Parodies of the Works of English and American Authors Vol One by Walter Hamilton PDF
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Title: Parodies of the Works of English and American Authors, Vol I Author: Various Release Date: June 14, 2020 [EBook #62396] Language: English Character set encoding: UTF-8 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PARODIES *** Produced by Chris Curnow, Jane Robins and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive) PARODIES OF THE WORKS OF ENGLISH & AMERICAN AUTHORS, COLLECTED AND ANNOTATED BY WALTER HAMILTON, Fellow of the Royal Geographical and Royal Historical Societies; Author of "A History of National Anthems and Patriotic Songs," "A Memoir of George Cruikshank;" "The Poets Laureate of England;" "The Æsthetic Movement in England," etc. D'ISRAELI'S Curiosities of Literature. "We maintain that, far from converting virtue into a parodox, and degrading truth by ridicule, PARODY will only strike at what is chimerical and false; it is not a piece of buffoonery so much as a critical exposition. What do we parody but the absurdities of writers, who frequently make their heroes act against nature, common-sense, and truth? After all, it is the public, not we, who are the authors of these PARODIES." VOLUME I, CONTAINING PARODIES OF THE POEMS OF ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON, HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, BRET HARTE, THOMAS HOOD, AND THE REVEREND C. WOLFE. REEVES & TURNER, 196, STRAND, LONDON, W.C. 1884. THOBURN & CO., St. Bride's Steam Press, 136, Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, London, E.C. PREFACE. When this Collection was originally projected, it seemed so unlikely to receive much support from the general public that it was intended to publish a few only of the best Parodies of each author. After the issue of the first few numbers, however, it became evident that "a hit—a palpable hit—" had been made, the sale rapidly increased, and subscribers not only expressed their desire that the collection should be made as nearly complete as possible, but by the loans of scarce books, and copies of Parodies, helped to make it so. This involved an alteration in the original arrangement, and as it would have been monotonous to fill a whole number of sixteen pages with parodies of one short poem, such as those on "Excelsior," or Wolfe's Ode, it became necessary to spread them over several numbers. In the Index, which has been carefully compiled, references will be found, under the titles of the original Poems, to all the parodies mentioned. In all cases, where it has been possible to do so, full titles and descriptions of the works quoted from, have been given; any omission to do this has been unintentional, and will be at once rectified on the necessary information being supplied. To the following gentlemen I am much indebted for assistance in the formation of this collection, either by granting permission to quote from their works, or by their original contributions:—Messrs. Lewis Carroll (author of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"), G. P. Beckley, James Gordon, John Lane, J. W. Morris, Walter Parke (author of "The Lays of the Saintly"), H. Cholmondeley Pennell (author of "Puck on Pegasus"), Major-General Rigaud, Edward Simpson, G. R. Sims, Basil H. Soulsby, Edward Walford, M.A. (Editor of "The Antiquarian Magazine"), J. W. Gleeson White, W. H. K. Wright, Public Library, Plymouth, and John Whyte, Public Library, Inverness. A great deal of bibliographical information was sent me by my late lamented friend, the learned and genial Mr. William Bates, Editor of "The Maclise Portrait Gallery;" his brother, Mr. A. H. Bates; the Rev. T. W. Carson, of Dublin; and Miss Orton, have also given me valuable assistance. In a few cases where parodies are to be found in easily accessible works, extracts only have been quoted, or references given; but it is intended in future, wherever permission can be obtained, to give each parody in full, as they are found to be useful for public entertainments, and recitations. When the older masters of our Literature are reached, a great deal of curious and amusing information will be given, and it is intended to conclude with a complete bibliographical account of PARODY, with extracts and translations from all the principal works on the topic. Whilst arranging the present volume, I have been gathering materials for those to come, which will illustrate the works of those old writers whose names are familiar in our mouths as household words. Much that is not only quaint and amusing will thus be collected, whilst many illustrations of our literature, both in prose and verse, which are valuable to the student, will for the first time be methodically arranged, annotated, and published in a cheap and accessible form. WALTER HAMILTON. 64, BROMFELDE ROAD, CLAPHAM, LONDON, S.W. December, 1884. INDEX. ISAAC D'ISRAELI. "Le sujet que l'on entreprend de parodier doit toujours être un ouvrage connu, célèbre, estimé. La critique d'une pièce médiocre ne peut jamais devenir intéressante, ni piquer la curiosité. Il faut que l'imitation soit fidèle, que les plaisantéries naissent du fond des choses, et paraissent s'être présentées d'elles-mêmes, sans avoir coûté aucune peine." Mémoire sur l'origine de la Parodie, etc. Par M. l' Abbé Sallier, 1733. "It was because Homer was the most popular poet, that he was most susceptible of the playful honours of the Greek parodist; unless the prototype is familiar to us, a parody is nothing!" The authors of the original poems are arranged in alphabetical order; the titles of the original poems are printed in small capitals, followed by the Parodies. Charles S. Calverley. Notice of 62 Thomas Campbell. HOHENLINDEN— "In London, when the Queen was Low," 1882 12 William Cowper. JOHN GILPIN— John Bulljohn, 1882 12 Bret Harte. PLAIN LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL JAMES 135 The Heathen Pass-ee 135 A Kiss in the Dark 136 That Germany Jew, 1874 137 St. Denys of France, 1882 137 That Infidel Earl, 1882 138 Truthful James's Song of the Shirt 139 FURTHER LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL JAMES 138 Remarks about Othello, 1876 139 The Bloomin' Flower of Rorty Gulch 140 Thomas Hood. THE SONG OF THE SHIRT— Trials and Troubles of a Tourist 114 The Song of the Spurt, 1865 114 The Song of the Sheet, 1865 115 The Song of the Street, 1865 115 The Song of the Stump, 1868 116 The Song of the Flirt, 1872 116 The Song of the Wire, 1874 117 The Song of Love, 1874 117 The Song of the Cram, 1876 118 The Slave of the Pen, 1875 118 The Song of the Sword 118 The Song of a Sot 119 The Song of "The Case," 1875 119 The Song of the Turk in 1877 120 The Song of the Flirt, 1880 120 The Janitor's Song 121 The Song of the Shirk, 1882 121 The Brood on the Beard 122 The Song of the Dirt, 1884 123 The Wail of a Proof-reader, 1884 123 The Bitter Cry, 1884 124 The Song of the Lines, 1873 129 The Song of the Drunkard 129 The Song of the "Prickly Heat," 1859 129 The Song of the Clerk 130 The Song of the Horse, 1844 190 The Lament of Ashland 190 The Song of the Post, 1877 191 The Song of the Dance, 1877 191 The Song of the Soldier's Shirt, 1879 192 The Song of the Pen 192 I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER— Nursery Reminiscences 124 Parody from "Notes and Queries," 1871 124 Parodies from "The Figaro," 1874 125 Parody from "Idylls of the Rink," 1876 125 Parody from "The Man in the Moon" 130 THE BRIDGE OF SIGHS— "One more unfortunate, Ploughed for degree," 125 The Hair of the Dead, 1875 126 "Take him up tendahly, Lift him with caah" 126 The Rink of Sighs, 1876 127 The Last Appeal for Place, 1878 127 "One more Unfortunate Author in debt," 1883 128 Boots of Size 128 THE DREAM OF EUGENE ARAM— The Fall of the Eminent I. (on Henry Irving) 130 On "The Iron Chest" at the Lyceum Theatre, 1879, "'Twas in the Strand, a great demand" 131 "The sky was clear; no ripple marked" 131 "'Twas in the dim Lyceum pit" 132 MISS KILMANSEGG— The Thread of Life 132 "Young Ben, he was a nice young man," 1845 133 "By different names were poets called," 1859 133 "A world of whim I wandered in of late," 1878 134 Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. A PSALM OF LIFE— A Psalm of Life Assurance, 1869 63 A Psalm of Fiction 63 Miss M. to Mr. Green 63 Bachelor's Life, 1872 64 The Maiden's Dream of Life 64 On Campbell's "Lives of the Chancellors" 64 A Noble Ambition, 1873 66 The Liberal Psalm of Life, 1875 66 A Psalm of Life at Sixty, 1879 66 "Lives of wealthy men remind us" 67 To my Scout at Breakfast 67 "Wives of great men all remind us" 67 BEWARE! Take Care 67 Beware! (of the Rink), 1876 67 Beware! (of Lord Salisbury), 1882 68 SONG OF THE SILENT LAND— Song of the Irish Land, 1881 91 Song of the Oyster Land, 1882 91 THE NORMAN BARON— The Repentant Baron, 1871 91 THE SKELETON IN ARMOUR— Calverley's Ode to Tobacco 92 THE SONG OF HIAWATHA— Hiawatha, a Parody 71 The Song of Drop o' Wather, 1856 72 Song of In-the-Water 75 Song of Lower-Water 75 The Wallflowers, 1872 75 The Song of Nicotine, 1874 76 The Bump Supper, 1874 76 The Legend of Ken-e-li, 1875 77 The Song of the Beetle 77 The Hunting of Cetewayo, 1879 78 Hiawatha's Photographing, 1883 78 The Lawn-Tennis Party at Pepperhanger, 1883 79 The Song of Hiawatha, by Shirley Brooks 80 Howlawaya, the Quack Doctor, 1853 80 Milk-and-Watha 80 Princess Toto 80 Revenge, a Rhythmic Recollection, 1877 80 The Song of Big Ben, 1877 95 The Song of Pahtahquahong, 1881 98 Piamater, by Alfred Longcove 98 THE COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH— Shortfellow sums up Longfellow 80 EVANGELINE— The Wagner Festival 80 Picnic-aline, 1855 80, 102 Nauvoo 94 Town and Gown, 1865 102 A Voice from the Far West, 1859 103 Sister Beatrice, 1882 103 THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH— The Village Blacksmith as he is, 1873 68 The Night Policeman, 1875 68 The Village Grog Shop, 1878 69 The English Judge, 1879 69 The Village Beauty, 1880 69 The British M.P., 1883 70 The Village Pax 70 The Village Woodman, 1884 70 EXCELSIOR— Excelsior in "Pidgin English"—"Topside Galah" 81 "Your name and college," 1863 81 XX—oh lor! 82 The Theatre. "Ugh! Turn him out," 1874 82 "The price of meat was rising fast," 1876 83 "Clean Your Door-step, Marm!" 83 "Egg-shell she o'er," 1876 83 Those Horrid Schools, 1861 84 That Thirty-four, 1880 84 Tobacco Smoke, 1864 84 Obstructionists 85 Endymion (by Lord Beaconsfield), 1880 85 A "Common" Grievance—"The Heath is ours!" 85 "And felt so sore" 86 Sapolio 86 13, Cross Cheaping 87 Pilosagine 87 The Imperceptible 87 Ozokerit, 1870 87 A Plumber, 1883 99 Dyspepsia, 1868 100 The Bicycle, 1880 101 Upidee, Upida 101 Exitium, 1884 101 "Don't bother us!" 1884 101 CURFEW— The Close of the Season 88 The End, 1880 88 THE BRIDGE— The Bridge (by Longus Socius), 1866 89 The Rink, 1876 89 The Whitefriargate Bridge, 1872 89 Sunset, 1873 90 "I stood in the Quad at Midnight" 98 What is in an aim, 1865 102 THE SLAVE'S DREAM— The Swell's Dream, 1883 90 THE SAGA OF KING OLAF— Queen Sigrid, the Haughty 92 The Saga of the Skaterman, 1884 93 A Modern Saga, 1879 93 The Poets on the Marriage with a Deceased Wife's Sister Bill (Parodies of Longfellow and Swinburne) 100 The Derby Week, 1878 92 William Morris. The Monthly Parodies 65 Bayard Taylor. DIVERSIONS OF THE ECHO CLUB 93 Sir Eggnogg 45 Nauvoo 94 The Sewing Machine 94 Eustace Green 181 Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Poet Laureate). Tennyson's Early Career 3 Tennyson's Lineage 28 Tennyson as Poet Laureate 33 Tennyson's Plagiarisms 181 TIMBUCTOO, The Cambridge Prize Poem, 1829, Thackeray's Parody on 3 LILIAN— Caroline 5 MARIANA— Mariana at the Railway Station 4 The Wedding Dress 5 The Bow Street Grange 17 Behind Time 48 The Clerk, 1842 57 The Baggage Man 58 On a Dull old Five-Act Play, 1848 142 The Exiled Londoner, 1848 142 Lord Tomnoddy in the Final Schools, 1868 143 "They lifted him with kindly care" 144 The M.P. on the Railway Committee, 1845 145 The Squatter's 'Baccy Famine, 1880 178 RECOLLECTIONS OF THE ARABIAN NIGHTS— Recollections of the Stock Exchange 186 A CHARACTER— A Character (M. Jullien) 24 THE POET— The Poet of the Period 6 THE BALLAD OF ORIANA— "Oriana" at the Globe Theatre 4 The Ballad of Boreäna 17 CIRCUMSTANCE— Tit for Tat 56 Circumstance, 1848 145 THE MERMAN— The Laureate 5 THE MERMAID— The Mermaid at the Aquarium 6 MARGARET— Mary Ann 9 THE TWO VOICES— The Three Voices 50 The Two Voices, as heard by Jones 186 ŒNONE— The New Œnone 16 THE SISTERS— Matrimonial Expediency 7 THE PALACE OF ART— "I built myself a high-art pleasure-house." 18 "I built my Cole a lordly pleasure-house," 1862 145 "I built myself a lordly picture-place," 1877 146 LADY CLARA VERE DE VERE— Lady Clara V. de V. 7 Baron Alfred Vere de Vere 27 Baron Alfred, T. de T. 49 Mrs. Biggs, of Brunswick Square 56 The Premier's Lament 56 Captain Falcon of the Guards, 1848 148 The Russian Czar, 1854 148 Rustic Admiration of Lady Clara, 1868 149 Lady Clara in the South, 1870 149 The Vicar's Surplice, 1875 149 Rhyme for Rogers, 1884 166 A Parody Advertisement of Velveteen 185 THE MAY QUEEN— The Biter Bit 9 The May Queen Corrected, 1879 10 A Farewell Ode to the Brompton Boilers 10 The "May" of the Queen (Judge May) 11 The Play King (Henry Irving) 11 The Opening of the New Law Courts 12 The Queen of the Fête 19 Election's Eve 20 "I'm to be One of the Peers, Vicky" 36 August the Twelfth, 1869 144 A May Dream of the Female Examination 149 The Dray Queen 150 The May Queen in the Existing Climate 151 The Sight-Seeing Emperor, 1877 152 The Welsher's Lament, 1878 152 The Modern May Queen, 1881 152 The Penge Mystery Trial, 1877 152 The May Exam. (By A. Pennysong) 153 The Premier's Lament, 1884 154 The New Lord Mayor, 1881 154 The Lord Mayor to the Lady Mayoress, 1884 154 The Last Lord Mayor to his Favourite Beadle 155 The Eve of the General Election, 1884 155 A Tory Lord on the Franchise Bill, 1884 155 On a Debate on the Franchise Bill, 1884 155 The Premier to Mrs. Gladstone, 1884 156 The Promise of May, 1882 156 The May Queen of 1879 162 "Awake I must, and early," 1861 186 Baron Honour, 1884 186 THE LOTUS EATERS— The Whitebait Eaters 8 The Ministers at Greenwich 61 A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN— "I read, before I fell into a doze" 8 "Long time I fed my eyes on that strange scene" 20 A Dream of Queer Women 54 A Dream of Fair Women, and others 55 A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN— "Dreaming, methought I heard the Laureate's Song" 55 A Dream of Great Players (Lawn Tennis) 160 The Dream of Unfair Women 181 "YOU ASK ME WHY, THO' ILL AT EASE"— The Laureate in Parliament 54 The New Umbrella, 1882 162 "OF OLD SAT FREEDOM ON THE HEIGHTS"— "Not Old, Stood Pam Upon the Heights," 1861 163 TITHONUS— Parody from "The World," 1879 60 Tithonus in Oxford 60 Lord Beaconsfield as Tithonus, 1879 163 LOCKSLEY HALL— "Cousins, leave me here a little, in Lawn Tennis you excel" 15 Bacchanalian Dreamings 15 The Lay of the Lovelorn 21 Vauxhall 23 Sir Rupert, the Red 24 Cousin Amy's View, 1878 50 Locksley Hall, before he passed his "Smalls" 163 Battue shooting, 1884 164 Granny's House, 1854 177 Codgers' Hall, 1876 185 GODIVA— The Modern Lady Godiva 13 Madame Warton as "Godiva," 1848 164 THE LORD OF BURLEIGH— Unfortunate Miss Bailey 47 Parody in "Figaro" 61 The Lord Burghley, 1884 160 The Faithless Peeler, 1848 161 The Lord of Burleigh to the Land Bill, 1881 161 A Burlington House Ballad, 1884 162 THE VOYAGE— The Excursion Train 61 Parody from "Kottabos," 1875 165 A FAREWELL— "Flow down, cold Rivulet, to the Sea"— "Bite on, thou Pertinacious Flea" 30 "Rise up, cold Reverend, to a See" 30 Ode to Aldgate Pump 30 "Flow down, false Rivulet, to the Sea" 30 THE BEGGAR MAID— The Undergrad 30 BREAK, BREAK, BREAK— To my Scout 14 The Bather's Dirge 15 The Musical Pitch 15 Tennyson at Billingsgate in 1882 15 Parody from "Snatches of Song" 24 Parody from "Punch's Almanac," 1884 24 The Unsuccessful Stock Exchange Speculator 60 Hot, Hot, Hot 165 Pelt, Pelt, Pelt 165 Wake, Wake, Wake, 1884 166 To Professor O. C. Marsh, U.S. 181 ENOCH ARDEN— Enoch Arden, continued, 1866 166 Enoch's "Hard 'Un" 167 THE BROOK— The Tinker 30 The Rinker 31 Song of the Irwell 57 Keeping Term after Commemoration 168 The Maiden's Lament, 1874 168 "Flow down, old River, to the Sea" 169 Our River (Old Father Thames), 1884 169 The (North) Brook 169 The Plumber and Builder 178 On Mr. Gladstone's Visit to Scotland (Liberal Lyrics, 1854) 179 The Train 179 The Mill, 1884 179 THE PRINCESS— The Princess Ida 52 "HOME THEY BROUGHT HER WARRIOR, DEAD"— "Home they brought her Lap-dog Dead" 29 "Home they brought her Sailor Son" 29 "Home they brought Montmorres, dead" 29 "Home they brought the Gallant Red" 57 "Home they brought the news with dread" 58 "Lay the stern old warrior down," 1865 170 "Home they brought her husband, 'tight'" 170 "Home the 'Worrier' comes! We read" 170 TEARS, IDLE TEARS— Peers, Idle Peers, 1868 170 Tears, Idle Tears, 1866 181 (To the Right Hon. Spencer Walpole). "ASK ME NO MORE." To an Importunate Host 170 THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE— Charge of the Light (Irish) Brigade 31 "The Two Hundred" Mechanical Engineers in Dublin, 1865 37 The Half Hundred (of Coals) 37 The Doctor's Heavy Brigade 38 The Charge of the Black Brigade, 1865 38 At the Magdalen Ground 39 Charge of the Fair Brigade 39 The Charge of the "Bustle" 40 On the Six Hundredth Representation of "Our Boys" at the Vaudeville Theatre 40 The Vote of Six Millions 41 The Charge of the "Rad" Brigade 41 A Lay of the Law Courts 41 The Latest Charge (against Mr. Biggar, M. P., for Breach of Promise of Marriage) 41 The Charge of the Gownsmen at the Anti-Tobacco Lecture 52 The Charge of the Light Ballet 53 Tragic Episode in an Omnibus 53 Michael Drayton on the Battle of Agincourt 171 The "Light" Cavalier's Charge 171 The Charge of the Court Brigade, 1874 171 The Battle of Bartlemy's, 1875 172 Charge of the Light Brigade at the Alexandra Palace Banquet, 1875 72 On the Rink, 1876 173 "Half a Duck! Half a Duck!" 173 "Half a League!" (Tea Advertisement) 185 A WELCOME TO ALEXANDRA— Britannia's Welcome to the Illustrious Stranger, Ismail Pasha, 1869 35 On a Statue to the late John Brown 35 A Welcome to Alexandra (Palace) 61 On the Opening of the Alexandra Palace, May, 1875 173 THE GRANDMOTHER— Hard Times 58 Parody in "Snatches of Song" 59 "And Willy with Franchise Horn," 1884 168 IN THE GARDEN AT SWAINSTON— In the Schools at Oxford 32 THE VICTIM— The Victim 46 The Prophet Enoch, 1860 47 THE HIGHER PANTHEISM— The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell 51 THE VOICE AND THE PEAK— The Voice and the Pique, 1874 178 "FLOWER IN THE CRANNIED WALL"— "Terrier in my Granny's Hall" 174 IN MEMORIAM— Richmond, 1856 25 In Immemoriam 29 In Memoriam, £. s. d., Baden-Baden 48 Punch to Salisbury 48 The Rinker's Solace 48 The Lawyer's Soliloquy 61 "I Hold this Truth with one who sings" 61 Ozokerit 174 In Memoriam Technicam, 1865 174 In Memoriam; a Collie Dog, 1884 186 "RING OUT WILD BELLS TO THE WILD SKY." "Wring out the Clouds," 1872 174 "Ring out, Glad Bells," 1876 175 "Ring out Fool's Bells," 1881 175 "COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD." "Nay, I cannot come into the garden just now" 7 Maud in the Garden 25 Anti-Maud 25 The Poet's Birth, a Mystery, 1859 175 "Chirrup, chirp, chirp, chirp twitter" 176 Midsummer Madness.—"I am a Hearthrug" 176 "Birds in St. Stephen's Garden" 176 Song by Burne-Jones, "Come into my Studio, Maud," 1878 179 Come into "The Garden," Maud (Covent Garden) 1882 180
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