Out of Joint: A Private and Public Story of Arthritis (American Lives)

238 Pages·2005·1.49 MB·English

by  Mary Felstiner

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1 American Lives
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3 Series editor: Tobias Wolff
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1
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4 Out of Joint
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6 A Private & Public
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Story of Arthritis
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10 Mary Felstiner
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35 university of nebraska press
36 lincoln • london
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1 “Casing My Joints: A Public and Private
Story of Arthritis,” reprinted from
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Feminist Studies 26, no. 2
3 (Summer 2000): 273–85.
Used with permission of the publisher,
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Feminist Studies, Inc.
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The lines from
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“Contradictions: Tracking Poems,”
8 copyright 2002, 1986, by Adrienne Rich,
from The Fact of a Doorframe:
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Selected Poems 1950–2001
10 by Adrienne Rich. Used by permission
of the author and
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W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
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[-4], (4)
13 ©2005 by Mary Felstiner
All rights reserved
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Manufactured in the
15 United States of America
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䡬⬁
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18 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data * 287.0pt
Felstiner, Mary Lowenthal, 1941– ———
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Out of joint : a private and public story
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20 of arthritis / Mary Felstiner.
p. cm.—(American lives) * PgEnds:
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Includes bibliographical references.
22 isbn-13: 978-0-8032-2030-0 (cloth : alk. paper)
isbn-10: 0-8032-2030-8 (cloth : alk. paper)
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1. Felstiner, Mary Lowenthal, 1941—Health.
24 2. Rheumatoid arthritis—Patients—Biography.
I. Title. II. Series.
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rc933.f45 2005
26 362.196'7227'0092—dc22
27 2005008093
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30 Set in Quadraat and Quadraat Sans by Kim Essman.
Designed by R. W. Boeche.
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Printed by Maple-Vail.
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Disclaimer: Some text in the printed version of this
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book is not available for inclusion in the eBook.
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4 for John and for Ruth
5 from the heart
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4 I am poured out like water,
5 and all my bones are out of joint.
6 Psalm 22:15
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9 The time is out of joint.
10 Hamlet 1.5.206
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4 Contents
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6 Acknowledgments ix
7 Preview xi
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9 Part I. Getting Hurt
10 Shock, 1969 3
11 Tops, 1959–69 12
12 Fatigue, 1971–74 20
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13 Promises, 1975–76 27
14 Alternatives, 1979 33
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16 Part II. Getting Wise
17 Inflammation, 1980–84 41 ———
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18 Immunity, 1985 47
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19 Shame, 1986 52
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21 Distrust, 1987–88 61
22 Morbidity, 1988 66
23 Mortality, 1989 71 [-7], (7)
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25 Part III. Getting Back
26 Access, 1993 81
27 Despair, 1993 85
28 Moves, 1994–95 89
29 Truths, 1996 100
30 Pieces, 1996–97 106
31 Wonder, 1941–49 110
32 Falsehood, 1950–59 120
33 Pain, 1960–68 128
34 Stress, 1997 132
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1 Part IV. Getting Help
2 Family, 1997 139
3 Partners, 1998 145
4 Time, 1998 149
5 Revolution, 1999 159
6 Rights, 1999 169
7 Hands, 1999 174
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9 Part V. Getting Past
10 Healing 183
11 Retrospect 202
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13 Notes 205
14 Resources 217
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16 Illustrations
17 1. A normal joint and a joint ———
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18 affected by rheumatoid arthritis
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21 3. John and Sarah in Sonoma, 1971
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23 4. Mary and Ruth, 1996 105 [-8], (8)
24 5. Kite-flying, 1997 140
25 6. Leonor Fini, L’Ange d’Anatomie,
26 1949 176
27 7. Charcoal drawing of Renoir by
28 Albert André, 1914 178
29 8. Mary and Sarah at Mount
30 Rainer, Washington, 2004
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32 9. Henry Moore drawing of
33 Dorothy Hodgkin’s hands, 1978
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4 Acknowledgments
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9 If this were a standard autobiography, it would fill up with family and
10 spill over with friends. But following a life through arthritis shows
11 only a portion of it and doesn’t do justice to those most essential to
12 me, especially my in-laws, Susan and Didier Thomas, Celia Lowenthal,
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Scobie Puchtler, and my comadre, Cathy Short; my nieces and nephew,
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Lia Lowenthal, Katherine Denham, and Daniel Thomas; our aunt Ruth
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Bendor and the Bendor family; and my friends of the heart, Emily Lines: 467
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Abel, Guiguite and Joe Frank, Estelle Freedman, Margo Horn, Marion
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Hunt, Penny Janeway, Toni Kestenbaum, Si Lazarus, Toni Lester, Mary
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Newmann, Ruth Rosen, Mary Rothschild, Adele Simmons, Nina Jo ———
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Smith, Myra Strober, Joan Weimer, Marilyn and Irv Yalom. For their Normal Page
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encouragement and affection I feel the deepest gratitude. PgEnds: T
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Full credit goes to the Nits, a writers’ group that started me off and
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kept me at it: Whitney Chadwick, Carol Field, Diana Ketcham, Diana
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O’Hehir, Cyra McFadden, Jean McMann, Carol Monpere, BK Moran,
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Annegret Ogden, and Alison Owings. Among those, Alison, Carol,
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Carol, Diana O., and Whitney committed brave acts of editing. To my
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other primary readers, the ones digging deeply into the manuscript,
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giving generous and thought-provoking help—Emily Abel, Elizabeth
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Benedict, Alek Felstiner, Sarah Felstiner, Adam Hochschild, Penny
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Janeway, Gerda Lerner, Olga Seham, Melanie Thernstrom—I offer all
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31 my appreciation, and it will never be half enough. Ruth Rosen, Joan
32 Weimer, and John Felstiner deserve lifelong thanks for their splendid
33 editing and loving-kindness, as well as major tax deductions for the
34 many days they took from their own work to see this project through.
35 Every body and spirit ought to have the outstanding physicians
36 I’ve relied on, Melvin Britton and Nan Link; the generous assistance
37 of Shana Bernstein, Alison Field, and Camille George; and the fine