Nothing Personal - Nirmala

249 Pages·2016·1.23 MB·English

N O T H I N G
P E R S O N A L
Seeing Beyond the Illusion
of a Separate Self

N I R M A L A
This book was created from talks and dialogues held from 1999 to
2004 in Montreal, Tucson, Phoenix, Sedona, Santa Cruz, Palo Alto,
Boulder, Seattle, and Dallas. Gratitude is extended to everyone who
participated.

The poems in this book are from a collection of nondual poetry
entitled Gifts with No Giver: A Love Affair with Truth by Nirmala, also
available from Endless Satsang Foundation.

Endless Satsang Foundation

www.endless-satsang.com

Copyright © 2001 by Daniel Erway (Nirmala)

First Edition 2001
Second Edition 2007

Cover photo: © Andreykuzmin/dreamstime.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced
by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage
retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except
in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
A C K N O W L E D G M E N T S

To my wife, Gina, for her limitless love and support. This book would
not have happened without her help and the countless hours she spent
transcribing, editing, and re-editing these talks until they took on the
form of a book. This volume is equally an expression of her wisdom,
talent, and gifts.
To my teacher and friend, Adyashanti, for his guidance and
perspective, which have opened ever-new vistas in this vastness of
being.
And to my teacher and friend, Neelam, who first opened my heart
to the spacious love we all share.
Finally, with gratitude for the blessings of truth brought to this
world by Ramana Maharshi and H.W. L. Poonja (Papaji).
C O N T E N T S

Foreword. ............................................................................................ xi
Introduction ...................................................................................... xiv

P A R T 1
Moving from the Mind
into the Heart

Finding What Doesn’t Come and Go ............................................... 3
The Truth About Thought ................................................................. 9
Mind Games ...................................................................................... 11
Nothing Personal .............................................................................. 16
Knowing and Not Knowing............................................................. 17
Oneness and Many-ness ................................................................... 24
Let the Heart Be Your Guide ........................................................... 27

P A R T 2
Getting to the Truth

The Qualities of Truth ...................................................................... 32
Desire ................................................................................................. 34
Spiritual Longing ............................................................................... 37
Uncovering the Lie of Identity ......................................................... 38
Identity Formation ............................................................................ 40
Beyond the Self-Image ...................................................................... 42
From Lies to Truth ........................................................................... 44
Surrender and Expanded Will .......................................................... 46
P A R T 3
Being

Transparency ..................................................................................... 49
Nothing Special ................................................................................. 54
Oneness Is Already Here .................................................................. 55
Nothingness ....................................................................................... 66

P A R T 4
The Mystery of Awareness

Paying Attention ................................................................................ 70
Telling the Truth ............................................................................... 75
Being Present in the Present............................................................. 78
Just Say Yes ........................................................................................ 80
Love and Fear .................................................................................... 84
The Death of Every Moment ........................................................... 86
The Qualities of the Mystery ............................................................ 88
Emptiness .......................................................................................... 91

P A R T 5
The End of Suffering

Desiring What Is ............................................................................... 97
The Nature of Desire ...................................................................... 100
The Ego ........................................................................................... 103
Beyond the How and Why of Grasping ........................................ 105
What’s in It for Me? ........................................................................ 112
The Movement of Awareness ........................................................ 115
Conscious Self-Consciousness ....................................................... 117
P A R T 6
Approaching the Mystery

Living Without a Formula .............................................................. 122
Curiosity and Resting ...................................................................... 124
Honesty ............................................................................................ 128
The Dance Between the Ordinary and the Extraordinary ........... 129
Doing and Non-doing .................................................................... 131
Embracing Feelings ......................................................................... 135
Inquiry and Devotion ..................................................................... 138
Stepping into the Unknown ........................................................... 140
Devotion to a Guru......................................................................... 141

P A R T 7
Two Simple Instructions

The Treasure .................................................................................... 146
The Practice ..................................................................................... 146
Noticing ........................................................................................... 148
Allowing ........................................................................................... 153
Showing Up ..................................................................................... 158

P A R T 8
Awakening

Awakening and Freedom ................................................................ 166
Going Deeper into the Truth ......................................................... 167
Life After Awakening ...................................................................... 169
The Point of No Return to Suffering ............................................ 171
Living the Truth .............................................................................. 172
Freedom for Whom? ...................................................................... 174
Liberation Through Facing Death ................................................. 178
Falling in Love ................................................................................. 179
Commitment to Truth .................................................................... 182
P A R T 9
Living Life as a Question

Living Life as a Question ................................................................ 187
Self-Inquiry ...................................................................................... 189
The Sense of Me .............................................................................. 191
Am I? ................................................................................................ 192
Shifting Your Reference Point ....................................................... 195
Self-Image vs. Reality ...................................................................... 196
Death ................................................................................................ 198
Shrinking Your Awareness Through Judgment ............................ 201
The Life You Are Given ................................................................. 208
Where Is Your Attention? .............................................................. 210
Rejection and Desire ....................................................................... 211
Self-Consciousness .......................................................................... 212
Noticing and Allowing .................................................................... 213
The Myth of Better ......................................................................... 216
Am I Willing? ................................................................................... 219
Be Here Now ................................................................................... 224
Hopelessness.................................................................................... 227
Telling the Whole Truth ................................................................. 230
Love Is Always Here ....................................................................... 232
Everything Is Perfect ...................................................................... 233

About the Author ............................................................................ 255
F O R E W O R D

After years of Zen practice my teacher asked me to begin teaching, and
she gave me these words of advice: Always tell the truth and speak
from your own experience. In the years since, I have found this advice
to be crucial to both teachers and students alike. By inquiring into
truth, we are led ever deeper into the unknown—beyond beliefs and
ideas to the very core of who and what we are. This inquiry takes the
highest degree of integrity and fearlessness we can muster; it challenges
us by taking us out of our heads and into the heart of our deepest
experience of being, which is beyond limitations of body, mind, and
conditioning. Telling the truth is the secret of all true spirituality, and
in order to tell the truth, you must find out what truth is. It is my
experience of Nirmala that he embodies my teacher’s advice both as an
individual and as a teacher.
In the West, we are in need of a practical mysticism that reveals
not only the deepest core of being but also addresses how to act and
relate from that core in this event called “life.” In order to accomplish
this, we do not need another set of how-to instructions, which are so
popular within our modern consumer culture of quick fixes. What we
need is an ever-deepening inquiry into how spirit dances as this very
life, for what we call “life” is but an expression of spirit and therefore
fully spirit itself. As I often say to my own students, “First you awaken
out of life, then you awaken as life itself.”
The beauty of this collection of Nirmala’s talks and dialogues is
that it covers much of the spectrum of spiritual awakening, from the
initial experience of one’s true nature to the practical challenges, which
always call for a deeper seeing and deeper understanding of how spirit
manifests as all of life and beyond. Within these talks and dialogues
you, the reader, will find Nirmala to be a living invitation to look
within.
What is appealing about Nirmala is his humility and lack of
pretense, which welcomes whatever arises within the field of
experience. In the midst of this welcoming is always an invitation to
inquire deeply within, to the core of who and what you are. Again and
again, Nirmala points the questions back to the questioner and beyond
to the very source of existence itself—to the faceless awareness that
holds both the question and the questioner in a timeless embrace.
I invite you into these talks and dialogues—not as a spectator but
as an intimate participant. Look within and see exactly who and what is
doing the looking. In a timeless instant, now, become aware of
yourself as awareness itself.

Adyashanti
March, 2001

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