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Picking Up and Acting Out: Politics of Masculinity in the Seduction Community PDF

142 Pages·2007·1.71 MB·English
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TO REACH THE AUTHOR, PLEASE EMAIL: [email protected] Picking Up and Acting Out: Politics of Masculinity in the Seduction Community Elana J. Clift AMS 679HA & 679HB Special Honors in the Department of American Studies The University of Texas at Austin May 2007 ____________________________________________ Janet M. Davis Department of American Studies Supervising Professor ____________________________________________ Elizabeth Engelhardt Department of American Studies Second Reader 2 ABSTRACT Picking Up and Acting Out: Politics of Masculinity in the Seduction Community Elana J. Clift, Bachelor of Arts in American Studies The University of Texas at Austin, 2007 Janet M. Davis, Supervising Professor The “Seduction Community” broadly defines a subculture of men who follow varying philosophies and methods to achieve success with women. Their goal is to transform themselves from what they term “average frustrated chumps” into skilled “pickup artists.” The majority of my research into the Seduction Community has been observational field study; incorporated into this research is historical analysis. By acquainting myself with a number of pickup artists, I have been able to observe as well as informally interview these men in order to ascertain the motivations, goals, and behavioral patterns of members of the Seduction Community. While my study will contribute to the continuing discourse of men’s studies, it is unique in that it is the first academic study of the Seduction Community. The purpose of this project is to determine the social context that has given rise to such a vibrant subculture, and to speculate on its broader gender and social significance. In attempting to deconstruct the American cultural climate that has produced the Seduction Community, I examine a few concrete factors: the continuously shifting aspects of men’s culture, the collapse of elaborate courtship rituals, the impact of feminist ideals on popular thought, and the proliferation of the Internet. Although these distinct elements can be identified as causes for the community’s existence, they are also intertwined in a complicated web. By recognizing these distinct aspects, however, I distinguish the motivations behind the formation and explosion of the Seduction Community. I determine that the community is composed of many elements that are borrowed from America’s cultural past, making it more reflective than revolutionary. I propose that what is unique, however, is the distinct manner in which these various elements have coalesced to form a community of men, bonding through shared experiences and acting together to accomplish similar goals. For my brother, who taught me how to tie my shoes, read, drive a car, and so much more. TABLE OF CONTENTS List of Images………………………………………………………………………….…......vi Acknowledgments…………………………………………………………………….…......vii Introduction: Pickup or Shut Up…………………………………………………….……..….1 Chapter 1: Contextualizing the Culture of Modern Casanovas……….………………..……15 Chapter 2: Pickup and Then What? From Calling Cards to Closing the Deal………………52 Chapter 3: Roots of Reaction and Forming Attraction………………………………………79 Chapter 4: Cyber Seduction: Internet Newsgroups to International Pickup Conventions….102 Conclusion: My Life as a Pivot: Concluding Thoughts on a Controversial Subculture..…..114 Appendix A………………..…………………………………………………………..……120 Glossary……………………………………………………………………………….……121 Bibliography……………………………………………………………………..…………128 v LIST OF IMAGES Mystery Model………………………………………………………………….……..……..29 Females By Cole…..………………………………………………………………..………..48 vi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Thanks to the men of the Austin Society. You welcomed me so willingly, I could not have done this without your stories, your honesty, and your trust. Each one of you helped to shape my conceptions of the community, and you each confounded my expectations. Thanks to my brother. You accept me without judgment, but push me to be better. I still have so much to learn from you. I concede, you are a snowflake. Thanks to my parents, who remain my role models. Thank you for always encouraging my ambitions. I love you. Thanks to Kathryn. I can say with the utmost confidence that this project would not have happened without your love and support. You are more than my writing partner, you are my best friend. Thanks to Dr. Davis, who always met me with a smile. Your easy-going nature kept me calm and helped my ideas to flourish. You are a truly wonderful teacher. Thanks to Dr. Engelhardt, the passionate feminist. Thank you for challenging me. Your emotional and academic support has been invaluable. Thanks to Ana. I don’t think I have ever seen you without an ear-to-ear smile. Your constant optimism helped me to stay sane. Thanks to Alisha and Shannon for your unique perspectives and cheerful attitudes. Thanks to Quack’s 43rd Street Bakery, where I composed ninety percent of this work. Please, invest in more comfortable chairs. vii INTRODUCTION Pickup or Shut Up Sitting at the family dinner table, I watched as my older brother, a senior in high school at the time, pushed his food around on his plate and sulked. My mother, always intuitive and attentive to our problems, asked him what was wrong. He sighed as he admitted that there was a girl at school whom he liked. “What should I do? I don’t know if she likes me!” My father piped up to offer, as he always did, a simple and practical solution, “Well, why don’t you ask her out on a date?” With an exasperated tone my brother said, “Dad! People don’t do that!” At that moment, my mother and I gave the famously useless advice “Just be yourself and she’ll like you!” He responded only with a sigh. My mother began to name all of my brother’s good qualities, as if listing these would give him the sudden self- esteem boost he needed to pursue the current girl of his dreams. As she continued citing all that he had to offer the opposite sex, I could see him holding back tears; he was not listening to a word she said. He was unaffected by our attempts to help him. Neither my mother, father, nor I was surprised by this particular conversation, it was a common one at our house and it always ended the same way. Our parents would attempt to give him guidance, and my brother would listen and nod, all the while knowing that neither of them had the advice he needed to get what he so desperately wanted: a girlfriend. 1 By the age of twenty-four, the advice “Just be yourself” had proved the extent of its uselessness, he had still never had a girlfriend. He came to the startling realization that just being himself was not enough. At the advice of a college friend, he began to investigate the Seduction Community, a society of men who focus on bettering their skills at attracting women. On message boards and websites he discovered literally thousands of other men with similar histories to his own. It was within this community that he finally found what our parents had never been able to give him well enough, the guidance and support he needed to finally become comfortable with the opposite sex. The “Seduction Community” broadly defines a subculture of men who follow varying philosophies and methods to achieve success with women. Despite differing strategies, members of the community are typically all connected by two constants: a feeling of frustration and powerlessness with their inability to attract the women they desire, and a belief that conventional dating methods are flawed. Their goal is to transform themselves from what they term “average frustrated chumps” (AFCs) into skilled “pickup artists” (PUAs). Aspiring pickup artists seek to take control over their lives by gaining an understanding of the female mind, improving their ability to function within a social context, and by achieving self-confidence. So-called seduction schools have emerged in order to provide men with both concrete skills that they can apply to their romantic lives and also the inner confidence that they believe is gained by overcoming social helplessness. Although the schools of seduction are both numerous and varying, each methodology encourages men to achieve personal improvement by accepting their flaws and conquering them. While these 2

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acquainting myself with a number of pickup artists, I have been able to . Seduction Community, members credit Eric Weber's book How to Pick Up.
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