Nolo’s Essential Guide to Child Custody & Support

391 Pages·2011·2.373 MB·English

by  Emily Doskow

“This book arms readers with the tools they need, whether they are
working to craft a reasonable custody and support agreement or facing
a contentious court battle. An essential title.”
LIBRARY JOURNAL
A LIBRARY
JOURNAL
4TH EDITION BEST BOOK
Nolo’s Essential Guide to
Child Custody

& Support

• Get your state’s custody and support rules
• Find answers for every family
Attorney Emily Doskow • Avoid a destructive court battle
Includes State-Specific Custody and Support Rules
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4th Edition
Nolo’s Essential Guide to
Child Custody &
Support
Attorney Emily Doskow
LAW for ALL
FOURTH EDITION OCTOBER 2017
Editor LINA GUILLEN
Cover Design SUSAN PUTNEY
Book Production SUSAN PUTNEY
Proofreading ROBERT WELLS
Index RICHARD GENOVA
Printing BANG PRINTING
ISSN: 2573-1149 (print)
ISSN: 2573-1157 (online)
ISBN: 978-1-4133-2434-1 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-4133-2435-8 (epub ebook)
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Acknowledgments
This was a challenging book to write, because the topic of children
and divorce is a difficult one to deal with in any context. I want to
acknowledge, first, all of the parents who are working hard to do
what’s right by putting their children’s needs first when crafting
parenting arrangements in a divorce. It isn’t easy, and you have my
respect and admiration.
For this fourth edition, I am grateful to Stephen Stine for his
thorough research and help with the charts, and to Nolo’s production
department for, as always, making my words look good.
I am ever-grateful to my friends and family for cheering me on and
providing material assistance while I worked. No one deserves more
thanks than my wife, Luan Stauss, whose abiding patience, help, and
gentle prodding made it possible for me to actually get this project done.
About the Author
Emily Doskow is a practicing attorney and mediator who has been
working with families in the Bay Area for more than 25 years. She
specializes in family law, including adoption, surrogacy, parentage issues,
prenuptial agreements, and mediated and collaborative divorce. She is a
graduate of the Boalt Hall School of Law at the University of California
at Berkeley and currently resides in Oakland. As an editor and author for
Nolo, she has authored or coauthored numerous titles, including Nolo’s
Essential Guide to Divorce; The Sharing Solution: How to Save Money,
Simplify Your Life & Build Community (with Janelle Orsi), The Legal Guide
for Lesbian & Gay Couples (with Frederick Hertz), and many others.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Your Child Custody and Support Companion ..........1
1 Basics of Divorce .............................................................................................................3
The Big Issues: Child Custody and Support .........................................................4
When You Separate ..........................................................................................................7
Annulment ..........................................................................................................................14
The Court Process ...........................................................................................................15
Kinds of Divorces .............................................................................................................20
Parentage Actions for Unmarried Couples ........................................................25
Divorce for Same-Sex Couples ..................................................................................26
2 Basics of Child Custody ............................................................................................29
Physical and Legal Custody .......................................................................................30
Creating a Parenting Plan: Out of Court .............................................................33
Sample Parenting Plans ...............................................................................................34
When Parents Can’t Agree: Going to Court......................................................43
Contentious Issues ..........................................................................................................47
Making Shared Parenting Work ...............................................................................51
3 Basics of Child Support ............................................................................................59
Who Pays Support? .......................................................................................................60
How Child Support Is Calculated ...........................................................................61
How to Estimate Child Support Obligations ....................................................62
Deviating From the Guidelines................................................................................66
Creating Your Own Written Agreement ............................................................70
Going to Court for a Support Decision ...............................................................76
Temporary Support While the Divorce Is Pending .......................................76
Taxes and Your Children ..............................................................................................78
Health Insurance and Medical Child Support Orders .................................81
4 When You Decide to Divorce: The First Month .................................85
Talking to the Kids ..........................................................................................................87
Figure Out Immediate Housing and Custody Issues ....................................89
Make a Temporary Parenting Plan ........................................................................94
Start Addressing Money Issues ................................................................................97
Get Organized ................................................................................................................106
File Court Papers ...........................................................................................................107
How to Get Your Agreements Made Into Orders ......................................108
Take Care of Yourself and Your Kids ..................................................................109
5 Avoiding a Custody or Support Trial: Alternatives to Court ......119
Why You Should Avoid a Court Fight ...............................................................120
Negotiating With Your Spouse .............................................................................122
Mediation .........................................................................................................................122
Collaborative Divorce .................................................................................................136
Arbitration .......................................................................................................................138
Private Judging ...............................................................................................................142
Going to Trial ..................................................................................................................143
6 Dealing With the Court: Paperwork and Court Hearings .............145
Types of Court Hearings ...........................................................................................147
Scheduling a Hearing ..................................................................................................148
Dealing With the Other Parent’s Attorney .....................................................150
Preparing Court Documents ..................................................................................150
Documents You Might Need .................................................................................156
Declarations .....................................................................................................................157
Serving Papers ................................................................................................................163
Gathering Evidence: Disclosures and Discovery ...........................................165
Preparing for the Hearing .........................................................................................168
At the Hearing ................................................................................................................170
After the Hearing ..........................................................................................................173
7 Going to Trial ................................................................................................................175
Should You Have a Lawyer?.....................................................................................176
Getting a Trial Date .....................................................................................................177
Issues in Child Custody Trials .................................................................................181
Issues in Child Support Trials .................................................................................191
Courtroom Procedures at Your Trial .................................................................194
After the Trial .................................................................................................................206
8 Custody Orders: Living With, Enforcing,
and Changing Them ...................................................................................207
Sharing Parenting After a Custody Hearing or Trial ...................................209
When the Other Parent Violates a Court Order .........................................215
When the Other Parent Is Just Annoying ........................................................217
When the Kids Don’t Want to Go .......................................................................218
If You Suspect Abuse ..................................................................................................219
When the Other Parent Doesn’t Take the Children ..................................220
Traveling With Your Child........................................................................................221
Changing Your Custody Arrangements ...........................................................222
When One Parent Is Out of State ........................................................................232
If You Move to Another State: Registering Your Custody Order ........234
9 Child Support Orders: Living With, Enforcing,
and Changing Them.................................................................................................237
Arranging for Support Payments .........................................................................238
If You’re Paying Support: Changing the Amount ........................................243
How Long Child Support Lasts .............................................................................245
When Circumstances Change................................................................................247
Enforcing Support Orders Across State Lines ...............................................250
If Your Spouse Goes Missing...................................................................................252
Bankruptcy and Child Support .............................................................................253