No Regrets: An American Adventure in Afghanistan

256 Pages·2013·2.9 MB·English

by  David Kaelin

Afghanistan
© David Kaelin 2013
I have not written all this to complain: I have simply written the truth. I do not
intend by what I have written to compliment myself: I have simply set down
exactly what happened. Since I have made it a point in this history to write the
truth of every matter and to set down no more than the reality of every event, as
a consequence I have reported every good and evil I have seen of father and
brother and set down the actuality of every fault and virtue of relative and
stranger. May the reader excuse me; may the listener take me not to task.
~ Babur Khan, founder of the Mughal Empire
Do not try to do too much with your own hands. Better the Arabs do it tolerably
than that you do it perfectly. It is their war, and you are to help them, not to win
it for them. Actually, also, under the very odd conditions of Arabia, your
practical work will not be as good as, perhaps, you think it is.
~ T.E. Lawrence, The Evolution of a Revolt
I don’t fear death; I fear remaining silent in the face of injustice. I am young and
I want to live. But I say to those who would eliminate my voice: I am ready,
wherever and whenever you might strike. You can cut down the flower, but
nothing can stop the coming of the spring.
~ Malalai Joya, Raising My Voice
Table of Contents
Author’s Note
Abbreviations
Maps
Part I
Defense Contractors, Mercenaries, and War Profiteers, Oh My!
Fort Knox, Kentucky
Into the ‘Stan!
Operation Enduring Freedom
Taliban Rocket Show
Fallen Soldiers: The Pat Tillman Story
Balkans Invasion
$35 Haircut Special
Camp Cupcake—The Easy Life
Phoenix Rising
Bombs, Bullets, Insurgents
Part II
The Nights of Kabul
White Collar Mercenaries R Us
Arriving in the Mile High City
The Taliban’s House of Murder
Wazir Akbar Khan and the Chinese
The Kabul Beauty School
Part III
Herat: The Revolutionary City
The Pearl of Khorasan
TarjomaniMan
Meeting the General
Terp Boot Camp
Training the Afghans
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Masjid Jami
Ghalla Attar
Motorcycles, Politics, and Sex Videos
Kidnappings and Drive-Bys
Major Zahir Arrives
Boy Buggin’ Pashtuns
Chaghcharan
No Greater Love
The Boys from Farah
Land of the Great Conquerors
Epilogue
Glossary
Acknowledgments
Author’s Note
This book is based on true events that occurred during my decade of service in
Afghanistan as a defense contractor for the U.S. military. I have changed the
names to protect those who may be endangered by their continuing involvement
with Coalition Forces. This is a very real danger. It is especially true of those
brave men and women who serve as interpreters and translators for the U.S.
military and Coalition Forces. These men and women, primarily Afghan, place
their lives on the line daily in their efforts to drag Afghanistan to a better future.
Other individuals, particularly defense contractors, mentioned herein still
work and live in Afghanistan. The U.S. Army and State Department are staffed
with many people who hate, or merely dislike, contractors. Any chance they
come by to fire a contractor would be seized upon with relish. For that reason,
I’ve changed all those names as well.
The U.S. Army denied contractors (and still does to an extent) the right to
carry firearms in self-defense. Instead, they leave us reliant on the military
personnel who surround us. Some of the men and women with whom I worked
disagreed with this policy. These persons offered me the opportunity to have a
measure of self-defense at my disposal. Those names were changed as well.
As regards other U.S. military personnel, if I felt that the actions of a given
soldier or marine might endanger their careers, I changed their name. Similarly, I
changed the names of certain members of the National Guard. I did not work
closely with U.S. Air Force or Navy personnel. I retained the real names of
colonels, generals, and other high-ranking members of the armed forces, since
these individuals have all been cited in the press at one time or another, and, in
many instances, quite often.
I have also retained most of the Afghan military officers’ real names. They
know the dangers that surround them. They are public figures. Some of these
men are as venal as the Taliban and bandits who prey on the Afghan populace.
Others are men simply trying to make a decent living and survive with a measure
of security for themselves and their families. Even the venal ones befriended me
and offered hospitality and a measure of security in my travels throughout
Afghanistan. I do not call these men corrupt or criminal in this book. I write of
my experiences with them. I leave you to your opinion of their humanity.
Abbreviations
AAFES Army and Air Force Exchange Service
ABP Afghan Border Police
ANA Afghan National Army
ANP Afghan National Police
ANSF Afghan National Security Forces
AO Area of Operations
AR Army Regulation
BAF Bagram Airfield
BDE Brigade
BN Battalion
CAC Common Access Card
CDR Commander of a Unit (company, battalion, brigade, division, or
corps)
CFC-A Combined Forces Command–Afghanistan
CIA Central Intelligence Agency
CIF Central Issue Facility
CJTF-180 Combined Joint Task Force 180
CO or Company
COY
COL Colonel
CONOP Convoy Operation
CONUS Continental United States
CPL Consolidated Property Listing
CPOL Civilian Personnel Online
CPT Captain
CRC CONUS Replacement Center
CSM Command Sergeant Major
CW2 Chief Warrant Officer Two
CW3 Chief Warrant Officer Three
CYA Cover Your Ass
DA Department of the Army
DART District Assessment and Reformation Team
DCO Deputy Commander
DFAC Dining Facility Administration Center
DHQ District Headquarters
DPM Deputy Program Manager
DSN Defense Information Systems
EOD Explosive Ordnance Disposal
FATA Federally Administered Tribal Areas
FDD Focused District Development
FOB Forward Operating Base
FUBAR Fucked Up Beyond All Repair
HMMWV High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle
HQ Headquarters
IED Improvised Explosive Device
ISAF International Security Assistance Force
K2 Karshi-Khanabad
KBR Kellogg, Brown & Root
KIA Killed in Action
LOGCAP Logistical Capstone
MAJ Major
MG Major General
MOD Ministry of Defense
MOI Ministry of Interior
MP Military Police
MPRI Military Professional Resources Inc.
MRAP Mine Resistant Ambush Protected
MSG Master Sergeant
MSR Main Service Road
MWR Morale, Welfare, and Recreation
NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organization
NCO Non-Commissioned Officer
NGO Non-Governmental Organization
NWFP Northwest Frontier Province
OCS Officer Candidate School
OEF Operation Enduring Freedom
OIC Officer in Charge
OIF Operation Iraqi Freedom
OP Operations
PBO Property Book Officer
PBOSS Property Book Operations Sustainment and Support
PBUSE Property Book Unit Supply Enhanced
PEB Pre-Engineered Building
PFC Private First Class
PHQ Province Headquarters
POI Program of Instruction
PX Post Exchange
RBWT Regional Battle Warrior Training
RCAG Regional Command Advisory Group
RHQ Regional Headquarters
RPAC Regional Property Assistance Command
RPAT Regional Property Assistance Team
R&R Rest and Recuperation
RTC Regional Training Center
S4 NCOIC Supply (or Logistics) Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge
SAS Special Air Service
SECFOR Security Forces
SF Special Forces
SFC Sergeant First Class
SGM Sergeant Major
SGT Sergeant
SOP Standard Operating Procedures
SPBS Standard Property Book System
SPC Specialist
SSA Supply Support Activity
STD Sexually Transmitted Disease
SUV Sport Utility Vehicle
TF Task Force
TOA Turnover of Authority
TOC Tactical Operations Center
TOG The Old Guard
TPE Theater Provided Equipment
UAV Up-Armored (and/or Unmanned Aerial Vehicle) High Mobility
HMMWV Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle
UCMJ Uniform Code of Military Justice
USFOR-A United States Forces–Afghanistan
USO United Service Organization
UXO Unexploded Ordnance
VA Veterans Affairs
VBIED Vehicle-Borne Improvised Explosive Device
XO Executive Officer, usually second in command of a military unit