Neither-Nor: A Young Australian's Experience with Deafness (Deaf Lives Series, Vol. 5)

222 Pages·2007·1.23 MB·English

by  Paul Jacobs

neither—nor
Paul Jacobs
A Young Australian’s Experience with Deafness
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Neither-Nor
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NEITHER-
NOR
A Young Australian’s Experience
with Deafness
PAUL GORDON JACOBS
G A L L A U D E T U N I V E R S I T Y P R E S S
Washington, D.C.
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Deaf Lives
A Series Edited by Brenda Jo Brueggemann
Gallaudet University Press
Washington, DC 20002
http://gupress.gallaudet.edu
© 2007 by Gallaudet University Press
All rights reserved. Published 2007
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Jacobs, Paul, 1974–
Neither-nor : a young Australian’s experience with deafness / Paul Jacobs.—
1st ed.
p. cm.—(Deaf lives)
ISBN 978-1-56368-350-3 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Jacobs, Paul, 1974– 2.
Deaf—Australia—Biography. 3. Hearing impaired—Australia—Biography.
I. Title.
HV2943.J33A3 2007
362.4⬘2—dc22
2007006556
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements
of American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper
for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1984.
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CONTENTS
Acknowledgments vii
Prologue: She Wasn’t Meant to Die 1
1. My Life Wasn’t Supposed to Begin This Way 4
2. The Wicked Stepmother 11
3. Handicapped? 16
4. The Mentor 27
5. They Don’t See Me as Deaf 37
6. Beyond the Divide 47
7. The Invisible Disability 57
8. The Garden of the Dead 63
9. A Date at “Macca’s” 67
10. The Ganga Man 75
11. A Call to Adventure 78
12. The Deaf World 84
13. Michaela 93
14. The Language That Has No Name 103
15. Pookie and Snoogums 107
16. Guilt? 114
17. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, Oi, Oi! 121
18. A Rip 128
19. An Emotional Bonsai 135
20. A Herald of Change 142
21. Whatever Happens 146
22. Florentine Acquaintances 150
23. Three Candles in St. Mark’s Cathedral 156
24. England 164
25. Asylum 169
26. The Voices of the Damned 173
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vi c o n t e n t s
27. Back to School 180
28. You’re Not Here to Kill Me, Are You? 188
29. Getting Out of There 195
30. Life in the Sane World 199
31. Home Again 205
Afterword 213
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Acknowledgments
Acknowledgments are due for those within this book and those without.
I’ve recently moved to Melbourne to do my Ph.D at the University of
Melbourne and have enjoyed the supervision of acclaimed professionals
who have taught me more about the deafness experience than I would have
otherwise acquired. These include Professor Field Rickards, Associate Pro-
fessor Glenda MacNaughton, Associate Professor Margaret Brown, and
Dr Louise Paatsch. The ease with which I have found my new life is largely
due to my cousin Tim Jacobs and his partner Renee. Basha . . . genera-
tions of future deaf Malaysians will reap the rewards of your work.
To “Bella”: It meant so much to me that we met again in the autumn
of 2006. “We were only kids,” you said. After all these years, you pro-
vided me closure. You’re a beautiful person.
Much of this book was written listening to the music of Silverchair.
Daniel Johns’s voice, lyrics, and music enabled me to feast on the gray of
the night and to extract the green from the pastures. To those nameless
hundreds of people who caption television and DVDs, I owe you an im-
mense debt. You have provided the missing link that has enriched not
only my literacy development but also my social relationships with kin,
friends, and acquaintances alike. This book was “gathering dust” in a
computer file for many years. To Brenda Jo Brueggemann, Deirdre
Mullervy, and Ivey Wallace at Gallaudet University Press, thanks for your
faith in me as writer, your supervision, and for ensuring this book’s
fruition. To my father Neil and his wife Linda, Uncle Brian, and Mazza,
your love has been unconditional. Dad, there have been saints and kings
who have done less than you. Strangers have sought me out in the street
asking if I were your son and told me how you enriched their lives. These
are but few.
vii
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Prologue
She Wasn’t Meant to Die
I am the reason my mother died. It was the March 4, 1975. Ann Jacobs
was thirty-three. I was three months old. I killed her.
Mum was admitted into Melbourne’s Alfred Hospital on Christmas
Day 1974. Her health fluctuated but worsened progressively in the follow-
ing weeks. At the worst stage my father brought me to her sickbed to liven
her spirits, but it wasn’t enough. The doctors discovered what was wrong
when it was too late. Mum died of a massive hemorrhage. She was weak-
ened by a heart condition suffered in childhood, and my birth didn’t help.
Few people got to farewell my mother. Her condition deteriorated
rapidly, and when her parents heard the news that she was dying, they
raced toward Melbourne from their home in Warrnambool in western
Victoria. Half way through the 300-kilometer journey, their car splut-
tered to a halt in the night on a desolate stretch of road. They had for-
gotten to refuel in their haste. I don’t know how they got to Melbourne;
but when they finally arrived, their daughter was dead.
In my favorite photograph, I am at Mum’s breast looking into her
eyes, and she is touching my tiny lips with a finger. I have mannerisms
that are not my father’s and have often wondered if they are mine alone.
Amputees often report “feeling” their missing limb. Mum’s presence is
like that for me. The emotional connection between us has never left me.
She is always there, but she’s not.
Mum was cremated at the Springvale Crematorium in northeastern
Melbourne three days after her death. She was given a Humanist funeral
by her own request. As a child, she was baptized and attended church
regularly but later rejected the superstitions, myths, and rituals of Chris-
tianity in adulthood. My Anglican grandparents never had this intellec-
tual or spiritual awakening in the course of their long lives. They simply
believed what they were told when young.
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