Never Sleep With The Director

20 Pages·2012·1.27 MB·English

This book is meant for movie-lovers, silver-screen
starlets and the people who get to yell ‘cut’ and
‘action’ on set. It contains 51 movie-related rules,
Because, ultimately,
A
their history and quotes; by industry leaders, ndN every rule related to, or governing,
Hlisotl loyfw aocotdo rbsi ga nsdh oatcst, riensdsiees d.irectors and a whole 50 oever film is ridiculous...
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The rules range from helpful tips for the editors – erlee
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“Kill Your Darlings” – to words of wisdom aimed id W Never
at directors – “Never work with animals or children.” icit
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From horror movie clichés – “Never pick up the lo T
phone” – to the ridiculous rules of the old uh
se Sleep
Hollywood Production Code – “No picture shall F D
be produced which will lower the moral standards ilmire
of those who see it” – right down to sound advice Ructo With The
for any struggling actor or actress – “Never Sleep ler
s
with the Director.”
Director
Edited by Anneloes van Gaalen
And 50 other
Ridiculous Film Rules
Never
Sleep
With The
Director
And 50 other
Ridiculous Film Rules
COLOPHON
BIS Publishers
Het Sieraad
Postjesweg 1
1057 DT Amsterdam
The Netherlands
T (+) 31 (0)20-515 02 30
Never
F (+) 31 (0)20-515 02 39
[email protected]
www.bispublishers.nl
Sleep
ISBN 978-90-6369-276-6
With The
Copyright © 2012 BIS Publishers
Ridiculous Design Rules is a concept developed
Director
by Lemon Scented Tea and commissioned by
Premsela, Dutch Platform for Design and Fashion
(www.premsela.org).
Editorial Director: Anneloes van Gaalen And 50 other
(www.paperdollwriting.com)
Ridiculous Film Rules
Designed by: Lilian van Dongen Torman
(www.lilianvandongentorman.nl)
Proofreading: Sarina Ruiter-Bouwhuis
All rights reserved.
Printed in China.
CONTENTS
1 Never sleep with the director 8 29 “Filmmaking is a collaborative process.” 86
2 The book will always be better 12 30 “Suffering is more cinematic than happiness.” 90
3 Show, don’t tell 14 31 Film is emotion 92
4 Kill your darlings 18 32 Have a happy ending 94
5 Have fun 20 33 “Continuity is overrated.” 96
6 Less is more 22 34 Shoot every shot 100
7 Dress the part 26 35 Know your lines 102
8 Forget the film, watch the titles 28 36 What happens on set, stays on set 106
9 “Never work with animals or children.” 30 37 Cut on motion 110
10 Take risks 34 38 “Editing is the essence of cinema.” 112
11 Get top billing 36 39 Schedule a test screening 114
12 “It is better to be good than to be original.” 38 40 Slow-in and slow-out 118
13 The older the actress, the fewer the parts 42 41 Make an entrance 122
14 Hollywood is sexist 44 42 Moviemaking is a business 124
15 Have a beginning, a middle and an end 48 43 It’s all about the money 126
16 Never trust the director 50 44 A good script is half the work 130
17 It’s better to be typecast than not cast at all 54 45 Sequels suck 134
18 “Complete nudity is never permitted.” 56 46 “A film should stand on its own.” 136
19 Bring magic to the silver screen 60 47 Never underestimate the importance of sound 138
20 “Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.” 62 48 Lights, camera, action! 140
21 There is a Method to the madness 64 49 Film is dead 142
22 “Nobody ever put up a statue to a critic.” 68 50 The audience is always right 146
23 Make movies for planet earth 72 51 Break the rules 150
24 “Let other people cut your trailer!” 74
25 Don’t answer the phone 76
26 Sex sells 78
27 Have a realistic budget 80
28 Secure final cut 82
INTRODUCTION
From its inception in the late who see it” – right down to sound
nineteenth century, the movies have advice for any struggling actor
captured our collective imagination. or actress – “Never sleep with the
Over the years the technology has director.”
changed, as have the ‘rules’ that
filmmakers adhere to. High time to Ridiculous Film Rules is the sixth
shine some light on film-related tips, book in a series that focuses on rules
tricks and mishaps. that people working in the creative
industry – graphic designers, fashion
This book is meant for movie lovers, designers, advertisers, typographers
silver-screen starlets and the people and filmmakers – can rely on, or
who get to yell ‘cut’ and ‘action’ ignore altogether. Future publications
on set. It contains 51 movie-related include Ridiculous Photography Rules
rules, their history and quotes by and Ridiculous Art Rules.
industry leaders, Hollywood big shots,
indie directors and a whole list of Also visit www.ridiculousrules.com.
actors and actresses.
The rules range from helpful tips
for editors – “Kill your darlings” –
to words of wisdom aimed at
directors – “Never work with animals
or children.” From horror movie
clichés – “Never pick up the phone”
– to the ridiculous rules of the old
Hollywood Production Code – “No
picture shall be produced which will
lower the moral standards of those
9
Never
It might be tempting for a struggling “Never fall in love with your leading
actor or actress to sleep his or her way lady!”
to the top. Likewise, a director could Wim Wenders (1945), German
easily fall for his or her leading lady director
sl eep or man. But as attractive as it might
seem to share your bed, or trailer, with “Having sex with any member of your
the object of your on-set affection, cast is a bad idea – crew is better.”
it generally serves the movie and your John Waters (1946),
career best to keep some professional American director
wi th the distance.
“If someone’s playing my character,
I have to be in love with her to some
“The ladder of success in Hollywood degree. It’s not so much about lust,
is usually a press agent, actor, director, but I have to adore her.”
director
producer, leading man; and you are Quentin Tarantino (1963), American
a star if you sleep with each of them in director
that order. Crude, but true.”
Hedy Lamarr (1914-2000), “It looks like a clever ruse getting
Austrian-American actress together with a film director.
rule
01 Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
“Never fuck the talent.” Tim [Burton] is unbelievably
Charlton Heston (1923-2008), disciplined about employing me only
American actor if I am absolutely right. For Sweeney
Todd, it was like I had to be more
“It’s a little daunting when you’re right than anyone else; it was ‘in spite
doing a love scene with somebody else of’, instead of ‘because of’, being his
and your husband says something like, girlfriend.”
‘That was terrific darling, but I know Helena Bonham Carter (1966),
you can do it better.’” British actress
Julie Andrews (1935), British actress
11
rule
02 13
The book will
always be better
In 2010 posters with Oscar reading “A movie is not a book. If the
a book started popping up both online source material is a book, you cannot
and in the city of Amsterdam. The be too respectful of the book. All you
posters, which read ‘the book was owe to the book is the spirit.”
better,’ were made by Dutch designer Graham Greene (1904-1991),
Woes van Haaften (of Incl.) who British author
wanted to visually communicate the
close relationship that exists between “When I do a novel, I don’t really
the world of books and film: “March use the script, I use the book; when
traditionally is the month of the I did Apocalypse Now, I used Heart
Oscars and the annual Dutch Book of Darkness. Novels usually have so
Ball. The two worlds are connected much rich material.”
in one respect because both books and Francis Ford Coppola (1939),
films are cultural products that tell a American director
story. On the other hand, these worlds
compete with each other. When a book “Don’t adapt novels.”
is adapted for the screen, it’s only a Wim Wenders (1945), German
matter of time before reviews come director
out stating that ‘the book was better’
than the film. By unifying both events “I never see a novel as a film while
we had the ultimate ground to motivate I’m writing it. Mostly because novels
the public to consider this cliché.” and films are so different, and I’m such
an internal novelist.”
Alice Hoffman (1952), American
author
“A movie is not a book. If the source
15
rule
03
This rule actually comes from the “When we tell a story in cinema, we “I think people remember pictures, not “The right image or look can replace
world of writing. The idea is that should resort to dialogue only when it’s dialogue. That’s why I like pictures.” a page of dialogue.”
you don’t just tell your reader what impossible to do otherwise. I always try David Lean (1908-1991), British Steven Zaillian (1953), Armenian-
is going on, but paint a picture using first to tell a story in the cinematic way, director American screenwriter and director
words so that they can really feel part through a succession of shots and bits
of the story. Because film is a visual of film in between… Dialogue should “The aesthetics of film are 80 percent “I’m kind of pissed off about all
medium, you’d think that showing simply be a sound among sounds, just visual, 20 percent auditory... The best these PG-13 movies that aren’t scary,
rather than telling would come natural. something that comes out of the mouths advice for writing film dialogue is that are not efficient. They don’t show
Unfortunately, there are still plenty of people whose eyes tell the story in don’t. Never write a line of dialogue you anything. ‘Less is more’ is the
of directors who insist on jam packing visual terms.” when you can create a visual bullshit everyone at the studios is
their cinematic endeavor with static Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980), expression.” feeding you. No! I want to see it! If
conversational scenes that are heavy British director Robert McKee (1941), American I don’t see anything, I can’t get into
in dialogue and short on action. screenwriting lecturer the movie.”
Alexandre Aja (1978), French film
director
17