Mother-Infant Attachment and Psychoanalysis: The Eyes of Shame PDF
Preview Mother-Infant Attachment and Psychoanalysis: The Eyes of Shame
Mother-Infant Attachment and Psychoanalysis The issue ofshame has become a central topic for many writers and therapistsin recentyears, butitisdebatable how muchreal understand ing ofthis powerfuland pervasive emotionwehaveachieved. Mother-Infant Attachment and Psychoanalysisargues that shamecan develop during the first sixmonths oflifethrough an unreflecting look inthemother'seyes,and thatthis shameisinternalizedbytheinfantand reverberates through its later life. Mary Ayers further expands on this concept ofthe look through a powerful and extensive study ofthe con cept of the Evil Eye, an enduring universal belief that eyes have the power to inflict injury. Ways of healing shame within a clinical setting are explored and a fascinating analysis ofthe role ofeye contact in the therapeuticencounterisexamined. MotherTnfant Attachment and Psychoanalysis brings together a unique blend oftheoretical interpretations ofshame with clinical stud ies,and integrates major concepts from psychoanalysis, Jungian analy sis,developmental psychology and anthropology. The result is a broad understandingofshameand arealcomprehension ofwhyitmay under lieawide range ofclinical disorders. Jungian analysts, psychoanalysts, and psychotherapists as weil as all thoseinterestedinobjectrelationsandearlyemotionaldevelopmentwill profit greatly from the theoretical and clinical analysis offered in this book. Mary Ayers is a Graduate of the University of Maryland School of Social Work, and received her PhD in depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. She currently divides her time between being a mother to her four children, and a private practice in the suburbs of Washington DC where she specializes in analyticwork with childrenand adults. Thispageintentionallyleftblank Mother-Infant Attachment and Psychoanalysis The Eyes of Shame Mary Ayers Firstpublished2003 byRoutledge 27 Church Road.Hove,EastSussexBN3 2FA Simultaneouslypublishedinthe USAand Canada byRoutledge 71IThirdAvenue.NewYork,NY 10017 Reprinted 2004and 2008 Transferred to Digital Printing20II RoutledgeisanimprintoftheTay/orandFroncisGroup,anInforma business Copyright©2003 MaryAyers TypesetinTimes byRefineCateh Ltd,Bungay.Suffolk Coverdesign byTerry Foley,Anu Design All rights reserved.No partof thisbookmaybe reprintedor reproducedorutilizedinanyform orbyany electronlc,rnechanical, orothermeans,nowknownorhereafterinvented.including photoeopyingand reeording,orinany informationstorageor retrievalsystem,withoutpermission inwritingfrom thepublishers. BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublictnionData Aeataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromthe BritishLibrary LibraryafCongressCatafoging-in-PubficationData Ayers,Mary. 1960- Theeyesofshame/by MaryAyers.- Isted. p.em. Includes bibliographical referencesand index. ISBN 1-58391-287-8(alk.paper)- ISBN 1·58391-288-6 (pbk.:alk. paper) I.Objeetrelations (Psyehoanalysis)2.Attachmentbehavior.3. Gaze-Psyehologicalaspeets.4.Shame.5.Psyehoanalysis.I.Title. BFI75.5.024A942003 152.4-dc21 2003004202 ISBN978-1-58391-288-1(pbk) Publisher's Note The publisher has goneto great lengthsto ensurethe quality of thisreprint butpointsoutthatsomeimperfectionsin theoriginal may be apparent. To my husband, Richard, who helped me know my shame And to our son,Sean, who embodies its healing Thispageintentionallyleftblank Contents Acknowledgements IX Introduction 2 2 Theeyesofshame 7 Shamedefined 7 An analysisofthedevelopmentaloriginsofshame 24 Conclusion 32 2 Mother'seyes 34 Theeycasface 42 Infant research 50 Conclusion 59 3 Mother'seyesas falsemirrors 61 Theeyeasmirror 63 Theeyeasfalsemirror 72 Conclusion 97 4 TheEvil Eyeand theGreat Mothcr 99 The EvilEye IOD The Great Mother 110 Theeyes ofthe Great Mother 115 Conclusion 118 viii Contents 5 The eyesofthe Terrible Mother 120 The EyeofDeath 120 The Eyeofthe TerribleMother inAncientEgypt 125 Thepetrifyingfaceof Medusa 132 Thefieryeyesofthe Baba Yaga 137 Conclusion 142 6 Thelook 146 A countertransferencepsychosis: Thestonewomb 148 A psychotic transference: Thepetrifying eyes 157 The words10say it 169 Psychoticanxieties 179 Conclusion 186 7 The eyesoflove 188 Symbolsoftransformation 190 Theroleofeye-to-eyecontact inpsychotherapy 206 Conclusion 214 Epilogue: Clinical implicationsfor thefieldofdepth psychology 216 Bibliography 225 Index 235 Acknowledgements Although a work such as this isauthored by one person, its under takinghas been inspiredandsupported byothers. Manypeoplehave contributed ideas and been generous with their time, and so this book isa result ofthemas weIl. There are four individuals who directly influenced my writing. More thanks than can be expressed on paper go to my supervisor and mentor, the late Mara Sidoli, who with great skil1 opened my eycs to the world of infancy and the work of Michael Fordham. I truly miss her. Julie Bondanza gave unconditional and loving sup port to me in my own inner work, in addition to some wonderful book suggestions. My dissertation advisor,Cathy Rives, read alI the chapters carefulIy, gave critical suggestions, and accepted my work withoutquestion. Thisnot only mademydissertation process easier, butinstilIedinmethe feeling that Ihad somethingworthwhile to say, which in turn gaveme the confidence to pursue its publication.And last, Virginia Hendrickson, whose seminars on object relationsand the work ofWinnicott inspired many questions, and she generously read mywork for a thorough c1inicaledit. To these four women Iam truly indebted. Thanks must also go to my husband, Richard, whoseencourage ment and support cradled me through my darkest times. My chil dren, Kevin, Sean, Jennifer and Jeremy, tolerated my preoccupation and ill-temper, yet remained enthusiastic. Icouldentrust the care of my newborns to my niece, Sarah, who devoted herselfto their care. And my fellow dream group members listened to me as I babbled loose thoughts and provided a container in which to explore my ideas. Many other friends, colleagues and relatives gave encouragement and support. Sometimesit wasthe loan ofa book,an articlec1ipped
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