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Motherland: Growing Up With the Holocaust PDF

369 Pages·2015·3.239 MB·English
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5.625 × 8.5 SPINE: 0.6875 FLAPS: 3.5 M memoir $27.95 U.S. o M o t h e r l a n d “I am the child of a woman who survived the t pr a i s e F o r h Holocaust not by the skin of her teeth but e heroically,” writes Rita Goldberg. In a deeply r moving and dramatic narrative about the twen- “ Emotionally shattering . . . Goldberg writes l tieth century that recalls Edmund de Waal’s eloquently of the ‘volcanic pressures’ that shaped her a The Hare with Amber Eyes, Goldberg introduces family’s story and continue to haunt her own.” n the extraordinary story of her mother, Hilde R i t a Go l d b e r g —Kirkus Reviews d Born in Basel in 1949, Jacobsthal, a close friend of Anne Frank’s grew up mostly in the United States with two family who was fifteen when the Nazis invaded “A n exemplary attempt to confront the complex early years in Germany, where her father was a Holland. After the arrest of her parents in fate of these families cut brutally from their own U.S. Army psychiatrist. She taught literature 1943, Hilde fled to Belgium, living out the war history. Motherland is a double memoir that braids at Essex and Cambridge Universities in Eng- years in a tumultuous set of circumstances— [the author’s] parents’ story with her own, and land for nearly ten years. She went on to teach M o t h e r l a n d among the Resistance and at Bergen-Belsen at MIT and is now a lecturer in comparative succeeds in articulating a difficult truth.” after its liberation—that The Guardian judged literature at Harvard University. She and her —The Economist “worthy of a film script.” husband have two sons and two grandsons As astonishing as Hilde’s story is, Rita and live near Boston, Massachusetts. herself emerges as the central, fascinat- ing character in this utterly unique account. R Proud of her mother and yet struggling to forge an identity in the shadow of such he- i t roic accomplishments (in a family setting that a G r o w i nG U p included close relationships with the iconic G Frank family), she offers a profound and un- w i t h t h e o flinching look at the often-wrenching family THE NEW PRESS ld h o l o c a U s t and interpersonal struggles of the children www.thenewpress.com b and grandchildren whose own lives are haunt- e Front cover: large photograph courtesy of r ed by historic tragedy. g Monica Kaltenschnee of the Stichting Motherland is the culmination of a lifetime Annemie en Helmuth Wolff, Amsterdam; of reflection and a decade of research. It is an small photograph courtesy of the author epic story of survival, adventure, and new life. R i t a G o l d b e r g Author photograph by Ellen Hart THE Jacket design by Ann Weinstock NEW PRESS MotherlandMECHnew2a.indd 1 01/16/2015 3:04 PM M O T H E R L A N D GROWING UP WITH THE HOLOCAUST Rita Goldberg © 2015 by Rita Goldberg All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any form, without written permission from the publisher. The photograph of Hilde (front cover and illustration 10) appears courtesy of Monica Kaltenschnee of the Stichting Annemie en Helmuth Wolff, Amsterdam. The Nazi “transport” list (illustration 11) appears courtesy of René Kok at NIOD. Requests for permission to reproduce selections from this book should be mailed to: Permissions Department, The New Press, 120 Wall Street, 31st floor, New York, NY 10005. First published in Great Britain by Halban Publishers Ltd., 2014 This edition published in the United States by The New Press, New York, 2015 Distributed by Perseus Distribution ISBN 978-1-62097-073-7 (hc) ISBN 978-1-62097-074-4 (e-book) CIP data available The New Press publishes books that promote and enrich public discussion and understanding of the issues vital to our democracy and to a more equitable world. These books are made possible by the enthusiasm of our readers; the support of a committed group of donors, large and small; the collaboration of our many partners in the independent media and the not-for-profit sector; booksellers, who often hand-sell New Press books; librarians; and above all by our authors. www.thenewpress.com Book design by Spectra Titles, Norfolk Printed in the United States of America 2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1 For the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Hilde and Max: The Goldberg Harts Daniel, his wife Ellen and sons Gabriel and Jamie Benjamin The Goldberg Brubakers Heather, her husband Zach and daughter May Melanie and her husband Robert Michael The Goldberg Ross Russells Rebecca and her husband Riz, daughter Zawadi and son Simoni Adam And for all their future descendants Contents Acknowledgments vii Notes on the Text xii American Prologue: Mother and Daughter 1 Amsterdam: July 1943, Dawn 16 1. Berlin 18 2. Berlin and Amsterdam 24 3. My Mother Comes of Age 38 4. Invasion, Amsterdam 1940 54 5. In the Ardennes, 1943 99 6. Bergen-Belsen, April 1945 147 7. Displaced Persons, Bergen-Belsen 184 8. Love Letters: Amsterdam, Basel 223 9. War Again, Israel 1948 249 10. An American in Germany, 1971 270 Epilogue 299 Notes 321 Acknowledgments I HAVE BARELY started, and already I feel like an Oscar nominee fearful of leaving people out. First thanks must go to my mother’s rescuers: Zus and Joop Scholte, in Amsterdam, and Robert Dupuis and family in the Ardennes of Belgium. Without them my mother would probably not have survived, and there would be no marriage, no children and no story. They should have been inscribed among the Righteous of All Nations at Yad Vashem in Jerusalem, but for some reason that never happened, possibly because of my mother’s habit (so like my own) of jettisoning the past like a booster rocket on her voyage through life. I hope that this book will make some amends, especially to Kiki Scholte, the youngest daughter of the Dutch family, who has been a friend all these years. I mention Yad Vashem, but other museums also appear quite a bit in this book, not only because people working there have kindly helped me with research, but also because museums make concrete what so many survivors’ children have internalized. Iwould like to say, though, that my mother’s life with the rescuers, vii viii Motherland and with other survivors during and after the war, was not museum-like at all: she drew emotional nourishment from their warmth, joy and sense of fun. Some of the postwar pictures included here give an inkling of their vitality, as well as of their heroism. My closest friend, Ilene Neuman, should be thanked too, though she died of breast cancer long ago. Ilene knew my story from the inside. She was a year older and came from my hometown, Teaneck, New Jersey, though I didn’t know her in high school. From the moment we met during my first weekend in college, we were nearly inseparable. Her father had survived the camps, and we had in common our recognition of the existential absurdity of our position. When things got tough, our mantra was always: “Well, at least it’s not Auschwitz!” followed by explosive laughter (Ilene, like my mother, was an excellent laugher). When she was dying in Palo Alto, California, I called as much as I could, and visited a week before her death. At that point in 1995, the year she died at forty-seven, her cancer had metastasized to her brain and bones. She had constant pain and nosebleeds, though her intellect was intact right until the end. Her family, under the stress of her illness, was in disarray. “It’s still better than Auschwitz!” she said. In a horrible way it was better, and she knew it. Auschwitz didn’t even let her experience her own suffering fully. I miss her to this day and wish that she were here to celebrate this memoir with me. Among the living, family and friends come first in the order of gratitude. My parents, Max and Hilde, are still living together in Teaneck and eager to see this apparently endless project appear in print. My sister Dot recorded long interviews with our mother in 1983, and the typescript of these became the basis for my own interviews much later on. Dot and my middle sister, Susie, have offered unwavering love and support from the beginning, when they read the first version of the memoir. Oliver, Benjamin, Daniel and his wife Ellen and their two little Acknowledgments ix boys, Gabriel and Jamie, are the delight of my life and have made me a happy writer even when the work has been sad. They (at least the adults) and other members of the extended family – nieces Heather Brubaker and Rebecca Ross Russell, and Becky’s father, David Ross Russell – read the manuscript at various points. The entire clan, including cousins in Switzerland, Israel and the Philippines, has been a source of loving strength, and I recognize my good fortune in having them. Special thanks go to two people whose intellectual support has been essential. My husband, Oliver Hart, has been everything writers usually mention at the very end of the acknowledgments. We have been married forty years, and he has been patient, loving, hilarious and generally adorable. He has also been a challenging reader and fastidious editor even when he had to grit his teeth to plow through yet another version of a chapter. Our son Benjamin Hart, who is a professional in these matters, has edited several versions of the manuscript down to the one now in print. His love of language and his grasp of structure and logic are amazing, and his comments have been astute and characteristically witty. Healso gave me the title of my book. Warm thanks as well to Myra McLarey and Steve Prati, who have been insightful readers, commentators, cheerleaders and beloved friends. I’m grateful for the help, interest and unflagging kindness of many people in Lexington and Cambridge, Massachusetts and abroad, only a few of whom I’ll name here: Steven Cooper; my close friend, Pat McFarland, who died before she could see the published book, and her husband Philip McFarland; John Gledson; Ruthy and Elhanan Helpman; Linda Jorgenson; Eva Simmons; Esther Silberstein; Ali Butchko; colleagues at the Department of Comparative Literature at Harvard; and the now-defunct Porch Table writers’ group in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the brainchild of Elena Castedo and of which Myra, above, Gregory Maguire (to whom thanks as well) and I were members.

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