was sinking into a far bluer Iguess that's whyhercominguppregnanttook usall by sky. I wished that I could see Sister Katie. I wanted her to surprise. look into my eyes as she had before and tell me about righ- Bishop Pitts was our pastor at the time. He was a tall, teousness and peace. I wanted to see her eyes fill with tears slim man ofat least sixty, maybe seventy, and he was com- againassheremindedmeofthebeautyofGod'slove. Mostof pletely bald. He was most famous for his "God Didn't Lift all,though, Iwantedhertoseeme lookingather. Iwantedher You Up To Let You Down" sermon during which his upper to seetheeyes ofGod looking atherheart. 3 . CLOSE THE BOOK My life stopped in the airjustaboutone yearago. I know she wasclosertoGodthatway. ButwhileIhadmyfeetfirmlyplantedontheground Shewasgaspingandsayinggoodbye. Bythelookinhereyes sheknew. All Ihave is still moments stuckintimeofapersonwhois gone. Andmemories, Icrythetearsofblood. Memoriesecholikedoorsbeingslammedshutinanemptyhallway. Iaskwhy withfearin my heart AndwiththelonelynightsIlieawakeandcallhername. Noonepersonknowsanother'spain. Nooneknowstheanswertomyquestion. JoyRogers CollegeTransfer "WHAT AM I . Iamafiledrawer IhavealockandnoonecanreadtheinformationIhave stored Beware! Secrets .... Ihaveafileforeverymomentinmylife There'sonelabeledCforChildhood L forLove G forGraduation And D for death. EveryonehopestoreachZ. Liveyourlifetothefullest. REMEMBERME Yourtimecouldbe sittingnexttoyou(onaparkbench) andyoujustdon'tknow it. Think. AndallatonceI imaginedherface Asshewouldfeel ifIweregone. JoyRogers She would lookforthe same as Ilookfor. CollegeTransfer ShewouldfeelthepainthatIfeel. IrememberaskingherifIweregone Shewouldrunfrom thequestionasthoughitwereanenemy. NowIknow shehadlovedherlife. Now my it's turn. Themorningafterallthecrying, Thesunalways seemstofilterinwhether Youblockthe windowsorfindashadetopulldown. Itfinds its waythrough somecrackorcrevice. NowIknow onethingthatIdidnotknowthen, Godcriedthatday whenmy mamadied. JoyRogers College Transfer 4