NEW VOLUME 4 Psycholog y Now TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIFE “IT’S SO UNNECESSARILY PAINFUL TO BE A PEOPLE PLEASER” 1 3 2 pages OF EXPERT ADVICE MICHELLE ELMAN PRIDE, PREJUDICE ON HOW TO BE SELFISH HOW TO COME OUT AND LEARN TO SET BOUNDARIES THE SHOW ln a o t i it g i d + i D THE HARSH E STOP PROCRASTINATING LEARN TO EMBRACE CHANGE 4 LIFE IN PRISON OLUME EVISED DITION UNDERSTAND ANXIETY BETTER VRE VOLUME 4 Psychology Now TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIFE Understanding human behaviour and mental processes, whether our own or those belonging to others, is essential if we want to make better decisions and lead happier lives. Why do we feel certain emotions in specific situations? Why do we behave in particular ways? And what can we do to overcome the things that hold us back? Delve into the world of psychology and build a better relationship with your mind. Learn how to be kind to it, unlock its full potential and use it to your advantage. In the pages that follow, we explore the role live music and theatre play in making us happy, the impact of procrastinating, the science behind anxiety, and the psychological challenges people in the LGBTQ+ community have to face – but also the benefits of coming out and being true to yourself. We also look into how reverse psychology works, why some people are rude, and how we define suffering. Packed full of expert guidance from psychologists, counsellors and other professionals, we also speak exclusively to Michelle Elman about the importance of being selfish and setting boundaries. The mind is a powerful tool. Learn how to take control of your own mind today for a happier, healthier tomorrow. VOLUME 4 Psychology Now Future PLC Quay House, The Ambury, Bath, BA1 1UA Editorial Editor Sarah Bankes Designer Madelene King Compiled by Philippa Grafton & Harriet Knight Senior Art Editor Andy Downes Head of Art & Design Greg Whitaker Editorial Director Jon White Contributors Edoardo Albert, Sarah Bankes, Agata Blaszczak-Boxe, Clare Bowie, Scott Dutfield, Joanna Elphick, Charlie Evans, Philippa Grafton, Emma Green, Ailsa Harvey, Faith Hill, Laura Mears, Sara G Miller, Sara Niven, Stephanie Pappas, Dan Peel, Faye M. Smith, Jackie Snowden, Poppy-Jay St. Palmer, Vanessa Thorpe, Julia Wills Cover images Getty Images, Michelle Elman Photography All copyrights and trademarks are recognised and respected Advertising Media packs are available on request Commercial Director Clare Dove International Head of Print Licensing Rachel Shaw [email protected] Circulation Head of Newstrade Tim Mathers Production Head of Production Mark Constance Production Project Manager Matthew Eglinton Advertising Production Manager Joanne Crosby Digital Editions Controller Jason Hudson Production Managers Keely Miller, Nola Cokely, Vivienne Calvert, Fran Twentyman Printed in the UK Distributed by Marketforce, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London, E14 5HU www.marketforce.co.uk Tel: 0203 787 9001 Psychology Now Volume 4 Revised Edition (LBZ4504) © 2022 Future Publishing Limited We are committed to only using magazine paper which is derived from responsibly managed, certified forestry and chlorine-free manufacture. The paper in this bookazine was sourced and produced from sustainable managed forests, conforming to strict environmental and socioeconomic standards. The paper holds full FSC or PEFC certification and accreditation. All contents © 2022 Future Publishing Limited or published under licence. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used, stored, transmitted or reproduced in any way without the prior written permission of the publisher. Future Publishing Limited (company number 2008885) is registered in England and Wales. Registered office: Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All information contained in this publication is for information only and is, as far as we are aware, correct at the time of going to press. Future cannot accept any responsibility for errors or inaccuracies in such information. You are advised to contact manufacturers and retailers directly with regard to the price of products/services referred to in this publication. Apps and websites mentioned in this publication are not under our control. We are not responsible for their contents or any other changes or updates to them. This magazine is fully independent and not affiliated in any way with the companies mentioned herein. Future plc is a public Chief executive Zillah Byng-Thorne company quoted on the Non-executive chairman Richard Huntingford London Stock Exchange Chief financial officer Penny Ladkin-Brand (symbol: FUTR) www.futureplc.com Tel +44 (0)1225 442 244 CONTENTS 8 26 48 WHICH THERAPY IS THE SCIENCE HOW TO THINK OF RUDENESS FOR ME? YOURSELF SMART 28 56 PAST PERFECT WALKING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES 32 58 12 INSIDE ANXIETY LIVING THE NEED TO KNOW 38 OUT LOUD 14 WHAT IS PERSONALITY? WHY WE SHOULD ALL 64 BE MORE SELFISH 40 THE HUNGER GAMES WHY LIVE ARTS MATTER 66 46 HOW DOES HYPNOSIS 22 REGRETS WORK? ARE GOOD WHY ARE WE WAITING? FOR YOU 6 PSYCHOLOGY NOW CONTENTS 70 88 110 UNDERSTANDING THE DISORDER HOW OPTICAL SOCIAL STATUS THAT ‘WAS’ ILLUSIONS WORK 72 90 116 FINDING MEANING UNDERSTANDING THE IN SUFFERING AVERSION THERAPY WANDERING MIND 78 HOW DO WE SENSE TIME? 119 94 HAVE YOU READ THIS BEFORE? THE IMPACT OF PRISON 80 120 100 WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? COULD COLOUR LET THE TREES BE THE CURE? 82 TREAT YOU 124 THE KEY TO 102 MOTIVATION IN SPORT SPIRIT IN THE PSYCHOLOGY REVENGE: SWEET OR SOUR? 126 86 LEARN TO LOVE CHANGE HOW DOES REVERSE 108 PSYCHOLOGY WORK? THAT SMELLS FAMILIAR PSYCHOLOGY NOW 7 WHICH THERAPY IS FOR ME? WHICH IS FOR ME? There’s a multitude of problems therapy can help with and just as many approaches to take. How do you know which is right for you? 8 PSYCHOLOGY NOW WHICH THERAPY IS FOR ME? WORDS SARA NIVEN PSYCHODYNAMIC PERSON- PSYCHOTHERAPY CENTRED THERAPY SStteemmmmiinngg ffrroomm SSiiggmmuunndd FFrreeuudd’’ss ppssyycchhooaannaallyyssiiss,, FFrreeuudd bbeelliieevveedd tthhaatt ppssyycchhoollooggiiccaall pprroobblleemmss aarree rrooootteedd iinn tthhee TThhiiss ffoorrmm ooff tthheerraappyy ffaallllss iinnttoo aa ccaatteeggoorryy uunnccoonnsscciioouuss mmiinndd,, aanndd eexxppeerriieenncceess ffrroomm ccaalllleedd ‘‘hhuummaanniissttiicc’’,, wwhheerree tthhee cclliieenntt iiss sseeeenn aass aa ppeerrssoonn’’ss ppaasstt ccaann iinnflfluueennccee tthheeiirr tthhoouugghhttss aabbllee ttoo ssoollvvee ddiiffifficcuullttiieess tthheemmsseellvveess,, ggiivveenn tthhee aanndd bbeehhaavviioouurr iinn llaatteerr lliiffee.. PPoossiittiivvee cchhaannggee iiss rriigghhtt ccoonnddiittiioonnss.. DDeevveellooppeedd bbyy ppssyycchhoollooggiisstt sseeeenn aass hhaappppeenniinngg aass aa rreessuulltt ooff uunnccoovveerriinngg CCaarrll RRooggeerrss iinn tthhee 11994400ss,, tthheerree iiss aann eemmpphhaassiiss rreepprreesssseedd eevveennttss aanndd lliinnkkiinngg tthheemm ttoo pprreesseenntt oonn tthhee ccoouunnsseelllloorr sshhoowwiinngg uunnccoonnddiittiioonnaall ddiiffifficcuullttiieess.. YYoouu mmiigghhtt ssppeenndd ssiiggnniifificcaanntt ppoossiittiivvee rreeggaarrdd ((UUPPRR)),, wwhhiicchh rreeffeerrss ttoo nnoonn-- ttiimmee ddiissccuussssiinngg yyoouurr cchhiillddhhoooodd oorr rreeccaalllliinngg jjuuddggeemmeennttaall wwaarrmmtthh aanndd aacccceeppttaannccee.. TThhee ddrreeaammss,, wwiitthh yyoouurr tthheerraappiisstt ssuuggggeessttiinngg tthheerraappiisstt aaiimmss ttoo eennssuurree aa cclliieenntt ffeeeellss hheeaarrdd ccoonnnneeccttiioonnss.. TThhiiss aapppprrooaacchh aallssoo eemmpphhaassiisseess aanndd uunnddeerrssttoooodd,, aanndd eennaabblleess tthheemm ttoo lleeaadd tthhee iiddeeaa aanndd eexxpplloorraattiioonn ooff ttrraannssffeerreennccee,, tthhee sseessssiioonn aanndd sseett tthhee ppaaccee.. CCoommppaarreedd ttoo aa wwhheerree ffeeeelliinnggss yyoouu eexxppeerriieenncceedd iinn pprreevviioouuss ppssyycchhooddyynnaammiicc ccoouunnsseelllloorr,, aa ppeerrssoonn--cceennttrreedd rreellaattiioonnsshhiippss mmaayy bbee pprroojjeecctteedd oonnttoo yyoouurr oonnee iiss mmoorree lliikkeellyy ttoo ooccccaassiioonnaallllyy rreevveeaall tthheeiirr tthheerraappiisstt –– ffoorr eexxaammppllee,, yyoouu vviieeww tthheemm aass aa oowwnn eexxppeerriieenncceess ((sseellff--ddiisscclloossuurree)) iiff tthheeyy sseeee iitt ccrriittiiccaall tteeaacchheerr oorr ffaavvoouurriittee uunnccllee.. aass hheellppffuull ffoorr eemmpphhaassiissiinngg uunnddeerrssttaannddiinngg.. Suitable for AA wwiiddee rraannggee ooff iissssuueess,, Suitable for AAllll aaggeess aanndd aa wwiiddee rraannggee ooff iissssuueess,, iinncclluuddiinngg ddeepprreessssiioonn aanndd aannxxiieettyy.. iinncclluuddiinngg ggrriieeff,, ddeepprreessssiioonn,, aannxxiieettyy aanndd ssttrreessss.. Considerations SSoommee ppeeooppllee mmiigghhtt Considerations TThhee oouuttccoommee ooff ppeerrssoonn-- pprreeffeerr ttoo ffooccuuss oonn tthhee pprreesseenntt tthhaann cceennttrreedd tthheerraappyy ddeeppeennddss oonn wwhhaatt aa cclliieenntt rreevviissiitt tthheeiirr cchhiillddhhoooodd.. TThheerraappyy mmaayy cchhoooosseess ttoo ttaallkk aabboouutt iinn sseessssiioonnss.. SSoommee ttaakkee ppllaaccee oovveerr aa lloonnggeerr ttiimmee ffrraammee ppeeooppllee mmiigghhtt wwaanntt mmoorree ddiirreeccttiivvee hheellpp tthhaann tthhaann ssoommee ootthheerr aapppprrooaacchheess.. tthhiiss ffoorrmm ooff ccoouunnsseelllliinngg ttyyppiiccaallllyy pprroovviiddeess.. GESTALT THERAPY GGeessttaalltt tthheerraappyy iiss aannootthheerr ffoorrmm ooff hhuummaanniissttiicc tthheerraappyy bbaasseedd oonn tthhee bbeelliieeff iinn aa cclliieenntt’’ss nnaattuurraall aabbiilliittyy ttoo aacchhiieevvee hheeaalltthhyy bbaallaannccee aanndd ggrroowwtthh.. DDeevveellooppeedd bbyy ppssyycchhootthheerraappiissttss FFrriittzz aanndd LLaauurraa PPeerrllss,, iitt ppllaacceess aa ssttrroonngg ffooccuuss oonn iimmmmeeddiiaaccyy iinn aaddddiittiioonn ttoo tthhee cclliieenntt//ccoouunnsseelllloorr rreellaattiioonnsshhiipp.. AAlltthhoouugghh aannyy sskkiilllleedd tthheerraappiisstt wwiillll ppaayy aatttteennttiioonn ttoo yyoouurr bbooddyy llaanngguuaaggee,, aa GGeessttaalltt tthheerraappiisstt iiss mmoorree lliikkeellyy ttoo ccoommmmeenntt oonn tthhiiss.. TThheeyy mmiigghhtt tteellll yyoouu tthheeyy nnoottiiccee yyoouu ttaappppiinngg yyoouurr ffeeeett wwhheenn ddiissccuussssiinngg aa ppaarrttiiccuullaarr ttooppiicc,, ffoorr iinnssttaannccee,, aanndd eennccoouurraaggee yyoouu ttoo Some prefer to focus on the present than revisit childhood PSYCHOLOGY NOW 9