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Over the Edge A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine Kay Rowe Copyright © 2017 by Embrace Life Enterprises, LLC Cover art: © 2017 by Embrace Life Enterprises, LLC All Rights Reserved. ISBN-13: 978-1977547170 ISBN-10: 1977547176 No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. Quotes from the printed works of L. Ron Hubbard are used herein for the purpose of criticism and comment. We believe this constitutes a ‘fair use’ of the copyrighted materials as provided for in section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Law. Formal Apology and Dedication B efore I get rolling on the rather long list of people I’m dedicating this book to, I wish to make a formal apology. It is addressed to those whose lives have been adversely affected by my actions and inactions, throughout my life. While I have long since patched up many relationships affected by my years of involvement in Scientology, I have not covered all bases. If you don’t understand my reasoning here, I am confident you will once you dive into the chapters that follow. No need to belabor; I’ll make this short and sweet…. I sincerely apologize to anyone, anywhere, at any time, whose life I’ve adversely affected. Sure, I could come up with all kinds of excuses, like “I was young and naive,” “I didn’t know any better,” “I thought I was doing the right thing and that is was all for the ‘greater good,’” “I was brainwashed,” etc. However, whatever the reasons, I am sorry for any actions or omissions that I had a hand in, that may have harmed you or those near and dear to you. Whew. It felt good to get that off my chest! Now it’s appropriate to embark on dedication. Over the Edge: A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine, is dedicated to so many, it’s a challenge to list them all. First, I am grateful to everyone in my rather large family; cousins, aunts and uncles included. It wasn’t until after I retired from Scientology staff that I came to realize that their love for me was always and forever unconditional. They were there for me despite the physical distance between us during my adult life; all I had to do was reach out to them. In all fairness, I must also give a special thanks to my sister-in- law, who kept at me with “You really need to write a book.” Although I’ve only gotten to know her in recent years, she has been a driving force for me in many ways. My brother is so fortunate to have her by his side. Next, the teachers, particularly from grade school, who believed in me, even told my parents they could envision me making a difference in the world – despite the fact that I consistently scored a “3” in self-control. I owe them much for their encouragement. Then there are literally hundreds of amazing people I came to know through my involvement in the Church of Scientology, the movement I dedicated thirty-seven years of my life to — seventeen of those as a fundraiser — before finally resigning in September of 2012. There is one particular person I worked with in my later Scientology years who was absolutely extraordinary. His name was Alex Jentzsch. In the most stressful of situations he’d make me and others laugh, even the serious executives. He was one of those “what’s not to like” people, and I will never forget him. His untimely death and the church’s heartless shunning of his mother left me grief-stricken for weeks, and were integral to the decision-making process which culminated in my public resignation from the Church of Scientology. Last, but not least, I am so very thankful for the dear friends I have made since I started my life over; friends who never had any affiliation with Scientology, and who have accepted me as I am. Important Note to Readers – Scientologists in Particular M y story is an autobiography in three parts, all in one volume. My experiences with Scientology are covered in Part 2. That is the largest portion of the book, simply because most of my life — thirty- seven years out of sixty-one — was spent in Scientology. You will find that I have made a point of covering what I witnessed myself, as opposed to hearsay. Also, defamation not being my purpose, I only mention a few people by name. Many of you reading this probably know me, or have at least heard of me; it is all too likely our paths have crossed. You may have wondered, “What ever happened to Kay Rowe?” It’s possible you asked someone in the church, and were simply told I was not in good standing. The fact is, I had a decent reputation during my church years, and was known for being a kind and compassionate individual. That being said, you deserve to know the truth. I gave my entire adult life, from age nineteen to age fifty-six, to supporting a movement I truly believed would change the world for the better: bring about world peace, revert the moral decline in our society, rid the world of poverty, crime, drugs and illiteracy; in short, create a Brotherhood of Man. What’s not to like about that concept? Seeing so much promise in the words of L. Ron Hubbard, I took every positive thing I heard and read on faith, without any due diligence. Finally, when the red flags went over the top, I gained the courage to perform an unbiased research. Then, faced with so many contradictions and discrepancies, I was beyond devastated. My decision to officially resign from the Church of Scientology was by far the most difficult I have ever made; it did not come easy and I paid a heavy price. Nonetheless, no matter your views on Scientology, I grant you the right to your viewpoint. Further, I welcome you — in fact, I encourage you — to do your own independent research. Don’t take my word for it, or anyone else’s. Even Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, in one of his most renowned articles, On Personal Integrity, states that you have that right. He said that what is true for you is true for you. The church even ran a massive ad campaign some years ago, with billboards stating, “Think for Yourself.” So, there should be no admonishment for doing exactly that. I made this same point in this book’s preamble, but I intentionally repeat it here, particularly for Scientologists who may be concerned about repercussions. To those of you who cut communication with me due to my stance, especially Steve and Janna, know that I never begrudged your choice, nor did I stop caring about you. On the contrary, I would gladly wipe the slate clean between us, accept you back into my life, and be there for you whenever you need me — as friends do for true friends. I wish you an unencumbered journey on the road to truth. Preamble: The Story Behind My Story O ver the Edge: A Pawn in the Scientology Money Game, is my life story; an autobiography. It’s about the underlying reasons for the choices I’ve made, the consequences of those decisions, and how I’ve moved on and created a new life for myself. In the pages that follow I expect you will understand the significance of the title. Since the time I commenced composing this story (just under two years ago) I’ve wavered. Would it be worth my efforts? What do I want to accomplish with it? How is my story any different than others on similar subjects? Would publishing it make a positive difference in people’s lives? Initially, the book’s focus was the time when I was deeply involved with the Church of Scientology. To be fair, I did benefit in some ways from my involvement, which I cover in more detail in the book. It goes without saying that if that had not been the case, it’s doubtful that I would have dedicated thirty-seven years of my life to it. However, in the long run, the church became detrimental to my relationships beyond its domain. For example, while I was heavily involved, I didn’t see most of my family for at least thirty years and had little or no contact with friends outside the church. Added to that, my long association finally took its toll on me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I went well out of my way — to extremes, actually — to mend my relationship with the church. Unfortunately, those efforts were to no avail. Finally, it was clear that to remain a member and support it was no longer an option. I made a fully evaluated, personal choice to cut the ties. Taking all the above into account, I outlined my story, created several pages of notes so I wouldn’t forget important content, and got rolling. I broke through several bouts of writer’s block and finally, several months ago, managed to pass the two-thirds point. At last I could envision the finish line! However, the excitement of this breakthrough was short-lived; I became preoccupied with a new dilemma: I’d become emotionally consumed by the U.S. presidential election process. The writing I’d completed prior to that point seemed to pale by comparison to what seemed a much more important issue: healing the divide between the people in our great nation and the world at large. I did a complete review of what I had already written and found my story paralleled current events. Not only that, having read others’ books and blogs, and viewed documentaries on the controversial subject of Scientology, I could see that my writings had a unique perspective and message. No way did I want to be redundant. All it required to make sure I would not be redundant was some additional fact gathering and minor editing. What a relief! All the work I had put in up to that point had not been a waste. As for the subject of Scientology, I welcome you — in fact, I encourage you — to do your own independent research. Don’t take my word for it, or anyone else’s. This has been quite a journey, and cathartic to say the least. I hope you gain as much from reading as I have had in composing. Introduction to Part 1 Inspiration to Share My Story and My Pre- Scientology Years W ith all due respect to my mother, who passed the very day I finished the first draft of Part 1 of this book, it was only fitting that I commenced writing my story during her final days. This book is a tribute to her; she was by no means perfect (none of us are), but she taught me basic manners, and was there for me throughout my life, even when I was away from her. My siblings and I knew our mother’s death was imminent, since she had been under hospice care for some time. It was uncanny, though, how one event led to another and yet another, culminating in the inspiration I needed to finally sit down and write my story. I expect you will understand the significance of this, once you’ve read Chapter 1. A disclaimer: In reading this autobiography, you will find I’ve included some not-so-kind things about my mother. I want to make it clear that she and I achieved full closure before she passed, and that all was forgiven on both sides. I merely share the information to help bring about an understanding of the events and circumstances that made me a prime candidate for membership in the Church of Scientology. For the record, I officially became involved with Scientology in the fall of 1975, a few months before my twentieth birthday. Chapters 2-7 cover pertinent information about the years prior to my involvement, from as far back as I can recall; my pre-Scientology years, 1958-1975.