Psychologies UK November 2020

100 Pages·2020·42.81 MB·English

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0
● £4.70

LESSONS
IN CALM

A year in

a Buddhist
monastery

P S Y C H O L O G I E S . C O . U K

14-PAGE
DOSSIER

LIFE SCHOOL

● Feel positive in

just 15 minutes

● Set healthy

boundaries
at home

● Learn to be

more flexible

What holds you back from real connection?

RESET & RECHARGE: THE SECRET TO DEEP, ENERGISING SLEEP

Create honest,
kind relationships

Discover your
authentic self

with ‘Iceman’

Wim Hof

U K E D I T I O N

LOST
YOUR
SPARK?

Overcome

bullying
at work

Activate
your full
potential

Truth rules: how vulnerability deepens bonds

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0
£4.70

LESSONS
LESSONS
IN CALM
IN CALM

A year in
A year in

a Buddhist
a Buddhist
monastery
monastery

P S Y C H O L O G I E S . C O . U K

14-PAGE
DOSSIER

LIFE SCHOOL

Feel positive in
Feel positive in
just 15 minutes
just 15 minutes
Set healthy
Set healthy
boundaries
boundaries
boundaries
at home
at home
Learn to be
Learn to be
more flexible
more flexible

What holds you back from real connection?
What holds you back from real connection?

Create honest,
Create honest,
Create honest,
Create honest,
Create honest,
Create honest,

kind relationships
kind relationships

Create honest,

kind relationships

Create honest,

authentic self
authentic self
authentic self
authentic self
authentic self
authentic self

with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’
with ‘Iceman’

Wim Hof
Wim Hof
Wim Hof
Wim Hof
Wim Hof
Wim Hof

LOST
LOST
YOUR
YOUR
YOUR
YOUR
YOUR
YOUR
SPARK?
SPARK?

Overcome
Overcome

bullying
bullying
bullying
bullying
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
at work
bullying
at work
bullying
bullying
at work
bullying
bullying
at work
bullying
at work

Activate
Activate
Activate
Activate
your full
your full
potential
potential
potential
your full
potential
your full
your full
potential
your full
your full
potential
your full
potential
your full
potential
your full

Truth rules: how vulnerability deepens bonds
Truth rules: how vulnerability deepens bonds

• No preservatives, colourings or artificial flavourings
• Non constipating liquid formula
• Highly absorbable iron gluconate
• Vitamin C to increase iron absorption
• Suitable for vegetarians
• Suitable during pregnancy and breastfeeding

www.floradix.co.uk

Tesco, Pharmacies and health stores

Subject to availability

Iron contributes to the reduction of
tiredness and to the normal function
of the immune system

NOVEMB ER 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 3

relationships
Build honest

42 * The Dossier

44 WHY DO YOU HIDE THE REAL YOU?
Does people pleasing and not saying how
you feel and what you want affect your bonds
with others? Psychologies Associate Editor
Anita Chaudhuri explores how to be frank and
show your true feelings when communicating,
so you can find your voice and fully express
your emotions and opinions

52 WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK FROM
BEING HONEST WITH PEOPLE?
If you struggle to express your real feelings
in relationships, take our insightful test by
psychotherapist Sally Brown to find out
what you need to form more authentic
connections: trust, awareness, self-belief
or self-acceptance

Features

7 EDITOR’S LETTER

8 LETTERS

9 I’D LIKE TO THANK…

11 THE FIX

17 HARRIET MINTER

98 PEMA CHÖDRÖN

Regulars

18 * COMFORTING YOUNG ME
Julie Gibson could not shift her
depression – then her therapist
suggested a day with her inner child

22 * COACH YOURSELF
A harmonious home life is essential
for wellbeing. Yasmine Diba helps
a reader set domestic boundaries
and prioritise time for self-care

25 * EMOTIONAL MINIBREAKS
Introvert and coach Lucy Griffiths
helps us recharge with little breathers

26 * SURVIVE THE BULLIES
Sometimes it’s so underhand, we
don’t realise we are being bullied.
A woman who was tormented at work
tells her story, and how she escaped
with her confidence intact

30 ‘I RESENT MY HUSBAND’
Our wise agony aunt, Mary Fenwick,
gives her unique perspective to three
readers with life dilemmas

33 WRITE TO FLOURISH
Columnist, coach and author Jackee
Holder shares her creative writing
journey and tips for healing journalling

34 * ‘I’M TOO RIGID IN LIFE’
Our award-winning coach, Kim
Morgan, guides a woman who craves
order – at the expense of happiness

PHOTOGRAPH: GETTY IMAGES

Contents

NOVEMBER 2020

Find authentic connection

Cover: Getty Images

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18

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26

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76

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42

Page
36

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75

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34

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25

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22

42

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The Retreat

80 SOUNDS GOOD
Rachel Dobson shares her
latest podcast obsessions

82 LIVING
Put soul into your home with
sustainable pieces you love

88 FEASTING
Reconnect with family
and friends over brunch

94 THE WORDS
Nourish your spirit in a
haven of riveting reads

Features
36 * BUDDHA’S WISDOM
Tired and stressed, Stefania
Konstantinidou swaps her
busy teaching job for a calmer,
lesson-filled life in a commune

40 IN THERAPY
UK Council for Psychotherapy
experts Sarah Niblock and
Dwight Turner discuss the
crippling emotional impact
of discrimination in society

Real Eco

60 REAL ECO AWARDS
Great products that are kind
to people and the planet

4 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE N OV E M BE R 2020

NOVEMBER 2020
Contents

18
63 ECO WORRIER
Ellen Tout explains how the
climate crisis is linked to Covid

64 GROW YOURSELF
Mindful gardener Dav Piper
roots down for the winter
Real Wellness

68 MINDFUL WELLNESS
The holistic way to revolutionise
your health with Ali Roff Farrar

75 * SLEEP WELL
Nutrition Editor Eve Kalinik
tucks us in for restorative rest

76 * ICEMAN COMETH
World sensation Wim Hof helps
Suzy Walker unlock her power

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AUGUST 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 5
AUGUST 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE

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