Perfect madness : motherhood in the age of anxiety

297 Pages·2005·1.41 MB·English

by  Warner

Table of Contents Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Foreword

PART 1 - The Mommy Mystique
PREFACE - “This Mess”
Chapter 1. - Introduction: The Mommy Mystique
Chapter 2. - The New Problem That Has No Name

PART 2 - The Motherhood Religion
Chapter 3. - The Sacrificial Mother
Chapter 4. - Selfish Mothers, Forsaken Children
Chapter 5. - Millennial Motherhood
Chapter 6. - The Motherhood Religion

PART 3 - Ourselves, as Mothers
Chapter 7. - A Generation of Control Freaks
Chapter 8. - Running Scared
Chapter 9. - Winner-Take-All Parenting
Chapter 10. - Wonderful Husbands
Chapter 11. - For a Politics of Quality of Life
Chapter 12. - Conclusion

Acknowledgements
Notes
Bibliography
Index
PERFECT MADNESS
About the Author
Praise for Judith Warner’s PERFECT MADNESS
“In the end [Warner] arrives at the controversial conclusion that mothers are not
victims of outside forces but rather their own worst enemies. The bigger issue,
Ms. Warner argues, is that whether working or not, moms are consumed by what
she sees as a new ‘soul-draining’ perfectionism that’s turned parenting—from
the first ultrasound to the last college application—into a competitive sport. Ms.
Warner’s observations inject new life into what has become a long, tired debate.”
—The New York Observer
“In this polemic about contemporary motherhood, Warner argues that the gains
of feminism are no match for the frenzied perfectionism of American parenting.
In the absence of any meaningful health, child-care, or educational provisions,
martyrdom appears to be the only feasible model for successful maternity—with
destructive consequences for both mothers and children. Comparing this
situation with her experiences of child-rearing in France, Warner finds American
‘hyper-parenting’—preschool violin and Ritalin on demand—‘just plain crazy.’
The trouble is a culture that, though it places enormous private value on
children, neglects them in the arenas of public policy. She is concerned less with
sexual politics than with the more persuasive effects of the ‘winner take all’
mentality, and makes an urgent case for more socially integrated parenthood.” —
The New Yorker “Modern motherhood is exacting costs. . . . With Perfect
Madness, Warner convincingly shows the psychological damages.”
—The Washington Post Book World
“[Perfect Madness] has struck a chord among middle-class moms guilt-tripped
into being time-martyrs and trying to micromanage their children’s lives.” —
People
“A sharply observed study of motherhood in today’s culture.”
—The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Warner argues for a saner society, where everyone would have access to a
decent living and enough family time for themselves and their children.”
—Publishers Weekly
“[Judith Warner’s] words have struck a nerve with modern mothers.”
—The Richmond Times-Dispatch
“Warner has . . . inspired the beginnings of debate about where neurotic
motherhood leads.” —The Observer (London)
“Perfect Madness is the utter madness of life in a frenzy around the children. But
it also hints at the madness that is inherent in women’s attempts to be ‘perfect
mothers’ and have ‘perfect’ children. As a result, they give up everything that
distinguished them as individual women—with a variety of wishes, desires, and
interests—before they became mothers.” —Ha’Aretz (Israel)
ALSO BY JUDITH WARNER
Hillary Clinton: The Inside Story
Newt Gingrich: Speaker to America
(by Judith Warner and Max Berley)
In and Out of Vogue
(by Grace Mirabella with Judith Warner)
You Have the Power: How to Take Back Our Country
and Restore Democracy in America
(by Howard Dean with Judith Warner)

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP
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Copyright © 2005, 2006 by Judith Warner

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Warner, Judith.
Perfect madness : motherhood in the age of anxiety / Judith Warner.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
eISBN : 978-1-4406-2016-4
1. Motherhood—United States. 2. Mothers—United States—Social conditions.
3. Mothers—United States—Psychology. 4. Guilt. I. Title.
HQ759.W
306.874’3—dc22
306.874’3—dc22

http://us.penguingroup.com
To my mother—
Who fed me Yodels and Chef Boy-Ar-Dee
Who let me drink coffee (but Gatorade, never)
Who laughed with me until the tears rolled down our faces
And whose love and support never end.

And to Max, Julia, and Emilie—
In gratitude, and with all my love