Proactive 12 steps for mindful recovery

90 Pages·2016·1.36 MB·English

A MINDFUL PROGRAM
FOR LASTING CHANGE
The Proactive
Twelve Steps
Serge Prengel
ALL-NEW 6TH EDITION
Thank you!

I so appreciate your willingness to endorse this book. As I
bring it into the world, I feel supported by great people.

Endorsements are in the last pages of this book, starting at
what would be page 191.

(in alphabetical order)

Judith Blackstone, PhD, Author, Trauma and the Unbound
Body and Belonging Here

Miss Emma Marnie Burchill

Eva Gold, PsyD, Author, Buddhist Psychology and Gestalt
Therapy Integrated: Psychotherapy for the 21st Century

Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Foundation Professor of Psychology,
University of Nevada, Reno. Originator and co-developer
of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Suzanne Noel, Founder, Recovery Focusing

Sarah Peyton, Author, Your Resonant Self: Guided
Meditations and Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity
for Healing

Stephen W. Porges, PhD, Distinguished University Scientist,
Kinsey Institute, Indiana University Bloomington
Professor, Department of Psychiatry, University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill
Mark Schenker, PhD, Author, A Clinician's Guide to 12-Step
Recovery

Marjorie Schuman, PhD, Author, Inquiring Deeply:
Mindfulness-Informed Relational Psychotherapy and
Psychoanalysis

Inge Sengelmann, LCSW, SEP, RYT, Author, It's Time to EAT:
Embody, Awaken & Transform our Relationship with Food,
Body & Self

Kristen Ulmer, Author, The Art of Fear

Jeff Warren, Co-author, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics

Jan Winhall, MSW, FOT, Author, Treating Trauma and
Addiction with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model
The Proactive Twelve Steps

A Mindful Program For Lasting Change

All-New Sixth Edition

Serge Prengel

Active Pause®
The Proactive Twelve Steps and a discussion of each step are available
to all at proactive12steps.com

This is the 6th edition of the Proactive Twelve Steps.
The 4th and 5th editions were not published in book form,
just on the website.

Cover photo: Alejandro Barba / Unsplash

© Copyright 2021 Serge Prengel

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Active Pause®
ISBN: 978-1-892482-36-5
A Mindful Program For Lasting Change 3
Contents

Introduction 1

Part 1: Step by step 5
How to walk the walk 7
Step 1 11
Step 2 15
Step 3 18
Step 4 23
Step 5 27
Step 6 31
Step 7 37
Step 8 44
Step 9 50
Step 10 55
Step 11 59
Step 12 64
Part 2: A mindful & proactive roadmap 69
Stop self-defeating behaviors now 72
“I” vs “We” 74
Serenity, courage & wisdom 76
The shifts of Steps 1 to 3 80
The notion of ecosystem 86
Codependency 90
A creative dialogue with your inner critic 96
How dysfunctional behaviors make sense 101
The process of Steps 4 to 10 104
What it means to live in the moment 107
From reactive to proactive 109

Part 3: A perspective informed by neuroscience 115
The 3 circuits of the autonomous nervous system 118
What happens in civilized life 121
Coping mechanisms 126
The healing process 128

Part 4: A spiritual & philosophical context 133
Agnostics & atheists in a God environment 136
Higher Power & Inner Power 143
Faith in human nature 147
A Mindful Program For Lasting Change 5
Appendix 1: The Proactive Twelve Steps 153

Appendix 2: How to share this process
with a friend or a group 157
How to structure the sessions 159
Active Listening 162

Appendix 3: From self-control to co-regulation:
Conversation with neuroscientist Stephen Porges 167
Self in interaction 171
Embodied experience 175
Trauma, respect & shame 181
Personal narratives, safety & connection 185

Resources 189

About 190

Endorsements of The Proactive Twelve Steps 191
This 6th edition replaces previous editions
with all-new contents.
Introduction

We all go through life having an internal view of
ourselves and an external view of other people. That is,
we are all too aware of the messiness of how we think
and feel and do things. But we only see other people
from the outside.
What flavor does it have for you? Do you have the
sense that you’re hopelessly messed up in a way that
nobody else could be? Or, maybe, that everybody else is
too stupid to notice the complexities of life? It is hard
to truly understand yourself and make lasting changes
when you keep looking down on yourself or others.
Maybe you have found some kinship in support
groups. But, even with these people, you may not feel
fully connected. You may feel stuck with an impossible
dilemma. Either you're in and lose yourself, or you are
yourself and stay an outsider.
How can you find yourself and be yourself amid the
pressures of life? How can you make lasting changes
that become second nature?
Welcome to the human condition. We all struggle.
To paraphrase my friend Jeff Warren, a noted
meditation teacher and author: Being human isn’t easy. It
takes practice.
This book is about the practice of being human. It
describes a mindful process of self-discovery that leads
to lasting change, inspired by the Twelve Steps of A.A.