Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Introduction PART ONE - The Inside Scoop: Making Connections and Establishing Rapport “Hello, Hello, Hello . . .”: The First Step “You Can Call Me Sam, You Can Call Me Joe . . .”: Introducing Yourself in a Crowd “Have You Met What’s-Her-Name?”: Effortless Introductions Name-Calling Calamities and How to Avoid Them “Not Too Hard, Not Too Soft—Just Right”: Shaking Hands Correctly Greetings and Gender: Handshakes Are for Women, Too The Business of Business Cards What to Say, When: Selecting Topics for Conversation Little Things Mean a Lot: Making Small Talk The New Rules of “Helping Etiquette” Culture Counts: Establishing Relationships Abroad Learn the Lingo: Conversations Around the World PART TWO - Dining, Drinking, and Other “Strictly Business” Social Occasions “Let’s Do Lunch”: When You Are the Host “It’s Not What You Eat . . .”: When You Are the Guest The “Secret” Language of Restaurant Dining Slurping Your Soup and Other Dining Don’ts Closing the Culture Gap: Dining Internationally “I’ll Get This”: Who Pays? “Oh, My Gosh!”: Irresponsible Drinking When in Rome, or Russia, or Romania, Drink Wisely Make the Most of the Moment: Mingling with Style and Grace “Is This Really Necessary?”: A Party at Your Boss’s Home Entertaining at Your Home Gifts, Glorious Gifts: Where to Draw the Line PART THREE - A Professional Presence: It’s More Than What You Do, It’s How You ... LOOK THE PART: COMMUNICATE YOUR IMAGE—WORDLESSLY - Your Clothes Talk: What ... Clothing Means Business: Business and Business Casual All Business Casual Is Not Alike Sexy Never Says Corporate Give Yourself the Great Grooming Edge Don’t Get Caught with Your Shoes Off ! Your Body Speaks a Thousand Words Listen Up! SPEAK THE PART: COMMUNICATE YOUR IMAGE—WITH WORDS - If You Speak, But Aren’t ... “I Don’t Know How to Say This”: Finding the Right Words “It’s Not Funny!”: Inappropriate Humor PART FOUR - Techno-and Retro-Etiquette: Getting Your Message Across in a 24/7 World Before You Press “Send”: Email Embarrassments and Other Faux Pas Some Things Change, Some Don’t: The Anatomy of an Email “But It’s Casual” Doesn’t Cut It: Quality Counts “Just the Fonts, Ma’am”: Check and Double-Check Brrrring!!!!: To Answer or Not to Answer “But It’s Playing My Song”: Manners Matter More Than Ever (or At Least As Much) ... Say It Succinctly: Effective Voicemail Messages Your Voicemail Message Says a Lot: Make Sure It Says You’re a Pro Group Speak: Teleconferencing PART FIVE - Your Career Is What You Make It: Business Skills to Take You Up the ... POLISHING YOUR SKILLS - Use Your Head to Get Ahead Come Blow Your Horn Make the Most of Meetings “Excuse Me!”: Interrupting “It Won’t Play in Peoria!”: Interfering with Someone’s Job “Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch”: Negativity at Work Common Courtesy Should be Common Sense Walking a Tightrope: The Office Romance “Make Yourself Comfortable”: Making Visitors Feel Wanted PERFECT PRESENTATIONS - The #1 Fear: Stage Fright Where to Put Your Hands and Other Secrets of Powerful Presentations Seeing Is Believing: Visual Aids MOVING ON - Networking Is Not Just for Computers: Develop and Nurture Yours Your Future Is Now: The Job Search Practice, Practice, Practice: The Job Interview PART SIX - What to Say When It’s Hard to Say: How to Handle Difficult Communications AWKWARD SITUATIONS - “Oops, I Shouldn’t Have Said That!”: Handling Yourself ... Don’t Go There!: How Not to Have a Discussion “Why Didn’t You Tell Me?”: Saving Someone from Embarrassment What You Don’t Say Also Counts: Providing Feedback When the Going Gets Rough: Responding Positively to Negative Comments CONFLICT, CALAMITIES, AND OTHER CATASTROPHES “Keep It Outside”: An Office Is Not a Boxing Ring It’s How You Say (or Don’t Say) It That Counts CONCLUSION Acknowledgements INDEX ABOUT THE AUTHORS Most Prentice Hall Books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fund- raising, or educational use. Special books, or book excerpts, can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write: Special Markets, The Berkley Publishing Group, 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014. PRENTICE HALL PRESS Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), Cnr. Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Of ces: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. Copyright © 2006 by Barbara Pachter. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. PRENTICE HALL PRESS is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. The Prentice Hall design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) Inc. eISBN : 978-0-73520407-2 1. Business etiquette. 2. Business communication. I. Coleman, Ellen Schneid. II. Title. III. Title: New Rules at work. HF5389.P3 2006 395.5’2—dc22 2006019258 http://us.penguingroup.com INTRODUCTION No Way! Who Would Do That? Meet Jonathan. He graduated at the top of his class from an Ivy League school and then got his MBA from a leading business school. Jonathan quickly landed a high-level dream job as a technology consultant. Things were really going his way until his first client dinner. When he sat down at the table he put his chewing gum underneath his plate. Jonathan’s new boss was appalled by his behavior; the client probably was, too, though he never said anything. The next day, in his boss’s office, Jonathan was told, “If anything like that happens again, you’re out of here.” You may say: “He didn’t mean to do it. He probably didn’t know. Cut him a break. It was an innocent mistake.” Or maybe you’re saying, “No one would do that! I would never do that.” And perhaps you wouldn’t, but are you certain you wouldn’t commit some other blunder—one with the potential to sideline your career? People often believe you can slip up here and there and it won’t matter in the long run. Take it from me: Your behavior, including the bloopers, blunders, and innocent mistakes matter. They can matter big-time! I know this is true, not because I read it somewhere, but because I hear it all the time from those who attend my classes and seminars and those I coach, from my corporate clients, and from the countless letters and emails I receive from those who’ve read my books and articles in newspapers and magazines as well as those who’ve heard me speak. I’m a business communications trainer and coach. I have been teaching business etiquette for more than fifteen years. I give approximately one hundred seminars and coaching sessions a year to a wide range of business professionals at all rungs on the corporate ladder. They come from a wide variety of companies—large and small—and from all across the country as well as from overseas. I’ve also taught in numerous countries including Kuwait, France, and
Description: