Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go

288 Pages·2002·20.82 MB·English

by  Susan Forward

WhenL ovingT ooM uch Hurts TooM uch
ttl
. startedh urting on the bottom of my stomach.T he
pain wasu nbelievableI.t wasl ike, oh, God, why
doesn'th ejust call?I didn't go to work. I'djust sit and
drink wine cooler afterw ine cooler . . . all the time
thinking about him.')
. "Iwaited patienth fo, two yearsf or her to leaveh er
husband,b ut nothing changedI. kept telling myself,
well,i f I'mjust patient. . .I felt like I waso n a torture
rack."
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. wasv ery melodramaticl,i ke somethingo ut of a bad
movie.I knew I wasn't about to actuallyb urn his
housed own, but I couldn't stop thinkirg abouti t."
t'I'm
. afraido f the total emptinessI used to feel.I 'm
afraidi t'll comeb ack.Justt otal emptiness."
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. kept callingi nto the night, but shew ouldn't answer
the phone.S o Ijust kept goinga t it on and otr,o ver
and over.L ike a robot."
These people regained their emotional wholenessa nd
freedom. You can, too. This compassionatea nd practical
book will show,you the way.
Y?SO g ISlfSYN JOUMVUA
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OBSESSIVE
LOVE
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Acknowledgmenfs
I'd like to thanks everapl eoplew ho helpedm aket his book become
a reality.
First and foremost,m y treasuredc ollaboratora nd friend, Craig
Buck. This is our third book togethera nd his insights,t alent,s kill,
patience,a nd never-failingg ood humor continuet o amazem e.
This is alsot he third book I've done with my editor, Toni Bur-
bank. I wish I could tell you how brilliant, knowledgeablec, aring,
dedicated,a nd extraordinarilyc ompetents he is, but she'sf ar too
modestt o allowm e to be so laudatory.
I'd alsol ike to thank Linda Grey,S tuartA pplebaum,a nd all the
other wonderfulp eople at BantamB ooksw ho alwaysg o the extra
mile for me. And my agents,L ynn Nesbit and Ken Sherman,f or
their continueds upport and encouragement.
My colleaguea nd dearf riend Nina Miller, M.F.C.C.,a nd Marty
FarashM, .F.C.C.,h aveb eenm ore thang enerousin allowingm e to
pick their brainst o enrich the conceptuafl oundationo f this book.
As always, mI family and friends-especially my daughter,
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Contents
Introduction I
PART ONE.
OBSESSIVEL OVERS 15
1. The One MagicP erson T7
2. Openingt he Floodgates 38
3. From Pursuit to Revenge 62
4. The SaviorC omplex 77
PATTTT WO.
TARGETSO F OBSESSIVEL OVERS r07
5. The Co-obsessivTeh rget 109
6. Breakirg Up Is Hard to Do r26
7. When ObsessionT urns to
Violence r49
r,ttt I OsSlSSlAS 1OA1
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JUlllND AOnUS]I JJUON OTgSISSTON r96
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lntroduction
q omethirg wasn't right when Gloria arrived at work. All eyes
tJwere on her as she walked through the newsroomt oward her
oflice.M any of her co-workersw eres miling like guestsa t a surprise
parfy knowing the birthday girl has arrived at the door. Her adren-
alineb egant o pump. Wass heg ettinga promotion?D id her brother
and sister-in-lawh ave their babyPD id her vacationr equestc ome
through?
As Gloria swung open the door to her office she was over-
whelmedb y the smell of roses.C overing the entire surfaceo f her
desk was a breathtakinga rrangemenot f at least six do zen of the
mostb eautifulr ed rosess heh ad evers een.W hat wast he occasionP
Shec heckedt he calendaro n her watch. May 2. The date meant
nothing.
Then it dawnedo n her.T hey were fromJi*.
The feara nd angerh it her like a train.Why couldn'tJimu nder-
standt hat she didn't want to seeh im anymore?W hy wouldn't he
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