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Nothing Personal - Nirmala PDF

249 Pages·2016·1.23 MB·English
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N O T H I N G P E R S O N A L Seeing Beyond the Illusion of a Separate Self N I R M A L A This book was created from talks and dialogues held from 1999 to 2004 in Montreal, Tucson, Phoenix, Sedona, Santa Cruz, Palo Alto, Boulder, Seattle, and Dallas. Gratitude is extended to everyone who participated. The poems in this book are from a collection of nondual poetry entitled Gifts with No Giver: A Love Affair with Truth by Nirmala, also available from Endless Satsang Foundation. Endless Satsang Foundation www.endless-satsang.com Copyright © 2001 by Daniel Erway (Nirmala) First Edition 2001 Second Edition 2007 Cover photo: © Andreykuzmin/dreamstime.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S To my wife, Gina, for her limitless love and support. This book would not have happened without her help and the countless hours she spent transcribing, editing, and re-editing these talks until they took on the form of a book. This volume is equally an expression of her wisdom, talent, and gifts. To my teacher and friend, Adyashanti, for his guidance and perspective, which have opened ever-new vistas in this vastness of being. And to my teacher and friend, Neelam, who first opened my heart to the spacious love we all share. Finally, with gratitude for the blessings of truth brought to this world by Ramana Maharshi and H.W. L. Poonja (Papaji). C O N T E N T S Foreword. ............................................................................................ xi Introduction ...................................................................................... xiv P A R T 1 Moving from the Mind into the Heart Finding What Doesn’t Come and Go ............................................... 3 The Truth About Thought ................................................................. 9 Mind Games ...................................................................................... 11 Nothing Personal .............................................................................. 16 Knowing and Not Knowing............................................................. 17 Oneness and Many-ness ................................................................... 24 Let the Heart Be Your Guide ........................................................... 27 P A R T 2 Getting to the Truth The Qualities of Truth ...................................................................... 32 Desire ................................................................................................. 34 Spiritual Longing ............................................................................... 37 Uncovering the Lie of Identity ......................................................... 38 Identity Formation ............................................................................ 40 Beyond the Self-Image ...................................................................... 42 From Lies to Truth ........................................................................... 44 Surrender and Expanded Will .......................................................... 46 P A R T 3 Being Transparency ..................................................................................... 49 Nothing Special ................................................................................. 54 Oneness Is Already Here .................................................................. 55 Nothingness ....................................................................................... 66 P A R T 4 The Mystery of Awareness Paying Attention ................................................................................ 70 Telling the Truth ............................................................................... 75 Being Present in the Present............................................................. 78 Just Say Yes ........................................................................................ 80 Love and Fear .................................................................................... 84 The Death of Every Moment ........................................................... 86 The Qualities of the Mystery ............................................................ 88 Emptiness .......................................................................................... 91 P A R T 5 The End of Suffering Desiring What Is ............................................................................... 97 The Nature of Desire ...................................................................... 100 The Ego ........................................................................................... 103 Beyond the How and Why of Grasping ........................................ 105 What’s in It for Me? ........................................................................ 112 The Movement of Awareness ........................................................ 115 Conscious Self-Consciousness ....................................................... 117 P A R T 6 Approaching the Mystery Living Without a Formula .............................................................. 122 Curiosity and Resting ...................................................................... 124 Honesty ............................................................................................ 128 The Dance Between the Ordinary and the Extraordinary ........... 129 Doing and Non-doing .................................................................... 131 Embracing Feelings ......................................................................... 135 Inquiry and Devotion ..................................................................... 138 Stepping into the Unknown ........................................................... 140 Devotion to a Guru......................................................................... 141 P A R T 7 Two Simple Instructions The Treasure .................................................................................... 146 The Practice ..................................................................................... 146 Noticing ........................................................................................... 148 Allowing ........................................................................................... 153 Showing Up ..................................................................................... 158 P A R T 8 Awakening Awakening and Freedom ................................................................ 166 Going Deeper into the Truth ......................................................... 167 Life After Awakening ...................................................................... 169 The Point of No Return to Suffering ............................................ 171 Living the Truth .............................................................................. 172 Freedom for Whom? ...................................................................... 174 Liberation Through Facing Death ................................................. 178 Falling in Love ................................................................................. 179 Commitment to Truth .................................................................... 182 P A R T 9 Living Life as a Question Living Life as a Question ................................................................ 187 Self-Inquiry ...................................................................................... 189 The Sense of Me .............................................................................. 191 Am I? ................................................................................................ 192 Shifting Your Reference Point ....................................................... 195 Self-Image vs. Reality ...................................................................... 196 Death ................................................................................................ 198 Shrinking Your Awareness Through Judgment ............................ 201 The Life You Are Given ................................................................. 208 Where Is Your Attention? .............................................................. 210 Rejection and Desire ....................................................................... 211 Self-Consciousness .......................................................................... 212 Noticing and Allowing .................................................................... 213 The Myth of Better ......................................................................... 216 Am I Willing? ................................................................................... 219 Be Here Now ................................................................................... 224 Hopelessness.................................................................................... 227 Telling the Whole Truth ................................................................. 230 Love Is Always Here ....................................................................... 232 Everything Is Perfect ...................................................................... 233 About the Author ............................................................................ 255 F O R E W O R D After years of Zen practice my teacher asked me to begin teaching, and she gave me these words of advice: Always tell the truth and speak from your own experience. In the years since, I have found this advice to be crucial to both teachers and students alike. By inquiring into truth, we are led ever deeper into the unknown—beyond beliefs and ideas to the very core of who and what we are. This inquiry takes the highest degree of integrity and fearlessness we can muster; it challenges us by taking us out of our heads and into the heart of our deepest experience of being, which is beyond limitations of body, mind, and conditioning. Telling the truth is the secret of all true spirituality, and in order to tell the truth, you must find out what truth is. It is my experience of Nirmala that he embodies my teacher’s advice both as an individual and as a teacher. In the West, we are in need of a practical mysticism that reveals not only the deepest core of being but also addresses how to act and relate from that core in this event called “life.” In order to accomplish this, we do not need another set of how-to instructions, which are so popular within our modern consumer culture of quick fixes. What we need is an ever-deepening inquiry into how spirit dances as this very life, for what we call “life” is but an expression of spirit and therefore fully spirit itself. As I often say to my own students, “First you awaken out of life, then you awaken as life itself.” The beauty of this collection of Nirmala’s talks and dialogues is that it covers much of the spectrum of spiritual awakening, from the initial experience of one’s true nature to the practical challenges, which always call for a deeper seeing and deeper understanding of how spirit manifests as all of life and beyond. Within these talks and dialogues you, the reader, will find Nirmala to be a living invitation to look within. What is appealing about Nirmala is his humility and lack of pretense, which welcomes whatever arises within the field of experience. In the midst of this welcoming is always an invitation to inquire deeply within, to the core of who and what you are. Again and again, Nirmala points the questions back to the questioner and beyond to the very source of existence itself—to the faceless awareness that holds both the question and the questioner in a timeless embrace. I invite you into these talks and dialogues—not as a spectator but as an intimate participant. Look within and see exactly who and what is doing the looking. In a timeless instant, now, become aware of yourself as awareness itself. Adyashanti March, 2001 xii

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