Murder, Haircut and Shave by William De Lisle

8 Pages·00.209 MB·English

by  Monte Herridge

Mammoth Detective, May, 1943

M
IRZA HUSSEIN came to Isfahan in the road. That was because he was so great a
the cool of afternoon. He was on drinker of blood that it was unsafe to trust him
ass-back; Coral, his man slave, with edged tools. So Hussein declared. Coral
walked. Hussein’s mount had started at Shiraz was a kind of Abyssinian, of the color of
as a tolerable cob, and had undergone certain stewed tea with a dash of milk in it. Mirza
metamorphoses on the way. At Surmeh Hussein was Persian, handsome, dreamy-eyed
Hussein had sold the cob and bought a pony. and athletic. His attire was rich. The brown
The difference in price had kept the party of shawling of his frock-coat was a little worn,
three in bread and fodder as far as Yezdikhast. but no sensible man sports his best when
At Yezdikhast the pony was exchanged for a traveling. The patches on his baggy red
little ass and the price of food for the three to breeches were marvels of art, creditable to the
Isfahan. Hussein sat far back on the ass. When industry of Coral. His boots were the weak
he sat forward his toes scraped the ground. spot, but the ingenious plan of splashing them
But at least he escaped the lowest depth of judiciously with mud at the start of each day’s
Persian degradation, which is walking. journey kept the shabbier spots in the
Hussein and his slave-man, you must background. The saddle-bags before him were
understand, made a living out of the art of fat.
keeping up appearances. At the caravanserai they made such a
Coral wore a decent livery, but not the fuss about securing the best room that nobody
cutlass that a Persian servant should sport on would have dreamed of asking them for cash
Mammoth Detective 2

payment for anything at the inn shop. In the “Sell the ass! What would my friend
best room, a cubby-hole opening on the Fazl Ali think of a man who has to walk? That
common court, Coral arranged the baggage to was a cold speech, Coral. Have we no spare
make the best possible show from outside. He gear?”
spread out Hussein’s only carpet, and the “Hazret, we have a sufficiency of
Mirza laid himself along the middle of it to clothes to hide our nakedness. Otherwise—”
conceal the scrap of unswept floor revealed by Coral put two fingers in his mouth, sucked
the central hole. Then Coral massaged his noisily, and held them up. They were
owner, smacking and punching him and understood to represent the state of his master
cracking his joints. and himself if it were necessary to change
Said Hussein: “Fazl Ali, the only their raiment. “The bags are full of stones and
friend of my youth with whom we have not leaves, Hazret,” he concluded.
lately lived for a month or two or borrowed
something from, is an Isfahani, and a HUSSEIN, past master in the art of keeping
merchant at that. I have spoken.” up appearances, at once decided against
Said Coral: “It is well said, Hazret, that selling the saddle-bags. “We must arrive as
beside an Isfahan! merchant an Erzeroumi is though fresh from a journey,” he said,
as open-handed as Hatim Tai’s self.” “otherwise there will be no excuse for travel
Said Hussein: “There spoke Asaf! stains. And to arrive from a journey without
Now, boutcha, let us consider how to saddle-bags—implying, O shameful slander!
approach an Isfahani who is also a merchant. that we possess not so much as a change of
Were one to approach with open hand and raiment—Penah be Khuda, it will not do!
say: ‘O friend, lend to one who approaches What about selling thee, Coral?”
with the steps of supplication in the shoes of Coral went green. “Kourbanut-i-
necessity,’ what is likely, please Allah, to be shuma!” he gasped. “I am your sacrifice,
the answer?” Hazret, but selling me would take time. And,
“Hazret, it is likely to be: ‘Allah Hazret, where would you find such another
Kerim!’” Coral used the intonation sacred to slave as your poor Coral?”
choking off a beggar. He kissed Hussein’s feet. Hussein
“Even so, Coral. One must approach laughed. “Be content, Coral. The skin is
with a long nose and a careless air. To him nearer than the shirt, and between the two
who hath, or appeareth to have, is always cometh the slave. I have yet a shirt. Take it to
given. So hath Allah decreed: He is merciful the nearest broker.”
and compassionate! Now, Coral, I have He picked up the garment. “Wash it
ascertained that my friend Fazl Ali is absent first, Coral,” he added prudently.
from the city and will not return for several All hinged on that little sentence. Coral
days. In the meanwhile we must eat. Is there proceeded to wash the shirt in the ten-by-ten
aught in the treasury?” tank in the common- court, where all the inn
“Hazret, my shirt-pockets are full of guests cleansed their clothes and their children
gold.” and themselves and their animals, besides
Thus, humorously, replied Coral, who drawing water for drinking and religious
did not possess the garment in question. ablutions. And as he rinsed and wrung, an
“Then, Coral, we must sell acquaintance passed through the court. The
something.” acquaintance was confidential slave to an
“The ass, Hazret?” Isfahan grandee: he had only looked in with a
Murder, Haircut and Shave 3

message to his master’s banker and would not and the Shirazi cameleer were replaced by a
have seen Coral but for the washing. He brace of Kurdish chieftains. At the entrance of
invited Coral to a party that night. There the avenue leading to the Shah Abbass Bazaar
would be a few old cronies, the place was an a beautifully dressed fop rushed in and
empty house neighbored by empty houses, relieved the footman. The Turkoman joined
formality would be absent. When Coral had the crowd behind, the other three went their
sold the shirt he bought a square yard of way. The procession galloped down the
bread, a skewer of meat and a string of dried avenue.
apricots for Hussein’s supper, and asked leave It was hard going, with the sky above
to go and get drunk. Hussein gave leave and a unshaded by clouds and culminating in a sun
benison. nearly white with heat. The dust churned up,
Coral repaired to the empty house, the head-high. A little way along the avenue the
neighbor of empty houses, soon after dusk. He fop was smitten with an idea.
was the first to arrive and the first to leave. “Where, please Allah, be we bound,
And he was sober; a man with so much on his Brother?” He asked the Kurd under the other
mind that nothing could make him drunk. aft corner.
The Kurd opened his eyes. “Why,
NEXT forenoon, about the time the please Allah, to the corpse-washing-house of
congregations were pouring out of the the parish, I suppose,” he returned.
mosques after Namez-i-Chast, a funeral “Thou supposest, Brother?” repeated
cortege trotted past the Mosque of Lutfulah, at the fop.
the north-east side of Isfahan’s main square. “Please Allah, we be strangers in
It consisted of a bier and a rabble. The Isfahan, my brother and I. We have no
bier was borne by four: a long-faced Shirazi knowledge of the lay of its several quarters.”
cameleer at one corner, at the others a Hindu “Verily, Isfahan is half the world,
Mollah, a greasy Turkoman chief, and a smart saving Lahore,” the fop agreed. “But, brother,
footman of the Prince-Governor’s household. I took thee for the kin of the dead.”
They ran as hard as they could; that was from “My brother and I but seek to acquire
pure kindheartedness and to acquire merit in merit by helping along the dead. From the
the next world. Percussion of the Grave and the Questioning
Carrying a corpse is the one thing over of the Grave may Allah Almighty deliver
which no Persian dawdles. No respectable him!”
funeral travels slower than a canter. The “Amin!” responded the fop. “But who
reason is that the two angels who wait to is directing this?” He hailed the assistant-
cross-examine the deceased about his religious executioner: “Where be we bound, Brother?”
tenets directly he is in the grave get impatient The little official twisted his head to
if they are kept waiting. Naturally they take it answer back. “By Allah, I know not. I was at
out on the deceased. point of asking thee, Brother. Art thou not kin
Several of the congregation from the of the dead?”
Lutfulah Mosque slipped their shoulders under “By thy salt, no!”
the bier and helped it on a little way, thus The assistant-executioner bawled to
doing a virtuous act. At a corner of the square the crowd: “Who is kin of the dead among ye?
the Hindu grew tired and surrendered his Let him stand forth!”
corner to one of the Chief Executioner’s There was no response. Only the cry:
underlings. A little further on the Turkoman “Kin of the dead, stand forth!” passed from
Mammoth Detective 4

rank to rank. was to bury the body and cease worrying
The four bearers stopped and eyed one about the affair.
another around the corners of the bier. “I take On them descended lightning out of a
refuge with Allah from Satan the clear sky. The Prince-Governor of Isfahan
Everlastingly Stoned!” said the fop uneasily. would have the investigation pursued to the
end. If those murderers were not found within
THEY put the burden down. The assistant- a reasonable time every official concerned
executioner instituted an inquiry. Nobody would lose his billet and eat sticks. Too many
knew anything about the corpse, but unsolved mysteries had happened in Isfahan
somebody suggested its instant conveyance lately, said the Prince-Governor. He did not
before the Ketkhoda of the ward. It was, add that he was curious to learn the facts of it.
therefore, taken up again by the four bearers, Now search commenced vigorously.
deposited before the Ketkhoda’s gate, and the Spies and busybodies dragooned the city. The
Ketkhoda summoned. The result of his three suspects remained in jail, and the Chief
investigation was clinching. The body was of Police took on himself the task of fixing the
that of a coarse-faced, oldish man. In the side guilt on them if they did not bribe heavily
of the chest was a stab, neatly washed and enough.
hidden by the shroud, which explained his That evening Hussein remarked to
death. Everyone turned eyes of suspicion on Coral: “My heart is tightened and mine eyes
the four bearers. are yellow with regret, Coral. To think that so
“By Al Aziz, I am guiltless!” cried the fine an orange should be placed in our hands
four in chorus. and we should fear to squeeze it.”
It was perfectly plain. The murderers “Belike, Hazret,” agreed Coral, “the
had borne the bier forth a little way, and had juice might prove too sour.”
sneaked off, one by one, as new bearers had “Who so seeks to guide the feet of
taken their places. How far it had come and Justice has to be careful lest he planteth one
when, Allah alone knew. The Kurds and the on his own neck,” said Hussein. “I see no
fop were straightaway arrested by the chance of a profit anywhere, so it is well to
assistant-executioner; and the crowd, corpse keep aside.”
and suspects were marched in search of the And he groaned. There should have
nearest police officials. been a commission in the business that had
been placed in his hands, but he saw more
ALL the officialdom of Isfahan tried its teeth likelihood of jail unless he kept strictly out of
on the case in vain. The one certain fact was it.
that the fop and the Kurds were put in jail. “The prisoners, Hazret?” said Coral.
There was no clue to the perpetrators of the “They would promise, but how to
crime; the victim could not be identified, make them pay?”
though half the city came to try. The progress
of the funeral could be traced back to the EARLY the next morning Hussein went for a
southeast side of the main square, and no stroll in the Shah Abbass Bazaar. He spoke
further. The somewhat tactless move of with an acquaintance, and directly after betook
imprisoning the last set of bearers discouraged himself to the jail in a manner that just
others who had assisted in the carrying from escaped hurry. He was allowed to interview
giving evidence. By evening prayer-time the all three prisoners. The Kurds offered five
officials gave it up. The best thing, they said, hundred tomauns between them, the fop two
Murder, Haircut and Shave 5

hundred. The understanding was that the sums anyone.
would be paid to the discoverer of the real At noon a spy came around to report
culprits when the victims were let loose. Hussein’s transactions in the jail. It looked
Hussein was satisfied with a plain written joyfully suspicious. The chief sent a
agreement from the fop, who was a local man, messenger at once to Hussein’s inn.
but from the Kurds he extracted a Cursing A nervous man was Coral as he
Letter after this fashion: saddled the ass and received orders to stay and
“. . . If we fail to keep this promise, mind his master’s gear. Hussein went on his
may Allah curse our mother and father, our way cheerfully, and was received in private
sisters and our children. And may He smite us audience by the great man.
with sickness.” Sohreb Khan was a huge man, with the
Which arrangement, on the face of it, fat face of a vicious child behind a man’s
was foolish. The local man could easily refuse beard, the pig-eyes of cunning cruelty, and the
to pay a mere stranger; the Kurds would pay, swelled forehead vein of implacable temper.
but had not promised not to take their money “Dost imagine, friend, that a sparrow
back later. drops a feather in Isfahan and I know it not?”
Then Hussein went back to the inn and he asked. “It is not so, Mas’llah! What thou
demanded from Coral what money remained didst in the jail but two hours agone is known
from the sale of the shirt. He counted the to me. It seems, friend, that thy knowledge of
coppers. “Enough to buy us both a good this crime is extensive.”
midday meal, boutcha,” he said. “I take refuge with Allah from Satan
“I have arranged it to buy us meals for the Stoned!” returned Hussein. “Do you
three days, until your rich friend is home, imply, Saheb, that I had something to do with
Hazret,” Coral replied, a little worried by an the crime? Not I, by Al-Aziz! Though, to be
unusual glint in his master’s eyes. sure, I know of three of the burned-feathered
“Thou wilt expend it on a belt- ones who committed it.”
stretching meal for us both, I. No need for “How canst thou know of the criminals
doling when by Night Prayer we shall own a if thou hadst nothing to do with the crime?”
hundred tomauns. A hundred tomauns, Coral, asked Sohreb Khan.
furnished by one Sohreb Khan, the Chief of “Why, please Allah, I learned of them
Police.” by inspecting the corpse this morning. When,
“Allah’s with you, Hazret! Whoever with others, I went to ascertain if the deceased
got money from a chief of police?” was known to me, a careful look at it informed
“Allah is great, Coral.” me who three of the murderers were.”
“If He can make you wring money “And who were they?”
from a chief of police, Hazret, truly He is.” “I know not their names, nor, to the
Thus Coral, piously but dubiously. best of my knowledge, have I ever set eyes on
them. Still, please Allah, it should be easy
THE police chief of Isfahan was a sorry man from my description to find them.”
that day. The Prince-Governor sent more than “Then, by thy salt, friend, why didst
once to ascertain what progress had been thou not at once bring this information to
made. The chief always replied that he had a me?”
clue. And he had most of his underlings fed “Why, Saheb, if I have, please Allah,
with sticks on the soles of their feet because more wit than all Isfahan put together, should
they could find no way of fixing the crime on I not make my commission out of it? Behold,
Mammoth Detective 6

the townsman prisoner is to pay me two “I will pay nothing, but will make thee
hundred tomauns when I clear him, and the eat stick until thou tellest me all.”
Kurds five hundred. I have the written “In one hour a friend of whose identity
promise of the one, a Cursing Letter from the you know nothing will go to the Prince-
others.” Governor and give the information unless I
Sohreb Khan roared with laughter. come to tell him all is arranged.”
“The Kurds will respect their word, but will Sohreb snorted, nicely trapped.
slay thee and recover their tomauns later. The “Twenty, thou bankrupt!” he offered.
townsman will not keep faith with thee.” They bargained, and compromised at
“But he will with you,” said Hussein. one hundred. When Hussein had it in his
“Pour the oil of information into the hands in good silver he carefully coached
flask of attention.” Sohreb.
“The sums are payable not to me by “Saheb,” he said, “a caravan of
name but to whoever shall fix the guilt on the pilgrims bound for Kerbela rested at a certain
true culprits. Will you purchase the documents inn in this city. They went on their way about
from me for one hundred and fifty tomauns?” the time the corpse we know all too well was
Sohreb Khan opened his pig-eyes. making the circuit of the square. The company
“How would that profit me?” included a left-handed man, one with a badly
“Do not pretend, Saheb-Jam, that your scratched face, and one skilled in the barber’s
penetrating intelligence does not perceive the craft. Send swift officers after the caravan, and
benefit. You will extract two hundred tomauns if those three be with it still, let them be
from the townsman, thus making fifty for arrested, in Allah’s name. Let us now go to
yourself. And by forgiving the Kurds their inspect the corpse and I will explain.”
promise you will bind them to you with cords
of gratitude. At present you dare not either SOHREB KHAN presented himself very
keep them in jail or loose them. Behold, you cheerfully at the Prince-Governor’s levee the
shall go to them, and with a great laugh say: next day but one.
‘The youth, my agent, who secured the “Well,” quoth the Prince in no good
Cursing Letter from you, did it at my bidding. humor, “what report dost thou bring, O
Behold, I jested with you: here is the letter, I bankrupt one? Do murderers still walk freely
have no desire to rob you.’ Kurds, Saheb, are to and fro in Isfahan in spite of Our orders?”
Sons of Gratitude—they will trouble you no Sohreb made up the facial expression
further.” of one amazed. “Subhan’llah! Did not the
Prince order the arrest of the murderers of the
AT LAST the official intelligence was Greek perfumer? And when the Prince orders,
enlightened. “Barak’llah!” Sohreb exclaimed, is it not done? Please Allah, the four
“I will find the murderers.” murderers wait without, having been arrested
“Even so, please Allah. By your salt, at Maier.”
Saheb, your name will resound to Fars. I will “Afrin! What is this mention of a
tell you the way, for one hundred and fifty Greek?” demanded the Prince.
tomauns.” “This slave of the Prince referreth to
“Ten, to be paid when I have the men the dead Greek who, by mistake, was borne
in hand,” said Sohreb. about on good Moslem shoulders two noons
“One hundred and fifty,” said Hussein. ago. This least of the Prince’s servants said to
“Paid now.” his men: ‘Go, overtake the Kerbela caravan
Murder, Haircut and Shave 7

that left Isfahan at the time this accursed It was attar of roses.”
Christian corpse was sullying the shoulders of “Afrin!” said the Prince, and all of his
Believers. If in the company ye find a left- courtiers after him.
handed man, one with a scratched face, one “Would this Prince’s slave could die
with some barbering skill, and a fourth their now and hear no other earthly sound after the
familiar friend, arrest them. If they be not with Prince’s word of commendation! Now, the
the company, then let Iran be scoured until man’s feet were callous with walking: he was
they be found.’ And the four men were with not one who could afford attar of roses for his
the caravan, and so greatly were they amazed own use. Therefore he must have traded in the
at their detection that each began to accuse the scent In a word, this was no follower of the
other three of betraying all.” Prophet (bliss attend his beard!), but an infidel
“Afrin!” exclaimed the Prince. “How perfumer. Now came the question of the
didst thou find this out?” slayers. Four must have been concerned: it
“I am the Prince’s sacrifice! Inspection would need four to carry the bier. Now, this
of the corpse showed what manner of men Greek had been stabbed in the left side, one
three of the murderers were, beside what and effectually. Yet there were bruises on the
manner of man the corpse was in life.” throat, marks of two hands. One throttled him
“Explain,” said the Prince. “If the in front while another stabbed from behind.”
explanation is good, why, by Allah, we of the “How?” asked the Prince. “One could
Kajar house know how to bestow rewards.” throttle and stab, too.”
“One glance of approval from the “Kourbanut-i-shuma, Hazret-i-Ali!
Prince’s eyes is enough pay for a lifetime of Both thumbs made prints. And the victim was
toil! To begin, the corpse had been prepared strongly built. One held, one stabbed, and he
with care in a way, the wound being washed stabbed from behind to avoid the risk of
so that no blood might show. The beard had stabbing his friend. And he used his left hand;
been shaved off, obviously to disguise the and used it dexterously, by token of the way
features, and, although no trouble had been the wound slanted. Now, the nails of the
taken to cleanse the body generally, the head corpse had been cut and cleaned. It might be
also was fresh shaved. Why, reflected the he left nail-marks of his struggle, and that his
Prince’s slave, all this trouble over shaving? nails had suffered in the struggle. So the nails
Then the reason was plain. The skin of the were trimmed lest the scratches they inflicted
head was not that of one who habitually goes should be specially noted if the slayers came
shorn, it was like the skin whence the beard under suspicion. And since the scratches had
had been freshly removed after death. The to be considered, they must be in some spot
man had worn hair all over his head: he was where they could be noticed. Hence I inferred
no follower of the Prophet (on whom be one with a scratched face—and well he is
peace!) —shaving it was a disguise.” scratched indeed! Then the barber as third was
“Afrin!” said the Prince again. guessed at because all barbering was well
“The Prince’s servant lives a thousand done. The fourth might be taken for granted.
years in one moment of the Royal Find Scratched Face, Left Hand, and one with
approbation!” smirked Sohreb. “The next some barbering skill, and any fourth man who
point was a curious perfume about the corpse frequented their company might be the fourth
and its wrappings. For a test part of the in guilt.”
wrappings were washed until the death reek “And how didst thou connect all this
was eliminated, yet the other scent remained. with the caravan?”
Mammoth Detective 8

“Simply enough. No perfumer was not await his rich friends’ return, but left
missing from the Bazaar of the At-tarin. Isfahan at once, prudently reserving Fazl Ali
Hence the deceased must have been a traveler. as an untapped source of supply against
Inquiry at the different inns elicited that a another period of need.
Greek pedler had been traveling with the He rode a horse again; Coral, the ass.
Kerbela train, but had not joined it when it left “Master,” whispered Coral, “one matter alone
Isfahan. And I found that a left-handed rogue is not patent to my intelligence. The smell of
had sold an ass before the caravan left the attar. I’ll swear there was none about the
city—the perfumer’s ass. A little application corpse.”
of the willow wands to the soles of the “It was necessary to connect the corpse
fellows’ feet made them confess where they with its trade, boutcha.”
had hidden the victim’s stock, as too “But Sohreb Khan smelled it, and so
incriminating. Now will justice be done, for did all he called to witness it.”
the rogues are, please the Prince, well known “He smelled it, Coral, when I assured
to my officers—men who have earned death a him I had smelled it. And the others smelled it
hundred times.” on his assurance.”
“That is as well, for I would not have “Afrin!” chuckled Coral. “Master, it
had Moslems slain for an infidel,” decreed the was an ingenious thought of yours to find the
Prince. “Now, whose dog was Asaf, who was clues to the murderers—after I told you how I
deemed fit to be Vizier to Suleiman the All- heard the three actual perpetrators describing
Wise, compared to Sohreb Khan? Let the the crime to the fourth man, and arranging the
mouth of Sohreb be filled with gold and funeral as well, in the empty house next to that
sweetmeats, as well as it has filled Our ears in which I waited for my friends— Mas’llah!”
with words of good sense. We have spoken.” “All comes from Allah. To Him be the
praise, Coral,” Hussein replied modestly.
MIRZA HUSSEIN, his purse plethoric, did