Personal magnetism: discover your own charisma and learn to charm, inspire, and influence others

402 Pages·1997·0.92 MB·English

by  Andrew J. DuBrin

Personal Magnetism : Discover Your Own
title: Charisma and Learn to Charm, Inspire, and
Influence Others
author: DuBrin, Andrew J.
publisher: AMACOM Books
isbn10 | asin: 0814479367
print isbn13: 9780814479360
ebook isbn13: 9780585099057
language: English
subject Charisma (Personality trait)
publication date: 1997
lcc: BF698.35.C45D83 1997eb
ddc: 158.2
subject: Charisma (Personality trait)
Page iii
Personal
Magnetism
Discover Your Own
Charisma
and Learn to
Charm, Inspire, and
Influence Others
Andrew J. DuBrin
AMACOM American Management Association
New York Atlanta Boston Chicago Kansas City San Francisco Washington, D.C.
Brussels Mexico City Tokyo Toronto
Page iv
This book is available at a special
discount when ordered in bulk quantities.
For information, contact Special Sales Department,
AMACOM, a division of American Management
Association,
1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative
information
in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the
understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal,
accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other
expert
assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person
should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
DuBrin, Andrew J.
Personal magnetism: discover your own charisma and learn to
charm, inspire, and influence others / Andrew J. DuBrin.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-8144-7936-7 (pbk.)
1. Charisma (Personality trait) I. Title.
BF698.35.C45D83 1997
158.2dc21 97-11795
CIP
© 1997 Andrew J. DuBrin.
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
This publication may not be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in whole or in part,
in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
without the prior written permission of AMACOM,
a division of American Management Association,
1601 Broadway, New Yor, NY 10019.
Printing number
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3
Page v
To
Rosemary and Clare,
and their magnetic personalities
Page vii
Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
1 What Personal Magnetism Can Do for You 1
2 Projecting Magnetism Through Language and Thinking 19
Patterns
3 Achieving Magnetism Through Emotional 38
Expressiveness
4 Projecting Magnetism Through Extraverbal Techniques 56
5 Enhancing Personal Magnetism Through Flattery 75
6 Charismatic Qualities You Can Develop 93
7 Specific Bonding Actions and Attitudes 112
8 Using Humor to Exude Magnetism 129
9 Achieving Magnetism Through Neurolinguistic 150
Programming
10 Displaying Personal Magnetism Through Your Work 166
Appendix: Witty Responses for Chapter 8 185
Notes 187
Index 191
Page ix
Acknowledgments
My primary thanks on this project go to my editors at AMACOM,
Mary Glenn and Richard L. Gatjens. My production editor, Lydia
Lewis, also receives my appreciation. Thanks also to my researchers
on this project, Claire Denis in Montréal, Québec, and Wanda Perez in
Rochester, New York. Both women receive my gratitude for the
excitement and hard work they invested in this project. Also receiving
credit here are the many magnetic individuals I have encountered and
observed in my work and personal life.
Page xi
Introduction
Why do some people who are not the most talented, best educated, or
best looking and who don't come from the most supportive families
often accomplish such ends as the following?
Earn higher incomes
Get promoted more frequently
Escape being downsized
Be chosen for significant leadership positions
Receive more meaningful task force assignments
Get elected to office
Close more sales
Close bigger sales
Receive a large share of the company budget
Launch businesses that become successful
Have outstanding people in their networks
Find and hold on to more interesting friends
More readily find and attract romantic partners
Have an ample supply of tennis, golfing, or fishing buddies
Several plausible reasons can be identified to explain why some people
gain so many advantages. Perhaps they are just lucky; perhaps they have
good human relations skills or know how to play politics both on and off
the job. Conceivably, they combine all three factors. My research and
observations suggest an even deeper reason. A major success factor in
work and personal life is the possession of personal magnetism. The
term refers to a captivating, inspiring