Men in Love

571 Pages·2004·2.39 MB·English

THE #1 BEST SELLER!
NANCY FRIDAY
author of MY MOTHER /MY SELF
MEN
IN
LOVE
Men’s Sexual Fantasies:
The Triumph of love Over Rage
MEN IN LOVE

NANCY FRIDAY, THE COURAGEOUS,
CANDID AUTHOR OF MY MOTHER/MY SELF,
EMBARKS ON A BOLD JOURNEY INTO THE
SECRET SEX LIVES OF MEN.

“LIBERATING ... ILLUMINATING ... THE MOST
TALKED ABOUT AND LIFE-CHANGING BOOK
OF THE YEAR.”
-Michael Korda, author of Power

“A LABOR OF LOVE FOR ALL HUMANKIND.
NANCY FRIDAY IS STILL ON THE CUTTING
EDGE.”
-The Houston Chronicle

“NANCY FRIDAY’S INTERPRETATION OF
MEN’S SEXUAL FANTASIES OFFERS AN
INVALUABLE NEW WAY OF SEEING MEN….
IT IS CRUCIAL THAT THE FANTASIES ARE
UNEXPURGATED, EXACTLY AS SHE
RECEIVED THEM; THE WORDS AND IMAGES
EMERGE DIRECTLY ... TELLING US HOW
MEN SECRETLY FEEL: THEIR ANGER AT
WOMEN, AT WAR WITH THEIR DEEPER
UNDERLYING LOVE.”
- Richard Robertiello, M.D.
“SHOCKING, REVEALING … AN IMPORTANT
CONTRIBUTION.”
-Barbara Seaman

“FRIDAY HAS GONE FURTHER INTO THE
WORLD OF MALE FANTASY AND LEARNED
MORE ABOUT IT THAN ANYONE WRITING
FOR A LAY AUDIENCE HAS EVER DONE
BEFORE.... READERS WILL BE TALKING
ABOUT THE BOOK AND ABOUT
THEMSELVES FOR A VERY LONG TIME.”
-Martha Weinman Lear,
author of Heartsounds

“ASTONISHINGLY OUTSPOKEN, EVEN IN A
PERIOD OF UNUSUAL SEXUAL FRANKNESS.”
-Publishers Weekly
BY NANCY FRIDAY
MY SECRET GARDEN
FORBIDDEN FLOWERS
MY MOTHER/MY SELF
MEN IN LOVE:
Men’s Sexual Fantasies:
The Triumph of Love Over Rage
MEN
IN
LOVE

Nancy Friday

A DELL BOOK
Published by
Dell Publishing Co., Inc.
1 Dag Hammarskjold Plaza
New York, New York 10017

Copyright © 1980 by Nancy Friday

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or any information storage and retrieval
system, without the written permission of the Publisher,
except where permitted by law. For information address
Delacorte Press, New York, New York.

Dell ® TM 681510, Dell Publishing Co., Inc.

ISBN: 0-440-15903-2

Reprinted by arrangement with Delacorte Press.

Printed in the United States of America

First Dell printing-February 1981
Fourth Dell printing-January 1983
Acknowledgments

I wish to thank psychoanalyst Richard Robertiello,
M.D., for his professional assistance in reading all
the fantasies in this book, and for giving me the
benefit of his understanding of their meaning. If I
have added my own interpretations to the clarity and
brilliance he brought to our discussions, it is because
– great teacher that he is – he always encouraged me
to question even his opinions.
Further thanks are also lovingly given to two other
friends, psychotherapist Dr. Leah Schaefer and
psychoanalyst Sirgay Sanger, M.D. Their generosity
in giving me so much time, the learning with which
they suggested various corrections to my thinking,
leave me permanently in their debt.
When I hear other writers deplore the failings of
their literary agents, I am always reminded how
much I owe my own, Betty Anne Clarke. I may not
be able to point to any particular pages of my work
and say Betty Anne suggested this idea or that; but
without her courageous belief in me during the past
six years, perhaps the pages never would have been
written.
Happy endings are made all the more poignant by
the memory of unhappy beginnings. At a time when
few others were interested in my work, Linda Grey
came forward with encouragement, advice,
counseland a contract. My debt to her is one only the
most fortunate of writers can understand.

N.F.
For my husband, Bill Manville,
whose name should appear
On the cover of this book with my own.
However, as women have long known,
It is not an equal world.
Contents

1 The Masculine Conflict.........................................11
2 Masturbation..........................................................27

Drake, Harry, Bill, Allan, Lester, Clifton, Hal, Don, Jud, Julius, Burt
3 Sharing and Living Out Fantasies.......................57
Leon, Bryce’s girl Helen, Vance’s wife, Lee, Penrod, Chip, Les,

Warren, Christopher, Murray, Patrick, Miguel
4 Oral Sex..................................................................88
Dan, Donald, Fred, Russell, Lou, Al, Jerry, Bradley, Ben, Wayne,

Oliver, Steve, Eddie
5 Semen....................................................................112

Theo, Hamilton, John, Bruce, Herb, Walter, Seth, Alvin, Salty, Hugh
6 Anal Sex................................................................139

Jackie, Vito, Mitch, Lawrence, Lewis, Henry
7 Starry-Eyed Oedipus...........................................158

Tim, Dyson, Bennet, Sailor, Dan, Jake, Butch, Phil, Chet, Jefferson
8 Fetishism...............................................................185

Roy, Kip, Neil, Tucker, Jack, Keith
9 Water Sports........................................................204

Bernard, Dennis, Hank, Melvin, Fitz, Cyrus
10 Voyeurs and Exhibitionists.................................216

James, Greg, Josh, Jess, Kenneth, Mel, Sandy, Maurice, Daniel
11 Women with Women...........................................247
Crosby, Trenton, Clive, Steven, Prentiss, Gene, Leonard, Luke,

Perry
12 Animals.................................................................270

Gerald, Buck, Rick, Dale, King, Ludwig, Craig, Paul
13 “She Made Me Do It!”........................................287
Michael, Conrad, Ned, Gilbert, Mort, Clement, Deke, Dayton, Rudy,

Lowry, Lennie, Kent, Jason, Ed, Vern, Ben
14 Sharing the Woman with Another Man............324
Vance, Troy, Virgil, Austin, Susie, Thomas, Mac, Jeffrey, Reynolds,

Roddy, Clayton
15 Groups..................................................................353

Justin, Lars, Harvey, Allen
16 Straight Men, Gay Fantasies..............................374

Jock, Connard, Wade, Sam, David, Everett, Tex, Jonathan, Chandler
17 Bisexuals...............................................................392

Farrell, Clark, Jones, Andre, Blake, Jeff, Will, Jimmy
18 Homosexuals........................................................415

Nick August, Jonas, Tommy, Philip, Red, Arthur, Fritz, Jethro, Joe
19 Transvestites........................................................437

Joey, George, Dayle, Howard, Crane, Lloyd
20 Breast and Vagina Envy.....................................455

Alex, Brewster, Horatio, “Joan”, Dean
21 Sadomasochism: The Chains of Love................469
Eliot, Tod, Larry, Matthew, Hank, Rock, Vince, Rod, Gerard, Nigel,
Douglas, Peter, Dr. Lewis Brown, Ronald, Clifford, Roy, Zack,

Vincent, Boyd, Benjamin
22 Virgins..................................................................534
Vernon, Eddie, Omar, Buddy, Sherwin, Andrew, Shep, Milt, Cecil,

Dale, Foster, Davey