Portraits of Decolonizing Praxis: How the Lives of Critically Engaged Pinay Scholars Inform

346 Pages·2012·3.32 MB·English

UC Santa Cruz
UC Santa Cruz Electronic Theses and Dissertations
Title
Portraits of Decolonizing Praxis: How the Lives of Critically Engaged Pinay Scholars Inform
Their Work
Permalink
https://escholarship.org/uc/item/5f90f7z8
Author
Nievera-Lozano, Melissa-Ann Nielo
Publication Date
2016
License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/ 4.0

Peer reviewed|Thesis/dissertation
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University of California
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
SANTA CRUZ

PORTRAITS OF DECOLONIZING PRAXIS:
HOW THE LIVES OF CRITICALLY ENGAGED PINAY SCHOLARS
INFORM THEIR WORK

A dissertation submitted in partial satisfaction
of the requirements for the degree of

DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

In

EDUCATION

by

Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano

June 2016

The Dissertation of Melissa-Ann Nielo
Nievera-Lozano is approved:

____________________________________
Professor Cindy Cruz, chair

____________________________________
Professor Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales

____________________________________
Professor Emerita Rosa-Linda Fregoso

_____________________________
Tyrus Miller
Vice Provost and Dean of Graduate Studies
Copyright © by
Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano
2016
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................... 1
WHEN THE GONGS ECHO, OUR HISTORY REVERBERATES ............................................... 1
BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY ......................................................................................... 3
CONCEPTUAL AND THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK .............................................................. 7.
TRANSFORMATIVE INTELLECTUALS ............................................................................. 10
THE RHYTHM OF THESE PORTRAITS .............................................................................. 11
CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW ................................................................... 14
DEMOGRAPHIC IMPERATIVE ...................................................................................... 1. 4
EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES OF FILIPINA/O AMERICANS (NOT NECESSARILY YOUR
MODEL MINORITY) ...................................................................................................... 15
STUCK ON THE MODEL MINORITY MYTH: 1960S – PRESENT ........................................ 15
DISMANTLING THE MYTH:
AAPI College-Going Rates and the Complexity Within ............................................ 18
Factors Negatively Affecting AAPI Academic Performanc e..................................... 18
Examining Gender Gives Insight to Academic Struggle . ........................................ 23
Examining the Colonial Experiences Gives Insight to Academic Strugg l.e............... 24
Filipinos in Higher Education .................................................................................. 26
CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY AND METHODS ............................................... 30
TOWARDS EMBODIED PORTRAITURE ............................................................................. 31
Taking a Perspective ................................................................................................ 34
The Importance of Context ...................................................................................... .34
Multiple Forms of Voice and Power ......................................................................... 35
Critique of Portraiture ............................................................................................. 3. 8
Raced Lives in Portraiture: Illustrated through Critical Race Theory, Poetry, and
Jazz .......................................................................................................................... 4. 0
Portraiture’s Relationship to Case Study and Forms of Ora .l.................................. 50
Language and Power in Portraiture ........................................................................ 52
A NEW EMBODIED PORTRAITURE: COLONIALITY + WOMEN OF COLOR THEORIES ........... 58
Critical Women of Color Theories ............................................................................ 61
RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODS ................................................................................ 63
Sample Selection ..................................................................................................... 63
Data Collection and Analysis .................................................................................. 65
Research Risks ......................................................................................................... 66
Confidentiality ......................................................................................................... 67
Limitations of the Study ........................................................................................... .67
The How Means So Much More .............................................................................. 68
CHAPTER IV: PORTRAIT OF LENY STROBEL ................................................... 70
WHO IS DR. LENY STROBEL? ........................................................................................ 70
HOW IT COMES FULL CIRCLE ....................................................................................... 71
iii
BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE .................................................................................. 73
AIN’T FEELIN’ THE ACADEMY ...................................................................................... 77
A SELF-BUILT PLATFORM IN COMMUNION WITH OTHERS ............................................. 82
WHAT IS EDUCATION? ................................................................................................. 84
WHEN IT HITS HOME ................................................................................................... 88
WHEN THE WORLD GOES DARK, STARS ARE THERE ..................................................... 90
DREAMING AS KNOWLEDGE PRODUCTION .................................................................... 93
PERSONAL VOICE AS MEDITATION ............................................................................... 95
TEACHING TODAY THROUGH KAPWA (INTERCONNECTEDNESS) ................................... 98
GRATITUDE TO ATE LENY .......................................................................................... 100
CHAPTER V: PORTRAIT OF DAWN MABALON ............................................... 103
WHO IS DAWN MABALON? ....................................................................................... .104
BUT THIS WAS NOT MY DREAM AT FIRST ................................................................. 107
HOW I CAME TO MY TRUTH ....................................................................................... 110
“SOMEONE BELIEVED IN ME”: HOW MENTORS AND LOVED ONES LIGHT THE WAY .... 112
IMPOSTER SYNDROME: BEING PINAY IN THE INSTITUTION OF THE ACADEMY .............. 117
SACRIFICING THE BODY ON THE HAMSTER WHEEL ...................................................... 125
REFLECTING ON THE PATH AND THE IMPACT ............................................................. 1. 30
WHY I’M HERE .......................................................................................................... 132
GRATITUDE TO DAWN ............................................................................................... 133
CHAPTER VI: PORTRAIT OF ROBYN RODRIGUEZ ....................................... 135
WHO IS ROBYN RODRIGUEZ? ..................................................................................... 137
UNION CITY IN THE LATE 80S: MY YOUTHOOD, MY POLITICS .................................... 139
WATCHING RACE AND RACISM UNFOLD .................................................................... 143
HIGHER LEARNING IN THE 90S: HOW A BOOK AND A MENTOR CHANGED THE GAME .. 148
ACADEMIC TENURE: SURVIVAL AS A WOMAN OF COLOR ............................................ 154
ARRIVING IN THE BODY: THE IMPOSTURE SYNDROME, REFLECTION AND HEALING ..... 159
WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS: SHARING WEALTH AS A SCHOLAR-ACTIVIST ....................... 163
GRATITUDE TO ROBYN ............................................................................................... 166
CHAPTER VII: PORTRAIT OF ROWENA TOMANENG .................................... 168
WHO IS ROWENA TOMANENG? ................................................................................... 168
THE MEANING BEHIND THE BADGE ........................................................................... 169
THE HARM OF AMERICAN SCHOOLING ........................................................................ 171
AMERICAN SETTLEMENT: HEARTBREAK AND HORIZONS ............................................. 172
THE AIRPLANE INCIDENT .......................................................................................... 1. 77
CHANGING DIRECTIONS ............................................................................................. 178
THE SOUL WOUND OF MARGINALIZATION .................................................................. 181
NEW MOVES, NEW CHALLENGES ............................................................................... 183
RADICALIZING FROM BELOW ..................................................................................... 187
BRANCHING OUT WITH STUDENTS AND COMMUNITY .................................................. 189
TRANSLATING LIFE EXPERIENCE TO PEDAGOGY ......................................................... 192
iv
FROM RAGE TO RESTORATION ................................................................................... 193
MY FAMILY IS MY GROUND ....................................................................................... 196
GRATITUDE TO ROWENA ........................................................................................... 1. 99
CHAPTER VIII: PORTRAIT OF LIZA ERPELO .................................................. 201
WHO IS LIZA ERPELO? ............................................................................................... 203
THE BIRTH OF AN EDUCATION .................................................................................... 205
THE CATHOLIC CONVERSATION ................................................................................. 206
GENDER LINES BLURRED INSIDE AND OUT ................................................................ 208
NOT FILIPINO QUITE YET… UNTIL THE BOOKS FOUND ME ........................................ 215
STORYTELLING (AND SEEING OUR STORIES) AS A POLITICAL ACT .............................. 2. 18
MOMENTS OF BREATH THROUGH THE WORK .............................................................. 2. 24
BUILDING THE PIPELINE ............................................................................................. 227
GRATITUDE TO LIZA .................................................................................................. 228
CHAPTER IX: PORTRAIT OF SARITA SEE ........................................................ 230
IT’S TAKEN ME A LONG TIME TO SAY THIS: WHO IS SARITA SEE? ............................. .232
A GLOBAL MIXED PINAY’S INTRODUCTION TO RACE .................................................. 235
THERE IS CLASS, AND YET SOMETHING MORE ............................................................ 2. 39
A CHILD OF EMPIRE FIGHTS BACK: THE TENURE BATTLE .......................................... 242
THE EMPIRE WITHIN: BEING SPLIT FROM THE INSIDE ................................................. 249
FINDING SANITY, COLLECTIVELY AND PRIVATELY ...................................................... 252
THRIVING IN THE ACADEMY WITH A PERSONALLY, POLITICALLY DEFINED ROLE ........ 259
ADVICE TO PINAYS: HOW TO THRIVE ......................................................................... 225
GRATITUDE TO SARITA .............................................................................................. 260
CHAPTER X: ANALYSIS ....................................................................................... .263
UNRAVELING THE COCOON: PAIN + LOVE= GROWTH .................................................. 263
TOWARDS SUTURED PORTRAITURE ............................................................................. 265
METAMORPHOSIS: TRANSFORMATIONS THROUGH THE WEAVING ................................ 266
A NEW ANALYSIS: FRESH BUT LASTING IMPRESSIONS ................................................. 269
DISENCHANTMENT OF EMPIRE ................................................................................. .271
Looking at Legacies of Empire: Bridges for Migration of Body, Mind, and So .u..l. 272
The Silences that Uphold Empire: Instances of Invalidatio .n................................ 275
The Anger: Digging Up Empire Towards Reconciliatio n...................................... 279
RESISTANT SOCIALITIES ............................................................................................. 2. 83
A PINAYIST PEDAGOGICAL PRAXIS: WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE .......................................... 287
FLUTTER BY AND FLY ON .......................................................................................... .294
CHAPTER XI: CONCLUSION ................................................................................ 295
A MEDITATION ON STORYTELLING AS FREEDOM ......................................................... 295
NO PRESCRIPTION, NO FORMULA: BECOMING A PINAY SCHOLAR-ACTIVIST ................ 296
SOUL WOUND AND THE HEALING PROCESS (HILOT) .................................................... 297
STORIES AS LIFE, LIVING, AND LIFE-GIVING ............................................................... 298
v
COALITION-BUILDING, COALITIONAL CONSCIOUSNESS ............................................... 298
BEING A WOMEN OF COLOR IN THE UNIVERSITY IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE .............. 301
IT TAKES A VILLAGE .................................................................................................. 302
COMPASSION IS THE ANSWER. ALWAYS. ..................................................................... 303
APPENDICES ............................................................................................................ 305
BIBLIOGRAPHY ...................................................................................................... 312

vi
LIST OF FIGURES AND CHARTS

FIGURE 1:
COGNITIVE MAP OF RESEARCH STUDY ................................................................. 8

CHART 1:
EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT FOR CALIFORNIA POPULATION 25 YEARS
AND OLDER BY RACE/ETHNICITY. 2006-2008 ....................................................... 20

CHART 2:
EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT FOR CALIFORNIA POPULATION 25 YEARS
AND OLDER BY AA SUBGROUP. 2006-2008 ............................................................ 20

CHART 3:
EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT AMONG AAPIS (3-YEAR AVERAGE), 2006-
2008 ............................................................................................................................... 21

CHART 4:
LIST OF RESEARCH PARTICIPANTS ....................................................................... 64

vii
ABSTRACT OF DISSERTATION
Portraits of Decolonizing Praxis:
How the Lives of Critically Engaged Pinay Scholars Inform Their Work

Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano
There is a dearth of knowledge about educationally disadvantaged groups
particularly within the Asian American/Pacific Islander (AAPI) population, as
1
research does not adequately provide disaggregated data. As such, this study
particularly focuses on the intersecting sociocultural processes and educational
experiences of Filipina American (Pinay) students-turned-professors to understand
the transformative nature of their epistemologies and its manifestations in their work
as scholar-activists.
Moving beyond questions of race/ethnicity, this study acknowledges the
American classroom as both a fragile and powerful place of becoming; where
“emerging identities are being invented within a contestation of dominant discourses
2
of [not just] race, [but also] class, gender, and sexuality.” It extends from the
understanding that the exclusion of particular histories, cultures, texts, and ways of
knowing in the traditional university has forced the construction of new alternative
spaces, wherein the production of knowledge requires creative, critical, and collective
3
thinking towards radical transformation. Thus, through the lens of women-of-color

1
Chang, M., Fung, G., Nakanishi, D., Ogawa, R., Um, K., Takahashi, L., De La Cruz-Viesca, M., et al. (2009).
The state of Asian American, native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander education in California report. Los Angeles:
University of California Asian American and Pacific Islander Policy Multicampus Research Program (UC AAPI
Policy MRP) Education Working Group. Retrieved from http://escholarship.org/uc/item/3s89c1cm.pdf
2
Cruz, C. (2001). Toward an epistemology of a brown body. International Journal of Qualitative Studies in
Education, 14(5), 657–669.
3
Collins, P. (1996). The Social Construction of Black Feminist Thought. In A. Garry & M. Persall (Eds.), Women,
Knowledge, and Reality: Explorations in Feminist Philosophy. New York: Routledge.
viii
theory, this work employs an intersectional framework, which sees these social
4
categories created by colonialism as mutually constitutive across contexts.
Written in the tradition of Moraga and Anzaldúa's This Bridge Called My
Back, this study holds conversations with six Pinay scholar-activists. It pulls from
memory, breaking long-held silences as it boldly sutures together glimpses of
personal confrontations with coloniality (Lugones, 2007; Maldonado-Torres, 2007)
across their lifetimes from childhood to womanhood, from within the American
classroom and beyond. This critical looking inward of one’s private (and often
painful) formations of race, class, and gender reveals the unstable growth of a Pinay
scholar-activist’s personal/political identity. By drawing from an assembled,
unorthodox framework of decolonized feminist thought and Buddhist philosophy, this
study operationalizes the methodology of embodied portraiture to capture,i nterpret,
and illustrate the ways in which transformative moments in these scholars lives shape
their work. What surfaces is a shared story of how these women of color come to
inhabit their paradoxical position within empire through the experiences and practices
of silence, anger, and reconciliation; as well as the creation and participation of
resistant socialities; helping to extend the work of Pinayist pedagogical praxis .

4
Lugones, M. (2007). Heterosexualism and the colonial/modern gender system. Hypatia, 22(1), 186–219.
ix