No More Stress!: Be Your Own Stress Management Coach

209 Pages·2010·0.49 MB·English

NO MORE STRESS!

NO MORE STRESS!
Be Your Own Stress
Management Coach
Gladeana McMahon
First published in 2011 by
Karnac Ltd.
118 Finchley Road, London NW3 5HT
Copyright © 2011 Gladeana McMahon.
The right of Gladeana McMahon to be identified as the
author of this work has been asserted in accordance with
§§ 77 and 78 of the Copyright Design and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted,
in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior
written permission of the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A C.I.P. for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978 1 88575 501 7
Edited, designed, and produced by
The Studio Publishing Services Ltd
www.publishingservicesuk.co.uk
e-mail: [email protected]
Printed in Great Britain
www.karnacbooks.com
Contents
ABOUT THE AUTHOR xi
INTRODUCTION 1
● What’s special about a cognitive–behavioural 1
approach?
HOW WILL THIS BOOK HELP ME? 3
● What materials will I need? 4
WHAT IS STRESS? 6
● Too much of a good thing – the stress response 6
● So, what exactly happens to my body when 10
I become stressed?
● Some statistics about stress 11
● So, just how stressed am I? 11
● Are some people more susceptible? 13
● Could I have learnt to be stressed? 19
● Is all stress bad? 20
● The bus journey 22
WAYS THAT STRESS CAN SHOW ITSELF 24
● Psychological conditions that have stress 24
associated with them
● Frequently asked questions 26
BECOMING STRESS FREE 30
● Help yourself to manage your stress 30
● Stress and dietary tips 36
● Managing your time 37
● Sleep 38
● Physical exercise 41
v
Contents
● Stress at work 41
● Managing change 44
● Time management 46
● Learning to be grateful 52
● The blessings exercise 54
● Getting the most from life 55
● What is my purpose? 60
● Being kind helps me as much as it does you 61
STRESS-FREE THINKING 64
● The four stages of change 64
● The role of optimism 65
● Are my thoughts real? 68
● How do my beliefs affect me? 69
● Faulty thinking 70
● Healthy thinking 71
● Keeping a stress diary 73
● Negative thoughts 76
● The role of judgements 76
● Types of negative thinking 77
● Edit your thoughts 87
● The SPACE model 89
● The A–EModel 89
● Challenge your thoughts 90
● Life rules 96
● Demands that may increase your stress 97
● Challenging your demands 98
● Summary 101
● Putting it all together: a model for 101
understanding your stress
● The concept of good and bad moods 102
● Learn to accept yourself 105
● Tips to help you like yourself 105
vi
Contents
● Learn to appreciate yourself 109
● The life audit 110
● Distraction 111
STRESS-FREE EMOTIONS 113
● Learn to be emotionally smart 113
● Learning to appreciate yourself and others 118
● Other people’s emotions 119
● How to deal with strong emotion 121
● Don’t put things off! 122
● Get moving 124
● Guilt 124
● Cost–benefit analysis 126
● The role of assertiveness 126
● Shame and humiliation 127
● How to deal with shame and humiliation 128
● Dealing with worry 129
● Relaxation 131
● How to use coping imagery to deal with 131
negative emotions
STRESS-FREE ACTIONS 134
● Graded exposure 134
● Using coping imagery to reduce stress 136
● Problem solving 139
● The six-stage problem-solving model 139
● Assertion training 147
● Four types of behaviour 148
● Assertiveness involves respect for self 153
and for others
● Some assertiveness skills 154
● Managing instant reactions 155
● Less is more 156
vii
Contents
● More assertiveness skills 156
● My personal rights 159
● Dealing with difficult situations 160
● Handling criticism 163
● Giving criticism 164
● Managing put-downs 165
● Using the ‘traffic light’ system 166
● The role of ‘time out’ 167
● Learning how to argue 168
THE STRESS-FREE DIET 174
● Stress and dietary tips 174
● What can I do to help myself? 175
● What food can I eat? 177
WHAT TYPE OF HELP IS AVAILABLE? 180
● Talking about the problem 180
● Learning to relax 180
● Psychological therapies 180
USEFUL RESOURCES 182
APPENDICES 185
CONTACT ME 193
INDEX 195
viii
To all my clients who have allowed me
to share their challenges