PARENTING TRANSGENDER, GENDER-CREATIVE AND GAY CHILDREN Jessica Ann Vooris, D

232 Pages·2016·1.73 MB·English

by  Matthew Hill

ABSTRACT

Title of Dissertation: LIFE UNCHARTED: PARENTING
TRANSGENDER, GENDER-CREATIVE AND
GAY CHILDREN

Jessica Ann Vooris, Doctor of Philosophy, 2016

Dissertation directed by: Professor Katie King, Department of Women’s
Studies

Gender non-conformity is often seen as an indication of a future queer sexuality, but
children are thought to be too young to actually be gay or trans. Life Uncharted:
Parenting Transgender, Gender-creative, and Gay Children seeks to answer
questions about what it means to be a "transgender," "gender-creative" or "gay" child,
and examines the experiences of families who parent against the norm, raising
children who break assumptions about the body, gender, identity and desire. Drawing
from media analysis, ethnography of parent blogs and family gender conferences,
along with interviews with 28 families, I argue that these parents engage in
"anticipation work" as they manage anxiety and uncertainty about their children's
behavior, attempt to predict and manage their children's futures, and explain their
decisions to others. While television documentaries offer simple narratives that often
reify binary expectations of gender, and explain that transgender children are "trapped
in the wrong body," my ethnographic research and interviews shows that defining a
transgender or gender-creative or gay child is more complex and it is not always clear
how to separate gender expression, identity, and sexuality. As children socially
transition at younger ages, when memory is just beginning to form, their relationships
to the body and the notion of being "transgender" is in flux. Parents emphasize being
comfortable with ambiguity, listening to children and LGBTQ adults, and accepting
that it’s not always possible to know what the future brings. These children’s lives are
unfolding and in process, changing our notions of childhood, queerness and transness.
LIFE UNCHARTED: PARENTING TRANSGENDER, GENDER-CREATIVE
AND GAY CHIDLREN

by

Jessica Ann Vooris

Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the
University of Maryland, College Park, in partial fulfillment
of the requirements for the degree of
Doctor of Philosophy
2016

Advisory Committee:
Dr. Katie King, Chair
Dr. Christina Hanhardt
Dr. Marilee Lindemann
Dr. Catherine Schuler
Dr. Martha Nell Smith
© Copyright by
Jessica Ann Vooris
2016
Dedication
For Fran,
I miss you every day.
Thank-you for always believing in me.
Love, your kiddo.
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Acknowledgements
They say it takes a village to raise a child, and it certainly takes a village to write a
dissertation. I am grateful for the constellations of people, relationships, and
communities that have sustained me, and this work over the past six years.
My intellectual and activist roots in feminism and lgbt social justice work
began at Bucknell, with the guidance and love of the late Fran McDaniel, the inspired
pedagogy of Coralynn Davis and Ghislaine McDayter, and countless conversations
with Erica Delsandro during her office hours. I am honored to call these individuals
friends and to have continued our connections over the years. Fran, I wish you were
here to see me graduate. Ghislaine, John Hunter, and their kids Sasha and Claire will
always be second family. I especially appreciate the insight that Claire has given me
in regards to children’s understanding of sexuality and queerness as I have watched
her grow from a stubborn 4 year old to an independent 13 year old. My dear fellow
Bucknellians: Alyssa Schneebaum, Mikaela Mathern, Megan McShea, Chrissy
Friedlander, and Morgane Treanton, thank-you for ten years of friendship, activism,
laughter and love. The Bucknell LGBTQA Alumni Association has also been a great
support over the years. Thank-you especially: Jen Carter, Ann Malcolm and Paul
Marin.
Six years ago, I came to UMD and became part of another intellectual
community. I have loved teaching Intro to WMST courses, LGBT studies, and
appreciate the ways that my students have helped me grow as a scholar and teacher. I
also appreciate greatly the friendship, comradery and support of my fellow graduate
students. I especially want to thank Katie White for helping me learn how to navigate
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grief and graduate school; Melissa Rogers and Cristina Perez for being my cohort
members and walking beside me through the program; Avery Dame for all the
conversations about trans studies; Eve Grice for yoga, walks through the woods,
conversations about pedagogy and feminist practice; Michelé Prince for deep
friendship, comradery at conferences, and being a part of my queer family; Jeannette
Soon-Ludes for being a mentor, and beloved friend. Also, Sara Haq, Jaime Madden,
Jocelyn Coates, Cara Snyder, Clara Montague, Anna Storti, and Tangere Hoagland
for many shared moments in the TA room, department lounge, over grad lunches, and
meetings of 628.
The department wouldn’t run smoothly without the dedication and hard-work
of Cliffornia Howard-Pryor, Catalina Toala, and JV Sapinoso. Thank-you also to
Annie Carter and Laura Nichols—I hope retirement is treating you well. And a big
thank-you for the guidance and mentorship I received from Dr. Rowley in her tenure
as DGS.
Getting my PhD is part of the “Bucket List” I wrote in my Women’s Circle.
This group has provided much support in achieving my academic goals as well as
navigating life’s difficulties. Thank-you, Anne O'Connor for your leadership, Ari
BenAissa for shared dog-walks, Valerie Brown for writing space, Jo Hurt for your
warm hugs, Debra Cook for cups of tea, housing and more, and last but not least,
Carson Lee for helping with food in the final weeks of writing.
One of the ways I have supported myself through graduate school is by
babysitting and being a camp counselor. Many families have welcomed me into their
lives, trusted me with their little ones, and have given me the opportunity to witness
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their babies grow and learn about the world. Watching these children has sustained
my work, and reminded me of the importance of nurturing the lives of young people.
Jack, Josie, Max, Penny, Maya, Sophia, Dylan, Maria, Elia, Henry, Annie, David,
Elanna, Audrey, Lily, Zephre, Milo, Benji, and the kids of Impulse City Summer
Camp and Camp Aranu’tiq, thank-you for your hugs, laughter, mischievousness,
defiance, joy, tenaciousness, creativity and love.
A writer would be lost without readers and editors. Thank-you Dr. Kim, Dr.
Alexis Lothian, Alyssa Schneebaum, Ann and Norman Long, Cassy Griff-Dame,
Avery Dame-Griff, Melissa Rogers, Jarah Moesch, and Chrissy Friedlander for your
sharp eyes, and your valuable time in editing various drafts of this dissertation.
Thank-you also to my family of birth and choice. Thank-you especially
Alison, Chris, Alicia, Emily and Patrick Vooris. Kelly Laughlin. John Hunter,
Ghislaine McDayter and Sasha and Claire. Emily Rizzo, Michelé Prince, Eve Grice.
Alyssa Schneebaum. I would not be who I am today without your love, support, and
guidance. I want to especially thank my grandparents, Norman and Ann Long, who
have inspired many of my intellectual pursuits as well as my love of writing,
ethnography, and languages.
Finally, a big thank-you to my committee, members past and present, who
have helped guide this dissertation for the last six years: Thank-you, Dr. Kim for
always pushing me in regards to my methodology. Thank-you, Dr. Hanhardt for your
classes on queer theory and “dominance and deviance in the city,” as well as helping
me think about how I am framing my argument in relation to my own biases. Thank-
you, Dr. Lindemann for your guidance through various benchmarks, and for your
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comments on the difference between representation of children and actual children’s
lives. Dr. Martha Nell Smith, I will never forget your queer autobiography course,
and appreciate all our conversations about parenting blogs and identity. Thank-you
for being my Dean’s Rep! Dr. Alexis Lothian, thank-you for supporting my work, and
for your comments on Chapter Two. I am disappointed that you were not able to be
present for the defense, but I know that we were each where we needed to be on that
day. I greatly appreciate Dr. Schuler stepping in at the last moment to fill a space on
the committee, for your thoughts with regard to online ethnography and terminology,
and your sharp editing eyes.
Finally, a huge thank-you to my committee chair, Dr. Katie King. I can’t even
count the many hours we have spent together—in your WMST 601 class, under your
guidance for 618, during your social hours, in meetings about benchmarks, fellowship
applications and job applications, as well as the countless hours discussing my
dissertation and editing my writing. Thank-you for your generosity and for always
pushing me intellectually. You have made me a better feminist, academic, colleague,
writer and teacher.
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Table of Contents

Dedication ..................................................................................................................... ii
Acknowledgements ...................................................................................................... iii
Table of Contents ........................................................................................................ vii

Chapter 1: The Queer Child, Theories and Methodology............................................. 1
Introduction ............................................................................................................... 1
Anticipation Work .................................................................................................... 4
Chapter Overview ..................................................................................................... 6
Literature Review.................................................................................................... 10
The Queer Child: Shifting Fields Come Together .............................................. 10
Trans Studies: Gender, Sexuality and Bodies ..................................................... 19
Queer Theory’s Futures and Possibilities ........................................................... 22
Conclusion .............................................................................................................. 26

Chapter 2: Trapped in the Wrong Body: Transgender Children in the Media ........... 28
Introduction ............................................................................................................. 28
Background ............................................................................................................. 30
Anticipation Work .................................................................................................. 34
This is Who I Am: The Authenticity of Youth and the Reification of Gender .. 34
Trapped In The Wrong Body .............................................................................. 43
Narratives of the Extreme and Disability ............................................................ 48
Whiteness, Respectability and the Category of Expert ....................................... 53
Conclusion .............................................................................................................. 63

Chapter 3: Uncharted Waters: Parents Connecting Through Blogs ........................... 65
Introduction ............................................................................................................. 65
Background ............................................................................................................. 68
The Blogs ............................................................................................................ 68
Online Ethnography ............................................................................................ 74
Blogs as Autobiography ...................................................................................... 77
Anticipation Work .................................................................................................. 83
Haunting .............................................................................................................. 83
Anticipation and Questions of Identity ............................................................... 88
What Do These Terms Mean Anyway? .............................................................. 92
LGBTQ Community ........................................................................................... 99
Conclusion ............................................................................................................ 103

Chapter 4: Complex Realities: The Stories Families Tell ........................................ 107
Introduction ........................................................................................................... 107
Background ........................................................................................................... 111
Methodology ..................................................................................................... 111
Ethnography ...................................................................................................... 113
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