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My Dance-odyssey RITHADEYI " Jhen diditallbegin?ProbablythatmagiceveningwhenI- alittlegirl- accompanied l'l' myparentstoseeaperformancebyUdayShankar,thepath-blazerintherenaissance of Indian dance. That breathtaking spectacle of colour, melody, rhytlun, and awesome confrontationbetweengodanddemon,leftmethoroughlymesmerized.Littledid Iknowit then,butthiswasthebeginningofa lovethaiwouldlightmyway throughlife. Iwasbornin1924inBaroda,thenaprincelystateruledbyMaharajaSayajiraoGaekwad, an enlightened personage. He had invited my father Satyavrata Mukhopadhyaya 10his stale,havingbeenimpressedbyhisscholasticachievementswhentheymetinLondonsoon afterFatherhadcompletedhis studiesat Oxford. My father was inducted intothe state's administrativeservice.Hewasalsorespectedasanoratorandwriter. Occasionally, a durbarwould be held by the Maharaja. For the entertainment ofthe visiting royalty, there would be performances by dancers attached to the court, whohad beenbroughtoverfromnorthernandsouthernIndia.Sittingonthebalconywithmymother andthewivesofotherofficers, Iwoulddissolve intogiggles watching thepeculiar'bow legged' stance of thetwo South Indian dancers, which seemed very ugly to me inthose days. Ididn't know then that these two dancers, Gaurabai and Kantimati, belongedto Thanjavur,homeofthebestexponentsofDasiattam(asBharatanatyarn wasknownatthat time), and were related to my own future guru! It was their perfect ayala-manda/am (arahmandi)position,whichIstrovesohardtoacquireinlateryears,thatwasthecauseof mymerriment. OnceIhadseentheperformancebyUdayShankar,Natarajahadmeinthrall,exceptthat atthattimeIhadnoconceptionofNataraja,orevenoftemples,ortheuseofdanceasritual mtemples;myparentswerestrictfollowersoftheBrahmoSamajandforbadeanykindofidol worship.OneofthemanyhurdlesIfacedinmyquestfortheHolyGrail ofdancewastheir wrathwhen,inlateryears,IbroughtfirstastatueofNataraja,andthenanidolofIagannatha. mtothehouse,eventhoughbythat time Iwasnolonger undertheir 'jurisdiction'. IwasthoroughlyunderthespellofUdayShankar,andwassoengrossedwiththememory ofhISperformancethatithauntedmedayandnight.Finally,myparentstookpityonmeand boughtme a second-handgramophone and some old records for solace. This maglc instrumentcameintomylifewithitspromiseofstrange wonderfulvistas'where]couldgi\:e fi . . . , reeremtomydreams.Behindcloseddoors,Iletmyfancyrunwild. . Myparents,however,refusedtoletmelearndancetill[hadfinishedmyacademicsrudies, IUmmgadeafeartoallmyentreaties.SoIrushedmadlythroughschoolandcollege,yetdid m~ fairlywellin scholasticpursuits,graduatingfromcollegeatseventeenwithsomeamount ofproficiencyIttmyfavouritesubjects_ EnglishandSanskritliterature.BUIthereIwas, reanngtostartdancing,whilemyparentsseemedindifferentabout keepingtheirpromiseto Sllng~nNIItDk\01.XXXVI.No.1,2001 MY DANCE-ODYSSEY 45 letme learndance.Theirentireconcentrationwasononethingalone- howtochannelmy lifeintothe pattern accepted by society . .. marriage, motherhood, domesticity. Who had everheard ofa respectablegirltaking up dance?"A daughter ofours cannotdo this",was theirconstantrefrain;and, "What will people say?" OurdaysinBarodacametoan end withFather's retirement. MyparentschoseShillong, thenthe capitalofAssam,to spendtheirtwilightyears,becauseMother wanted tobenear herfather's family.(ller father,thelate Lakshminath Bezbarooa. was fromAssam. and was greatly respected for his rolein the renaissanceofAssamese literature.) Shillongwas amilitary 'familystation', and that meantpartiesgalore. Ihada fairly full sociallife, and,willy-nilly,wasturning intoa socialbutterfly.Finally,somearmy officers' wives and I got together and managed to persuade Howbom Athomba Singh, an eminent Manipuri guru.to cometo Shillong and teachus. He,myfirstguru,wasalittleoldman,withasweet,wizenedfacelikeadryapple.Yetwhen hebegantodance,graceflowedfromhiseverylimb,andhisfacetookonablissfulexpression. Whatablessingto get formal training at last!YetscarcelyhadaweekpassedwhenFather threatened to stop my lessons, saying his money was being uselessly spent. So Istarted teachinglittlechildreninaschoolnearby- somethingthatwasknownas'actiondance' and,with the money Iearned, paidformy dance lessons.Iamproud tosaythat sincethen, Ihaven't accepted any monetaryhelp to learndance. Shillongwas fullofyoungarmyofficers,andtheirfluttering aroundmebecameamatterof concern formy parents.Then began those 'pilgrimages' to Kolkata,inthe hopeoffinding 'justtheright person' for me,who wouldofcourse be a Bengali Brahmin,educated,well placed,and affluent. Itseemedto bealosing proposition, forourtastes- myparents' and mine- didnotagree.Finally,wereachedanamicablecompromiseandthemarriagelook place- itseemedtome,fartoo hastily.MyhusbandandIhardlykneweachother,andeven though Ihadtakencaretoimpressituponhim thatdancewasapassion Icouldneverforgo, Ifeltwithinmy heartastrangemisgiving. Thismisgiving turnedoutto be well-foundedonour honeymoon inSri Lanka, when an innocentrequesttosee someKandyandance broughtonmyhusband'sfury.[wasstunned and terrified. For the sake of domestic peace, Ihad no choicethen but tosuccumb tohis demandthat Igiveupdance. ForthenextfewmonthsIwasdesolate,backinKolkata,Thenonenight.aswereturned fromaparty,IsawmyManipuriguruandhisassistantstandingbythegate,lookinglostand forlorn.Somehow,theyhadmadetheirwayfrom ImphaltoKolkata, andfoundtheirwayto myhomeinthe hopethatJwouldhelpthem startaschoolinKolkata.My heartwentoutto them.Icouldnotletthemdown,theyweresodependentonme.Thus dancecarneback into mylife.Frictionat homehad to beenduredstoicallyastheprice forthejoyIfeltindance. Whenmy husbandwastransferredto Chennai,it seemedtomeagolden opportunityto studyBharatanatyam;IhadwatchedaperformancebyRukmini DevishortlyafterJhadseen UdayShankar's.IbeganmytraininginthisstyleunderVidwan PandanallurChokkalmgam Pillai,then thedoyenofthegurus.Jwasaskedtobeinclassby5.30a.m,togetthefullbenefit ofagruellingthree-hoursession.Traininginthisstylewas totallydifferentfromwhat J.had knowninManipuri dance, and the transition from soft tohard movements was especially 46 RITHA DEYI tough on myknees.I workedveryhardtoacquire the style, for I wanted to performmy arangetram afteronlysevenmonthsofintense, twice-dailytraining. Iwasinsuchahurry onlybecausemyhusbaodhadaskedforatransfer.Ihastilyperformedmy arangetram,and soon the traosferordercame.I toremyselfaway from Chennai and bade farewell tomy reveredguru,whohadbythistimestartedcallingmehis"priya shishyai".Hewasafather figuretome,andformaoyyearswekeptupalovingcorrespondence.I returnedtoChennai manytimestocontinuemystudywithhim,andacquiredintheprocessalargerepertoire. WethenwenttoMumbai,which eventuallybecamemyhome.Thisiswheremycareer begao,wherepeoplecametoknowaodrespectmyart,and- aboveall-wheremysonwas born. Soon afterarrival, I started looking for new avenues to explore in dance; within Bharataoatyam,IdidnotwaottochangeoverfromtheorthodoxPandanallurstyleiowhich Iwasgrounded.IwastoldofthegreatguruforKathakali,AsanKarunakaranPanikkar,who hadbeensenttoteachinMurnbaibythepoetVallathol.SoI began my Kathakali lessons withhiminrighteamest.I lovedmyclasseswithhim,forhewas awonderful teacher.He brought out on my face- which had already made the transition from the mask-like expressionlessnessofManipuritothesparklingandvivaciousabhinaya ofBharatanatyam - awholeraogeofexpressionsI didnotknowI wascapable of. Eventually, I leamedto emote inthewayhewantedmeto,andtoproduceexaggerated, stylizedexpressions- the entiregamutofthem- sodifferentfromthenatural,femininebhavasofmypreviousstyle. Gradually,Iwaspromotedfromtheearlysupportiverolestosimplefemaleroles,andfmally to the rolesI really waoted to learn- those of demonesses like Puthana, Nakratundi, Simhika. It nowseemsdifficultto believe that my demoness-roles catapulted me to fameaod broughtmeglowingreviewsfrom Europeancritics when eventually I started touring.A highlightofmylifehasbeentheperfonnaoceof'Puthana-moksham'IgaveinKerala,witb myguru accompanying me.whenconnoisseurs.ofKathakali gave me theirungrudging approbation. Onallmylaterforeigntours,thisdaocewasinvariably featured asthefinale. I havetothankmyguruformakingmeanartistcapableofholding herown onthestage. Despitedevotingmyselfto the study ofKathakali, I still looked for more avenuesto explore,aodforabriefspaooftimeKathakheldmeinsway.However,I hadtoabandonit afterayearandahalfbacausemyguru'sbehaviourwithmewasobnoxious.Neverhaving taughtawomaofromarespectablefamily,heequatedmewithwomen oftheclasshewas usedto teaching,andhiscrudesuggestionsand ionuendoes went beyond my tolerance.I nevertouchedKathak afterwards,muchasI loveditsgossamerdelicacy ofmovementand Itsdazzlingb?lhaoce oftechnique.Itnevercametooccupyaplace inmyheart. 1958remainsasignificantyearinmylife,foritwasthenthatIfirstcrossedtheoceansto dance.~~~ist whomEuropeanorganizersconsideredworth invitingonaconcerttour. Forthismvuanon,andothersthatfollowed,Ishallremain indebtedtoPanditRaviShankar· HISrecommendationwasenoughtostartaspateofiovitationsfromEngland,Fraoce,Denmarl< aodGennaoy.Usiogonlyatape-recorderforaccompaniment, I toured all by myself,and mademaoyendunngfriendships. AftermyreturnI studiedMohiniattam,smittenwith itslanguorous grace, flashiogeye- MY DANCE-ODYSSEY 47 movements, and supple body-bends. My first teacher was KalamandaJam Lakshmi Nair. Later,ononeofmytoursinIndia,IstudiedsomemorewiththegreatChinamrnuAmmaatthe KeralaKalamandalam.Iwas the first10bring thisvoluptuous dancetoMumbai. The J960swere adecade ofadventure,discovery,andrevelation.Aftermyfirstheart-in the-mouthtour ofEurope in J958, I could take the subsequent tours in my stride- nine whilebasedinIndia,andthreemoreaftersettlingintheUnitedSlates.Jwasthenaccompanied bymusicians and, in course oftime, my little son, who was to beeome an indispensable memberofmytroupe. Thoseearlytoursweresheerbliss. 1963wasaveryimportantyearinmylife,forinMayofthatyearJreachedtheendofmy quest.Much asIloved thedances Ihadstudiedsofar,theydidnotfulfilmecompletely.In thatyearIatlastfound thedancethatwouldeventuallybecomeonewithme,answeringthe needsofbody,mind, and soul. Odissihadthen beenrecently'discovered',andwhiletheOdissibyIndraniRehman left meunmoved - seeming rather folksy - the Odissi performed by YaminiKrishnamurti touched me deeply. I made enquiries and found out that Yaminihadstudied under Guru PankajCharan Das,adirectdescendantoftheMaharisoftheSriJagannathTempleofPuri. Jcorrespondedwithmyfutureguru,andinvitedhimtoMumbaiinMay1963.Jwasthefirst dancertobringoveranOdissigurutoMurnbai,andthethirdnon-Oriya10takeupthisstyle. Sincethattime Ihave been devotedtoOdissi, almostobsessedwithit,graduallygivingup .11theother styles that Ihad acquiredwith somucheffort andjoy. Imadeupmymindto dedicatemyselfto the resuscitationandworldwideprojectionofthisdancetraditionofthe MaharisofOrissa,wbichhadlongbeenavictimofsocialstigma. 1965openedupanewvistato me,addinganotherstyletomyrepertoire.Duringadance tourofAssam, in the midst ofblackouts and air-raid sirens(for war had been declared betweenIndiaandPakistan),IlearnedSattriyaNrirya,thedanceofthemonksattachedtothe sattras (monasteries) ofAssam.My teachers were twodistinguishedgurus,whoagreedto instructmeinthetraditiontakingintoaccount mypart-Assameseancestry,andthefactthat mygrandfatherhad been apatronoftheir sattra,theKamalabari Sattra.Ithusbecamethe firstwoman to learn this exclusively male dance,andthe firstdancer topresent itoutside Assamand outside India. In1966IperformedintheSovietUnionforthefirsttime.MyearlierperformancesinEast Germany (in the course of my fourth European tour) had fetched this invitation from Gosconcert,theSovietartsorganization.Strangely,thistourpavedthewayformyfirstU.S. tour!This ishow it carne about: In Russia, I waspaid my fees in roubles- a handsome amountwhichIwastoldIcouldn'ttakeawaywithme;itwasnon-convertiblecurrency.So[ hadto spend some ofthe money on a shopping spree (and the things I bought were all confiscated by the Mumbai Customs!), and there was still a lot left over. However. this mortifyingexperiencegavebirthtoabrilliantidea.Foryears,IhadbeencorrespondmgWIth TedShawn.a pioneer ofmodernAmerican dance andthe founder~torofthe Jacob's PillowDance Festival. He had assured me ofaweek-long eng.gement m.thtSfestival ifI ~uld organize the passage for myself and my troupe. So I thought -:-III one ofthose Inspired moments _ whynotuse theRussian moneystilltomy creditonapassageto AmericabytheSoviet airline? ByamiracleGosconcertagreed,andattheendofmysecond 48 RITHA DEVI Russiantour in 1968,wetook anAeroflot flight to the U.S. to do a countrywidetour.The samestoryrepeateditselfin1970.In1971and '72!touredalone, sans musicians.Andinthe latteryear, Itookamomentousdecision.(Inowrealizehowwrongitwas,butatthattimeit seemed tobetheonly rightcourse.) In 1967,mymarriagehadended.ReducedincircumstancesasIwas,Iwas content,forI hadmysonwithme.Aconstantfearthatnaggedatmewasthathewouldmisstheaffluent lifestylehehadbeenusedto.Soin1972,onmyfourth tourofAmerica,whenIwasoffered aposition onthedance faculty ofthe New YorkUniversity's School ofArts, I decidedto acceptitandsettleintheU.S.;thejobassuredmeasteadyincome.'Thisalsomeantsixyears of constant travelling between India andAmerica, becausemy son hadto finishschool beforejoiningme.Thishedidin1978,andlatergraduatedfromtheuniversitywhereItaught. Inthe meantime (in 1969),Ihadhad the privilegeofcoming underthe guidanceofDr VempatiChinnaSatyam,whosenamehasbecomesynonymouswithKuchipudi.Hisvibrant style captivated me utterly, and I had again started my 'pilgrimages' to Chennai before settling inAmerica. Hischiselled andvivacious dancehasseemedto suittheAmerican physique and temperament, and I have had more success teaching Kuchipudi duringall theseyears inAmericathan IhavehadteachingOdissiorBharatanatyam. Myuniversityassignmentcametoanendin]982,aftertenyearsintheU.S.Ithenstarted making long and often strenuous bus-trips to places outside New York - New Jersey, Pennsylvania,Albany - foritisimpossibletoliveinacitylikeNewYorkwithoutgenerating somesort ofanincome. NewYork seemedtobedevoidofpeopleinterested inlearning Indiandance,andIhadnochoicebuttogototheIndiancommunitiessettledinthesuburbs andteachthechildrenthere. Thiscontinuouscommutingtookitstollonmyhealth. Yetthe 1980salsoproved to bethemost fruitful periodinmylife. In 1984my careerin India,whichhadsufferedaten-yearhiatus,reviveditselfwithperformancesattheKhajurahc Festival,andinMumbaiandOrissa.Iwasalsorewardedwithhonoursandawards. In1987, Irealizedthelong-cherisheddream ofmakingafilmonmydance, whichwas titled Vibrant Sculpture,FrozenDance.ItwasshotattheKonaraktemple,andhassincebeenacquiredby institutions like the Metropolitan Museum ofArt and the Lincoln Centre Library ofthe PerformingArts,NewYork,aswellasmanyuniversitiesandindividuals.In1989,Ibrought overthreeexcellentmusiciansfromOrissatoaccompanymeinaperformanceinBerlinfor Unesco. From1980onwardsIhadbegunchoreographingdances,settomusicspeciallycomposed formebyeminentmusiciansofOrissa,employingthemesfromancientSanskritandmedieval Oriya literature. I had thus produced solo dance-dramas based on Kalidas,', Kumarasambhavam, Meghadootam, andRitusamharam,Shudraka's Mrichchhakatikam, and Upendra Bhanja's Lavanyavati. During a brieffive-year phase, I experimentedwith themesfromtheBIble,theJewish Kabbalah,andtheGreekmyths;the choreographywasIII Indiandancestyles,withafusionofIndianandWesternmusic.ForthisworkIwasawarded choreography fellowships bythe NewYork-basedCreativeArtists'PublicServicePrognun (Ill 1979)andtheWashington-basedNationalEndowmentfortheArts(in 1982and '84).But this choreography did not satisfy me. My real fulfilment came from delving into myown ~erpsechorean hentage,andexperiencingtheineffablejoyofseeingmyvisionexpressitselfin MY DANCE-ODYSSEY 53 imagesonthestage,embellishedbyenchantingmusicandpoetry.1994broughtmethefinal reward,whenSangeetNatakAkademivideo-filmedforitsarchivessomeoftheworksIhad choreographed.The Akademi alsofilmedthePanchakanyasolodance-dramas,revolving around the tragic lives of five legendary heroines- Abalya, Draupadi,Tara, Kunti and Mandodari.ThesewerefromthetraditionalrepertoireoftheMaharis,andIwasthefirstand sofaronlydancerto performallthefivepiecestogetheronstage.(Mymarathonthree-and a-half-hourperformancehadbeenfirstpresentedinMumbaiinAugust 1971.Itwasarare honourforme,forIwastherebyacknowledgedasapioneerintheresurrectionoftheMahari tradition.) Iamstillasmadaboutdanceasever.Often,thclittlegirlwhosatentrancedthroughUday Shankar'sperformance wakes up in me.Againthatsurgeofrhythm, colour, andmelody obliteratesallotherthoughtsandanxieties,andIjustrevelinthesheerecstasyofthedance. Allmy life I have never covetedthe statussymbols oftherich,but 1havedesired to possessanybeautifuldancethathasstruckachordinmyheart.AndIhavesparednopains topossessit,evenifithasmeanttravellingacrossthecountry,orspendingaconsiderable portionofmymeagreresourcesonmygurus.WheneverIhavewantedtoexpresssomething - athemethathasattractedmyfancy,astatementIhavewishedtomake,aprotestIhave wantedtovoice- ithasemergedviathemediumofdance. Ihavecometotheendofmydance-odyssey,whichhas reacheditsfinalculminationin theOdissidance,bornandgrowntofullnessinthetemple.Now,intheeveningofmylife,as thedarkshadowsgatheraroundme,Ithinkofmycountry,myroots- thesourceofmylife andmyart- thathavesustainedmesolong.Ihaveneverbeenabletosevermyumbilical cordwithmymotherland.TheyearsIhavespentawayfromherhaveonlymademeloveher more.Myheartfelt desireandardentprayeristoreturntoherinthetwilightofmylife,to breatheinherair,togazeathersky,andtomergeinhersoil.Willshe,theMother,takeme backinherarmsnow,hererrantdaughter,wholefthersomanyyearsago,perhapsonarash impulse,orperhapscompelledbydestiny? z Inthispartofmymemoirsofdance,IwriteabouttheyearsIhaveknownGuruji. GuruPankajCharanDascarnetoMumbaiatmyinvitationinMay1963.Ash.etookthe first steps, 'Tarikitadhi-dhalangu-tat-ta', my eyes hada vision ofsuchexqumte beauty andsurpassinggrace thatwhateverIhadearlierseeninYarnini Krishnarnurti'sdancewas obliterated from my consciousness. I have not known anyotherdancerto.cvok.e the enchantmentthatemanatesfromhisdanceashedemonstratesamovement,cladinaSImple dhotiandkurta.llisdancehas auniquequality,adistinctiveindividuality,w?ichcannever w~t tea~hes bereproducedexactlybyanotherperson.Eventhough he isbasicallyfromt!'e Creall~ty traditionofhisancestresses,theMaharis,hisownsuperlativedancingabilityand giveitacharmandacharacterofitsown,settinghisdanceapartfromtheordinaryrepertoire oftheMaharis.