Reading Autoethnography: Reflections on Justice and Love

155 Pages·2020·1.538 MB·English

by  James M. Salvo

READING AUTOETHNOGRAPHY
Reading Autoethnography situates autoethnographic insights within the context of
two fundamental concerns of critical qualitative inquiry: justice and love.
Through philosophical engagement, it gives close readings of written passages
taken from leading autoethnographers and frames the philosophical project of
autoethnography as one that is both political and interpersonal. It does this to
highlight how autoethnographic lessons can allow us to think through how we
may achieve a flourishing for all — something that is both related to justice as it
pertains to the political, and when situations are in excess of justice, related to
love as it pertains to feeling at home in the world with others.
As such, this book will be of interest to those who have a burgeoning interest
in autoethnography and seasoned autoethnographers alike; anyone interested in
critical qualitative inquiry as a discourse promoting justice and love; and any
scholar who has encountered the ethical question of: “What ought we do?”
James M. Salvo is a Lecturer at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
and Wayne State University.
QUALITATIVE INQUIRY AND SOCIAL JUSTICE
Series Editors: Norman K. Denzin and Yvonna Lincoln
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Texas A&M University
Booksinthisseriesaddresstheroleofcriticalqualitativeresearchinanerathatcries
out for emancipatory visions that move people to struggle and resist oppression.
Rooted in an ethical framework that is based on human rights and social justice,
the series publishes exemplary studies that advance this transformative paradigm.
Other volumes in this series include:
Ethnotheatre
Research from Page to Stage
Johnny Saldana
Pedagogy of Solidarity
Paulo Freire, Ana Maria Araujo Freire and Walter de Oliveira
Autoethnography and the Other
Unsettling Power through Utopian Performatives
Tami Spry
Ethnotheatre
Research from Page to Stage
Johnny Saldaña
Betweener Autoethnographies
A Path Towards Social Justice
Marcelo Diversi and Claudio Moreira
Globalized Nostalgia
Tourism, Heritage, and the Politics of Place
Christina Ceisel
Reading Autoethnography
Reflections on Justice and Love
James M. Salvo
For a full list of titles in this series, please visit www.routledge.com.
READING
AUTOETHNOGRAPHY
fl
Re ections on Justice and Love
James M. Salvo
Firstpublished2020
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CONTENTS
Prefacing Through Acknowledgments vi
Introduction 1
1 Reading Autoethnography as a Method of Justice 14
2 Being-With, Home, Love 69
3 Thirteen Poems 113
4 The Discovery of Online Dating: A Happy Accident for Two
Qualitative Researchers 118
References 136
Index 139
PREFACING THROUGH
1
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
It’s a sad thing to want to share something—to really, really want to share—but
no one’s interested. It’s something else altogether when one’s enthusiasm is mis-
takenforpretentiousness.IoftenfeelthiswayaboutthetwothingsthatI’mmost
passionate about.
The first is jazz. Occasionally, I’d find people to talk to. When record stores
usedtobeathing,there were sometimespeople. Also,whenIusedtogotoThe
Empty Bottle in Chicago, there were sometimes folks there, too. It’s an inter-
esting dance we used to do. At the record store, for instance, someone might
look over my shoulder and eventually open with something like, “Hey, I saw
you pick up Dolphy’s Last Date and look at it for a bit. That’s a good one. Misha
Mengelberg’s on that. Have you checked out his newer stuff, Mengelberg’s?” To
which I might reply, “You like Mengelberg? He’s one of my favorites! I just saw
him at the Empty Bottle a few months ago. He didn’t play, but the rest of the
ICP was there. I did get him to sign one of my CDs, though ….” Any time else,
however—before I knew that it was inappropriate to have such conversations
with other people—I’d just get a simultaneous sigh and eye-roll.
The second thing is philosophy. Not too long ago, I was at this conference.
Some grad student was excitedly going on about Žižek in their presentation.
Someone in front of me turned to the person sitting next to them. A bit too
loudly, they whispered, “Remember being a grad student and wanting to prove
how smart you were to everyone?” A few people within earshot laughed. Me, I
thought,Wait,isthatwhatpeopleusedtothinkwhenIdidthat?Iusedtogoon
and on about Žižek … I did get him to sign one of my CDs, though.
This is my first book. I don’t know how it’ll be received. In this situation,
friends mighttell you that you’re a good writer and not to second-guess yourself.
It’s a good friend, though, who can say something like, “Don’t worry, no one
PrefacingThroughAcknowledgments vii
will read it.” Only good friends can have the comforting sense of humor to
encourage you in a genuine way. Taking ourselves too seriously, I find, is the
least helpful thing. Still, as one does, I worry about what I’ve done here.
It’s like these jazz albums that I sometimes record for myself. I play piano and
guitar. A project I’ve been working on is to use Messiaen’s modes of limited
transposition to improvise over Monk tunes. To me, it just kind of makes sense.
Monk used the whole tone scale, and this happens to be one of Messiaen’s
modes. So, why not use the other Messiaen modes to play Monk? I’ve posted
some of my results on YouTube. They never got very many views, but maybe
onceortwicesomeoneleftacommentindicatinghowitseemslikeIdon’tknow
how to play. I might’ve deleted those videos. At any rate, all this made sense to
me—combining Messiaen and Monk—because to me, they’re essentially the
same thing, one just swung. To me, Monk is Messiaen that swings.
Similarly, it also made sense to me to combine the explicitly philosophical and
the autoethnographic, because to me, the two types of text are essentially the
samething.True,autoethnographymightnothavethetypicalformofphilosophy,
but its concerns are deeply philosophical. To me, autoethnography is philosophy
with proper names.
I remember when I pitched all this latter stuff that made sense to me as a
potential book proposal to someone who’d turn out to be a wonderfully helpful
andpatientcommissioningeditor,Hannah Shakespeare.IexplainedtoherwhatI
wanted to write. Generously, she said that I was innovative and that was good. I
told her that it could be that, but, on the other hand, it could be that no one’s
everdonethisbeforebecausetheywerewiseenoughtorealizewhatabadideait
was. I’m not sure how she knew what the perfect response to that was, but she
did. I can’t speak for her, but that’s the moment when I considered her to be a
good friend.
Another one of my good friends introduced me to autoethnography itself,
although I suppose at the time, I thought of Norm as just my boss. I’m not sure
when, exactly, that Norm and I became good friends. I can’t think of any
particular moment, and that I can’t think of any particular moment suggests to
me that hehad been a good friend to me the whole time: I just hadn’tknown it.
His support over the years has and continues to mean a great deal to me, but as
muchasitmeans,I’mcertainthatI’mmissingwaysinwhichIshouldbegrateful.
Norm is the kind of person to do nice things in secret because that’s just who
he is.
And when Norm introduced me to autoethnography, did he introduce me to
scores of good friends that I haven’t gotten to know personally? There’s a way in
which this can be the case. If a really good friend is someone who shares things
with you even if it makes them vulnerable, then all the autoethnographers that
I’ve read over the years are, by this criterion, good friends, too. I suppose that’s
the reason why I took on the project which is this possibly bad idea of a book
that maybe no one will read. I feel connected to autoethnographers. I understand
viii PrefacingThroughAcknowledgments
them to be writers who are passionate about sharing. I think their passion for
sharing makes them often misunderstood. I don’t know how many auto-
ethnographers like jazz and philosophy, but the writing that they share with the
world needs to be appreciated for the gift that it is. So, if one is inclined to hum
the opening bars of “So What?” regarding the why of why I wrote any of this—
Can’tanyone justread autoethnographyfor themselves?—attheendof theday,I
don’t know that I have an answer more genuine than feeling compelled to say
thanks to several good friends I don’t know. Several of them aren’t in this book
for the reason that I ran out of time—and given more time, there wouldn’t be
enough space unless this were to be an extremely long book—but just because I
didn’t mention those autoethnographers doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful. This
latter sort of thank you to autoethnographers continues to feel important.
And lastly, maybe this part of the book is yet another one of my odd combi-
nations.You typically don’tsee acknowledgmentsfoldedinto prefaces, but it also
just makes sense to me. It’s economical, yes, and perhaps it’s a way to get people
to read acknowledgments that I myself too often skip in other books. But
more than that, can we even pretend to begin without gratitude? Really, that’s
the most important thing. I learned that from my partner, Jasmine. I can’t help
but start every day being grateful that she’s in the world. I feel more grateful
than she needs to have morning coffee (more than, but not before then). Also, I
don’t know that there’d even be this book—a book which is also about home—
without her. Without her, I don’t know that I could’ve shared any of this with
anyone … I don’t know, but maybe I’ll put that Messiaen Monk album I made
forher forherbirthdayuponYouTube. Shehadagoodenoughsenseof humor
to say that she liked it. She’s supportive that way … Boo Boo!
Note
1 I’dliketothank Maire Harrisfor hercareful copyediting.
INTRODUCTION
Two-Hit Wonder?
Now many years ago, when I had gotten far enough along in my studies that I
couldconsiderbeingonthejobmarketforthefirsttime,ImadeatriptoChicagoto
attend the National Communication Association (NCA) conference, primarily to
go to the job fair. I walked around, not so accidentally overhearing interviews
behindtheportabledividers,stopping atalltheopenboothstotalktowhomever
I could. It was all pretty standard fare, but one conversation I had did stick out.
The conversation started as these things typically go: I introduced myself, the
person asked me what my research was about, and I responded with something
vagueaboutJacquesLacan.Butthenthingstookanunexpectedturn.Theperson
at the booth said, “Oh, so you do representations of black women?” Confused
and perhaps somewhat panicked, I found myself telling them yes. My research
had nothing to do with that, but it occurred to me that there was maybe a new
Black feminist book that came out that had maybe used Lacan. I didn’t want to
look like I wasn’t up on all my readings, so I figured I’d just nod, pretend, and
wing it. Winging a five-minute conversation on something you know nothing
about,I learned,is muchmore difficult than it would initially seem. Anyway,the
person steered our conversation to music videos, and over the duration of our
conversation, another explanation occurred to me: This is a case of mistaken
identity; the person saw the university affiliation on my name badge and mistook
me for another grad student in my department whose research focused on hip-
hop feminism. As I understood, she had made quite a splash at NCA that year,
and that was no surprise. Her work is excellent. A few weeks later, I caught up
withmyfriend inthegrad lounge and wasabouttotell her my story ofmistaken
identity, but really just to congratulate her on a fame well-deserved. But as I was