Mindful Coaching: How Mindfulness Can Transform Coaching Practice PDF
Preview Mindful Coaching: How Mindfulness Can Transform Coaching Practice
i Mindful Coaching Icon to come How mindfulness can transform coaching practice Liz Hall Koganpage ii Publisher’s note Every possible effort has been made to ensure that the information contained in this book is accurate at the time of going to press, and the publishers and author cannot accept responsibility for any errors or omissions, however caused. No responsibility for loss or damage occasioned to any person acting, or refraining from action, as a result of the material in this publication can be accepted by the editor, the publisher or the author. First published in Great Britain and the United States in 2013 by Kogan Page Limited Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be re produced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms and licences issued by the CLA. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside these terms should be sent to the publishers at the undermentioned addresses: 120 Pentonville Road 1518 Walnut Street, Suite 1100 4737/23 Ansari Road London N1 9JN Philadelphia PA 19102 Daryaganj United Kingdom USA New Delhi 110002 www.koganpage.com India © Liz Hall, 2013 The right of Liz Hall to be identifed as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accord ance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. ISBN 978 0 7494 6566 7 EISBN 978 0 7494 6567 4 British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data CIP data is available. Library of Congress Control Number: 2012046241 Typeset by Graphicraft Limited, Hong Kong Printed and bound in India by Replika Press Pvt Ltd iii Dedication I dedicate this book to my late beloved father David, who inspired me with his love of words, his gentleness and his wonder at what lies within and beyond these lives of ours; to my wonderfully supportive husband, Ray, and to our beautiful children Molly, Emma and Dylan who’ve been so understanding of the times when yet again I’ve said those words, ‘Not now, I’m working.’ With love and gratitude, always. iv Praise for Mi n D f u l CoaC h i n g There’s a lot of buzz around mindfulness at the moment. Liz Hall makes a great job of explaining what it is and why it’s so fascinating. Especially, she makes a compelling case for the benefts of mindfulness practice in the coaching context – both for coaches and their clients. She explains why mindfulness is something to be practised, not just thought about. This book could change your coaching practice very much for the better. More importantly, it could actually change your life. Michael Chaskalson, mindfulness trainer and coach, author of The Mindful Workplace Reading Liz Hall’s Mindful Coaching will fll you with the awe of the French soldier who frst brushed sand from the Rosetta Stone and knew something signifcant had just occurred. Liz has integrated three felds; coaching, health and resilience, and mindfulness to reveal a technique for helping others (and ourselves) pursue dreams and shared visions. These are the practices that will also transform teams, organizations and communities. Read this book slowly to fully grasp its signifcance! Professor richard Boyatzis, Case Western reserve University, adjunct Professor of Human resources, esaDe, co-author (with Dan Goleman and annie McKee) of the international best-seller, Primal leadership, and co-author with (annie McKee) of the recent Resonant leadership Contents Praise for Mindful Coaching iv Contents v Acknowledgements x Foreword xi What you will fnd in this book xiv Introduction 1 Overview 7 Defnitions, origins and relevance to coaching 9 Defning mindfulness 10 Present moment, happy moment 12 A brief orientation to coaching 16 A brief history of mindfulness 21 Not just Buddhist 21 v The impact of mindfulness 25 We can change our spots and learn new tricks 25 Benefts of mindfulness 33 Fundamental principles 39 Presence 41 Defnitions 42 Setting up a practice 47 Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement 53 Contents CEnuqriuoisriyt y 543 Non-judgement 54 A t t u n e m e n t and resonance 59 Mirror, mirror 60 Defning attunement 61 Resonance 63 Compassion 67 Compassion in coaching 67 Developing compassion through mindfulness 70 Benefts 73 Acknowledgements x Beitntegr aonudtc doominegs 796 Foreword by Peter Hawkins xi DLeotitningg v geors us b8e4ing? 82 Emotion regulation systems 85 What you will fnd in this book xiv OAcwcenp gtaonaclse? 868 Back to the future 89 Pressing pause 90 Working with mindfulness in coaching and mentoring 91 Developing, suporting introduction 1 and nSuerstusiroing p trheep acroaatciohn 93 Within the coaching session 97 After the coaching session 102 Introducing mindfulnes to clients 103 Appropriateness 103 part one Overview 7 MOvaekricnogm tihneg b ruesinsteasns ccea se for m1i0n4dfulness 107 Running mindfulness programmes 107 The FEEL model 109 FEEL: a model for applying mindfulness 109 01 Defnitions, origins and relevance to coaching 9 TChlie nmt oisdseule s 10193 Stress, anxiety, depression and work–life balance 115 The good guy and the bad guy 116 Defning mindfulness 10 AHpopwr osatrcehs sa nafdf eacvtso iudsa nce orien1ta1t6ion 119 Present moment, happy moment 12 HDioswcr empainndcfyu-lbnaessesd c panro hcelspsi ng 1201 A brief orientation to coaching 16 RTheme gedreialt cgoadc hoifn bgu syness 1223 Resilience, happiness and wellbeing 131 Defnitions 131 What makes us resilient? 131 How mindfulness can help 133 02 a brief history of mindfulnes 21 UHnecaeltrhta aintdy ,w elbeing 137 change, complexity and interconnectedness 143 Uncertainty 143 Not just Buddhist 21 Choamnpgle xaintyd im14pe8rmanence 147 Systems and interconnectedness 151 Working with leaders 157 What makes a leader resonant? 157 Dissonance and burnout 158 03 the impact of mindfulness 25 Mionrde fmulinnedsfsu wl liethadine rlse adership 1m5o9dels 161 Emotional intelligence 167 Ethics 169 We can change our spots and learn new tricks 25 AMcicnodufnutlnabesilsi tayn d ethics 17690 Benefts of mindfulness 33 LCehaadlleernshginpg c h1ar7a3cteristics 172 Desire 174 Tips on using mindfulness to promote ethics 175 Working with emotions 177 Self-awareness 180 Self-management 181 part two Fundamental principles 39 Seolcfi-aels taewemar,e nes and relationship management 184 self-compasion and self-acceptance 189 Growth in self-criticism 192 Not easy 192 04 Presence 41 RCreecaotmivmityen ded1 9m5indfulness practices 193 Getting out of our own way 196 ‘Mistakes’ and mindfulness 196 Defnitions 42 MHeilnpdifnugl omuurs cicli ents be more cre1a9t8ive 198 Setting up a practice 47 CUrseinagti vmei nthdifnuklninegs s with the clie1n9t9 200 Tips for using mindfulnes for creativity in clients 203 Recommended mindfulness practices 205 M i n d f u l n e s s 05 Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement 53 and oMtheinr dafpuplnroesasc hine sm ovement 2078 Gestalt 210 Integration 211 Curiosity 53 SOonmtoaltoicgsi cal co2a1c3hing 215 Enquiry 54 Transapcetrisoonnaall acnoaalcyhsins g and ps2y1ch7osynthesis 220 Non-judgement 54 CAcocgenpitaivnec eb eahnadv icooumraml ictomaecnhti nthge rapy 2235 Thinking environment 226 Inner Game 226 The future 229 The Mindfulness in Coaching survey 231 Coaches’ experience of mindfulness 231 Direct benefts for coaches 233 General comments 240 About the survey 241 The future is mindful 243 Trends 246 Conclusion 248 vi Contents 06 attunement and resonance 59 Mirror, mirror 60 Defning attunement 61 Resonance 63 07 Compassion 67 Compassion in coaching 67 Developing compassion through mindfulness 70 Benefts 73 Better outcomes 76 08 Being and doing 79 Doing versus being? 82 Letting go 84 Emotion regulation systems 85 Own goals? 86 Acceptance 88 Back to the future 89 Pressing pause 90 part three W orking with mindfulness in coaching and mentoring 91 09 Developing, supporting and nurturing the coach 93 Session preparation 93 Within the coaching session 97 After the coaching session 102 10 introducing mindfulness to clients 103 Appropriateness 103 Overcoming resistance 104 Making the business case for mindfulness 107 Running mindfulness programmes 107 11 the feeL model 109 FEEL: a model for applying mindfulness 109 The model 109 Client issues 113 Contents vii 12 stress, anxiety, depression and work–life balance 115 The good guy and the bad guy 116 How stress affects us 116 Approach and avoidance orientation 119 Discrepancy-based processing 120 How mindfulness can help 121 Remedial coaching 122 The great god of busyness 123 13 resilience, happiness and wellbeing 131 Defnitions 131 What makes us resilient? 131 How mindfulness can help 133 Health and wellbeing 137 14 Uncertainty, change, complexity and interconnectedness 143 Uncertainty 143 Change and impermanence 147 Complexity 148 Systems and interconnectedness 151 15 Working with leaders 157 What makes a leader resonant? 157 Dissonance and burnout 158 More mindful leaders 159 Mindfulness within leadership models 161 Emotional intelligence 167 16 ethics 169 Accountability 169 Mindfulness and ethics 170 Leadership characteristics 172 Challenging 173 Desire 174 Tips on using mindfulness to promote ethics 175 viii Contents 17 Working with emotions 177 Self-awareness 180 Self-management 181 Social awareness and relationship management 184 Self-esteem, self-compassion and self-acceptance 189 Growth in self-criticism 192 Not easy 192 Recommended mindfulness practices 193 18 Creativity 195 Getting out of our own way 196 ‘Mistakes’ and mindfulness 196 Mindful music 198 Helping our clients be more creative 198 Creative thinking 199 Using mindfulness with the client 200 Tips for using mindfulness for creativity in clients 203 Recommended mindfulness practices 205 19 Mindfulness and other approaches 207 Mindfulness in movement 208 Gestalt 210 Integration 211 Somatics 213 Ontological coaching 215 Transactional analysis 217 Transpersonal coaching and psychosynthesis 220 Cognitive behavioural coaching 223 Acceptance and commitment therapy 225 Thinking environment 226 Inner Game 226 part four The future 229 20 the Mindfulness in Coaching survey 231 Coaches’ experience of mindfulness 231 Direct benefts for coaches 233 General comments 240 About the survey 241 Contents ix 21 the future is mindful 243 Trends 246 Conclusion 248 References 249 Further reading 257 Index 259
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